Chapter 27

Bella

“This butter is delicious,” my dad says between bites as we sit in his house, eating dinner. His sole focus for the last half hour has been on the slab of meat in front of him. Watching, I feel resentment bubbling in my belly. He’s acting so calm and casual. He doesn’t have any new wrinkles, and there’s almost a smile on his face.

He takes another bite and points to my plate with his fork. “Aren’t you going to try some, Belly? You’re missing out.”

That’s it.

I can’t do this anymore.

I drop my fork, and he jumps back a little in surprise. “Are you really just going to sit there, eating your steak and acting like nothing’s happened?”

My dad stops mid-chew and stares at me with confusion. “What are you talking about, Belly? I was merely discussing the butter with you.”

“Don’t get funny with me,” I retort. “You know I’m not talking about the steak, Dad. I’m talking about the biggest news on campus since they found out you were joining as head coach. Drew’s leaving.”

“Oh, that.” Somber and cold, he drops the fork next to him.

“Yeah. That. You’re just going to let him go like that? After everything. You’ve trained him for at least eight years, and this is how it ends?”

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he pushes his seat back. “If you know he’s leaving, then I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about why I had no choice but to let him go.”

“Did you have to, though?” I raise a brow in question.

“Yes. Someone needs to take accountability for their actions.”

Strangely, I find myself annoyed for Drew. Here’s a guy he thought was like a father to him who so easily discarded him. Does my father care about anyone but himself? I shake my head, feeling an anger I’ve never let myself feel before.

Why was I so hellbent on getting his approval all these years?

Drew had his approval for the better part of a decade and look what that got him. Kicked out of college, his dreams shattered, and forced to move to another state.

I push my lips out, finally ready to put up a fight for a cause that’s more important than my father’s approval. “Drew didn’t use his key. He was lured in there. If he had known what the plan was, I’m certain he would have said no.”

My dad nods, processing the words, but not the implication behind them. I don’t know how many keys he gave out, but I know I’m one of them.

My dad’s lip curls. “And who told you that?”

I close my eyes because it’s time I finally do something selfless and stand up to my father. “No one needed to tell me because I’m the girl in the video.”

I don’t open my eyes, too afraid to see his reaction. No father wants to hear about their daughter’s sex life, let alone witness it.

“What are you talking about?” His voice is quiet, with steely grit humming behind it.

“Don’t you remember? You gave me a key, too. I was the one that lured Drew in there.” Opening my eyes, I sit up a little straighter. There. I admitted it. Drew and I were together, and my dad now knows. The cat’s out of the bag, and weirdly, I feel freed by the admission.

My dad drops his head in his hands. “Jesus, Bella. I knew you hated the guy, but why would you choose to ruin his life?” Disappointment glares in his eyes so deeply that I can feel it in the depths of my toes. Just like that, everything I tried to build with my father has been shattered. Not only is he disappointed in me, but I’m disappointed in him. He thought I did it to ruin Drew? Not even Drew believed that. The fact that he thinks I’m capable of such deceit is horrifying.

“I wasn’t trying to ruin his life. Hard to believe, but Drew and I were dating.”

My lungs feel like they can finally take a full breath, but my father looks like he’s about to blow a gasket.

Standing, he grunts and hits the wall. “I knew this would happen.” He shakes his wrist, letting out some of the pain, and looks at me despondently. “He was always so eager to do anything for you, and now he’s ruined his life by taking the fall for this whole mess too.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Did you really think I didn’t notice the way he looked at you? The way you looked at him? Why do you think I encouraged you to change from dance to track?”

“I thought it was because you wanted to help train me.”

He blows out a laugh. “No. That was just a happy coincidence. I wanted the best for you, and for that to happen, I needed to keep the two of you away from each other.”

“Why?” “Because I could see a teen pregnancy in my future, and I didn’t want you two to become another statistic. You both deserved more than that.”

I’m floored. Metaphorically, of course. Sitting in this chair, I feel like I should flip the table over and scream. Not only were timing and fate working against my relationship with Drew, but my dad was too.

Instead of throwing my arms dramatically, I fold them and lean back onto the chair. I need to be rational in this conversation since there’s still potential that I could get Drew back on the team. “Bit dramatic, don’t you think, Dad?”

My dad adjusts his hat. “You try being a father to a teenage daughter you see daily at work. Do you think I don’t know how guys your age talk about girls like you?”

“Drew’s not like that.”

“Exactly. And he’s been through enough with his dad. I thought I was done with you and Drew after high school. If I had known he was still harboring feelings for you, I would have let you stay in London until he left for the draft.”

“What are you talking about?”

He lets out a low, sarcastic chuckle. “Guessing he didn’t tell you about prom?” I shake my head, not sure what he’s referring to. “He came to our house once wearing a shirt and tie, asking to speak to your mother and me? He looked like a skinny accountant but had this whole speech prepared about how he wanted to ask you to the formal. I was hesitant to say yes, but the boy gave me a timeline, so I knew when to expect you home and contact details of everyone you would be with.”

Was this the formal Drew mentioned before? The one where he had to go with Becca because I went with Jimmy instead?

“I reluctantly said yes. Figured he must be serious about you if he was willing to risk our relationship to date you. It was only after you came home squealing about that idiot Jimmy that I realized you had turned Drew down.”

I didn’t turn him down. He never had the chance to ask, but I’m still unsure how I would have reacted back then. “I thought that was the end of it, but then I noticed that whenever you were at games, he seemed distracted and wasn’t as invested in winning.”

The pieces come together, and I’ve never felt more betrayed than right now. My own father stifled my happiness because he thought that was what was best for me. “Is that why you essentially banned me from home games?”

A sad, sympathetic smile forms on his face. “Honey, I love you, but I didn’t want Drew to lose out on the opportunity of a scholarship over a girl that barely noticed his existence.”

Oh, I noticed his existence, alright. I always have.

Would things have been different between us if I had known all this at the time? If he had the opportunity to ask me out? Would I have said yes? Would we still be here right now, or would we have ended before?

“How many people know that it’s you in that video?” Panic instills in his face, but I’m too busy trying to piece together everything to care about it. It’s not like any of this matters without Drew here.

“No one knows except you and Drew.”

His shoulders slump, that little piece of information offering him some relief. “You’re sure no one else knows? You haven’t mentioned it in passing?”

I raise a brow. “How would I mention that in passing?”

“Bella, if this video spread as fast as I’m told it has through campus, then there’s a very real possibility you could have mentioned how it ends.”

I wince and swallow down the vomit because this is the worst conversation to be having with my father. Ever.

“I have not told anyone about the ending of the video,” I say calmly but stare at my toes. “I only went out once with Drew on campus a few days before the video came out.” My dad’s face flushes red with anger. “I didn’t just hang out with Drew that night. Jacob, Reese, Justin, and Jonah were all there too. I don’t think anyone would remember it was Drew I was with.” I know because I made sure of it. As much as I wanted to prove that Drew was mine, subconsciously opening myself up to the scrutiny was too hard, and I just ended up hanging out with anyone but him.

Grabbing my shoulders, my dad bends down to look me in the eyes. “Bella, this is serious. You have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone that it’s you. If you’re asked, you will deny everything because it’s a bad enough scandal that one of the players was caught in that position, but if it comes out that the coach’s daughter was involved, we will lose everything.” I can hear the panic in his voice, and the realization that I majorly fucked up finally hits me. I’ve not only ruined Drew's life and any chance I might have to be with him, but I’ve put my father’s career on the line. He gave me the key, after all. “If anyone finds out it’s you, or worse, that you lured Drew into it, this could come down like a pile of shit on the both of us.”

“If it came out, I wouldn’t let that happen. I would say I stole the key and did it. You and Drew don’t deserve the punishment. I do.”

His brows crease, and he looks at me incredulously. “Belly. You’ll lose everything if you admit this. You can’t.”

I shrug. “Losing everything doesn’t seem so bad when you’ve lost the one thing that means the most.” Wow. Out of everyone, I didn’t think my dad would be the first person I’d admit that to. His face softens. “Drew doesn’t deserve to take the full heat on this.” Or Brianna, for that matter, as I’m pretty certain everyone has already decided it’s her in the video, which I know Drew would have denied vehemently, but that probably made it look worse.

It’s finally time I take accountability for my actions and stop blaming everyone else. I don’t care if Drew thinks it’s over; it will never be over between us. I will fix this.

“Where’s Drew? I need to talk to him.”

“Isabella,” he warns, and I know he means business since he only uses my full name when I’m in trouble. “Don’t do anything stupid. We need to talk about this before you go talking to Drew again.”

“No offense, Dad, but Drew’s the one I should be talking to about this. We’re together.” It’s a little white lie, but I’m not letting Drew slip through my fingers so easily. Not this time.

“You can’t, and if you were together, you’d know that. He’s already gone.”

“Gone? What are you talking about?”

“He’s catching a flight to California today.”

“He’s leaving?” My voice is laced with desperation. Drew’s leaving already? But that can’t be possible. It’s too quick.

“Yes, Bella. That’s what I’ve been telling you this whole time. Drew’s already taken the fall for this whole thing. He claimed he didn’t remember the girl's name in the video. Now I know why, but he’s never coming back to St. Michael’s.”

Standing, I rush to the door. “I’ve got to go.”

Before he can say anything or stop me, I’m out of the room and ordering an Uber.

Dave, please don’t fail me now.

He’s always given me three stars, but after our last intense showdown, he gave me one star, and I’m hoping I can redeem myself this time since he’s probably the only driver willing to take on a passenger with such a terrible rating.

“Come on. Come on. Come on,” I mumble to myself as I stomp out of the house, watching the little cars on the screen and waiting for one of them to accept me.

I know it will be Dave again. I just know it.

When the familiar car and license plate pop up on the screen, I yell, “yes!” and throw my fist in the air.

Dave’s car rolls up a few minutes later, and when I jump in, I’m met with his cold, stony face.

“Hey,” he drawls out miserably.

“I don’t have time for pleasantries, Dave. I’ve got a flight to catch.” Which one? I don’t know, but there can’t be many leaving for Los Angeles today.

Dave drives slower than my grandma, but I don’t complain because I don’t want him to drop me off on the highway like he did that one time I ticked him off. I’d have no chance of catching Drew then.

When we finally get to the airport, my feet pound against the floor as I look for the nearest departure screen. My heel is aching, but I know my heart will ache more if I don’t find him. I need to speak to him before he leaves. I should be the one to lose my reputation, not him.

When I finally find a screen with the departures, I scan until I see the glorious letters ‘LAX’ next to ‘ Now Boarding .’ He’s still here. I still have a chance to explain myself. I run to the gate as fast as possible, knowing that it will halt my recovery, but not caring one bit. I never cared about track, anyway. I only did it to impress my dad, and what a terrible waste of time that turned out to be.

By the time I purchased a ticket to Mexico to get through security, the LAX flight had changed to ‘ Final Boarding,’ and I ran as fast as possible to the gate.

“Drew!” I call out his name to the crowd of passengers. I can’t see him because the line is so busy. My only hope is he recognizes my voice. “Drew.” I keep calling his name, to the dismay of the other passengers.

The hairs on the back of my neck rise because I can see him. His tall and muscular back with a black shirt on is right in front of me.

A smile breaks across my lips because it’s like one of those stupid Christmas movies Drew made me watch. He’s here, and I’m going to get my redemption. He doesn’t turn when I call his name because he must not hear me. Maybe he has his earbuds in.

“Drew,” I call one more time before resting my hand on his shoulder.

I rip my hand away, immediately frowning, because this doesn’t feel right. When he turns, disappointment curdles in my stomach.

“Can I help you with something?” the man asks.

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” I take a few paces back, my heart now pounding inside my chest.

Of course it’s not Drew. This isn’t a movie. This is my life, and I screwed up.

Is this what it will be like for me now? Constantly thinking I see Drew everywhere. This guy had a similar back, but I should have known better. I was just too eager to believe it was him.

Watching the final passenger board the plane, I don’t know what to do. He’s not here. He’s gone.

“Are you boarding the flight, ma'am?” a flight attendant asks me.

Looking out the window at the big metal plane, I frown. “No, I’m supposed to be going to Mexico.”

She offers me a curt smile and shuts the gate.

So, that’s it. There’s nothing I can do but sit here and watch the plane fly away.

What a lackluster ending.

Sitting on one of the seats, I spend the rest of my day in the airport, texting Drew’s number, hoping he’d respond, but the blue dots never appear, which can only mean one thing.

He’s blocked me.

It’s really over. We’re really done.

I flick the paper ticket in my hand, reading the destination.

Maybe I should flee to Mexico. After all, what do I have in Hope if I don’t have Drew? I can’t run track. My father doesn’t want to look at me. I don’t want to look at him either, and it’s not like I enjoy living here. Nothing in this place excites me, and maybe it’s time I face reality.

I don’t want to be here without Drew. But being here with Drew isn’t an option, either. Where he was everything to me, I ruined everything for him. My dad’s right; my actions would suggest I hate him and I tried to force him out.

A sad reality sits heavy on my chest. Maybe it’s time to move on. Drew and I tried. We imploded in the worst possible way. There’s nowhere else for us to go. So, maybe I need to let him go.

Too bad I don’t want to.