Chapter 4

Asha smilesat me and steps into the room. "I thought we could talk now that Emerin and Tahira have retired for the night."

I nod and move to my bed. Asha follows me and sits next to me on the feather mattress.

"I love you, Rora," she starts, her voice laced with a tenderness that makes my heart swell. "I only want what's best for you."

She reaches out and clasps my hand in hers, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"I love you too, Ash." I tighten my grip, wishing we could go back to when we were younger. Before our father left and our mother started consuming that vile flower.

Things were different then.

Asha was different.

I was different.

"And I've been thinking," she continues, "you should consider marrying someone from our house."

Knots form in my throat as I imagine a faceless man from our house standing at the altar, waiting for me. Instantly, my mind rebels, painting instead the image of Jasce.

Asha would never understand or allow me to marry Jasce. Nor can I explain that no other man could inhabit my thoughts when he's already claimed every corner of them.

"If you marry, it might help you stop thinking about him." She says ‘him' with a bitter edge, as if the very idea of Jasce is poison against her tongue, a venom she can't seem to expel no matter how hard she tries.

She doesn't understand. How could she? But I know arguing will only strengthen her resolve. So, I offer her the response she seeks, even as my heart silently refutes it. "I'll think about it."

"I want you to do more than think about it. You are the second eldest. It is your duty to help strengthen our house. Isn't that what you want?"

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat nearly choking me. The only thing I want is Jasce, but I know confessing that truth will only deepen Asha's frown lines.

"Rora," Asha says, her voice heavy with impatience. "Don't you want what is best for our people? For our house?"

"Yes, of course I do." I drop my eyes, unable to meet her scrutinizing stare.

"Then you will marry a man that will help strengthen us," she says, her words like a prison door clanging shut on my future, my dreams, my heart.

She stands after a moment and brushes the wrinkles from her nightdress with brisk, efficient movements. "I will introduce you to him soon. He is a good match, Annora. You will see that in time." She pauses, her expression softening slightly as she takes in my hunched shoulders and downcast eyes. "As for now, try to rest."

She squeezes my shoulder before she turns and strides from my bedchamber. As soon as the door closes with a soft thud, I allow my gaze to drift to the window. I imagine Jasce standing there and glaring at the thought of me marrying another man.

I rise from my bed, then move toward the window. How can I possibly entertain thoughts of another man when Jasce's presence lingers so strongly in my heart? It feels like a betrayal of the connection we share.

With a heavy sigh, I sink to the window seat. Asha would have me marry for duty, to secure alliances and strengthen our house's position. Yet, my heart yearns for something more profound, something that goes beyond political maneuvering and strategic unions.

I want love, pure and unconditional. I want a partnership built on mutual respect, understanding, and unwavering devotion. The thought of settling for anything less leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and a hollow ache in my chest.

As I settle in bed a short while later, I lie awake, thinking about everything Asha said, but mostly I think about Jasce and his promise to come back for me.