13. DANNY

Iwatched a couple of Seinfelds after Bruno suddenly went to bed. He had really suddenly decided to go, so suddenly that it wrong-footed me. I didn't think I did or said anything wrong. Maybe he just didn't want to drink more wine, like he said.

As I settled into the small bedroom designated as mine, I stripped off my clothes and slipped into a pair of shorts. At home, I always slept naked, but I thought it best to bring shorts so I wouldn't lumber around his apartment if I got up to go the bathroom in the night.

Making my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I couldn't shake the awareness of being in Bruno's territory. Everything from the arrangement of the toiletries to the scent of his soap felt like a glimpse into his world.

Just being nosey, I opened the bathroom cabinet and had a quick look-through. Among the items, I discovered a snapshot of Bruno's life, of any man's life.

A razor and shaving cream, hinting at Bruno's grooming routine. A bottle of cologne, and I put my nose to the top of the bottle to smell its scent. It was nice. A hairbrush and a comb. An electric shaver, which maybe he used for the nape of his neck, or, I don't know, maybe his belly or to trim his pubic hair. Toothpaste and dental floss. A bottle of moisturizer, nothing fancy. And then, last of all, an unopened tube of lubricant. This was the closest I had thus far come to the reality of Bruno's sexuality.

I took the tube out and read the instructions on the back:

Experience Intimate Pleasure with our amazing, premium water-based lubricant, specially formulated for the unique needs of gay sex and gay men's lives. Whether you're exploring new sensations or enhancing your existing sex life, our lubricant is designed to provide smooth and satisfying encounters every time.

Our lubricant is crafted with a water-based formula, offering a silky-smooth texture that mimics the body's natural juices. It's gentle on the skin, ensuring a comfortable and hassle-free experience.

Perfect for Anal Play: Created with anal pleasure in mind, our lubricant provides the ideal consistency for smooth and pleasurable anal sex.

Condom-Compatible: Our water-based lubricant is compatible with latex condoms, making it safe for use during protected intercourse. But it's also great for bareback bros who are on PrEP!

Apply Liberally: For anal penetration, apply a generous amount of our lubricant onto your fingertips and apply it to the desired area—

"Desired area." The words made me catch my breath. "Anal penetration." Did that mean your cock or the bottom's ass? I felt like I really was invading his privacy. A little ashamed, I put the unopened tube back in Bruno's bathroom cabinet and decided to mind my own business and get on with brushing my teeth.

After finishing up in the bathroom, I moved through the apartment, shutting off lights and preparing for bed. Re-entering my room, I saw quite how small the space was. The bed was hardly big enough to fit between the walls.

Lying on the bed, I realized its end was barely a few inches away from the wall so that my feet, if I straightened my knees, would touch the plasterboard. I allowed myself to relax, the softness of the sheets he had put on – not Bruno's kid's sheets, but ones he used himself – gentle on my form. Closing my eyes, I turned my face into the pillow, and I was aware of the scent of someone else's linen. In this case, the smell must have been Bruno's.

But I found myself unable to drift off to sleep. I lay awake for what felt like hours until I rolled over onto my back, opened my eyes, and stared into the darkness. Gradually, my vision acclimatized, and my gaze fixed on the ceiling above. As I replayed the events of the past two nights in my mind, everything seemed to blend together in a whirlwind of emotions and sensations. The fun-filled evening out with Bruno flashed before my eyes, my desire to go to the gay bar, our bodies on the dance floor, the first hints of a physical awkwardness between us. Then there was the night just gone, that sensation of the two of us on the couch, and his sudden retreat to bed, which I hadn't understood.

As I lay there in the darkness, I thought again of the tube of lubricant, its marketing spiel of "intimate pleasure,""new sensations,""anal play,""desired areas." I thought of Bruno applying it to his "desired area." Was I now the one desiring it? I thought of Marlon putting the lube over his hard cock, the two of them in bed, Marlon big, strong, and dark, Bruno small, more feminine, pale.

I thought of Marlon's hard penis pressing, lubed up, into Bruno's ass. What was that moment like when suddenly, he slipped inside? What did Bruno's face look like in that moment? Happy? Nervous? Did he gasp with pleasure, grunt with desire? Did he open his eyes to drink in the sight of the big man inside him? My cock was hard. Shit, my cock shouldn't be hard!

I closed my eyes again, determined to ignore the image and the erection. To my surprise, a second image flickered to life – a snapshot of the moment on the couch as we watched Seinfeld, my arm almost finding its way around Bruno's back. Had I known what I was doing? I don't think I had, but I had done it all the same. That was the thing that made Bruno get up and go to bed. Had he been uncomfortable? Or had he become horny?

The image lingered, close yet distant, intense but hazy, stirring something in me. What if I had acted differently? What if I had allowed myself to embrace the moment, to turn a gesture of affection into one of desire, of real physical connection? What if we had kissed? What if I had been a fucking man and leaned over and kissed him as I had a thousand times with girls back home?

The thought sent a jolt of shock through me. My eyes flew open. What the hell was happening to me? I shouldn't be kissing a man!

My decision to rise from the bed was impulsive. I needed not to be in that bed anymore. In the dimness of the late hour, I got up, pulled on my shorts, tucking my erection – it hadn't gone down at all – inside my shorts.

I went out of my bedroom into the living room. I navigated the still slightly unfamiliar spaces of the apartment, my form a shadow against the darkness that enveloped the area. I was thirsty. I wanted a glass of water.

As I ventured into the kitchen, the soft glow of a distant streetlight lightly illuminated the area, and suddenly, I realized there was another person there: Bruno.

His silhouette was bathed in the gentle, silvery light. It fell on his boyish body, naked but for pajama bottoms, his tiny waist, the deep small of his back, the light muscular of his back, the small but pert biceps of his arm. Night made his pale skin and hair look almost white. Oblivious to my presence, he had poured himself a glass of milk and stood facing the kitchen cabinets, drinking it.

"Dude," I whispered.

Bruno jumped at the unexpected sound, his eyes widening in surprise as he turned to face me. He slammed the glass of milk down. The sight of me standing made him groan.

"Fuck, man! Fuck!" He laughed. "Fuck, you scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry, man. We had the same idea."

He was looking at me. I could just about make out the features of his face.

"How do you mean?"

I pointed at the glass from which he had been drinking.

"I was thirsty, too."

He nodded in realization.

"Oh, I see. I'll pour you a glass."

He turned toward the refrigerator.

"No, I just wanted some water from the faucet." A nervous laugh escaped my lips. "Will we wake Evan?"

Bruno reassured me.

"It's fine. He's fast asleep," he said. "He sleeps like the dead, never wakes in the night."

"That's good."

"Yup," he said.

He got a glass out of the cabinet and poured me some water. I accepted the glass, the cool liquid quenching me. Yet, as I drank it, I couldn't shake my awareness of Bruno's half-naked body. His skin looked like cream in the near dark. In such dim light, my eyes traced the contours of his physique, slender and supple, especially next to mine, so big, so muscle-hard, so trained. The feelings, the desires, I had just been entertaining rushed back at me. Gradually, I realized that he was looking back at me.

I heard my own voice talking, saying something I had had no intention to say.

"I've never…you know…" His eyes were on me, very focused. "I've never done anything with a dude."

Bruno's gaze was gentle, understanding.

"Do you want to?" he asked.

I shrugged.

"I don't know."

He smiled and shook his head.

"We don't have to do anything," he said. "There's no expectation at all."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "We moved in as buds." I paused for a moment. "But I think I might want to."

"Have you thought about it before?"

I shook my head.

"Not really."

"You are into guys at all?"

Again, I shook my head.

"I've, like, jerked off to the odd bit of gay porn, but even then, not much.

Some strange confusion came over him.

"So why are we having this conversation?"

I was staring at him.

"There's something about…"

My voice faltered.

"About what?"

I knew I was staring at him very directly.

"About you, maybe, that makes me want to try it. I felt it last night when we were dancing. And tonight on the couch."

"I felt it too," he said.

His lips parted, and his eyes widened. The streetlight made them glow a pale silver.Bruno put his hand on my chest. We were gazing at each other in the semi-darkness. I realized only slowly that we were about to kiss.

He reached forward; I held my breath. The skin of his lips was soft, held very lightly against mine. I knew my cock was already erect. He moved against me, and I felt his the same. He hardly opened his mouth. I felt his breath. It was warm and sweet; it was a taste of him.

His hand fell to my penis, releasing it from my shorts, and closed around its hard head. Slowly, gently, he rubbed it in the depths of his palm. Still we were kissing, and he parted his lips a little more. His tongue flickered briefly against mine, but then his lips closed again, and he started to grip my cock all the hard, now fully jerking me off. I reached down to touch him, but he pulled away.

"Don't," he said.

I pulled back from his kiss a little. I wanted to share this moment with him.

"Why not?"

He laughed shyly.

"Because I'll cum straight away."

And just him saying it sent a shock wave through my body, and I groaned and said, "Oh, Bru…" Then my balls tightened, and my legs and stomach twitched; I was staring at his face, his beautiful face, and I shot my load right there in the darkness of his kitchen.

I must have cum all over his hand because he said, "It's so warm."

And then, I saw him pulse and realized that he was about to ejaculate, too, just briefly jerking off and then groaning. I felt his semen splatter on my feet. I had never felt a man's cum before, had never let a man touch my dick, never kissed a man. And yet here we were, gazing at each other, having just orgasmed in front of each other.

I leaned forward and kissed him again, and as we did, he giggled shyly and turned his face aside. I let my lips plant new kisses on his jaw and his cheek. He turned to look at me, the soft light glittering in his eyes.

"Let's go to bed." Then, his eyes widened, white in the darkness. "Our own beds."

I laughed and sighed and said okay. He turned and reached for some paper towels. It took me a moment to understand why. "Someone's got to clean up our cum," he joked.

I let my hands fall on his shoulder and run down his arm.

"It's on my feet."

He laughed and reached down and wiped my skin and cleaned my feet, and then he stood up and smiled at me. We grinned at each other in the night, and I turned, naked, knowing he was watching my body as I went.

And so I guess you could say: things had changed.