Chapter 8

Cal was driving her crazy. And he was doing it on purpose. Jerk.

Something had shifted between them. They'd been in a battle for years, equally matched in the hardheadedness department, and it was as if they'd both come to an unspoken resolve. She'd spent years trying to replace her love of him with anger, but she was tired. It was hard work to keep that level of hatred in your heart. Especially since she'd loved him for as long as she could remember.

Seeing him again, wanting him again, loving him again…she just didn't have the strength to go through it all. He'd rejected her. That's what it really came down to. It hadn't been a rejection of her looks or her affections, he'd rejected her at the core of who she was.

She'd spent years fantasizing about his reaction when he found out what she was capable of. That she was his equal in every way. She thought it would open his eyes and make him really see her. That she was no longer the little girl who followed him around like a puppy. But a woman who could match him in every way. She'd been sorely disappointed that the reality hadn't lived up to the fantasy. But it was her own fault. She recognized now the girl who'd been starved for attention from the men in her life. To be able to prove that she was just as capable and just as worthy of the love, time and attention that her father gave to his agents. She'd gone about it the wrong way, and there was nothing she could do to change the past.

She was done being held under Cal's thumb. If she had to confess her sins to her father she would. But being around Cal again had opened something up inside of her. Even his kiss had been like a veil being removed from her eyes. And she was done living half a life. She was done not being who she was meant to be.

Cal had set up shop in the kitchen. His computers were lined up like soldiers on the big breakfast table and he sat at the keyboard like a king, his fingers moving from one to the other as naturally as some people might breathe.

She knew what it felt like. Knew the rush of power that one tiny command could bring. And there he sat, looking better than he had any right to and just as dangerous. His hair was tousled and a little long around the collar and ears. After they'd come back from the beach he'd changed into a pair of loose-fitting lounge pants and a white T-shirt that hugged his biceps and chest like a second skin. His forearms were strong, the muscles there prominent, and she wanted to get a closer look at the tattoos that ran from shoulder to wrist.

Cal was built like a boxer, with well-defined muscles and an athletic build that made women take a second look whenever he walked into a room.

She was losing her mind. She felt like a teenage girl with a serious case of infatuation, and all she could think about was kissing him again. She went to the fridge to grab a cold bottle of water, looking for a distraction.

She'd always considered herself abnormal, an anomaly in the relationship department. It was always supposed to be Cal for her. She knew it as well as she knew to breathe. No one else had ever captured her attention like he had. She'd never gone through the teenage girl stage where she'd felt the flutter of butterflies any time a boy looked in her direction. There was a soul connection between them, even if he didn't realize it because he couldn't see her as anything more than the child she'd been.

After he'd broken her heart she'd thrown herself into schoolwork, going through two master's programs as if they'd been elementary school. It hadn't been enough to keep her busy so she'd decided to go on and get her PhD, thinking Cal would come back around once he saw she'd grown up. That he would give her the chance to redeem all the wrongs that had been done.

But it hadn't happened. Her father had let it slip about Cal's marriage, almost as an afterthought. He'd been frustrated because Cal put in for vacation leave last minute so he could take a couple of weeks for a honeymoon, and it had left him shorthanded.

The news had been devastating to Evangeline. She remembered that day in her father's office in Technicolor. Time had slowed down—the way he'd been standing behind his desk, shuffling through papers and muttering under his breath in aggravation. The way the grandfather clock had chimed, as if it knew how important it was to etch such a moment in her memory forever.

He'd met her on a job—an accident of fate—as she'd occupied the apartment next to a target the team was keeping tabs on. Julie had been completely opposite of Cal. She'd been a kindergarten teacher and visited her parents every weekend. She'd been a nice girl who'd fallen in love with the man who'd saved her life, and she'd thrown caution to the wind and eloped with him a week later.

Hearing her father utter those words had been the second worst day of her life. She didn't even think her father had noticed when she'd turned around and walked out of his office. That she'd left the house to go back to campus without a goodbye.

All she wanted was for the pain to go away, so she'd gone to a bar a block from campus and gotten ridiculously drunk. She'd also run into one of her graduate professors and used her skills of deception to make her think she was experienced when it came to men. She hadn't been. She'd just been looking for someone, anyone else to fill the void.

And she'd gotten exactly what she'd been looking for. There'd been something about that professor that reminded her of Cal. Maybe his build or the way he'd walked or quirked his head to the side when he was thinking. But there was enough that she could pretend. She'd used him shamelessly for a few weeks. And then she'd walked away with shame and guilt. She'd stopped pursuing doctoral work and found a job that she was way too qualified for, settling down into the life she felt she deserved.

Since then her life had been quiet. There had been no other men. She went to work and came home. And when the sun went down she opened her computer, making sure the walls she'd built to keep Cal out of her life were in place. She knew he kept tabs on her. Was keeping watch on every digital move she made. And it brought her a thrill to know she was good enough to deceive him.

Besides, the tables had turned. She was only doing a little side work from time to time, assisting certain nonprofit organizations in their fundraising so they could help more people. The way she looked at it, she was helping everyone involved. The mega rich she siphoned funds from needed the tax deductions and didn't even realize what charitable contributions they were making. And the charitable organizations publically thanked their largest donors, and it wasn't like the wealthy were going to take it back if they didn't remember making a sizable contribution.

She looked at it as a kind of penance. A way to give back and atone for all the wrongs she'd done before. And it gave her a thrill at the same time to know she'd bested Cal. He'd moved on, living his own life. She could do the same.

She'd decided after Cal's marriage and her own disastrous attempt at love that it was better to feel nothing than to feel too much. And maybe she was one of those people who weren't meant to love or be loved. Relationships required trust. She wasn't sure she had the capability to trust anyone. She had no desire to get caught up in a game of mistrust and untruths, and the best way to avoid that problem was to not put herself in the situation.

Cal's betrayal—or what she'd seen as his betrayal—had devastated her. He'd thought he'd been doing the right thing. And he had been, the best way he knew how. He'd treated her like a child when she'd wanted him to see her as a woman. As his equal. His mate.

Now, ten years later, those same urges that had formed when she was young were back in full force. She didn't like the fact that her heart didn't seem to care that she didn't trust him. The heart and the mind didn't always agree, and this time the urges of her heart were stronger than her mind.

"You got some sun today," he said, looking at her over his screen. "You should know better by now. You've never been able to tan."

"But I keep on trying," she said, taking a sip of water.

"We've got to talk about earlier," he said, his expression serious.

She froze. She didn't want to talk about the kiss. She hadn't been able to think about anything else, but that didn't mean she wanted to discuss it in minute detail. Or worse, hear about how much he regretted it and that it would never happen again.

"What about earlier?" she asked, a little defensively.

"I know you're irritated at this whole situation," he said. "And I can't say I blame you. I wouldn't take kindly to people barging into my life and keeping me on what is essentially house arrest for an unforeseeable amount of time."

"Oh," she said, taken off guard by a different conversation than what she'd been expecting. She let out a slow breath of relief. "Yeah, well…it doesn't seem like there's much I can do about it."

"You can't do that again," he said. "Don't try to slip past me or any of the agents assigned to protect you. If you want to go to the beach we'll go if there's an all clear. But the best thing we can do is stay inside and wait Taber out. Actually, the best thing we could do is for me to take you to a safe house and not tell anyone where we've gone."

She looked at him closely, trying to figure out why his tone of voice had changed. It was obvious Cal had gotten specific orders to keep her here, and he didn't like it. And then it clicked.

"But if we did that I couldn't draw Taber out into the open," she said, watching the myriad of emotions cross Cal's face.

"Atticus is keeping a bead on Taber," Cal said. "Taber took out a target in Dallas that I've just confirmed was connected to Senator Biddle. Amir was the head of AeroNaut. A big-time government contractor. Senator Biddle was head of the Senate Defense Committee. Atticus says we might have a few days at most before Taber finds time for you in his busy killing schedule."

"So it was Atticus that wanted to use me as bait?" she asked, arching a brow.

Cal hesitated and she knew the truth. She knew her father better than anyone. He loved her, she knew in her soul that he did. But his mission in life had been greater than a wife and daughter. Saving the world wasn't conducive to deep and meaningful relationships. His want for her to be safe versus letting a monster roam free would have been an internal struggle he couldn't have compromised on.

"I see," she said, smiling wryly.

"Evie, your father?—"

"You don't have to explain my father to me," she said, interrupting. "I know him better than anyone and I would've expected no less."

"You're the only one," Cal said under his breath, but loud enough that she could hear him. "Besides, Atticus told him no."

She laughed at that. "Oh, I would've liked to have seen that. Not many people in this world have the guts to tell Robert Lockwood no."

"We'll stay here for a few more days and try to get a bead on Taber. If he slips off the radar then you and I are out of here. We should be getting a couple of extra agents in too."

"I guess it's good we're camped out in this mausoleum instead of my place. There's room for everyone."

"Do you want to come see what I'm doing?" he asked, fingers flying across the keyboard.

"I believe me standing over there violates my probation."

"Evie," he said, rubbing the back of my neck. "I'm a pretty good judge of character. Now you and I both know that I've been watching your online activity over the last decade. And you and I both also know that despite the program I've designed and implemented, someone with your talents could have found a fail-safe and waltzed right through it."

She couldn't help the smirk. It had taken her almost two years to meticulously work through his system without tripping herself up and getting caught. But she'd done it.

"Now what I don't know is what you've been doing with your remarkable talents. So nice job on that front, though I admit I could have found out if I'd wanted. But whatever your sideline hobby is, it must have a more noble outcome than your previous work because I haven't been able to trace you in the underground."

She couldn't help but taunt him a little. "Maybe I just outsmarted you."

"I don't think so," he said, answering her grin. "I've learned in my line of work that sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. I could have countered your workarounds and dug into your life. More than I already have. But I didn't."

"Bully for you," she said, shrugging and walking toward his monitors. "I can't imagine the lack of depth in your life if you could spend ten years digging into my boring day-to-day routine. I think that says more about you than it does about me. Now show me what you're doing before you explode."

He was silent for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. "I had plenty to keep me busy during the last decade. More than I thought I could handle most of the time."

She swallowed painfully, hating to hear the regret in his voice. "I'm sorry about your wife. Dad told me what happened."

"I'm told it's a chance we all take," he said. "Look what happened to Atticus's wife and daughter. Lesson learned." He turned the monitor so she could see and she figured he was done talking about his wife. "The Pentagon has changed some of their security since the last time I got into their system."

She wanted to tell him she knew, but pressed her lips together tighter.

"Senator Biddle and the Defense Committee were taking bids from government contractors for a new missile. It would appear on the surface to be business as usual. Contractors would send their bids to the committee, and then the committee would award the job to whoever could implement the technology and meet the deadline.

"But it didn't take long to realize that the initial proposal to the committee wasn't what would really be delivered. We're talking stealth drones with the capacity to carry a nuclear weapon with enough power to wipe out an area the size of France, Germany, and Spain put together. The contract is worth billions."

"And that's more than enough to kill for," she said. She fought the urge to move closer and read over his shoulder.

"From what I've found John Amir at AeroNaut was the favorite to receive the contract. He and Senator Biddle are friends and allies. They've done several deals in the past."

"Except now they're both dead."

"Right you are," he said.

"So who are the other players?" she asked.

"AeroNaut has the clout, experience, and the design, but Amir was the face and genius of that company. They could move forward without him, but I wouldn't want to do the deal with something that sensitive on the line and no leadership.

"Boulder would be up next," he said. "They're based out of Atlanta. Biddle had a few notes on their submitted designs, but if he has any classified documents they're not digital and I don't have access. Biddle was set to meet with Boulder's acting CEO, Jenson Walker, the day after his murder to go over the contracts. They're in the transition process so they don't have the same stability as a company like AeroNaut.

"Boulder's strength is in its aircraft designs, not necessarily in missiles, but they've secretly brought on some of the best engineers in the nation to help them land the contract. They're keeping everything close to the vest, and I'm still working through their security. It's top notch. Should take me another day before I can get in and see their designs."

She grunted, absorbed in reading the symbols scrolling rapidly across the screen. He'd used a data encryption program that was slowly working its way through Boulder's system like an invisible worm redirecting and rewriting code as it went as a subterfuge. She itched to get her fingers on the keyboard and take it apart to see how he'd created it.

"Am I boring you?" he asked.

"Oh, no," she said. "Just enjoying the beauty of your artwork."

"I think that's the first time you've ever complimented me."

"Don't let it go to your head," she said. "Who's next?"

"DyniCorp."

"Interesting," she said.

"In what way?"

"My father invited me to dinner with a couple of contractors from DyniCorp," she said. "I assumed they were on his most-wanted-bachelor list so I politely declined the invitation."

Cal coughed, but she saw his smile. "They've been a powerhouse in the industry the last five years," he said. "The company was built slowly, taking on smaller projects that could be done well instead of biting off more than they could chew. Their reputation is solid."

"That doesn't mean they don't need the money. There's not a lot of people who wouldn't risk their reputation for a billion-dollar contract. There's a lot of chaos that ensues when someone as important as a senator gets murdered. Depending on what side of the aisle you're sitting on, the blame game will target whoever the opposite side is trying to vilify. The chances of the true responsible party taking the fall for this is slim. It bothers me there's a connection with my father. Maybe that's how they've been keeping tabs."

"It's a good hunch to follow," he said. "I'm in the process of building a secondary program to infiltrate their financials. Whoever they've got on cybersecurity is top notch. I haven't been able to uncover who that is as of yet."

"Which bothers you," she said. "There's something else that bothers you too. I can tell."

"I don't like not knowing who I'm up against," he said. "That's the first issue. The second is that Dynamis Security holds a large percentage of shares in DyniCorp. Atticus is going to be pissed if they're the culprit. That means they'll have played all of us like a masterful game of chess. And I don't particularly like being anyone's pawn."

Something struck her and she hesitated, wondering if she should voice her thoughts aloud.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I think we'd be na?ve not to consider that Atticus could be as involved in this as anyone. He's got the perfect setup and the perfect cover. He could have easily hired Taber and left the crumb trail to each of the victims. These targets are important men with high-level security. They're not easy to kill. But two of them are dead. And what better way for Taber to reach me than for Atticus to have us right where he wants us both."

"I don't know whether I should be impressed or pissed," he said.

"Let's go with impressed," she said. "I've seen far too little of that from you in my lifetime." Her smile was thin and impertinent.

He snorted out a laugh and leaned back in the chair so it stood on two legs. "You're thinking like an agent. That's good. Those instincts will keep you safe. But you don't know Atticus like I do. There are a few people I trust in this world, who I'd lay everything down for and do a job without question. He's one of those people. Atticus is the most solid guy I know. He doesn't flinch, and he doesn't compromise his principles. Not ever."

"Is my father one of those few?" she asked.

Cal opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. At one point in his life he would have said yes. But Robert played the government's game. And that didn't always mean that it was the right game.

Evangeline blew out a breath. "Well that's good to know."

"It would depend on the circumstance," he said. "But he's your father. I don't believe he'd ever intentionally put you in harm's way without a fail-safe."

"So you're my fail-safe?" she asked.

"Among other things," he said. "I'd never put your life at risk, Evie. You've got to trust me on that one. Keeping you alive is the most important job I have, even more than finding out who's behind this. If it came to the point where I had to choose your safety or bring down a company that could potentially ruin my career and what Atticus Cameron has built, guess which I'd choose?"

She went perfectly still, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. She wanted to believe him. Wanted to think that she was that important to him—that he'd risk everything for her safety. Promises of that magnitude were easily broken when push came to shove. Her father had always told her to look out for herself first, because no one else ever would. She had to assume he'd given the same advice to Cal.

"I'm still gathering information at this point," he said. "I'm breaking down the walls at Langley. That won't take as long as breaching the security at Boulder and DyniCorp."

"Sad isn't it?" she asked.

"It doesn't pay to work for the government," Cal said. "I should know. They were lucky to have me, though I didn't exactly have a choice at the time. It's all gone to hell since I left."

"You could still be out on your own," she said. "There's a lot of money on the private side of things."

"Atticus pays me a fortune," he said. "No one is hacking into the systems at Dynamis. Besides, I never have to wear a suit or sit in front of congressional committees. It's in my contract. As far as I'm concerned it's my dream job. And I never would have been a government stooge if I hadn't been indebted to your father. I didn't actually think he was going to let me retire. A lifetime of indentured servitude with mediocre equipment and no vision."

"Something is better than nothing," she said. "I should know."

"Life is what you make it, Evie. The last ten years are what you created. There was still life going on around you even though you chose a different path. You got your kicks in the dark, sipping from an eyedropper when you could have found your courage and fortitude and used your gifts. But you chose to pout for the last ten years and go stale. That's on you. Not on me. But if it makes you feel better to blame me then have at it."

She blew out a breath. What was the point in bringing up the past? "It was a long time ago," she said. "Let's just forget it."

"Fine," Cal said. "We know that Senator Biddle met with Deputy Director Frank Reed the morning of his death in Reed's office. All of those meetings are monitored and recorded. I'm trying to get access to the video."

Cal rubbed his eyes and then ran a hand through his hair. "I could use the help, Evie. This would go a lot faster if we were each working on it."

The laugh that escaped her throat was brittle with emotion. "You know, Cal, through all the years we've known each other, I never realized you have that kind of cruelty in you. So what? I sit down at the computer to help and then all of a sudden you decide to turn me in for what happened a decade ago. I don't trust you."

"Says the woman who was kissing me only a few hours ago."

"Trusting and making out are two very different things. You don't have to have one to get the other. And there's nothing wrong with me kissing you. I enjoyed it. And I assume you did too. We're both adults. And we might as well do something if we're going to be stuck with each other."

He looked at her like she'd grown a second head. "That may be one of the saddest things I've ever heard. You're not really that hard, Evie. Why are you trying to pretend you are?"

"My feelings are my own. I don't owe you anything else. But my future—what there is or isn't of it—is in your hands. So you can see why I'd pass on your very tempting offer to entrap myself."

"You really think I'd do that to you?" She was surprised by the current of anger in his voice and the hardness that came into his eyes.

"I don't know you well enough to know what you would do. But I wouldn't trust you to do any differently. Better to be safe than sorry."

He stood up abruptly, the chair skidding back across the floor, and he came toward her slowly, stalking her like a cat would its prey. He stopped several feet in front of her and she wanted to flinch at the hurt and anger in his face. But that's what he wanted her to see. Cal had spent too long in covert ops. He was a consummate actor.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked.

She wasn't. Had never been afraid of him. And that put her at ease. She hadn't realized how stiff she was.

"I'm not afraid of you. I've been taking care of myself a long time. But I don't know what your game is either. You've never been one to show your hand."

"What good would that do?" he asked. "You might as well wave a white flag in defeat."

"True. And yet here we stand. Knowing an opponent's strengths and weaknesses is essential."

He nodded. "Know thy enemy. Is that what we are, Evangeline? Opponents?"

She didn't realize how different her full name sounded coming from his lips. He'd always called her Evie.

"Being opponents would mean that I care one way or the other," she said, shrugging. "You're just a guy here to protect me on my father's orders. Nothing more. Nothing less."

He moved in close, but she didn't back down. Wouldn't back down. "You can keep lying to yourself, Evie. But you can't lie to me. Your body can't lie to me."

And then he kissed her. It wasn't the same as the kiss they'd shared earlier that morning. This was a kiss that scorched her very soul. She could taste his anger, yes, but there was more beneath the surface. Desire—need—frustration. And a longing so desperate it almost brought her to her knees.

What was happening? When had this happened? She'd loved him since she was a young girl, despite trying to hate him. Was it possible that there could be more between them?

Her fingers pressed hard into the muscles of his arms, and she moaned as his arms came around her and pulled her even closer. The room was spinning and she wasn't sure if she was even drawing a breath any longer. There was just Cal. Everything else ceased to exist.

He pulled away and she fell into him, feeling the void of his touch immediately. His gaze never left hers, his pupils so large she could only see a thin ring of brown at the edges. There was something electric between them. And so many things that had never been spoken. She was wondering how they could ever redeem all that had been lost between them when he threw her a lifeline.

"I've got to get back to work," he said, his voice hoarse. "You're welcome to pull up a stool and help. Either way, stay in the room and away from the windows."

She nodded and he released her, stepping away. She already felt the loss. Then she drew in a deep breath and moved toward the monitor, her blood singing for reasons more than just the kiss.