Chapter 15

Bella

Five Weeks Later

Marissa: You are officially back in the dorms tomorrow! I’ve been so lonely without you. Got snacks and a movie to celebrate.

Great.

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and every Jason Statham movie known to man is waiting for me. I attempt to toss my phone across the room, but unfortunately, I miss the floor and hit my green cast. “Owww.” I don’t feel much of it, but I’m still angry and bitter over how everything went down between Drew and me.

The last five weeks without Drew have been nothing short of a mindfuck, and the only good thing about living with my father again is that I’ve realized just how important it is for me to move to a new state when I graduate. Not Indiana or Florida. Somewhere new, where no one knows me.

Hell, maybe it’s time I took the plunge and tried to actually move to London, instead of being drawn back by my dad. A fresh start away from American culture is exactly what I need because, frankly, my chances of meeting a hot quarterback who toys with my emotions in England is about as slim as me winning a race this year.

A studious British guy with impeccable manners is what I need after the whole Drew fiasco.

I cringe just thinking about him. I haven’t seen him, or any other students for that matter, since the night he called me a coward. I’ve been hauled up in my dad’s house, attending my classes online because he didn’t want me to risk slipping on sleet. Overprotective much?

I sigh and turn the TV on. There’s no point wallowing in this pity party. I need to do something, and if that something is watching Baseball Wives, then so be it.

I jump a little when the front door opens, and my dad greets me with a smile. “Morning, Belly.” He drops his gym bag onto the floor, and when he gets to me, he pushes my hair back and kisses me on the forehead.

“How was practice?” I mute the TV, watching the show from the corner of my eye as I listen to my dad.

Dad’s feet slow, and he looks over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes at me. “Are you feeling okay? I just checked your forehead, and it wasn’t hot.”

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re not only asking me about my day, but you’re asking me about football, and that’s a subject you hate more than the patriarchy.”

I shimmy down farther into the seat, feeling slightly salty about the observation. “Sorry for showing some interest in your work since it’s the only reason I’m here in the first place.”

That makes him turn around, and he sits on the coffee table in front of me. “Never be sorry, Belly. I’m just joking. For a second I thought you might be getting more interested in football after watching the playoffs with me all month.”

Groaning, I paw at my face, wishing I could scrub that memory from my brain. Yes, I sat with him while he watched the games, but in reality, all I did was flick through random social media sites, hoping Drew’s face would accidently pop up so that I had an excuse to stare at it.

It never did. Only if I ventured onto college sports pages, then his face was everywhere, but that brought a whole new level of weirdness to my timeline. You know you’ve ventured too far down the college sports algorithm when it’s recommending Covey U’s Bass Fishing team as something you might be interested in.

Lightly tapping my cast with his foot, Dad smiles. “Boot comes off in two days. How do you feel about it?” It’s a nice segue into a topic other than his football practice that I’d usually appreciate, but not today. Today, I really wanted to know what Drew was up to.

I wriggle my toes, watching my red nail polish dance. “My heel still feels a little sore, but I’m looking forward to getting back on campus and seeing my friends instead of hanging out with you, old man.”

He chuckles. “You think you’re all sunflowers and roses to be around? If I have to watch another pointless episode of this show, I might take up baseball so that I can throw a ball at ninety-five miles an hour at the TV.”

Dad’s phone rings, and he sighs when he looks at the number. I fall back onto the sofa, letting him take the call, and notice him gritting his teeth. “Yup. No problem. Thanks anyway.”

“Everything okay?” I ask when he’s finished the call.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just can’t find a place for the team to watch the playoffs tomorrow. It’s the last weekend, and our tradition is to watch it together.”

“But you’re St. Michael’s head coach, and it’s for the football team. Surely bars would be fighting over your attendance.”

Dad smiles sadly. “Yeah, but people are fickle and have short memories. No one is happy I didn’t get them into those playoffs this year, and I guess this is my punishment. Usually, I’d have the team over, but I didn’t think you’d feel comfortable with at least sixty players in the house.”

“Oh.” If only he knew just how comfortable I was with a certain player, he’d drop his whole team in a heartbeat. Swallowing my guilt, I know what I have to do. “You should throw it here.”

Dad’s shoulders lift along with his eyebrows. “No, Belly. As long as you’re here, this is your house, too.”

“And I want you to throw your party.”

“Well, if they do come, I’ll make the basement off-limits.” It takes him barely anytime to come around to the idea, which makes me think this was his ploy all along. Guess he didn’t count on me getting hooked on one of his players.

I wave my hand dismissively. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll come and watch the game with you guys.” He raises a brow but doesn’t pick up on my desperation, thankfully. It’s the first time I’ve ever actually wanted to be anywhere near the team, and it’s only because I haven’t gotten any new information on Drew. St. Michael’s missing the playoffs means there’s less talk of him in the news and more talk about where Jacob Miller will end up in the draft. So, I get a lot of pictures of Jacob, and although he’s nice to look at, he’s not Drew.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had time to realize that I made a huge mistake the night he came to see me. I was too hasty and had made my mind up before really understanding the consequences. I should have listened to him, but I wasn’t ready to hear what he had to say. I didn’t want to know how he felt because it would mean I’d have to face my feelings too.

Those feelings have been punching me in the face for my stupidity ever since.

Ultimately, I got scared. I was too afraid to take a risk with him because, apparently, I didn’t want to be happy. Drew made me happier than I ever thought I could be in Indiana, and it’s only now that I’ve been without him I can admit that.

He hasn’t tried calling since the night I watched him leave, and even though I should take it as a hint, I can’t accept that we’re done. We’ve waited too long, and it’s too soon.

Chasing guys isn’t something I’d normally do, but for some reason, I’m okay with chasing Drew.

Dad can’t hide the smile on his face because he thinks he’s won me over. “If you insist. I’ll start making arrangements now.”

“Can’t wait.”

Well, this isn’t going as planned.

“That throw suuucked.” Jonah, a defensive lineman, groans. He pushes his elbow into me, trying to talk to his buddy Justin on my other side. “I can’t believe we got beat by that.” Picking at the label on my drink, I make a grunting noise to pretend I’m interested. I should have stayed downstairs like my dad suggested, but no. I had to be stubborn and be in the action.

And I’m all up in the action, alright. Stuffed on a two-seater sofa between a couple of defensive linemen is not exactly what I had in mind when I put my best lipstick on.

Justin shakes his head, unknowingly letting droplets of beer fall on my thigh. I wipe away the liquid before it can get to my green skirt. “I would have sacked him just for that awful play.”

I have no idea what they’re talking about, but I don’t think they do either since they’re each on their sixth beer.

I can’t move. I can barely breathe, and it’s not because Jonah’s elbow is pressing into my rib cage. It’s because Drew is sitting directly across from me, laughing and talking to everyone, but he hasn’t acknowledged me once. How naive of me to think that seeing him again would somehow magically sort out all of our problems. That I’d suddenly become a Chatty Cathy and admit everything in front of everyone.

“What do you think, Bella?” Justin asks, the first acknowledgment that I’ve been sitting between them for the last hour.

Taking a drink of my orange soda, I glance at the TV and have no idea what’s going on. I haven’t been paying attention, and too many people are talking to hear the broadcast. “I think the guy is an idiot,” I guess, and am apparently right if Jonah’s approving smile is anything to go by.

“We’re going to play foosball. Do you want to join?” Jonah asks. They haven’t left my side in a while, and I can’t help but think it has something to do with my father.

“I’m okay. I think I’ll stay here.”

“You sure?” I nod. “If you change your mind, you can be on our team,” Justin offers as he stands, and for the first time in an hour, I remember what it feels like to take a full breath.

“Thanks.” I raise my drink in appreciation, but know what I’m going to do. I’m going to wait five minutes and then sneak down to the basement. There’s nothing for me here. Drew doesn’t want to know me. Why would he? I’ve treated him like dirt the whole time I’ve known him, and to him, this is no different. It’s just another chapter of Bella crapping all over Drew again. I need to come up with a new hobby.

Drew laughs, and the deep tone cuts through me. Did it always feel like this with him? Was I always masking my feelings with annoyance?

Screw it. It doesn’t matter now, and sitting around pontificating about it isn’t going to make me feel any better.

Dropping my drink onto the coffee table, I grab my crutches, ready to stand, and sneak away.

“Hey. It’s Bella, right?” an unfamiliar voice asks, and when I look up, I’m surprised to see Jacob Miller pointing his drink at me and throwing me a friendly smile.

“Yeah,” I wisp out, my eyes flicking to Drew for the slightest of seconds, wondering if he’s watching me. “And you’re Jacob Miller?”

“Yup.” He pops out and then points to the now empty seat beside me. “Is this spot free?”

I drop my crutches to the side because I guess I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon.

“Uh-huh.”

He takes a seat, and although not as large as Jonah or Justin, his presence is just as overwhelming. Tanned skin and perfect teeth make Jacob hard to talk to. Unnecessarily beautiful, and obnoxiously talented, is the only way to describe a guy like him. I can already feel my tongue getting fat and my brain losing the ability to form sentences. That’s just the kind of guy Jacob is.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” he starts, and I gulp. I’m guessing he still doesn’t know about my impromptu Drew impersonation from a few weeks back.

“We haven’t.”

“We’ve talked, though.” He takes a swig of his beer, not once moving his eyes off the screen and the game on it. I silently stare at him for a beat, and that’s when I see the smallest of smirks gracing his lips.

“We have?” My voice rises as though it’s a question, but in reality, it’s because I’m petrified that he knows.

“Virtually. You know, when you were bored and pretended to be Drew.”

My hands flail, and my tongue talks without my permission. “I’m so sorry about that, Jacob. I didn’t know it was you until after you started talking to me. I thought it was some pimply kid that Drew played Fortnight with. If I had known it was you, I would have told you immediately, or shut the game off.”

“But you didn’t stop when you realized.”

He’s got me there.

My face burns crimson, and I give him a sheepish smile before brushing off the invisible lint from my skirt. “Because I was in too deep. You seemed sad, and I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

He raises his dark brows in surprise. “So you thought you’d give me relationship advice instead?”

“I mean, honestly, I didn’t think you’d ever need relationship advice. You’re…” I wave my hands close to his face. “You.”

He sighs, thumping his body back onto the sofa. “Wow, Bella. I didn’t think you were one of those girls. Drew’s got you all wrong.”

“What kind of girl are you referring to?”

“A jersey chaser. Fawning over a guy just because he plays football. You know there’s more to us than what we leave on the field.”

My mouth hangs open in shock at the insult. “Excuse me? I’m not a jersey chaser. I’m not interested in football, let alone any of the players. In fact, I hate football. With a passion.” The final words die on my lips because Jacob is watching me with such intensity I know he knows something.

“You sure about that? Because my QB2 has been a pain in my ass these last few weeks, but won’t tell me why.”

“Really?” High pitched and followed by a gulp. I’m about as subtle as a walrus pretending to be a sea lion. “I have nothing to do with that.”

“Look, I don’t want to get involved in your cat-and-mouse foreplay.” That last word makes me squirm in my seat, and Jacob notices, his smile growing wider. “Oh, am I wrong? Is it no longer a cat and mouse game? Has something already happened?”

“I...I...I.”

“Not so tough now that you have to talk to me in person, are you?” When I’m silent, he shakes his head and plays with the bill of his St. Michael’s ball cap. After a sarcastic laugh, he says, “Unbelievable. You two think no one sees it, but you might as well be wearing signs on your forehead that say ‘we fucked’ with how obvious you’re being. Can’t believe Coach Summers even invited us here with you two acting like this.”

Instinctively, I push him away. “Keep it down. My dad is in the room.”

“Then you should really tell Drew to stop staring at me like he’s going to burn my house down. He’s making it all too obvious that he has a claim on you.”

“He’s staring?” I so desperately want to look, but I hold back.

“Oh, Bella. He’s been staring at you since the minute he met you. When are you going to put that poor pining idiot out of his misery and just admit that you like him too?”

I swallow, not sure what to say. “Things are complicated between Drew and me.” True.

“Best way to uncomplicate them is to talk.”

“Who’s giving relationship advice now?”

“Who can’t see that the guy she’s into has been mildly obsessed with her since he hit her in the head with a football?” he replies sarcastically.

I gasp. “You know about that?”

He nods. “Yeah, I know about that.”

Looking around at the rest of the players, I feel like all eyes are on me. “Does everyone?”

“Nope. I’m just the lucky guy that Drew confided in once after there was a little fight in the locker room.” He chuckles when he sees my surprise. “Guessing he didn’t tell you about that, either?”

“Drew and I don’t talk.”

“So it would seem.” His eyes track my hair, but there’s no heat behind the move. He shuffles closer to me, though. “Maybe you were too busy doing something else. You ever wonder why no guy has asked you out since you came to college?”

“Because I’m the daughter of the coach.”

“If anything, that puts a target on your back with the guys, but Drew pretty much stamped his name on your forehead the minute you showed up on campus.”

“Watch this.” He draws his hand up, waiting for me to give him a high-five. “Come on. Don’t leave me hanging.” I slap his hand, and just as I’m about to let it go, he waffles our fingers together, dragging me closer to him.

His mouth is at my ear now. “Check out Drew’s face. He’s going to kill me tonight.” He laughs, unclasping our hands as he moves to get up. I’ve barely acknowledged Jacob because I’ve finally got Drew’s attention. His eyes are darker than normal, his jaw clenched, and he stares at me unblinking, almost as though he’s challenging me to make a move. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to find something to drink other than water. Sitting around, waiting for the draft is torture.”

Just like that, Jacob’s gone, but Drew is still looking in my direction. Swallowing, I subtly scrub my teeth with my tongue just in case there is any leftover pizza between them. I can’t handle the humiliation if that was the only reason he was looking at me.

When I know my teeth are clean, I stare right back at him.

Brown meets blue, and there’s a yearning brewing in my stomach. Now that I have his attention, I want to make sure I keep it.

Pulling my phone out of my skirt pocket, I type out a message, sending it to him and watch, waiting for his reaction.

Bella: Meet me downstairs in the bathroom in five minutes.

I swear I practically hear the phone buzzing from across the room, but Drew makes no effort to check it. Torture at its finest. I left him stewing for three hours, so he’s going to just sit and stare at me, making no effort to read what I want to say to him.

I flick my gaze to the basement door, and although not far, there are a lot of people in the way, so I send another text.

Bella: Make that twenty. It will take me at least fifteen to get down the stairs unnoticed.

He still doesn’t bother checking his phone, but stares at me almost condescendingly. Well fine. If he wants to play that game, I’m leaving. It’s not like I have any other reason to hang around here. Finally standing, I head to the basement and refuse help down the stairs when Jonah and Justin offer it.

When I’m finally on my own, I stupidly go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet. Who knows, maybe when I left, Drew checked his phone, and he’ll change his mind. I certainly hope that’s what’s going to happen. But that hope starts to fade when five minutes turn to ten.

Furious, I send another message as both of my previous texts now show ‘read.’

Bella: Are you really going to leave me down here on my own?

That message is immediately read, but there’s no response. Not even the hint of typing. Have I got the right number, or am I texting some random dude? Just as I’m about to call, there’s a light knock on the door.

“It’s me.” Smooth as butter. That voice always gets me.

Jumping from the toilet, I hobble to the door and open it with a bright smile. Drew, unfortunately, doesn’t return it. But why would he? It’s not like I’ve given him anything to be excited about these past few weeks.

“Didn’t expect to see you drinking with the football players,” Drew says coldly. We’re back to where we began. With his face frozen and shoulders high from tension; it’s actually worse than when we started. At least then he could joke with me. Now it seems like we’re on two ships, sailing in opposite directions, because I gave him the wrong map.

“Not like I can move very fast.” I flick my cast with a slanted smile. “And I’ve been living here for the past few weeks, so where else would I be?”

“Downstairs, away from the football players that you supposedly hate.”

“I don’t hate all the players here.” With a forced smile, I elbow him in the ribs in an attempt to be playful. Drew sucks in a breath, moving away from any kind of connection. Why do I suck at being normal?

“Yeah. You and Jacob seem cozy. Is that why you pretended to be me? Because you wanted to find out if Jacob’s still hung up on his ex? I know all the girls are into him, but I didn’t think he was your type.”

Shaking my head, I raise my hands and laugh. “Woah, woah, woah. Where the hell did you get that idea from? I’m not interested in Jacob in the slightest. Like at all.”

“Could have fooled me.” He purses his lips and crosses his arms. If we were in a cartoon, steam would be coming out of his ears.

That’s when it hits me, and anticipation runs through my veins. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” I can’t hold back the smile because he’s definitely jealous. Drew McCallister can keep acting like the big guy on campus, but he can’t hide how he really feels.

“What’s there to be jealous of? Nothing is going on between us. Isn’t that why you asked me here? To reiterate that point. Crushing souls seems to be a habit of yours.”

“Ouch. No, that’s not the reason I asked.”

He raises his hand flippantly, pushing past me to get to the door. “You know what? It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway. I’ve moved on.”

I blink.

Is he going to start laughing to tell me that’s a joke?

Nothing.

I blink again.

“You’ve moved on?” I raise a brow, and the first thought that drifts through my head is Brianna. Of course he’d finally move on to a girl worthy of him. One that’s not afraid to shout from the rooftops that they’re together and perfect for each other. “With who?” Why do I want it confirmed? My heart already feels like it’s been squeezed of all its juices. Did I really need to decimate it into nothing?

Drew drops his hands and sighs. There’s a moment when I think maybe he’ll tell me he’s joking. That those five weeks weren’t long enough for him to get over me and that we should try again, but when he sighs, I know I’m wrong.

Soul-crushingly wrong.

“Is there something that you want, Bella? Because I need to go back upstairs before the team thinks I’m taking an extremely long dump.”

That’s all I am now. A steaming pile of potential shit, and it’s my fault. I pushed him away, so he’s pushing me right back. I guess I forgot just how eligible he was.

“I just wanted to apologize for how things went down between us.” Admitting my feelings to him now seems pointless, and I’m not a masochist. If I tell him, he’ll tell me he doesn’t feel the same, and then we’ll just end with this simmering awkward tension between us.

“Apology accepted.” Short and to the point. It’s like he switched his emotions off.

“Doesn’t feel like it,” I mutter, moving out of his way so he can leave. My eyes are burning. It’s the first time I’ve felt something for a guy that wasn’t embarrassment. Jimmy made a fool of me, but Drew’s made a mess of me, and I don’t think it can be fixed.

“What do you want me to do, Bella? Get down on my knees and praise you for being such a wholly wonderful person because you apologized for being an ass?”

“No, but -”

“Great. So, now that you’ve made yourself feel better, I’m heading out. Don’t want to miss the fourth quarter.”

He shuts the door behind him, not once looking back, and it’s then I realize how much I’ve fucked up. Just like always. Jacob was wrong. He doesn’t care about me anymore. This time, Drew really does hate me, and I hate myself for letting it get this far, but there’s nothing more I can do.