Chapter 12

12

“ A lyss, the slightest bit of magic, just to see if someone is on the other side,” Eira whispered, not daring to raise her voice louder than necessary.

With a nod, Alyss crept to the opening. She sidestepped halfway into it. A ripple of magic whispered across Eira’s senses, barely there, and only perceivable because she knew to look for it.

Alyss disappeared around the bend. They collectively held their breath. Another flutter of magic. Alyss shuffled back.

“So far as I can tell, we’re alone.” Even though she sounded confident, she still kept her voice down. Probably because of what she said next. “I can only sense in the immediate area though without using more magic.”

“I’ll scout ahead,” Olivin offered. “Being a Shadow gave me practice at keeping hidden without magic.”

The tunnel had opened up enough that Olivin could squeeze by the rest of them. Even though it wasn’t the time, or place, Eira didn’t have complete control over her body’s reaction to his being pressed against her once more. The smell of his skin alit memories of the night they shared. A flush burned between her collarbones, threatening to rise to her cheeks if she didn’t keep it under control.

But Eira managed.

He was past her, and the rest, and out of the tunnel. By the time she firmly had control over her thoughts, he had returned.

“Everything seems clear,” he whispered. “There’s some behind us—watching the wall, just as the soldiers of Qwint told us—but none ahead that I can see. They must feel pretty confident their ‘insignificant’ neighbor wouldn’t dare be sending anyone into their territory.”

“Onward, then.” Eira nodded to Alyss, who led them out. “Ducot, ride up on a shoulder.” Without a word he pulsed into his mole form and scurried up Yonlin’s leg, causing the other man to squirm. “Olivin, help me with an illusion.”

“Trying to make this many invisible will use a good deal of magic,” he cautioned.

“It’s all right if it’s not perfect, just enough that we won’t be obvious.”

He nodded and followed after Alyss, the rest of them behind.

The moment she stepped into the sunlight, Eira balled her hand into a fist with a sigh of frost. No tells, the Adela that lived in her mind scolded. Eira relaxed her fingers, but not her magic. She focused on keeping it wound tight to them—no sudden surges that could alert the knights behind them.

Their enemies were perched on top of the hill that they had just emerged from, none the wiser that the very people they were watching for were right behind them. Carsovia had entrenched themselves. A few small, earth-bermed shelters were constructed right into the hillside. An endless rotation of sleeping and keeping guard.

A thin copse of trees surrounded them. It was minimal coverage for prying eyes so Eira was grateful for their illusions, however slight they were.

She navigated to Alyss, resting a hand gently on her friend’s shoulder and leaning in to whisper, “Keep a trail, we’ll have to come back this way.”

“Already ahead of you,” Alyss murmured in reply.

“This is why I keep you around.” Eira squeezed her shoulder.

“I can think of a few other reasons I make myself useful.” It was nice to hear the confidence in her friend’s tone. Eira knew Alyss’s reservations. Her fears were reasonable. But there wasn’t time to look back or question. Their only path was ahead.

They progressed through the thin woods. Much like the first time Eira had ventured into Carsovia, she was overwhelmed by the eerie sense of just how empty it all was. They walked for nearly three hours before seeing their first structure—a small farmhouse settled among the slowly flattening land that they had been descending through. The building itself wasn’t anything special. But what it did have was people and a road that cut through the fields, tall with crops, leading toward no doubt more civilization.

Taking a moment to catch their breath, they studied the maps that Lavette and Varren had gone over with them, ultimately determining that this was the outer fringe of a town called Calsveil. There was some debate over the best next steps. Cullen suggested they swing wide. Eira disagreed, prompting them to continue. Alyss offered to cover their tracks through the fields, but that would be slow, and exhausting for her. The best path was the fastest, and least conspicuous…but also the most dangerous:

The road.

There wasn’t any more discussion as they donned the cloaks and other clothing that had been given to them back in Qwint. The unique combination of colors had been chosen with care—mostly drab. Don’t stand out, don’t seem too lowly. Just exist , was hopefully what the clothing said.

Eira led them out of the woods and onto the dirt path that circled the farm. She almost paused at where it joined with the actual road. Would it look too obvious that they were emerging from the woods? What if this was another knight stronghold, only made to look like an unassuming farmhouse to lure anyone from Qwint into a false sense of security?

No … She kept her feet moving. People were trying to get from Carsovia to Qwint, not the other way around . The knights were watching Qwint’s gates for signs of an attack, or other intelligence—signs of pathways like the one they took. They might seem a bit strange wandering from that direction, but Eira trusted that anyone who saw them would come up with some explanation that wasn’t an infiltration group from Qwint.

Her theories, and hopes, were put to the test when they crossed paths with the owner of the small house, situated out front, sharpening a tool of his trade. He gave them a small but friendly greeting. Eira worked to return it, but she was sure their awkwardness was evident by how stiff their movements were. Yet whatever he thought of them wasn’t enough to stop them or raise any other alarm. So they kept moving.

The hours passed them by like the fields around them. Monotony was their newest companion, keeping pace with nervousness and dread. Each house was much the same as the last. Every field grew one of the same three crops. And none of them seemed very keen on talking.

All the while, Cullen regarded everything with a far-off stare. Even though the crops were nothing like the rolling fields of wheat she’d heard described in the East, she had to imagine this was something like his homeland, a place he hadn’t returned to since he’d Awoken and destroyed an entire town. She couldn’t stop herself from slowing her pace and angling her steps, coming up to his side.

The backs of her knuckles brushed against his and Cullen’s head snapped in her direction, wide-eyed. Eira didn’t know if he thought there was some kind of threat she was alerting him to. Or, if he realized he’d been caught—that she’d seen that distant and haunted gaze.

Eira offered him a small smile. His expression relaxed some. With a twist of her fingers, her knuckles slid between his.

Cullen squeezed her hand in reply and released. Eira saw the appreciation, and understood the dismissal. He wanted to be left to his thoughts, and that was all right. For now, at least.

The motion brought back the sensation of Yonlin from earlier. Eira stared at her empty hand. A rough patch on her wrist, forever scarred from the shackles of the pit. There were the ghosts of burns from the fires of the coliseum when she hadn’t had her magic to protect her. Tiny scars lined her fingertips from prying the flash shale out of the mines. Each one so minuscule that they’d be missed at a glance. But Eira could read them like a book.

They all carried the stories of their lives so far inked in scars both seen and unseen. Wounds that would never quite heal. Breaks that couldn’t be mended by magic—only time.

Yet, these scarred hands could still be held on to. They could still pull someone back from the brink of succumbing to ghosts. But…they hadn’t been enough to pull her friend from the arms of Death.

Balling her hand into a fist, Eira squeezed away the thoughts. When she relaxed, there was nothing left of them…save for a whisper on the wind that sounded like Noelle’s voice asking, Why?

The sun was burning the edges of the horizon, illuminating the silhouette of a large town, or small city, in the distance—Calsveil, undoubtedly.

“That’s where we’re going, right?” Yonlin asked. He had one of the best senses of direction among them, save for Alyss. The two had been navigating in tandem all afternoon.

“Let’s hope so, otherwise we’ve gone wildly off course,” Eira said.

“Into the city tonight?” Alyss suggested.

Eira had been debating it ever since she saw the first trail of smoke winding into the sky from the town.

“No.” She pointed toward a barn in a field, unattached to the farmhouse that it no doubt belonged to. “Let’s make our way there tonight. We’ll plan our approach to the city for the morning.”

Two days , Lavette had warned her. It had taken the better part of a day just to get this far. That meant, tomorrow, they had to find Allun, free her, and get out all in the span of one day. They’d have to be strategic and well-rested.

Navigating the fields under the haze of sunset proved relatively simple. The family who was in the farmhouse had already tucked in for the night, oblivious to and undisturbed by their unexpected guests. Still, they made it a point to progress with deliberate and measured steps, keeping low to the ground. This time, Alyss covered their tracks, ensuring there was no trace of their passage in the soft earth and every blade of crop was mended.

By the time they reached the weathered barn, it was nothing more than a shadow against a plum sky. It wore its years with dignity, its front facade thick with patina and the doors heavy with smudges and streaks of regular use. The main doors were still open, the temperate night not necessitating a need to block out the elements from the animals within. The scent of the beasts permeated the air, hide and hay mingling with earthiness and life.

“Up to the loft,” Eira suggested, climbing a rickety ladder to the hay loft that creaked threateningly under their weight, but held. Most of the space was claimed by an expansive amount of hay, already in preparation for the winter ahead.

It took little time and effort to settle into their temporary sanctuary. Not much more to do other than drop their packs. The hay made for suitable bedding and the roof must be well-kept because it only had the faintest trace of dampness brought on by the cooling night, rather than any previous rainstorm. The warmth of the day still clung to the rafters, mingling with the heat that rose from the menagerie below. As each of them sagged into the hay, glances were exchanged. Expectant gazes turned in Eira’s direction.

“To start, there’s something I should tell you all.” Eira took a breath. “We only have one day to get in, get Allun, get out, and start our return.”

“One day?” Alyss blinked.

“But I thought the council gave us three days?” Cullen said. “That means we should still have two.”

“That’s what they said. But before we left, Lavette told me that there was already a push to shorten it to two days. That she’d stall as best she could but?—”

“There’s little faith we’d actually do it.” Olivin situated his pack by his feet, rummaging through it to distribute some rations to everyone. “To think, after all we’ve proved ourselves, they still doubt us.”

Eira shrugged. “It’ll make proving them wrong that much sweeter.”

“What’s the plan, then?” Alyss asked. “If we only have a day, we need to be strategic.”

“We’ll go before dawn,” Eira said. “While it’s still dark and our features will be harder to see clearly. That way we’ll hopefully have more freedom to maneuver among the masses throughout the day.”

“The streets will be emptier, though,” Yonlin pointed out. “We’ll stand out more.”

Eira had already considered the prospect. “That’s why we won’t be moving as a group.”

“You want us to split up?” A frown tugged on Cullen’s lips.

“We’ll cover more ground that way and it’ll look less suspicious than six of us walking in at once,” Eira explained her reasoning.

“Split up…” Ducot huffed in disbelief, the sound devolving into a dark chuckle. “Yes, we know how well that worked last time.”

The words were a blow to her chest, an impact strong enough to nearly carve out the spaces between her ribs. Eira stared at him, searching for a response. But there was none to find. He was right.

A long stretch of silence dragged on where no one seemed to want to be the first to speak.

Finally, Eira broke the silence. “We’ll talk more about the roles in the morning. For now, let’s get rest while we can. But we should have someone keep watch in case the family comes out to check something in the night.” Eira stood. The squeaking boards of the loft suddenly sounded like screaming. “I’ll take first.”

No one stopped her as she descended the ladder. Eira heard them settling. She thought she heard Alyss murmuring something to Ducot. But Eira intentionally didn’t listen to the words. She didn’t want to hear Alyss’s defense, or agreement.

If she could, she would descend into the shadows of the barn and never emerge again.

But the ladder was only so long. And there was still a job to be done. Eira perched herself on the inside of the open barn doors, looking out toward the farmhouse and trying to allow her mind to go blank. The effort only lasted so long when a shifting in the air alerted her to the presence of another.

“Olivin,” Eira whispered. No one else could move as silently as he.

“He didn’t mean it.” Olivin’s voice was as hushed as hers, barely audible even from a few steps away.

“He did. And he was right to.” Eira folded her arms, leaning against the large barn door. Moonlight danced in the breezes that rippled through the crops beyond. “I didn’t make the right decisions then—I wasn’t enough of a leader, enough of a decision-maker. I’m trying to do better now, but…”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t control everything.”

“I wish I could.” Eira’s hands balled into fists. “All I want is to protect those I love.”

“I know that feeling all too well.” In a couple steps, he was next to her. A breath away. “You’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.”

“Yet, it feels like it doesn’t matter because nothing I do now will bring her back.”

“Of course what you’re doing matters.” Olivin shifted to face her, brow furrowed in a way that spoke of his disbelief that she’d think differently. “If you succeed, Eira, you’re setting all of Meru free. Noelle is gone, and I know— I know that pain. But what you, what we have the chance to do is prevent the pain of countless other Noelles from being suffered across Meru.”

She sighed. It was a beautiful thought, but… “Anything beyond us, our group, my crew, hardly feels real.” Or like it matters , if she was being honest. She wasn’t killing Ulvarth for Meru. She was doing it for herself and the memories of Noelle and Marcus.

“What you’re doing for all of us is a help, too.”

“Risking your lives?” she asked dryly. Doubt was a spiral and farther down she spun.

“Yonlin would’ve been lost, earlier, if not for you.” Olivin squeezed her shoulder gently. “How did you know?”

“After they took me…the darkness was different. Locked doors weren’t the same; they might as well have been prison cells.” Eira reached a hand out into the moonlight. “Sometimes, even hazy moments like this, there’s a blur of reality—and the fabrication they made for me to believe was real. If I let my mind wander, I can begin to doubt I ever escaped that place, as if all of this is somehow still part of their game.”

“It’s not.” As if to emphasize the point, he rested a palm on her hip.

“I know.” Eira shifted to rest her hand over his, holding him to her. “The pain is too sharp.” Sharper than the blade of the dagger she’d entrusted to Crow, waiting to be plunged into Ulvarth’s chest.

“I wish…I could ease your pain.” He leaned toward her, nose brushing her temple before his lips pressed gently against her flesh. “Yours, Yonlin’s… I know you doubt, Eira. I understand that feeling. But you’re doing better than you think. Thank you for being there for him in a way I couldn’t.”

“You’ve nothing to thank me for.”

“My gratitude says otherwise.” He sighed softly into her hair, his forehead pressing against the side of her head. “You’re not the only one, Eira, who looks at the suffering around you and sees all the instances of the good you failed to do. But, I believe there could be a future ahead for us, once and for all. A future you and I can build together.”

Eira shifted to look up at him, meeting his eyes. She’d seen intense expressions on him before. But this…it was nearly overwhelming.

Reaching up, Olivin cupped her cheek.

“You, and me, and all we can achieve will be glorious.” He spoke the words like a vow, sealing them with a kiss.