Chapter Twenty-Six

Larissa

I stared at the brand on Caspian's hand—one heart with three smaller ones below it. The knife clattered to the floor. I reached toward my neck, and then my gaze moved to Caspian's eyes.

Ezra and Jude came to the clubhouse. Ezra spoke quietly into his phone before slipping it back into his pocket.

Memories flooded my mind, including the day they gave me the necklace. Jude had fastened it around my neck. They told me I would always have their hearts, and I felt so much love from them.

My brow wrinkled. I reached up to touch my neck, but the necklace was gone. He'd taken it away from me, then laughed and said I didn't need it anymore.

My words stumbled out at first, then grew stronger. "He took my necklace away from me that night. He said something about it being proof." My head began to pound, but I ignored it. I wanted to know the truth. "I remember someone stuck a needle in my arm, and then I was swallowed by darkness. The last words he said to me was that he would make me kill the three of you. I remember thinking that was ridiculous. I would never harm my guys."

That's how I always thought of them. My guys. No one else. I'd silently vowed if another woman even looked at them, I would destroy her. I wasn't sure exactly what I would've done. Maybe written her an ugly note or something. I had been so innocent back then. That quickly changed after Amon kidnapped me.

My head pounded but I ignored the pain and continued talking.

"He had a plane. Every time I would wake up, they would put a needle in my arm. But then that stopped, and the fog surrounding me slowly disappeared. Once we reached his crumbling castle, he put me in a cage." Cold chills rippled over me as I remembered how terrified I'd been. I took a deep breath and continued. "He took my clothes away, and chopped off all my hair. I'd never been naked in front of anyone. My cage was over a drain." A shudder of disgust washed over me. "He wouldn't even let me out to use the restroom."

I closed my eyes tightly against the shame I felt at not being able to use a bathroom. I knew now what he was doing, breaking my will. I swiped at the tear running down my cheek.

"He gave me some tasteless mush to eat. I ate it because I knew everyone would come looking for me. I had to stay strong for when the time came to escape." I sucked back a sob. "But you never came."

"We thought you were dead," Jude said, but I continued talking. I knew I had to wash away what he did to me, and the only way I could was to talk it out.

"Later, he added chunks of meat to my food. If I refused to do what he told me to do, I would be punished. After weeks of this treatment, he began to add new tortures. He would put me in the room with Bernard, and I would have to fight him. I usually came away with more bruises than I gave. I got pretty good at fighting, though."

My gaze moved to Caspian, Jude, and Ezra. They were letting me talk, and I was thankful for that. I needed to get it all out now, or I might be unable to.

"He made me watch videos. Now I know they weren't real. I'm not sure how he created them, but he did. The three of you were raping and killing women and children. It was horrible. Then he pumped drugs into my body, and shocked me, until I believed everything he was saying. It got to the point where I would do anything he asked without question."

I looked at Ezra and smiled. "I remember you wanted me to go parachuting with you once. As soon as Caspian and Jude heard what you were planning, they quickly put a stop to it. I admit, I had been a little nervous about jumping out of a plane. I would've gone anywhere and done anything you asked, though. Any one of you, for that matter. I was so in love with the three of you."

I closed my eyes as all my memories returned full force. I let everything sink in for a moment, then drew in a deep breath and continued.

"He forced me to watch videos on cliff diving. The ones where you jump off a cliff and go so far before you open your chute. On the video, they called it base jumping. After a few weeks of watching the videos, he took me to the top of the castle, attached a chute to my back, then pushed me off.

I was terrified, but I opened it at the last moment. I still got bruises and scrapes, and I twisted my ankle, but I survived. I got to where I loved flying through the air. I could make it almost to the woods. It was only a few trees, but it made me feel free, and nothing could hurt me. Once I landed and started walking away from the castle. I wondered what would happen if I never went back. I didn't get far before he started that horrible screeching in my ears. Every step I took away from him, the noise in my ears became louder until I had to turn around and return."

I looked at Caspian, then reached up and felt my ears.

"We had the doctor come and remove those."

I nodded. "Good. They gave me horrible headaches. He didn't hurt me like that as long as I obeyed him. He had me accepting everything he said about you. I began to believe he saved me from a horrible death." My eyes widened as my gaze jerked to Jude. "Oh my God, I tried to kill you. Oh my God!"

My legs grew weak. I knew they weren't going to hold me any longer. Before I could hit the floor, Caspian scooped me in his arms and carried me to the sofa. When he sat down, I was still cradled in his arms. He held me close. I could hear the beating of his heart.

"How you three must hate me."

"We could never hate you," Jude said as he brushed my hair away from my face, sitting on the sofa beside us. "Not when we love you so much."

"We'll kill the man who took you and then hurt you," Ezra promised as he sat on the other side, lightly caressing my arm.

"No one will ever hurt you again," Caspian vowed.

"Oh my God, my father. He must be so hurt. He had me believing that my father abused me. More lies. When I saw my father today, I was terrified. But then I began to look through the photo album he'd brought. I couldn't reach all the memories of my past, but the album brought everything forward."

Memories had been coming at me with lightning speed. I'd been confused and terrified.

"When I ran from the house, it was as if I was trying to find myself. Somehow, I ended up at the clubhouse. I thought if I killed myself, then the pounding in my head would finally end. But you came after me. I was going to slice open my throat, but then you held up your hands, and I saw the imprint of my necklace, and everything came rushing back."

"I'm glad it did." Caspian squeezed me a little tighter.

A shudder rippled down my spine. "He'll be furious. We have to stop him."

"We will," Ezra said.

I ran my hand down Caspian's face, then brushed my fingers across his lips. "I always wanted you to kiss me. All three of you. Is it wrong that I love all three of you? I don't want to be with anyone else, and I don't want to choose between you."

"Good," Caspian said. "We were always afraid of who you might pick. You've never had to. You have all our hearts." He lowered his mouth, his lips brushing across mine, and then it deepened into a kiss.

I knew this was what I had always wanted—until Amon brainwashed me and took away what I needed most. Caspian's kiss set me on fire. I needed him. I needed more. When the kiss ended, I sat up.

"Take me," I said. "Make me yours." It was the only way I could stamp out what Amon did to me.

Caspian shook his head. "It's too soon."

"It's not soon enough," I argued. I'd wanted them that night, but Amon had stolen that time from me. No more!

"I'm not sure how safe it is at the clubhouse for you," Ezra said.

"You're right. But I'm not going to wait any longer."

We didn't speak as we went back up to the house.

"I'll make sure the security on the house is back in order. Jude, stay and help me," Ezra said.

I knew what they were doing. Caspian was the firstborn. It was only right that he be my first. We made our way up the stairs, but we passed my room and went to Caspian's. He pulled the gun out of the back of his jeans and put it on the bedside table, switching on the light so that a dim glow reached all but the corners of the room.

Without looking at me, he repeated what he said earlier. "You don't have to do this. We've always loved you, and we always will. We can wait. You've had a lot happen tonight, and maybe you're not thinking straight."

When he turned around, I reached down and took the hem of my nightgown, pulling it over my head and tossing it away. I stood in front of him, completely naked, completely unashamed of my body.

"But I don't want to wait another second."

"Fuck, you're beautiful."

"I used to think that of the three of you, before he took me. I wanted each one of you. Every night, images of the three of you filled my dreams. I had to take a lot of cold showers back then." I frowned. "They never worked. I was still hot and bothered."

"Did he…were you?"

I shook my head. "There was an explosion. His father was killed. Amon was leaving the warehouse. It damaged him so that he would never be able to have sex again. He drags one leg behind him and has burn scars on his body. Because he couldn't have me, he wouldn't let anyone else touch me. Most of the time, he kept me naked. I think he liked looking at my body, even though it frustrated him more."

"I'll be gentle," Caspian promised.

As all my memories returned, so did my needs, and right now, I needed him to make the past go away as if the last five years hadn't happened. Tomorrow, I would face reality.

"Gentle was the innocent Larissa. I don't want gentle. I want you to make me feel whole again. Make me forget the killing machine he tried to create. Make me yours."

Caspian kicked off his shoes, unfastened his jeans, and pulled them down. He kicked them out of the way as soon as they hit the floor. For the first time in my life, I was looking at a naked man, and this one was beautiful, as if he'd been sculpted: defined muscles, a massive chest and forearms, six-pack abs, and a thick cock that made my pussy ache to have him buried inside me.

I walked closer, stopping in front of him. I smoothed my fingers over his shoulders and down the bulging muscles of his arms. He was magnificent, beautiful. A chiseled piece of art that lived and breathed. I brought my hands down his chest, over his nipples. They immediately tightened beneath my touch. It was amazing how they reacted so quickly. I counted each ridge of his abs: tight, firm, strong.

I took one step back, staring at his massive cock. I couldn't stop myself from running my thumb over the velvety tip. I rubbed the moisture between my thumb and forefinger. I realized even though I was innocent, I wasn't shy. Maybe being naked most of the time removed any timidity that I might have had. I'd been gone a long time. And now I wanted so much all at once.

I ran my fingers up and down his cock. I couldn't help but wonder if it would fit inside me. I was definitely willing to give it a try. I raised my gaze to his face again to see if touching him was okay. He wore a pained expression.

Fear washed over me. Was I doing something wrong? What if he didn't like it? My confidence fled.

"Is it okay that I touch you?"

"It's okay, but I only have one problem."

"What's that?"

"I've wanted you for a long time. It's all I can do to keep holding back."

I immediately relaxed. "Then don't. Make me yours."

I'd gone to a slumber party one night when I was about fourteen. After the parents went to bed, one of the girls started a movie, giggling the whole time. It was pretty graphic. I knew exactly what was about to happen, but I wasn't prepared for making love with Caspian. I should've known it would be different.

He picked me up and carried me to the bed, and laid me in the middle. When he moved up beside me, I wondered if he would take me now, but he turned on his side and cupped my breast. At first, he just massaged it, but it started a warmth deep down inside. When he pulled on the nipple, I gasped.

"Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No, it made be hot down there."

"Down here?" He ran his fingers through my curls and then teased the fleshy part of my sex.

"Yes, and you're making me even hotter."

"I want to make sure you're ready for me."

"I like what you're doing," I admitted. I didn't want there to be any secrets between us.

He leaned forward, taking my other breast in his mouth and scraping his teeth across the tight nipple. I think I moaned or something. His fingers continued to play with me down there. I felt as if I was on fire. My hips raised off the bed. I needed something, but I didn't know what.

Caspian moved between my legs, and I thought, this is it. Now he'll make me his, but he lowered his face between my legs and began to lick and nibble, sucking me inside his mouth. I cried out, my hips lifting from the bed. He put his hands under my bottom, bringing me even closer to his hungry mouth.

His tongue worked magic on my pussy, but then he slipped a finger inside me and began to move it in, then out. I gasped, pulling at the cover, fisting it as I came closer and closer. He raised, and our eyes met, and he continued to pump his finger in and out. I took one ragged breath after another.

"Caspian," I moaned.

I was getting closer and closer to something I couldn't name.

Then it happened. My body began to quiver as waves and waves of sweet heat washed over me. He lowered his head and continued to lick and suck until my body relaxed back against the bed.

"I'm not a virgin anymore," I finally said after I could catch my breath.

He chuckled. "Not quite."

His cock nudged my opening, and then he slowly began to enter me. I could feel my body stretching, opening for him. He nudged against the barrier. I grit my teeth.

"It'll only hurt for a moment."

His expression looked worried.

"I want this, and I trust you," I reiterated. "Make me yours."

Still, he entered me slowly. The fires had begun to burn hotter inside me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he sank in all the way. He drew in a sharp breath, groaning. I knew I had given him as much pleasure as he'd given me.

He didn't move, as he let me get used to him. When I wiggled against him, only then did he slowly begin to raise and lower his hips, stroking my channel. In and out, in and out. Warmth flowed over me like waves of liquid heat. I met him thrust for thrust.

Our ragged breathing filled the room.

I rolled my hips.

He drew in a sharp breath, then tucked his hand beneath my ass.

In and out.

Harder.

Faster.

The friction was erotic and intense.

I gasped as the flames of passion engulfed me again. I opened my eyes and could see the stars above me. I reached up, trying to grab one, but they slowly fell to earth, dissolving as they came toward me.

He had taken me to heaven.

I smiled.

Something close to a growl came from him. I looked at his expression as he came. It was beautiful. It was magnificent. He was mine forever. But then, I think he always was, just as I was theirs.

He dropped down to me, then rolled to the side, taking me with him.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you too much, did I?" He looked worried.

I shook my head, smiling. "Not at all. I loved every second of it. I need to shower, though."

He smiled, and the beat of my heart went into overdrive. "There's nothing like taking a shower together."

I loved the possibilities his idea brought. Rather than have sex again, he gently washed me. I was disappointed but understood when he explained his reasoning.

"You were a virgin. Too much, and you won't be able to walk tomorrow."

Except that made me wonder about something. "You weren't a virgin, though."

He shook his head. "I lost mine when I was fourteen."

"Fourteen! Who?"

"One of our father's business ventures was a club catering to a specific clientele. He took all three of us at one time or another when he thought we were old enough."

I frowned.

He tapped the end of my nose. "We'll always be faithful to you."

We dried, then he scooped me up and carried me to bed. I loved lying beside him, feeling his naked body against mine, but reality began to push its way in no matter how hard I tried not to think about it. I knew I might as well say something, or I'd never get any sleep.

"His name is Amon Corvin," I quietly told him. "He'll still want to kill all three of you, and now me as well."

"When I thought you died, my heart shattered that night. You were, and are, everything to me. My heart, my soul. I'll make you this promise. We'll keep you safe and won't let anything ever harm you again."

"Then we have to kill him before he kills us."

I felt his frown in his next words.

"What exactly do you mean by we ?"

I met his gaze. "He trained me to be a killer. That's who I am now. The tables have turned. It will be me who kills him."