46. Follow Him Anywhere

forty-six

Follow Him Anywhere

Alessia

A fter composing myself, I bathe and change into a soft, simple dress. It falls to my knees and has a modest neckline. It’s reminiscent of a nightgown save for the light pink color and little roses sewn onto the thin straps. After pulling an all-nighter, I can’t wait to crawl into bed. But first, I need to speak with Sera.

I quickly locate her in the apothecary. Candlelight flickers, highlighting Sera's profile as she crushes herbs with her mortar and pestle. The herbs smell floral and a touch spicy. She wears a deep, forest-green dress with moss around the hem and a plunging neckline. Her braids are tied back in a neat bun decorated with small twigs and leaves.

I smile at the sight, preferring to see her in her element like this rather than as the facade she put on in Terra Court.

“Hey,” she says softly, forcing a smile. Her usually spirited eyes are dull, her shoulders slumped. She wipes her hands on a rag and turns to me, leaning her hip against the table in the center of the room.

"How is he?"

"Not well, Alessia." Her tone is severe, but even so, I perk up at her words as she confirms my hopes. "But he's alive."

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to keep the emotion at bay. "Thank the gods. Is he awake?" She's silent for far too long. My eyes flick back open and lock onto her. "What is it?"

She clears her throat and inhales slowly. "He's on a nasogastric tube right now."

"What does that mean?"

"He's not waking up." She shakes her head. "It's a tube that goes through his nose, down to his stomach, feeding him the blood he needs since he can't drink it on his own."

"When will he wake up?" I whisper, knowing it's a stupid question.

Sighing, she grips the counter and hangs her head. "I don't know, but the longer he's unconscious, the more unlikely his chances are. We're just lucky I had that barrel of blood on hand."

"And what if it runs out?"

She sets her jaw and gives me a hard look. "It won't. We won't let it."

I nod in solidarity. "He needs to survive, Sera." His death will destroy Rainer. It'll destroy me . He only went to Dovenak to help me, after all.

“You have one win today—you retrieved the iron. Let's focus on that.”

“Well…” I sigh exasperatedly. “Not exactly.”

Her brows draw down. “Oh?”

“It’s a long story.”

“You say that as if I don’t have all the time in the world.” She forces a laugh, but it's stilted. Gesturing to the rows of dried herbs lying before her, she says, “It’ll take me hours to crush all this, and I could use a distraction, so…”

“What’re you making?” I squint. “And why did Ez need you so badly?”

“The first was a synthetic drug for Fern—if she faces withdrawals, it’s not only her life on the line anymore.” Her face shutters, and she glances down, toying with a bundle of lavender. “He also needed me to make a potion for Yvanthia.”

“I thought you didn’t like the queen?”

Sera smirks. “I don’t.” She reaches for a small amber vial with a dropper and holds it up. “It’s to kill her libido.”

My confusion must show because Sera’s smile fades, and she scrunches her nose.

“It’s not my place to share details, but Yvanthia enjoys Ez.” A dark shadow crosses her features. “He tolerates her since he’s used to the price of his magic. But now that he’s found his bonded…” Her voice cracks, and she sets the vial down.

Sympathy swells inside of me. “He doesn’t want to engage with the queen anymore.”

Sera nods, gripping the counter. “But if he rejects her, she will know something is amiss, so I created something to stifle her desire.”

A heavy weight settles in my stomach as I realize what it all means—the sacrifices Ez has made to help us and use his magic so freely. I’ve seen those flickers of unease underneath his good-natured demeanor. My mouth floods with a bitter taste, and I hate the queen even more.

Now that Ez has found his bonded… well, no wonder he’s so thrilled. Except that Fern doesn’t seem to share his joy. Another wave of pity washes over me. The Aer Prince can’t catch a break .

“I thought Yvanthia had wards up to prevent magic?” I ask, redirecting the conversation away from the discomfort of Ez’s truths. “How can you use a potion on her?”

“It’s alchemy,” Sera explains. “It works a little differently than soul magic, since it’s a creation rather than a part of me.”

“Why not just poison her then?”

Sera lets out a bitter laugh. “She has poison tasters. It would never reach her, and even if it did, who do you think would be blamed? Ez is the only one allowed close to her while still having the freedom to come and go.”

“Because of their bond,” I surmise. “She’s complacent in thinking he’ll protect her or else he’ll die alongside her.”

“And that is what we’re using to our advantage.”

“So you’ll still help him, even though he’s… bonded?”

“Of course I’m still going to help him!” She smiles sadly. “He’s my best friend, and he deserves happiness. Even at the cost of my heartbreak.”

“Did you tell him how you feel?” I ask softly. “I might’ve, uh, spilled the beans when he visited me the other day.”

Her lips tighten, and she glances away, a stoic look working its way onto her face. “He asked me, but I couldn’t tell him the truth, Alessia. There’s no point. Not now.”

“But Fern doesn’t even like—”

“I won’t interfere with a soul -bond,” she says quickly. “Especially not a consummated one. Absolutely not. It’s best to let it go.” The hardness in her voice punctuates her words, and I nod numbly, letting it drop .

Perhaps Sera is a better female than me because I don’t know if I could give Rainer up in the same situation. Then again, it’s not the same situation because Rainer is my soul-bond.

And Ezamae can never be hers.

I place a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “I’m here for you. If you need a friend.”

Her eyes shoot to mine, and she nods almost imperceptibly. “There’s a good chance I might.”

“Well, that makes two of us.”

She exhales a short laugh, and we share a comfortable silence. Afterward, I tell her about Enid and the sorceress she knows, who can help her with the iron.

“What’s their name?” Sera asks curiously.

I shake my head. “Enid didn’t say.”

Sera hmms to herself, but she shrugs. “There’s not many of us left.”

“I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” I study her as she works, plucking the flowers off a bushel I don’t recognize. “How are you doing? Really?”

She purses her lips, blinking slowly as she tilts her head up. “How do you think?”

I shake my head. “I think you present as strong and unbothered but that you’re hurting inside.”

“I am hurting, Alessia.” She turns to me, pain etched into her face. “I’m in love with my best friend, and he’s bonded to someone else.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.

She laughs, but it’s dry and full of hurt. “Not really. Like I said, there’s not much to it.”

A masculine cough comes from the doorway and both of our heads shoot up. Ken stands there stroking his beard, a cocky smile on his lips. His dark brown eyes are latched on Sera, and there’s a definite spark of interest there.

“There ya are, little demon and little witch.”

“I’m a sorceress , not a witch.” Sera rolls her eyes, but her lips twitch with a small smile.

“Same thing, no?”

She pauses, setting down her tools and planting a hand on her hip. “That’s like calling you a walrus.”

Ken snorts. “I’m a bear.”

“Exactly,” Sera says, staring him down.

Ken hovers awkwardly, as if he's unsure of what to say. It's rare to see him without his confident swagger. "How's Tynan?"

Sera groans, throwing her arms up. "He needs rest and blood. I'm doing everything I can for him."

"I know you are. I just—" Ken huffs, scratching the back of his head. "I want to help you, Sera."

My gaze ping-pongs between the two of them, and I come up with an idea. “Ken, I think Sera could use a break. Fresh air. How about you take her for a ride?” Ken gives me a toothy smile. The tension immediately lightens in the room. I can practically hear the dirty retort before he even makes it, so I cut him off. “In bear form. Through the woods.”

Sera gives me a pointed look. “I’d almost rather the other kind of ride at this point,” she mutters quietly. “Might help me get over—”

“He can hear you,” I hiss back, pointing to my ear.

Sera sizes him up, shrugging. “Let’s go, bear.” She strides past him out the door, wagging a finger for him to follow. "There's not much we can do around here right now anyway."

Ken glances at the ceiling, muttering something. Then, he turns his smile on me and gives me an exaggerated double thumbs up. Spinning quickly, he darts after Sera.

I glance at the mess on the table, shaking my head with a laugh. Even after all the shite that’s happened, the fae have a beautiful ability to find joy in small moments. They rebound well from even the worst of life’s disruptions.

Desperate for fresh air myself, I head above ground. The brightness makes me squint. With the adrenaline gone and the exhaustion creeping in, the sun intensifies the pain in my eyes.

I’ve spent weeks in my court alone, but after being back in the world and in my friend’s lives again, I find it harder to appreciate the underground space. Many of my friends might be in my court right now, but how long will that last? How long are they staying?

Worse, Rainer will return to his court—the thought of having a whole forest between us stings.

“Little rose blooming beneath the sun,” my favorite voice says. “I was about to come find you.”

I whirl around. Rainer stands a few paces away with his back against a tree. His ankles are crossed, and his hands are stuffed in his pockets. He tilts his head, taking me in with a soft expression .

My pulse quickens, and a warmth seeps through my body. I take a quick inventory of the bond and find a calmness there. There is no anger, no remorse, and only a tiny glimmer of pain.

He kicks off the tree and striding toward me. The pain pulsing down the bond intensifies. “Life has a funny way of taking everything from us.”

“Not everything,” I say, reaching for his hand.

“No,” he whispers back. Slowly, the hurt shooting down his side of the bond subsides, and tranquility returns to our invisible connection. “Sometimes it gives us the most beautiful gifts, too.”

“I’m glad we didn’t wait any longer. Even fae lives can be much too short, Rainer, and I want to spend every second with you.” I suck in a deep breath, preparing for what I’m going to say next. “I want to come live with you—at Umbra Court.”

Surprise flashes across his face, and his spine becomes rigid. Slowly, a smile curves upward until his dimple pops out. “You mean it?”

I nod.

He pulls back abruptly, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t let you, Alessia. After everything, I won’t let you give up your court.”

My own smile blooms. “I’m not going to. That’s the thing. I want to use Spiritus Court to create a sanctuary for fae—and humans—who need a safe, clean space to live or recover.” Perhaps that was another seed Char planted in my mind all that time ago when she mentioned the rumor of a sanctuary in Avylon. Maybe I was the one meant to create such a space. I blow out an exhale. “I’m not prepared to run a proper court, anyway. This way, the court will be lived in, and I can ensure I’m serving the land, but I can still be with you .”

His eyes soften as he studies me. “You’d have to return often…”

“The curse on the woods will soon be broken. I can learn to ride a horse properly.”

He tilts his head up, gazing at the clear blue skies. “There’s better sun here.”

“I won’t see it below ground anyway,” I retort.

“We could build above ground, give you a bright space to—”

“Too much work.” I step toward him, quirking an eyebrow. “Or is this your way to try and convince me not to stay with you?”

He shakes his head, whipping his gaze to mine. “I don’t want you to make any more sacrifices for me, mo róisín.”

I can’t help but laugh. “That’s what love is—sacrifice. It’s finding a balance between honoring your own needs and selflessly caring for your partner. This is a sacrifice I can make. It feels right.”

He shoves his fingers into his hair, pushing it off his forehead. I reach for his hand and grab it. He lets me pull his hand away and then faces me fully.

“You are my home,” he says. “Wherever you are, I will be. Wherever you go, I will follow. Whether it’s here or Umbra Court, or both.” His face lights up. “We will reside in both courts. Deal?”

I chuckle, swatting at his chest. “I’m not making any more deals.”

He grabs my hand, tugging me to his body. “If you think about it, our relationship started with a bond—”

“And it will end with a bond, too,” I finish, realizing the poetic irony of the situation.

“Who said anything about ending?” He scoffs playfully. “We’re just getting started.” Leaning his head down, he plants a chaste kiss on my lips. Then, he hovers there and whispers, “Follow me.”

When he turns and strides into the trees, I obey without question.

Our loyalty is mutual, and I will also follow him anywhere.