Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

In the four days since Ryland had informed Aurelia of the dinner they had been invited to attend at the Ridley house, she had only seen him a handful of times, each of those instances wrought with things unsaid and accompanied by other people. It was impossible to have a private conversation with the earl unless she sought him out while he was alone, which Aurelia was unwilling to do. It would be crossing a line she felt there was no coming back from.

To say nothing of the fact that Julia had yet to mention what she'd overheard in the library. Each day Mrs. Pike didn't approach Aurelia, she found herself a little more concerned than the last. She had begun to feel comfortable in the kitchens downstairs, taking her meals there consistently and chatting amiably with most of the other servants. Julia avoided her, but that was no different from before. The girl was quiet unless she believed herself alone enough to hum.

It was the worst possible time for anything to come in the way of Aurelia and the other servants. She had found friendship with Tilly, Jasper, Christopher, and Sally, and didn't want to jeopardize those fledgling relationships. Her days with Edmund were sweet and enjoyable. Her bedchamber was becoming more homey now that she had tidied it and scrubbed the interior of the window to allow more light. Through small, seemingly inconsequential things, Aurelia was making Tilton her home.

Aurelia pulled the thread through the fabric and yanked to ensure it was tight. She sat in the window of the schoolroom, creating a pillow with a tiger on it for Edmund while the boy was baking biscuits with his old nurse and the cook. He was especially fond of rolling the dough flat, or so he had informed Aurelia, and she was taking advantage of the time alone to work on his surprise.

Perhaps going to the kitchens would have been wiser, so she could have tried to find Julia.

If Mrs. Pike saw fit to dismiss her, would she have enough sway with Ryland to accomplish it? She could certainly forbid Aurelia from eating in the kitchens or spending time with the servants. Aurelia recalled a few years ago when her mother's lady's maid had left them for another house because she had difficulty taking orders from their housekeeper. It had been a shock for Mama to lose her maid, but what had surprised Aurelia at the time was how tensions had risen to such a level downstairs without anyone in their family being aware.

Aurelia had asked her maid to explain the situation to her one evening while preparing for dinner and discovered the depth of her na?vety. Aurelia had always liked Mrs. Humphries, their housekeeper but, after great persuasion, her maid had supplied an entire list of grievances most of the servants had with the woman. It was clear a housekeeper held much power. Even if Mrs. Pike didn't have the authority to dismiss Aurelia directly, she could change her life at Tilton and make it far less comfortable.

She needed to find Julia so they could discuss the moment in the library. It was better to cut the problem off at the root than let it fester. Waiting had become excruciating. But she would need to find her alone, and the only person who knew every schedule in the house was Mrs. Pike.

She pulled the orange thread through the fabric one more time, making certain it was snug, before folding the project and tucking the needle safely where she could easily find it again. Hiding it atop the bookcase, she dusted her hands on her skirt and went in search of the maid.

Only, that proved far more difficult than she expected. Julia was not in the library, drawing room, parlor, or any of the bedchambers on the first floor. Aurelia climbed the stairs to the second floor, worried she was running out of time. She made her way down the corridor, past Ryland's room and the other two nearby chambers, and came to a stop at the entrance to the long gallery, where Ryland was standing near a window, laying out fencing foils and wire masks on a table.

He glanced up, and a smile curved over his lips that made her stomach dip. He wore shirtsleeves and a waistcoat, his coat discarded in the deep window ledge. "Good afternoon."

"Forgive the intrusion. I was looking for Julia."

"I have not seen her today."

Aurelia nodded. She dipped into a curtsy as she turned to leave. "Good day, then, my lo?—"

"Wait."

She rose, heart racing. Had Providence handed her the opportunity to speak to Ryland alone? She ought to take advantage of this moment.

"If you need a fencing partner, I'm afraid I'm not qualified."

He chuckled, setting the foil down. "Samuel is on his way."

"A vastly superior partner."

"For this, yes. There are other things I think you would be much more qualified for."

She crossed her arms. "Like watching squirrels and checking the content of light in various rooms?"

Ryland barked a laugh, lifting two foils. "Neither of those were what I had in mind." He crossed the room and turned one of the handles, offering it to her. "Come."

Aurelia knew she could refuse him. He was not the sort of man to require her to do anything she did not want to do. Inherently, she understood this. It was also clear that spending more time with him was growing dangerous for her emotional state.

None of that mattered at the moment.

"Lesson one." He took a few steps back and pointed his foil at her feet. "Weight on your back foot, chin tipped up."

Aurelia did as she was told, then lifted her foil. "Then I hit you in the chest?"

"The right breast if you'd like to win."

Aurelia took a step forward, holding out her foil. The end was blunted, and Ryland did not seem the least inclined to raise his foil toward her. Mere inches from his chest, she lowered her point. "Why are you not participating?"

"I cannot lift a sword to you."

She scoffed. "This was your doing."

"Yes, but I did not consider that I would have to . . ." He gestured wildly at her with his hand, his dark eyes on her. "You know."

"Hit me?"

He cringed. "Precisely."

She raised her eyebrows, then stalked toward the table and put the foil down.

"You're giving up?"

"You gave up first," she argued. "I need to return to my duties." Like finding Julia before Edmund finished making his biscuits. Given how long she had already been hunting for the maid, she was running out of time. Maybe she needed Edmund's tracking skills to find the girl.

When she turned around, Ryland was pointing his foil directly at her heart. She went rigid, her pulse thrumming. She didn't feel the remotest bit of danger, but still her heart was beating rapidly. "You forfeited," she said.

Ryland took two steps toward her until the foil was inches from her chest. "When I touch you, I've won."

Aurelia took a step back.

Ryland followed her.

Her entire body was thrumming when her shoulder blade came in contact with the wall, precluding her from retreating any further. Ryland took another step closer, swiping his foil away and pointing it at the floor again. He stopped when his chest was nearly touching hers, his eyes beaming down at her. "I thought I could do it, but I cannot."

She could not help but chuckle. "You are being ridiculous."

"I thought I was being amusing, but I've managed to embarrass myself twice."

"It is not embarrassing to not have the heart to hit a woman."

"No, but that is not the issue." He swallowed. "I cannot hit you ."

She sucked in a breath, bringing a whiff of his cologne in. Was it the scent or his nearness that were making her lightheaded?

His gaze dropped to her lips. Her heart slammed against her breastbone.

Definitely his nearness.

"Excuse me, my lord?" a female said on the other side of the room.

Ryland closed his eyes briefly before stepping back, the foil still gripped in his hand, and faced Tilly. "Yes?"

Aurelia wanted to sink below the floorboards and hide.

Tilly had the grace not to look like she'd come upon anything out of the ordinary. "Edmund has gone into a panic."

Ryland moved toward the table at once, setting the foil down as he passed it. "Where is he?"

"In the schoolroom, sir."

He looked back at Aurelia when he reached the edge of the room. "Will you come with me?"

Her throat was dry, but she nodded, starting toward them.

Tilly stepped aside to let them pass, but she followed.

Ryland took Aurelia's hand and pulled her down the corridor, taking the main staircase up until reaching the floor with the schoolroom. Edmund's crying could be heard from the corridor.

Ryland pulled her to the opening and stepped inside, releasing her hand when he saw his son. "Edmund," he said, so tenderly that her heart squeezed. "What is it?"

Edmund looked between them, his gaze moving from his father to his governess. He jumped up and ran to Aurelia, knocking into her with force as his arms went tightly around her legs. "You are here."

She recovered quickly, rubbing his back while her fingers brushed through his hair. "Of course I am here, Edmund."

"I thought you were gone," he said, his voice tiny. "I could not find you."

Aurelia looked up and caught Ryland's eye. His brow was furrowed.

"I would not leave without telling you," she said with force.

He gave a shuddering breath, his tears slowing. "You promise?"

Aurelia removed his hold long enough to kneel on the floor and make her eyes level with his. "Yes. I promise. I will never leave you without saying goodbye."

Edmund relaxed into her. She put her arms around him and tugged him close, squeezing his little body while his panic retreated. Ryland stood behind them, looking torn.

"Do not fear, Edmund," he said softly, holding Aurelia's gaze. "As long as Miss Beswick would like to be your governess, she will remain here at Tilton with us."

The words felt like a wash of relief sluicing through her body. Emotion pricked at her eyes, but she dared not lower them in case Ryland missed the gratitude exuding from her. "Thank you," she said quietly.

He gave a stiff nod and stepped toward the door. "I need to prepare to meet with Samuel. I trust you have this in order."

Edmund still had not released her. She felt a rush of warmth and love for the boy. "I do."

Ryland cleared his throat. "We can cease our Monday meetings as well. You may come to me when you have a need, but I trust what you are doing here."

She did not know what to say. Disappointment streaked through her, quickly smothered by her relief. "Very well."

Ryland nodded again, looking between them, then walked from the room.

When Edmund had finally felt sufficiently restored and stepped from Aurelia's arms, she noticed Tilly waiting in the doorway.

"Don't worry," Tilly said quietly. "I don't plan to say anything to anyone about what I saw."

Aurelia felt uneasy—the secrets around her were growing and billowing and taking on a weight of their own. She looked down. "Edmund, will you look through The Tales of Mother Goose and select a story? I think it is a good time to read."

His cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright. "Can we read two stories? I think I need two stories to make me feel happy again."

She put two fists on her hips and looked at him with false sternness. "You mean my hug did not make you feel happy?"

"It did!" he promised. "But two stories would make me feel even happier."

She supposed a plate of biscuits would make him feel happiest, but swallowed that retort. "Very well. Choose two stories."

Edmund ran for the shelf across the room before she could change her mind. She met Tilly at the door. "It was nothing, Tilly. At least, I am not entirely certain what it was. I can promise I have done nothing to tempt or attract him."

"I am certain you've done plenty to attract the earl," Tilly replied, eyebrows lifted. "But perhaps not with intention."

Or had she? Was there anything Aurelia could have said or done differently to not be in that position? She could have walked away when she had first come upon him, of course.

"Regardless, I ought to have walked away."

"You are not like the rest of us, Miss Beswick. You are a lady in all the ways that matter. I do not care if you wear these simple gowns and eat in the kitchens—you are different. It is no surprise to me the earl has noticed, as well."

"You flatter me," she muttered.

"I speak the truth." Tilly turned away, grinning. "I promise you, I will not tell a soul."