CHAPTER 57

It's been twelve weeks since I got out of the hospital.

Despite my utter devastation at needing to go on Lithium, by the third week after getting out of the hospital, I have to admit that it is making a difference in my life.

I take my meds daily, never skipping them, no matter how good I feel. My friends check up on me – Terri, Daniel and even Shawn.

I asked Hayden to attend Terri's support group with me. Luckily, no one cared about his high-profile public status. He held my hand and told the group how lucky he felt to have loved and been loved twice in one lifetime.

I told the group that I had never in my life felt truly loved or chosen until Hayden.

When I asked Terri where Sasha is, she said Sasha wouldn't be coming anymore, which was the best news because Sasha went home. She got her meds, and she went home to her family. Hayden stood by politely while I hugged Terri and cried with happiness that one of ours is making it through.

I'll be fully moved into Hayden's place soon. We've been taking it slow, moving a few items at a time, then staying over at his place some nights. Over the last few months, I've watched my stuff occupy more and more of his space, and I'm gradually becoming accustomed to seeing them there.

Evaline is ecstatic over my move into Hayden's place. She knows what happened with me – I asked Hayden to tell her – but she doesn't treat me any differently.

Today, we're moving my painting materials into the spare room we're turning into a studio. It's the biggest change I'll make, I think, and the thought terrifies me. Moving my art is, quite literally, moving my life. It's a commitment more paramount than moving my clothes and my toothbrush.

Hayden comes to stand behind me, kissing the side of my neck. "Are you staying the night?"

I laugh, turning in his arms. "I go where my art goes."

He smiles into our kiss. "I'm very grateful for your art."

I deepen our kiss. I still can't believe I found this man.

"Come, I want to show you something." Hayden pulls away and leads me down the hall. When we pass the living room, I take a second to admire the peace lily. It now sits on a side table near the window. Hayden waters it regularly.

Stopping at the gallery, he turns to me. "I'm so glad I met you, Levi," he says.

I kiss him. "I know. You tell me every day."

Inside the gallery, Levi points to the right wall.

There, my paintings hang proudly. All of them. Even—

I gasp. Turning to Hayden, my eyes brim with tears. "Are you sure, Hayden?"

"It's like you said. He deserves to be remembered."

I gaze up at the paintings I'd done of Nicholas. Then, throwing my arms around him, I hold him to me tightly. "He really, really does," I whisper.

A Place Not Found is also here. Along with all the other pieces I'd done over the last year.

"Thank you, Hayden."

"Thank you, Levi. I got lost with you in a place not found and I wouldn't change that for anything in this world."

I gaze up at him. I've never loved anyone as much as I love him. "I'll love you with the very best parts of me," I tell him.

He kisses my nose. "Please, Levi. Love me with the very worst parts of you too."

Tears fall down my cheeks. "Okay, Hayden."

"I love you, Levi," he whispers.

"I love you more," I say as I drag him out of the gallery and in the direction of his – our – bedroom.