Chapter 19

Daniel walked along the familiar aisles of the grocery store, deep in thought.

It had been a fairly uneventful morning. He and Sandy had been at the grocery store since it opened, making sure everything was well-stocked and running smoothly. Now they were getting ready to leave, trusting the running of the store to their employees.

Nothing had gone wrong that morning, but Daniel still felt worried, and there was a slight frown on his face. Sandy wasn't acting like herself, even though she had been working as hard as usual. She seemed distracted, and as though she had less energy than she usually did.

He turned around a corner and saw his wife kneeling in front of a shelf of pasta sauces, carefully rearranging the stock into neat rows. Instead of her usual serene expression, she was wincing, and her shoulders were hunched forward slightly.

"Are you all right?" He hurriedly crouched at her side, gazing at her in concern.

She lifted her eyebrows and offered him a brave smile, but he could tell that she wasn't feeling well. "Oh, I'm fine."

He shook his head as they both stood up. "I can tell that something's bothering you. You've seemed a little off for a few days now. How are you feeling?"

She shrugged, smiling again as if to show that it was nothing. "I'm just nauseous again.

It's probably whatever I ate that didn't agree with me."

He shook his head, frowning. He felt concerned, and he wished that she would treat herself with more care. "This is lasting too long to be an upset stomach from food poisoning," he said. "I think that you should go to the doctor. Get checked out. Then we can be sure it's nothing to worry about." He watched her press her lips together, resisting the idea. "Please?"

"Okay." She smiled at him. "I'll go for you. Thanks for the nudge. I know it's coming from a place of love."

"Oh, boy is it," he said, winking at her affectionately.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I'll call and make an appointment with the doctor soon. Don't you worry."

He smiled at her, feeling better. He was glad that she was willing to take his advice.

They left the store, telling their employees to give them a call if they were needed, and drove home together. Daniel glanced at his wife as he maneuvered the car through the streets of Blueberry Bay, noticing that she had a particularly thoughtful expression on her face.

Something is definitely on her mind, he thought, smiling at her affectionately even though she wasn't looking at him. I know that look. Those wheels are turning fast.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked her gently as he turned the car into their driveway.

She glanced at him, smiling, seeming to be emerging from a reverie. "I—well, I've been thinking about something that I've been meaning to ask you about."

"Yeah?" He parked the car, and turned to her, giving her his full attention. "What is it?"

"I've been thinking about fostering," she said slowly, her eyes on his face, "and what it's been like. It's been so great, but also so hard to always end up losing these kids. I was thinking about the future, and I…" She paused, a smile growing on her face. "I think I want to adopt, Daniel."

He listened to her words, nodding. Before he could say anything more, she said something else.

"And I'd like us to consider adopting Tommy."

His lips parted, but before he could say anything, she hurriedly said, "If that's what he wants, of course. I wanted to talk with you about it and see what you thought. Then we can bring it up to Tommy, if you feel the same way I do." She smiled tentatively, her eyes shining with hope.

His immediate gut reaction to the idea was a feeling of warmth and certainty in his bones. Nothing rose to his mind that caused him to hesitate. The idea felt right. Very right. A smile rose to his face as he quickly imagined what their future would look like if Tommy was their son.

"Tommy is a great kid." He took his wife's hand in his. "And you would make an incredible mother. I think that's a wonderful idea."

She grinned, her whole face lighting up when he said the words. "You do? Oh, Daniel, I think it could be so great for all of us."

He beamed at her. "You've been lighting up, having Tommy around. He makes your world brighter, I can tell. He makes mine brighter too." He gazed at her thoughtfully for a moment. "Even though you haven't been feeling well, it's like you've got this joy underneath your low energy. There's a light in your eyes."

She squeezed his hand, nodding. "I do want this. For all of us."

"I think you were always meant to be a mother, Sandy," he said softly. "You have so much love to give. I see that every time we foster a kid."

She reached her arms out for him and they hugged tightly.

"We should talk to Tommy about it soon," he said, and he could feel her smiling because her cheek was pressed against his.

"Yes, we should."

He felt his heart lift up at the idea. He had a strong premonition that their lives were about to change, and for the better.

* * *

Sunlight streamed across Alissa's kitchen table, dappling her notebook in flickers of gold. She sighed, tapping the edge of her pen against the pages as she adjusted her glasses. She was trying to come up with ideas for another book. So far, she had written nothing down.

It's probably just because I'm too excited about the shower, she thought. Her wedding shower was starting in another couple of hours, and she was eager for it to begin. She felt as if the day had an extra measure of happiness, an added rosy hue, to it—it was a day that she knew she would remember fondly forever.

But until the shower started, she had time to spare, and she wanted to make an attempt at coming up with ideas for a next book. I've got to tell this publishing company something, she thought, feeling a twist of stress in her stomach. They've already waited for an answer from me for so long.

She pressed her lips together, looking out the window. Outside, sunlight was glittering on the snow, which still clung to the bare branches of the apple tree right outside her window. There had been a luscious snowfall the night before, and Blueberry Bay had been transformed into a winter wonderland once again.

Maybe I should just go with an idea that I don't particularly like, she thought, but her heart rebelled at the idea. It wasn't that she couldn't come up with any ideas at all—she knew she could pick an idea out of a hat and run with it if she made herself do it—but none of the ideas that she'd come up with called to her. She didn't want to write a book unless it was beckoning to her, inviting her to explore it, create it, and nurture it. She felt sure her writing wouldn't be worth much if she wasn't inspired.

I could write a story about a woman who goes on a long journey,she thought, staring out the window. A ruby-red cardinal landed on a snow-covered branch and cocked his head at her. No, I don't like that. Why would she be traveling? Besides, I haven't traveled all that much. I don't think I would do that kind of story justice. And how would I introduce love into that? They want another love story, just like the first book.

She pressed her lips together, beginning to tap her pen against her blank notebook page again. At that moment, her phone began to ring. She saw that the caller was Dane, and she eagerly answered it.

"Hey, sweetheart!"

"Hey. Are you excited for your big day?"

She smiled. "Yes, I absolutely am. I can't wait."

"I went over there earlier to see what it looks like. It's beautiful."

She wiggled her toes happily, feeling another wave of excitement. "Isn't it? We set everything up last night. Caitlin and Josie and Paige and me. Caitlin is such a sweetheart, taking so much care to make this a special event for me."

"She loves you a lot. And, it just so happens, so do I."

"I love you too!" She felt a rush of warm happiness and closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the feeling of hearing his voice on the other end of the line. "I can't wait to marry you, Dane. I can't wait to start a life with you."

"I can't wait to marry you either, Alissa." His voice was a little hushed, and she smiled when she heard it. "You've made me so happy."

They talked for a while about all of their plans, creating castles in the air about what they hoped their new life together would be like. After a while, she got up to make herself a cup of tea while they talked.

"What are you doing right now?" he asked. "I can hear that trusty tea kettle whistling."

She laughed. "Yes, you're right. I'm still at home, since everything for the shower is ready. I was just trying to come up with some ideas for that new book they've asked me to write. But I can't come up with anything." She exhaled, feeling frustrated. "I feel like I keep running into a wall, and I don't know how to climb over it."

For a moment, Dane was quiet, and then he said, "That's okay."

"What?" she said, surprised by his words.

"It's okay that you're not coming up with ideas."

She blinked, her mouth open in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"You wrote a book, and that's an amazing thing. But that's something you've already done. I'll support you no matter what you decide to do, but you shouldn't feel like you have to write another book."

She took in his words, surprised by how much peace was washing over her at the thought.

"Maybe," he said, and she could tell he was smiling from the sound of his voice, "you don't feel like writing another love story because you're living your own right now."

Warm tears rushed into her eyes, and she blinked a few times. A smile spread across her face. She felt touched by his words.

"You're right," she said, taking a deep breath. She felt relieved, and as if a weight had lifted from her chest. "I just want to focus on living my own love story right now, not writing another one." Her voice got softer. "I just want to focus on you."

"What an honor." She could tell that he was smiling again, and her own smile widened.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I needed to hear that."

"Of course."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

For a moment, they lingered in the affectionate silence. She noticed that she had a mug of steaming water without a tea bag in it, but she decided to keep ignoring it for a little while.

"Can I see you later, after the shower?" he asked.

"Yes, please."

They chatted more about their plans for the day a little while longer, and she glanced at the clock and realized she should hang up.

"I'd better go. I've got to call Seashore Press and let them know I'm declining their offer."

They said goodbye and she hung up the phone, feeling as light as a feather. She plopped a bag of lavender tea into the steaming mug and dialed the phone number of the publishing company.

"Hi, this is Alissa Lewis." She took a deep breath. She didn't like letting people down, but she knew this was the best decision for her.

Once she'd been connected with the right person, she tried to decline the offer as politely as possible.

"I've given it a lot of thought, as you know," she told Chuck, laughing a little. "I'm sorry for the delay. Thank you very kindly for the offer, but I've decided to pass on it. I have too many other things going on in my life just now for me to write another book."

"We understand," he said. "Thank you for letting us know, and we wish you all the best."

They said polite goodbyes and hung up. She smiled, feeling sure that she had made the right decision. She felt lighter, and peaceful.

I can't say yes to everything,she thought, taking a sip of the fragrant tea. If you do, you end up taking time out of other important things. I would have had to give things up in order to take the time to write another book. I'd rather spend that time with Dane, and on working on my articles.

She grinned and glanced at the clock again, feeling a rush of excitement as she realized what time it was. She should leave for the shower soon so that she wouldn't be late.

A few minutes later, she was heading out the door, wearing a beautiful blue dress with long sleeves and quaint heels with a strap. She was smiling from ear to ear, ready to start her next adventure in earnest.