Chapter 23

Bella

Something feels different today, but I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is. The halls are full of whispers; whenever I catch someone’s eyes, they turn away sharply, and I don’t know why. My skirt’s a little short, but no shorter than usual, and my hair has the same long braid in it, so why is today different?

Dropping my lunch tray on the table, I face Marissa and ask, “Do you know why everyone is staring at me?” She looks around while munching on her Cheetos and turns back, giving me a confused glare.

“Are you still taking those pain meds for your leg, B? Because absolutely no one is looking at you.”

Peering over Marissa’s shoulder, she’s right. “I don’t know. Something just feels different today, and I’m not sure what exactly it is.”

Marissa snorts. “Duh, it feels different. We’ve just lost our best quarterback and your newest crush to a potential rival school. That’s the biggest thing that’s ever happened here.”

Best quarterback? As in Drew?

“What are you talking about?”

She stares at me, dumbfounded. “Didn’t your dad tell you?” I shake my head, but can’t stop the prickly sensation creeping over my skin. Is there something I should know? “Surprising, since you’re all up in the football team these days. Drew’s leaving.”

I think my heart stops, and I want to pinch myself because this can’t be real. I can’t breathe. All I can do is repeat those words in the back of my head.

Drew’s leaving. Drew’s leaving. Drew’s leaving?!

Marissa looks around before leaning in. “Apparently, it happened over the weekend. He decided he wanted to play in warmer weather. West Coast seems most likely. Covey U and Southern Collegiate have already reached out.”

“But why? Jacob’s entering the draft this year; he would be our starting quarterback?”

She shrugs. “That’s what the whispers are about. No one knows the real reason, or if they do, they aren’t sharing it with mere mortals like me. Maybe ask your dad.”

Why didn’t my dad mention it when I saw him for dinner on Friday night? Drew’s not leaving. He can’t be. Granted, we haven’t spoken in a few days, but that kind of decision doesn’t just happen overnight, and he would have mentioned it to me at some point, especially since one of the main things drawing me away from confirming our relationship status was his and my father’s close relationship.

“Drew’s leaving,” I breathe out in disbelief.

Marissa lifts her head and smiles. “How did you not know this? I thought you and Drew were close?”

I thought we were too. “That’s why I don’t believe it.”

“Oh, it’s true, alright. He announced on social media last night that he was looking at new colleges.” She swipes up her phone, types in a few words, and then shows me the post.

‘Thank you to St. Michaels, Coach Summers and the rest of the coaching staff for the last two years. I’ve enjoyed being a part of your team and its incredible legacy, but unfortunately, it’s time for me to move on. I wish you all the best for your upcoming season and am pleased to announce that I will be transferring to a new college for my junior year. Further details to follow soon.’

Even though it’s his official page, and his smiling face is staring back at me, it doesn’t make me believe the statement is any truer. Drew’s leaving me. The guy I wanted to be with, I just didn’t know how to be with him. But now he’s taken the choice away from me because he’s going to move thousands of miles away. If anyone was supposed to leave St. Michael’s before graduating, it was supposed to be me. I wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place. I should have been in London.

My heart feels like it wants to push through my chest, and I don’t know what to do. The cafeteria is too crowded; I think I need air.

“As you’d expect, absolutely everyone is talking about it.”

“Why would he leave? It makes no sense.” He and my father are best friends. Drew followed him to St. Michael’s for crying out loud. There’s no way Drew would just turn his back on my father like that. There’s no way my dad would have been so cool with it that he would serve me roast chicken for dinner on Friday and not mention it. I’m the one that’s flighty and prone to disappointment, not Drew.

“I heard they were thinking of starting one of the freshman quarterbacks next season, and Drew couldn’t stand being back up again.”

None of this makes sense. My dad would never risk starting a freshman quarterback just out of high school when he had Drew on the bench. Drew’s been waiting for his shot ever since he got here, and he’s got to be better than anyone else.

But why would my dad let Drew go like that?

“I need to speak to my dad.” I rush out of my seat, grabbing my tray in haste as I head to the trash can.

“Let me know what you find out,” Marissa calls behind me, but I don’t acknowledge it. Too much is buzzing through my head, and I still don’t believe it.

Instead of going to my dad’s office, I jog in the other direction, knowing the only way I will get a straight answer is if I talk to Drew himself.

Knocking feverishly on the now familiar black door, my heart rate spikes. When Drew and I had that argument in the gym, I didn’t expect to be talking about him transferring colleges in our next conversation.

This is all so crazy. I keep thinking that I must be dreaming or someone hacked his socials as a prank. He can’t just up and leave me without an explanation.

Waiting at the door, I rub my hands together and look around the neighborhood, hoping to release some nervous energy.

I have no idea how he’ll react, considering he’s been ignoring me like the plague over the last week. I need to talk to him now, though. If he’s really leaving, then this is a big deal. He’s not just leaving me; he’s leaving everything he ever built with my dad and all his teammates behind.

“Bella?” I frown but quickly mask it with a smile because I don’t want Jacob to see me disappointed. “What are you doing here?” There’s no malice in his voice, just confusion and a little tenderness.

Forcing my face into a smile, I say, “Hey, Jacob. Is Drew home?” I tip myself onto my toes, trying to look over Jacob’s shoulder discreetly.

He responds with an uneasy half-grin. “I’m, uh, Drew’s kind of busy at the moment.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He’s silent; I’m sure he’s inwardly cursing himself for saying that. I step forward to walk around Jacob, but he stands in my way. “Are you seriously not going to let me in?”

He closes the door a little more, making a sneak entry impossible. “I can’t.”

“So, Drew is home then?” I can just as easily walk around the back of the house and let myself in via the gym, but as I already made an effort to come through the front, I’d like to do that instead of breaking and entering.

“He doesn’t want to see you, Bella.” Jacob’s shoulders relax as though holding that in was visibly restricting his breathing. Too bad I don’t believe him. Yes, Drew and I fought, but if he wanted to leave, he needed to confront me first.

“Why not?”

“Why do you think?”

“We argued. Big deal. People always argue. I need to talk to him, and he won’t answer my calls.”

“And you think that’s because you argued?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Wow. You’ve been living under a rock.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, but either way, Drew’s busy, so you’ll have to arrange another time to speak to him.”

Jacob’s bulky frame blocks any view of the living room, and I pretend to turn away. With his guard down, I make a fake play and quickly look over Jacob’s shoulder. “Oh, hey, Drew,” I say with so much conviction that I surprise myself.

Jacob turns to see who I’m looking at, and I swiftly dunk under him, sneaking into the house. He tries to grab me, but thankfully, with an almost healed leg, I’m harder to catch.

“Bella, wait,” he calls, but I ignore his cries and head down the familiar hall to Drew’s bedroom. “You don’t want to go in there.”

The hell I don’t. Drew and I need to talk, and it’s going to happen today. I don’t bother knocking. I just push Drew’s bedroom door open.

That’s when everything goes in slow motion. I can feel Jacob jogging up behind me as the room comes into full view.

I stop. My mouth is gaped open, and my hands are clenching at my sides. I don’t know what to do because the sight before me feels like a shot through the heart.

Standing feels nearly impossible, and I think the only reason I maintain my balance is because I know I’ll make a scene if I fall.

But, man, do I crumble on the inside.

Is this what real betrayal feels like?

Brianna and Drew are here. Hugging. On Drew’s bed.

Bile works its way up my throat, and I take a tentative step back, feeling Jacob’s hands against my elbows, holding me up for stability.

“What the…”

Is this why he’s been ignoring me? Is he interested in reigniting things with Brianna? She’s a thousand times less complicated than me, after all, and we never officially started dating since I’m the one that put the kibosh on that.

Lord knows that if Drew had asked Brianna the same questions he asked me in the gym, she would have said yes in seconds.

But that’s what I didn’t think he liked about her. She’s the uncomplicated, sunny girl that is so stereotypically perfect; she’s boring. I always thought Drew was interested in stronger stuff than that.

Snowstorms and blizzards.

Me…

“Bella?” Drew’s voice is haggard, and his face isn’t much better. His shocked eyes are bloodshot and red as he takes me in with surprise. Blotched and puffy, I know his state isn’t the result of too much drinking last night. Drew’s upset, and there’s something so disarming about seeing him like this that I almost forget Brianna’s in the room with us.

It’s not just that a big, hulking piece of muscle like him is upset or that I expect him to be emotionless. It’s that he called Brianna to comfort him, not me. I shouldn’t be surprised by this.

I’m pricklier than a cactus, and Brianna is softer than a down-filled cushion. We weren’t talking, so why wouldn't he call her when making such a huge decision?

“What are you doing here?” Drew asks, and judging by his facial expression, I don’t think it’s the first time he asked it, just the first time I heard it.

I look between Brianna and Drew a few times, unable to appropriately form any sentences.

They look good together. Almost like they were meant to be. A hard truth ferments in my bones. Why shouldn’t they be together? Drew is sweet and kind and better than me in almost every aspect. Brianna is hardworking, gorgeous, and gentle. I may have known Drew longer, but do I actually know him like she does? She listens to him. I’m sure they have conversations besides sex. They probably want the best for each other. Drew and Me? I’m not so sure, but there’s one thing in this equation that doesn’t add up, and that’s me.

I’m the poison chalice. I’m all that’s wrong in this picture, and if I have any self-respect or dignity, I’ll leave.

“Sorry. Wrong house,” I pipe out, quickly jumping on my heels and bumping into Jacob, who’s standing right behind me. He looks mighty remorseful, but I don’t hang around to talk. I train my focus on the floor and jog down the hallway, pretending my heart hasn’t just been desecrated.

When I’m outside of the house, I start sprinting; my leg be damned.

“Bella. Wait.” That’s Drew’s voice calling in the distance. I’d know it anywhere, but I still skip away, not wanting to talk with him while Brianna is no doubt standing on the porch looking at me sympathetically.

If this incident has taught me anything, it’s to never trust Drew. A few days ago, he was all about me, asking me to admit my feelings to his friends and my father, but we got into one little fight about it, and look what happened. He’s back with Brianna in a heartbeat.

And that’s exactly why I didn’t want to tell my dad, because it would have been embarrassing to open up, only for him to lose interest in sleeping with the coach’s daughter.

Thank goodness I trusted my instincts and didn’t tell anyone. Too bad my heart didn’t get the memo.