Chapter 7

When the sunsinks low in the windows, I take a deep, steadying breath and exit my bedchamber. My mind still reels with memories of Jasce, but I know my sisters will be expecting me for the evening meal.

The stone walls blur together as I navigate the familiar path to the Great Hall. When I finally enter the room, the low murmur of conversation falls away.

Emerin looks up from her plate and greets me with a warm, reassuring smile that eases some of the tightness in my chest.

"There you are, Rora" she says. "We were starting to wonder where you'd disappeared to."

"I just needed a moment to myself," I say as I return her smile.

Emerin nods understandingly and gestures for me to sit beside her. I settle into the chair, my gaze drifting over the spread of food before us. Succulent roasted meats, crisp vegetables, and freshly baked bread fill the table, but my appetite seems to have vanished.

I pick at a piece of bread, tearing off small chunks and popping them into my mouth.

Tahira leans forward, her brows furrowed in concern. "Are you feeling all right? You look a bit flushed."

Flushed? That word cannot begin to describe the way Jasce's heat lingers on my skin.

I nod and reach for my goblet of wine. "I'm all right."

As I sip the wine, my thoughts drift back to Jasce again. I shift in my seat, trying to push the memories aside and focus on the conversation around me. But it's no use. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face. Every time there's a lull in the chatter, I hear his voice whispering in my ear. It's as if he's imprinted himself on my very soul, and I don't know how to break free.

I force myself to take a bite of roasted chicken, but even as I chew, my mind is far away, lost in the memory of Jasce's embrace.

Asha leans across the table and holds out a package toward me. "I got this for your birthday. It just took me longer than I anticipated to find it."

I reach out and take the package from Asha, feeling the weight of it in my hands. It's heavy, but not too heavy, and it's wrapped in a soft material.

Her eyes crinkle at the corners as she smiles at me. "Open it."

I carefully untie the ribbon and peel back the wrapping, revealing a leather-bound book. My breath hitches as I run my fingers over the cover, tracing the intricate designs etched into the supple leather.

As I open the book, the scent of parchment and ink wafts up to greet me. The pages are thick and smooth, the edges gilded in gold. When I flip through the parchment, I realize it's a collection of my favorite poems, the ones I've read and reread countless times.

But this copy is different. It's special. The illustrations are hand drawn, the colors vibrant and alive.

I look up at Asha, tears stinging my eyes. "It's beautiful." Emotions thicken my voice as I continue. "Thank you."

"I know how much you love those poems. I wanted you to have a copy that is as special as you are."

"Oh, Ash." I swallow through the guilt.

How can she be so wonderful to me after what I did earlier? I kissed her enemy in this very fortress, welcomed his touch, encouraged it. And now, Asha sits here, smiling at me and giving me presents I don't deserve.

I clutch the book to my chest. "I will cherish it forever."

Shame gnaws at my insides as I try to focus on the meal. Each bite of food turns to grit in my mouth, and the wine tastes sour on my tongue.

I glance up at Asha, at the love and affection shining in her eyes, and my heart twists painfully. She has no idea what I've done, the betrayal I've committed.

If she knew, would she still look at me with such warmth and tenderness? Would she still want to call me her sister?

I excuse myself from the table, mumbling that I need fresh air. Asha's concerned gaze follows me as I leave the room, but I can't bring myself to meet her eyes. I'm afraid of what she might see there.

As I step out into the cool night air, I take a deep breath, trying to clear my head.

It doesn't work.

Jasce is there, in every thought, every heartbeat, every breath. And I know, with certainty, that I won't be able to stay away from him, no matter how hard I try.