Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Lothar returned home feeling drained. He had missed Gemma so much since she had left at the party. It had taken him all the courage he could muster to speak to her father. He had looked forward to seeing her again, and she, on the other hand, had seemed completely bored with him. She had reminded him more of Henny than taking his mind away from her.

The fact that Gemma was so different from most women, including Henny, had made him enjoy her company even more. He had felt like such a fool in front of her parents. It was as though they had just met, and the Gemma he knew was a figment of his imagination.

Do I have affection for two women I completely misunderstood? Lothar thought with misery. He arrived home and wanted to rest. He was on his way to his sleeping quarters when his mother called to him.

“Good evening, mother,” Lothar said as he embraced his mother.

“You do not look as pleased as I thought you would be,” Violet said.

“Gemma did not seem to like the fact that I had been there today. She was not at all like I remembered her,” Lothar admitted.

“People are not the same all the time. Perhaps she feels more confident in a less personal setting. Did you speak to her?”

“Only briefly, mother. As I said, she did not seem eager to speak with me,” Lothar bemoaned.

“Is it not possible that you may be reading too much into it? You may be expecting her to be like Henny. You must move on from her for once and for all, Lothar,” Violet said, looking annoyed.

“It has nothing to do with Henny, mother. Gemma is not the woman I thought her to be. I think I have made a terrible mistake. I must, however, bring my side of the arrangements I have made with her father. Likewise, I have agreed to court Gemma for three months,” Lothar explained.

“I am glad to hear it. Now go see her tomorrow and this time listen to her, ask her about how she feels about all this,” Violet said.

“I know that she does not want to get married,” Lothar said.

“Then why did you go see her father, despite knowing that she did not want it?” Violet said with a disapproving tone.

“I figured I could convince her otherwise, but I see now I should have discussed it with her first. Truthfully, Mother, I thought to convince her father to speak on my behalf, get her to allow me to show her what type of husband I would be. Now, it would seem as though I have overstepped,” Lothar said softly.

“Then you should make it up to her. Take her flowers tomorrow and be sure to listen to what she has to say.” Violet offered.

“I brought her flowers today. I will, however, be sure to listen to her more. Mother, how am I going to convince her to marry me?” Lothar asked.

“Why is it that you want to marry her?” Violet answered his question with a question.

“I found her lovely the moment I met her. When I discovered she was unwed, I felt as though fate had given me a second chance. Now I feel as though fate is laughing at my expense,” Lothar said in a sad voice.

“Then you must do everything you can until she is yours. Fight for her, even if that means fighting with her. The answer you gave was the one I was hoping to hear from you. We stand to gain a substantial amount of funds with this arrangement. This mustn't be the only reason you two get married. You must show her the reason you want her as your wife and show her you desire to be with her and not her funds.” Violet said.

“Thank you, Mother. I will do my best. I will do my best. For now, I think I will go rest,” Lothar said as he got up to leave.

“Then you should avoid seeing your sisters. They have been waiting all day to play cards with you,” Violet warned.

Lothar smiled to himself. He knew his mother had mentioned his sisters and their wishes, knowing he could not disappoint them.

“Very well ladies, just one game,” Lothar said as he entered the sitting room nearby. His sisters cheered and came closer to embrace him.

“This will be wonderful,” Colette said as she took the pack of cards from the table behind where she and Charlotte were seated.

“This time, brother, I will be victorious,” Charlotte said jokingly.

“Not likely, dear sister,” Lothar replied, and he took a seat at the table. Colette dealt with the cards and then sat down to examine her cards. Lothar watched their faces. Not one of them knew how to conceal their reactions. Colette looked pleased with herself, whereas Charlotte looked defeated already.

“So how did it go with your new lady love?” Charlotte asked.

“She seemed less herself this afternoon,” Lothar answered truthfully.

“Makes perfect sense, brother,” Charlotte said. She put a card down and took another from the stack on the table. “Who in the right state of mind would want to marry you?” Charlotte teased with a grin.

“Do not try to take my focus from the game,” Lothar said as he struggled to focus.

“That was not very nice, Charlotte,” Colette said, glaring at her.

“Lothar knows I am only teasing him, Colette,” Charlotte said. “If it would make you feel better, I will do so less.” Charlotte offered.

“In truth, Lothar, I do not understand why you are not married yet,” Charlotte said.

“I had not found the right woman yet,” Lothar replied.

“What about Henny?” Colette asked.

“She married another,” Lothar said, leaving the part about her husband having passed and that he could have married her. Additionally, she did not want to marry him.

What is so defective in me that no woman would want me? Lothar thought as he waited for his sisters to each take a turn.

“So what are you going to do now?” Charlotte asked.

“I am going to fight for her,” Lothar declared and felt happy saying the words out loud.

“I did not know you were so romantic, brother,” Charlotte said.

“There is much you do not know about me, dear sister,” Lothar said. “Like the fact that I have all aces.”

“Oh, you have got to be joking!” Charlotte exclaimed.

“Sorry dears, I have a few years more experience than you have with card games,” Lothar said, as he got up to find someone to bring them tea. He felt parched after having more alcohol than he was used to having in the morning. Lothar had wondered if it had not been Mr. Castwell's plan to make him intoxicated.

He felt a slight headache start and hoped the tea would help ease the pain. Once the tray had been brought in, and he had finally eaten something for the day, Lothar started to feel better. He still felt too tired to go anywhere but to his bed. As tired as he felt, he could only manage to lay awake with his eyes closed. After no further progress was made, Lothar decided to rather go for a walk.

Perhaps that had been the reason Henny had laughed at me. She had known that Gemma would not marry him or any man for that matter. Lothar thought as he dragged his body out into their gardens.

He thought back to how the gardens had looked at the Castwell residence. His grounds looked more like a desert than the lush park he had been in today. He knew the funds from the Castwells could do wonders for his estate. He wondered, though, if the price was a bit too high.

To sacrifice any chance of being with someone you loved was a condition he was not sure if he could adhere to. It mattered to him whether his wife loved him and was happy.

Perhaps my mother has a better grasp of the situation. Perhaps Gemma had been displeased as she had already told me that she did not want to get married . I will go to her and discuss the matter with her.

Lothar was deeply in thought and did not look where he was going. He walked following footpaths but did not look where they led. When Lothar did look up, he saw that he had arrived at his uncle's grave. The tombstone was made from marble, and it had a fence that surrounded it.

“What was your idea about leaving this place to me, uncle? I have no money, and this place is falling apart. There is a woman who can help us, but that is not the only reason I wish to marry her. I had thought that we might be cut from the same cloth. It turns out we are not even the same fabric,” Lothar spoke his thoughts aloud. He knew he would not get an answer. If he did, then he might need a burial of his own.

If only it were this easy to talk to her. I thought it had been until this morning. Lothar thought as he turned back to make his way back home. He then decided to walk to Gemma’s. If he started to walk, then he would make it in time for tea, he hoped. It had been years since Lothar had walked a long distance.

As children, it had not been uncommon to go to neighbors in closely situated towns and villages. Lothar felt a sense of freedom as he made his way to his new destination. He had made up his mind that he would find a way to make Gemma his wife. There would now be nothing and no person that would stand in his way.

The seasons had begun to change, and the sun was not as hot as it used to be. Lothar found that despite the chill in the air, he felt overheated. He wished that he had brought something to drink as his mouth had become as dry as cotton. He was hardly an hour into his walk, and he felt tired.

Come on, old man. Lothar berated himself. You used to be able to walk for days!

Lothar kept walking. He enjoyed being out in nature. He had been that way since his childhood. His parents had a difficult time getting him inside every day after playing outside. He still felt stifled if he had to sit indoors for extended periods. He looked around at the farmlands that bordered his land.

If only Gemma would allow me to show her how great we could be together.

Lothar started to see the town in the distance. He found a spring in his step, knowing he would only have to go through that town to the other side, and he would be with Gemma.

She could not have been acting when we met, could she? Lothar wondered as he got closer to the edge of town. He noticed more and more people around him. Soon, he would be in the town center and would be able to find a way out through the northern gate. Lothar was just about to leave the most crowded area when he almost stepped on a stray dog’s tail.

“I do apologize, little fellow. Are you a fellow?” Lothar said as he went down slowly to pick the dog up into his arms. He inspected the dog and saw that he was, in fact, a fellow and in good health.

Lothar scratched him behind his floppy ears. He was a mutt, and yet, Lothar could not leave the animal to fend for itself, even if the dog had done well for itself this far. He kept the dog in his arms and hoped that Gemma might take more of an interest in this gift than she had with the flowers. Lothar walked away slowly in case the owner was nearby.

When he was certain he was not simply stealing the dog, he made the last part of his journey to meet Gemma for tea. He felt confident with his plan and would not deviate from it.

He would find a way to help her understand his perspective and, of course, be open to hers. Likewise, he wanted a woman to share his life with and not just be there to cook and clean. Furthermore, he had no idea how some men could treat their wives as though they were just helping.

Perhaps I had given her the impression that I was not myself today as well. Had I given her a reason to believe I am like all the other men, that I am untrustworthy? Something has changed since I had seen her last. I have to find out what has happened and find a way around it.

Lothar put the dog down to see if the little guy needed to relieve himself. Lothar watched the dog. He did not know if Gemma liked dogs. He may have to travel back with him. Lothar’s legs started to feel as heavy as lead. He was relieved when he saw that it was only a few more miles ahead. Soon Gemma’s house came into view. Its opulence could be seen from a distance away.

Lothar noticed there was a carriage that had stopped in front of the Castwell’s estate. It could be anyone, yet his mind went to if it could be another suitor.

Perhaps that is the reason she was different towards him. Perhaps she had found someone new. Well, I am about to find out. The man had better be ready to fight then, Lothar thought as he approached the Castwell’s estate.

Lothar found it a new sensation to be this jealous. It was his fate after he had mocked his cousins and the jealousy they constantly felt with their wives. It was no way to live, though he now started to understand how it felt when you found someone you care about, truly care about.

He had thought he had cared about Henny, and she had not even blinked when he had announced he would marry another. Now, he felt as though the same would happen with Gemma. That he was already of little interest to her. Lothar turned around and made his way back home. He decided that his romantic gesture would have to wait until the next day.

Well the walk was not a complete waste. Lothar thought as he shifted the puppy’s weight in his arms. I found this beautiful dog that will find a home with me or with Gemma. Hopefully both of us together.