Chapter 10

Josie watched a white cloud trail slowly across a steely-blue sky. She was sitting at her desk at work, lost in thought. A steaming mug of tea rested near her elbow, and her planner was lying open on the desk in front of her, untouched by the three colored pens that she had lined up next to it.

It had been a few days since she had spoken to Wesley at Tidal Wave Coffee, and Josie had been pondering his kind words ever since.

It was like an echo of what Sandy told me,Josie thought, tapping her lips with her fingers as she thought. Both of them told me that it's a good thing to ask for help. Josie watched as a seagull darted in a wild, swooping path across the blue sky. Why am I resisting that idea so much?

Josie sighed. Help was good. She should be completely willing to ask for help—especially when she was surrounded by so many kind, wise people who were willing to lend her a hand. But somehow, whenever she imagined herself actually doing that—actually asking for help—it made her heart sink. She didn't want to do it.

It's because I don't want to talk about the past,Josie realized, pressing her lips together. In order to really ask for help with Paige, I have to tell people what's going on. I have to open up, and I find it really scary to do that.

She sighed, remembered her tea, and took a long, refreshing sip. I can't bury the past forever, she told herself firmly. And I'm just making things harder for myself and Paige by doing it.

Josie glanced at Alissa, who was clicking rapidly away at her computer, a bright pink pencil tucked behind her ear. Josie smiled at her friend and remembered how Alissa had wanted to know what was going on in Josie's personal life. Josie bit her lip, regretting that she had brushed aside Alissa's attempts at being supportive the way she had.

I'll talk to her on my lunch break, Josie decided, even though the thought made her squirm a little. I'll tell her what's been going on. It will be a good start for me. She took a deep breath, pleased with her decision.

Josie's lunch break arrived, and she took her Tupperware of mashed potatoes, peas, and seasoned meatloaf with a tomato sauce over to Alissa's desk.

"Hey. You want to each lunch with me?"

Alissa looked up, surprised. "Is it lunchtime?" She glanced at her clock, taking the pencil out from behind her ear. "I completely lost track of time."

"Got lost in the words, huh?"

"Yes." Alissa laughed. She took a deep breath, inhaling the fragrant aroma of Josie's lunch. "Oh, wow, that smells incredible. I didn't realize how hungry I am."

Alissa heated up her lunch—a penne Rosa pasta with grilled chicken that also smelled incredible—and the two women sat down together at a table by the window.

"I want to apologize," Josie said, taking a deep breath. "You asked me about my life, trying to help, and I shut you out on purpose. I want you to know it's nothing personal, Alissa. I don't like to open up to anybody."

Alissa nodded. She reached out and squeezed Josie's arm reassuringly. "It's okay, you don't need to apologize. I was disappointed that you didn't trust me enough to open up to me, but I understand."

Josie shook her head. "It isn't that, it's just—"

Alissa smiled at her friend. "Why don't you start at the beginning?"

Josie nodded, returning the smile. "Okay. I'm guessing you noticed Paige, my sister, at the Thanksgiving potluck. And I'm sure people are talking about the fact that she's living with me."

Her friend nodded. "I did see her there. She looks just like you!"

Josie smiled. "She does. She's a lot younger than me though, and I haven't seen her in a long time. Things are really hard right now, because I think she resents me for being absent from her life for so long."

Alissa listened intently while Josie kept talking, opening up about her concerns and her struggles. She explained a little about what things had been like growing up for her, and how they were for Paige. She explained that she'd wanted to be in her sister's life, but then felt shut out—and how she wished that she'd tried harder anyway and felt guilty about not looking out for Paige better as she was growing up. She felt uncomfortable as she spoke, worrying that she was sharing too much.

"I doubt myself," Josie confessed. "I feel like I don't know how to take care of her. She isn't opening up to me the way that I'd hoped. I don't know if it's just how things have to be right now, or if I'm doing something wrong."

Her friend shook her head. "I'm sure you're doing an incredible job. I don't think there's ever a perfect formula when it comes to people's relationships. Just love her, and keep loving her, and she's going to warm up to you eventually."

Josie smiled, already feeling better. And to think she'd been cheating herself out of the support of her friends all this time!

"I'm happy to help in any way that I can," Alissa assured her. "And I know Dane feels the same way. We have your back, Josie."

Josie beamed at her friend, and for a moment, the two women shared a smile. Josie felt closer to Alissa than she ever had before and was relieved that she'd finally made the choice to share what was going on with her.

For a couple of minutes, they ate together in companionable silence. Josie didn't have any more to say—at least not at the moment—and her friend didn't press her.

"As long as we're sharing things," Alissa said after a while, setting down her fork into what remained of her delicious pasta, "I have something I'd like to confide in you about as well."

"Please do!" Josie urged her, happy for a change of subject.

Her friend sighed, gazing out the window for a moment. "I got asked to write another book," she confessed.

"Alissa! That's amazing!" Josie's eyes sparkled, thrilled by the news. "Congratulations."

"It's not that exciting, I'm afraid. I don't know if I'm going to take the contract or not. I've been brainstorming like crazy, but I can't seem to come up with another idea."

Josie shook her head. "You're going to. That first book you wrote was excellent."

Her friend smiled but didn't seem so sure. "I don't know. I think maybe I just had the one book inside me, you know? Maybe if I was meant to write a whole bunch of books, I would be brimming with ideas by now."

"Well, one more isn't a whole bunch. It's just one more. And I'm sure you can come up with an amazing storyline for it—and a for a whole bunch more after that." She winked.

Alissa sighed. "But how do I go about coming up with ideas? It feels like the kind of thing I don't really have control over. I mean, unless I feel really inspired to write this book, maybe I just shouldn't do it."

Her friend nodded, listening intently. "I hear what you're saying. And I guess I don't have any definitive advice, but I feel confident you'll know what's best for you."

Alissa smiled. "Thanks. And the offer is coming at a tricky time. I'm so busy planning the wedding! Maybe it's just too much to think about."

The women continued to discuss Alissa's dilemma for a little while longer as they finished their meals.

"Thank you," Alissa said, smiling at her friend. "It was helpful to talk this through with someone. Get it off my chest. I need to get back to the publisher, so I've got to make a decision sooner rather than later."

Josie smiled back at her reassuringly. "You've got this. You'll know what to do."

The two women went back to their desks, both feeling satisfied with the food and their conversations. Josie felt as if her heart had lifted, almost as if a weight had been taken from her. She didn't feel as though she had to face her troubles alone anymore.

* * *

"Look at that, Pearl!" Caitlin squeezed her daughter's hand as she pointed up ahead. "Isn't it amazing?"

Pearl gazed at the moving lights display in front of the fire station as her jaw dropped open, and the awe written on her face made Caitlin's heart warm. The little girl watched in wonder as a lit reindeer bent its head to the ground and then lifted it again, seeming to sniff the air for snow. A glowing Santa Claus sat in his sleigh, waving and smiling a smile that was bright in more ways than one.

Pearl, Michael, and Caitlin were out for a winter walk around Blueberry Bay. Caitlin and Michael were walking on either side of Pearl, holding both her hands. They were all bundled up against the cold, wearing hats and scarves and gloves—or, pink mittens, in Pearl's case.

The little girl was having a wonderful time, gazing at every Christmas light display they came across as if she'd never seen one before.

"I can't wait for Christmas," she whispered. "How many more days is it?"

"Twenty-four," Michael told her.

"That many?" Pearl groaned. "Oh no."

Caitlin laughed. She was feeling happy—as light as a feather and warm down to her toes, despite the chilly air. It had snowed for the first time a couple of days ago, and the glistening blanket of white had added an aura of peace and freshness to the already beautiful town. She was feeling in a festive mood, and almost as eager for Christmas as Pearl seemed to be.

They continued their walk, listening to the sound of Christmas carols being played on a speaker in front of the barber shop. Michael and Pearl danced a little together on the sidewalk and Caitlin laughed as she tried to keep up.

They turned a corner, passing by a charming red brick house nestled between the barber's and the hardware store.

"What a darling building." Caitlin gazed at the dark green shutters and the latticed windows, thinking to herself that the house looked like a cottage out of a storybook. "Wouldn't it be nice to have a date there?"

"That's the music school," Michael told her, and she noticed the sign hanging on the door. "Sometimes people hold events there, since you're right—it is charming."

"It looks like a Christmas house," Pearl said. "There should be candy in the windows."

Caitlin laughed—and as she did, she was suddenly struck by an idea, as if it had fallen to her from heaven like a snowflake drifting down from the sky.

"That's it!" she exclaimed, squeezing Pearl's hand. "Thank you, sweetheart! You've just given Mommy a wonderful idea!"

"Oh. You're welcome." The little girl beamed, looking pleased. "Are you going to put candy in our windows?"

Caitlin shook her head. "No, but don't worry, you'll be getting candy in your stocking, young lady." She stared at the music school, the wheels in her mind turning.

"What's your idea?" Michael took a step closer to her as he asked.

"I know what I want to do in the off-season, when the cruise is on standby." She smiled, feeling excitement rushing through her and adding an extra flush of warmth to her cheeks. "I can transfer my business to a pop-up style dining experience during the winter months."

Her mind began to race, quickly calculating through the details of what she hoped to accomplish.

"I can partner with local businesses," she said, staring into space as the ideas took shape in her imagination. "I can rent their spaces for a very short term, to create a limited-time dining experience. I can keep finding new places to partner with—or I can rotate through the top locations, if they're interested in that."

Pearl leaned over to Michael and whispered, "Mommy is excited."

Caitlin laughed. "I am!" She and Michael shared a huge grin. "And the best part is, I don't have to start from scratch. I already have a lot of the elements I need from the Beyond the Sea Dinner Cruise. I'll need to do some things differently, obviously, and I'll want different themes, but—well, I feel like I'm halfway there already."

Michael laughed, his eyes shining at her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a kiss. "I knew you would get a great idea when you least expected it. Ideas are like that—they can't be tamed."

"They're like snowflakes," she told him, feeling swirls of happiness, and he laughed.

Pearl twirled around on the sidewalk, clearly having caught some of the adults' excitement. "Yay!"

"You were right," she said, squeezing Michael's hand. "Thank you for supporting me through this."

"Of course." He beamed at her. "I think this calls for a celebration. Should we all go get some hot cocoa?"