Chapter 25

Bella

My feet crunch against the graveled driveway as I step toward the small fishing cabin. There are about ten lined up across the lake, which, to my surprise, is only a five-minute walk from campus. I’ve attended St. Michael’s for the better part of two years, and I had no idea this place existed. Judging by the lack of cars with campus stickers in the parking lot, I’m guessing that’s the same for most students.

The lake is peaceful, and although I’m not the outdoorsy type, the trees are inviting, and I can see why Drew’s picked this place to hide out. The cabins are so tiny and inconspicuous that no one would expect him to be able to fit in one, let alone hang out in it.

Stepping onto the cabin porch, I knock once on the door, then look at the rickety dock in front of me. A dingy boat that looks like it hasn’t been used in years bobbles in the water. The birds sing softly, and the lake is so still it feels like I’ve walked onto a movie set. How Drew found such a secluded and peaceful spot just outside of campus, I’ll never know, but it feels like him. He’s never been one to bask in the attention, even though he commands it just by walking into the room.

There’s no answer to my knock, so I check the cabin number and knock again. Two chairs rock in the wind a couple of cabins over, making the hairs on the back of my neck rise. It’s all a little too quiet to be comfortable for me.

“Drew?” I call out, my voice echoing against the wood. Still no response, so I try my luck with the door. Pushing the handle down, it unlocks with ease, and I feel the warmth of the fire as I open it. It’s a small space, with only a living room and what looks to be a bathroom by the side. Seeing Drew’s jacket draped over the two-seater sofa gives me the confidence to come into the room, and I smile sadly. In another life, I could imagine Drew and me happily coming here to escape campus. I’d fall asleep on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, while he watched a game and played with my hair.

Even after seeing him with Brianna and knowing he’s leaving, a piece of me wants that so badly, but I need to face that reality was never on our side because reality keeps bringing us back to the fact that Drew and I can never be.

We’ve tried. We’re incompatible, and we don’t make sense. The smart, put-together jock doesn’t need the mean-spirited princess in his life. I only serve to bring him down. He needs someone to lift him up. Someone like Brianna.

There’s a flicker of movement from the window at the back of the cabin, and I immediately recognize the backward St. Michael’s baseball cap. It’s the same one he wore when I lived with him all those months ago. Drew’s just outside but doesn’t know I’m here, and as per usual, I follow him out.

He’s sitting on a small dock with a fishing rod in his hand and a tackle box by his side. I take a few tentative steps out the door, trying to be careful with announcing my presence too early, but his body flinches when the board creaks.

“Bella,” he says my name without checking if it’s me. I’m guessing no one else knows he’s here. “You came.” He doesn’t sound surprised or even overly eager. It’s just a monotonous statement, as though he’s lost all enthusiasm for us.

“Of course I came.” I bite back the urge to tell him I’m like a moth to a flame. I can’t seem to stay away.

“Yeah, well, the way we’d left things, and what you saw earlier, I wasn’t sure you would.”

For the first time in my life, I take a few steps closer and don’t pick a fight. What’s the point of arguing now? Drew’s leaving. He announced it to the world before talking to me about it. He ran into Brianna’s arms instead of mine. He’s going to move on and have this great life outside of Indiana, and I will be here, picking up the pieces of my broken heart.

“How’d you find this place? It’s so peaceful.”

Sitting on the other side of his tackle box, I let my feet dangle over the edge and tip my toes slightly to watch the ripples my shoes make in the water.

“Found it in freshman year when there was all the hype about me coming to St. Michael’s because of your dad. Everyone was calling us ‘The Dynamic Duo’ and talking about how we’d become the greatest pair college football has ever seen.” He laughs bitterly and lifts the fishing line, testing to see if anything is on the end. “Thank goodness Jacob Miller was already here to keep my ego in check.”

We fall into a comfortable silence. Drew fishes while I watch the ripples in the water.

“These docks remind me of the ones back home my dad took me to before he passed. Might sound ridiculous, but I always feel closer to him when I’m out here.”

“Doesn’t sound ridiculous at all.”

“I’ve been renting this same cabin sporadically with my leftover sponsorship money over the last few years. Most of it goes to the stuff my scholarship doesn’t cover, but I like to allow this one little luxury in life.”

I tilt my head in his direction. “I thought you had a full ride?”

He shrugs, still not meeting my gaze. “Books, food, and clothes aren’t covered, and those are expenses I’d rather not pass onto my mom.”

My heart melts, remembering everything he told me during winter break. It’s crazy to think how far we’ve come in only a few months.

“How does she feel about your move?” I ask because I can’t wait any longer to hear confirmation from him.

“If you think I told her I’m being forced out of college because a sex tape was released of me, then you’d be wrong. I simply said that Coach decided to go in a different direction next year and that he wouldn’t be playing me since I couldn’t take them to the championship. She’s disappointed and said she’d have a word with Coach Summers when he’s back in town, but I don’t think she’ll bother. She doesn’t know how lucky I am that Southern Collegiate even considered me.”

Southern Collegiate?

California. He’s moving all the way to California and even farther away from where I might end up.

“Do they know about what happened?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think so. St. Michael’s is doing their best to put a lid on it, but we live in a world full of TikToks and OnlyFans. Coach explained to Southern Collegiate that there were some extenuating factors but didn’t go into detail. They’re concerned that I might not be a team player, and that’s why St. Michael’s is trying to offload me, but I’ve had a few of the other coaches and Jacob vouch for me. The whole thing is embarrassing, but it’s better than completely losing my scholarship and a potential sponsorship for a year.”

He leans back, and I desperately want to know what he’s thinking, but I don’t think it’s my place anymore. Maybe it never was. The distance between us feels more like oceans than a couple of inches. I hate what we’ve become, but I only have myself to blame.

My fingers itch to touch him as he cracks his knuckles.

“You don’t have to go, you know?” I risk it. I put my hand on his knee and rub the skin there with my thumb. I can feel the soft ridges of scars from various football injuries marring his imperfect skin, and I like how it feels. I always like the way Drew feels.

When he doesn’t move from my touch, I have to stop myself from getting close. Just one last time, I want to hug him like I have that right. The same right that Brianna still has.

“Why do you want me to stay?” he asks with a sparkle of interest in his eyes. Would Drew staying relieve my guilty conscience since I know I’m the one that lured him up to that room? Yes. But that’s not the only reason. I might have thought I hated him before because I blamed him for my lack of a relationship with my dad, but it’s not his fault. They worked well together and deserved to be successful.

“You deserve the best chance of getting drafted, and that’s with my dad.”

“Is that the only reason?”

Even now, alone with Drew, admitting my feelings is hard, not because I don’t know what they are. I know them all too well, but what’s the point in declaring them now? It’s not going to change anything.

“I have to leave,” he answers because he knows I won’t. “I can’t be taken seriously here. That’s something your dad taught me. Integrity. I need that if I’m going to lead a team to victory next season, and I need to do that if I want to be taken seriously in the draft.”

“Can you just wait out this year and try again with my dad?”

“And waste a year doing nothing? I can’t do that. Firstly, riding the bench for a season would be torture. I need to be out there, managing the plays. Secondly, one of the most important things that my dad taught me was that I needed to live for now because I have no idea how long I have left. Right now, I have my health, which is a lot more than he had at the end. I don’t want to waste it.”

I bite my bottom lip, feeling somewhat bad that I’ve always given Drew such a hard time. Although he frustrated me, at least my dad was here, and he cared about me and my future.

“Why didn’t you call me when you found out about the video?”

“Honestly?” He raises his chin and looks at me. “I thought you were part of it. There was a moment where I thought our whole relationship was some big ass conspiracy to get rid of me because you still hated me.”

“Sounds extreme, even for me.”

“Coach told me they found the guy that did it. It was some idiot in security who, funnily enough, didn’t think about the long-term consequences of sharing porn across the campus system. I gotta admit, I was relieved when I found out it wasn’t you, but it made me think about things.”

“What things?”

“About you and me.”

My heart rate spikes. I’m here because I need to figure out what’s happening between us, but it doesn’t make the conversation any easier.

“I think we need to end things.”

I’m speechless for a moment. “I thought we already had.”

“Yeah, I thought we had, too. But then you came bursting through my door, seemingly unaware of the video and pissed that I was sitting with Brianna. I can’t forget you, Bella, because every time I look at you, I see things I’ve never seen before.”

“What kind of things?”

His jaw ticks, and just when I think he’s about to speak, he shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve come to accept that Southern Collegiate is the best place for me. A fresh start away from any of the Summers’ family will do me good. I need to leave because our dynamic isn’t healthy.”

“If anyone should go, it should be me. I was the one to lead you in there.”

“I didn’t stop you, and besides, for you to leave, you’d have to admit it was you. Everyone already knows it’s me; no point dragging another person down.”

“Still, you shouldn’t have to move from the best D1 ranking team to the worst. Didn’t their entire team get suspended over some awful hazing incident?”

“Then I’ll fit right in,” he mumbles. “If it means I can play, then I’ve got to do it.”

“But you’ll be playing with their backup team.”

“Better than riding the bench here.”

My heart sinks because I’m watching Drew’s dream die over something we did together. Closing my eyes, I know I can’t leave it like this.

“What about if I admitted that I was the one that lured you into the room? It’s not your fault. I did it because I was jealous and wanted your attention on me. If I knew it would cost you everything, I would take it back in a heartbeat.”

Finally acknowledging my hand, he places his over it, weaving our fingers together. His brown eyes are filled with warmth and surprise, but I can already see the answer before he speaks.

“Like I said, I think it’s best if I leave. You need to spend more time with your dad, and I need to reconnect with mine, even if he’s not here.”

“But I’ll miss you.” I gulp when I realize how easily the words fall from my lips. Did I really just admit that to him? Vulnerability doesn’t feel great, especially because it feels useless in these circumstances.

He chuckles. Leaving my hand on his knee before he stands. “You think that now because we’ve never been away from each other. Whether you liked it or not, we’ve been in each other’s lives since we were thirteen.”

His statement feels like a ton of bricks breaking through my resolve. He never said he’d miss me. He wants to end this. I’m the one desperately clinging to something that may have never been there in the first place.

Kissing my forehead, he helps me up. “Goodbye, Bella.”

It’s bittersweet, and my heart feels crushed, but what can I do? He doesn’t want to fight for this. Why would he? All I’ve brought into his life is chaos. I’ve ruined everything, and this is his way of letting me down gently.

I leave without another word, feeling like my heart is left in pieces on the cabin floor, but knowing there’s nothing I can do about it.