Chapter Forty-Four

M rs. Bennet did her best to be tactful when explaining to Mr. Collins that Mr. Bennet would never allow him to have Jane as his wife, nor Elizabeth. "But Mary, Kitty, Lydia?" she offered, hopefully.

Shaking his head, Mr. Collins left Mrs. Bennet wringing her hands and went into the back garden to be alone with his thoughts. Mr. Bennet would never consent? Mr. Collins was stunned. Was he not in possession of an important post, rector to the extremely important Lady Catherine de Bourgh? Was he not the proud possessor of a large and comfortable cottage, separated only by a narrow lane from Rosings Park? And, most importantly, was he not the heir to this very estate, Longbourn? How could Mr. Bennet have the slightest doubt that he, Mr. Collins, was the best possible husband for any of his daughters? It was baffling.

He heard someone opening the back gate; looking up, he saw a young woman walking toward the house. He did not want to frighten her by allowing her to come upon him unexpectedly, so he rose to his feet as she approached.

They both hesitated; with no one nearby to introduce them, neither was willing to speak first. Finally, Mr. Collins, thinking that as a rector, he would be more likely to be forgiven for breaking the rules than a young lady, bowed low to her. "I beg your pardon, miss. Please allow me to introduce myself, as there is no one about to do the honours. I am Mr. Collins, Mr. Bennet's cousin."

"Oh!" Charlotte understood immediately; this was the man who would one day inherit Longbourn. She curtsied hastily. "I am Miss Lucas."

"I am glad to meet you, Miss Lucas. Are you here to visit the Bennets?" Of course she was; he felt like an idiot.

"I am, yes."

"Allow me to get the door for you, Miss Lucas." There, that was polite, was it not? He was always polite; how could he not be considered a good match for Miss Bennet?

"Thank you, Mr. Collins." She smiled at him.

The smile almost caused him to trip over his own feet. When had a young lady last smiled at him? None of the Bennet girls had smiled at him, not even once. How had he not noticed that?

Realising that she was waiting for him to open the door, he hastened to do so. Following Miss Lucas into the house, he listened closely as she greeted the Cook and thanked her for the apple cake recipe.

"Did your family enjoy it, Miss Lucas?" Cook asked.

"Very much!" Miss Lucas replied. "My family asked me to convey their thanks to you."

Mr. Collins was struck by Cook's tone of respect when she spoke to Miss Lucas, as well as Miss Lucas' kindness as she spoke with a servant. He thought rapidly. She was not a particularly handsome girl, this Miss Lucas, but she seemed eminently suitable to be a rector's wife. And he could not help thinking that it would be just recompense for the Bennets to one day lose their estate to Miss Lucas, who would then be Mrs. Collins.

Enamoured of this idea, he followed his chosen bride through the kitchen and the breakfast room and into the parlour, where his cousin Elizabeth formally introduced them, saying that Miss Lucas was her dearest friend.

He sat and listened to the conversation, contributing as often as he could to show Miss Lucas that he was a man of words, a man of consequence, a man she would be happy to marry.

Elizabeth, weary of Mr. Collins' endless interruptions, soon suggested to Charlotte that they go upstairs to see the new gown she had sewn. "Please excuse us, Mr. Collins," Elizabeth said, certain that Charlotte would be equally glad of the respite.

Mr. Collins rose and told Charlotte that he had been delighted – truly, absolutely delighted! – to make her acquaintance, and that he would wait here, in this very room, for her return.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at Charlotte as they went up the stairs. "Good Lord, that was worse than usual!" she said.

Charlotte was silent.

"Charlotte? Is something wrong?"

"You are not very polite to him," Charlotte said, mildly.

"Polite! If I were polite to him, he would never stop speaking, Charlotte."

"Still…"

"No, truly, we have listened to him rattle on for days now; you cannot begin to guess how wearying it is. And – wait until you hear this! – Mama confided to me that he wanted to marry Jane, but Papa would not permit it!"

"Is Jane not being courted by Mr. Bingley and Colonel Fitzwilliam?"

"Oh, Charlotte." Elizabeth's face dissolved into tears.

"Eliza! What is wrong?"

She could not tell Charlotte about Georgiana, of course, but she confided that Mr. Bingley had abandoned the field in favor of the Colonel, and then the Colonel and Mr. Darcy had left to go to London because of a family emergency.

"But they will return, will they not?"

"We do not know, Charlotte."

"But what did they say?" Charlotte insisted.

"The Colonel told Jane he would return."

"And Mr. Darcy?"

Elizabeth shook her head. She could not explain her feelings about Mr. Darcy without also explaining about Georgiana. It was better not to speak at all.

"I do not understand, Eliza," Charlotte said, blankly. "I know you and Mr. Darcy are not in a formal courtship, but it very much sounded that it was headed in that direction; is that not right?"

"Yes." Elizabeth's voice was unutterably sad.

"Do you love him?" Charlotte's voice was quiet.

"Charlotte…truly, I hardly know how I feel just now. I cannot speak of it."

Charlotte put a comforting arm around her friend's shoulders as they sat in silence. Finally, Charlotte said, tentatively, "So none of you has any interest in Mr. Collins?"

Elizabeth managed a rusty laugh. "Not even the slightest."

"Mary?"

"Mary might have been interested, had he not claimed that the Bible says that God moves in mysterious ways."

Charlotte wrinkled her brow in thought. "I do not think the Bible does say that, though the phrase sounds familiar."

"Yes; it comes from a hymn written by William Cowper."

"And because of this, Mary will not marry him?" Charlotte's voice was tart.

"Well, in fairness, he then told her that she is a heathen damned for eternity for not reading her Bible."

"I can see how that might have been rather off-putting, particularly since Mary reads nothing but the Bible." Charlotte covered her mouth with her hand, trying not to laugh.

Elizabeth continued, "In any case, he is not interested in Mary. So far, it is only Jane he wished to marry."

"Jane will never marry Mr. Collins."

"No; and Papa told Mama to tell Mr. Collins that he could have neither Jane nor myself."

"Well, then, Eliza, may I have him?"

"Wait – Mr. Collins?"

"Yes."

"You want him? He is not a muffin that I can simply pass down the dinner table, but you are welcome to him if you truly want him." Elizabeth's voice was confused, even as she tried for levity.

"I happen to be in need of a muffin," Charlotte said.

And the two girls began to laugh, unable to stop As soon as one began to quiet, the other would whisper, "Muffin!" which set them off again.

***

Mr. Collins waited for some time in the parlour. He was content to wait, picturing Miss Lucas in the parsonage, serving him tea, passing sandwiches, listening admiringly to his sermons. It was a very compelling vision indeed, and he could scarcely wait to make it a reality.

How did one proceed, though? He could hardly ask a young lady he had just met to be his wife, could he?

His musings were interrupted by the entrance of Mrs. Bennet, who offered him refreshments. He accepted happily, only half-listening to Mrs. Bennet's complaints about the butcher's boy, his ear cocked for the return of Miss Lucas.

Then he had an idea. "Mrs. Bennet, you may not know that Miss Lucas is here."

"Oh, Charlotte? I am not surprised, she and Lizzy are always visiting one another."

Charlotte! What a lovely name! "She seems a good sort of girl," he said.

"Charlotte? Oh, the best heart in the world; it is a shame she is so plain."

Plain? He knew she was not beautiful, but he had not thought her plain. He certainly could not marry a plain girl; he deserved better.

Mrs. Bennet continued, "Of course, everyone is plain compared with Jane."

Oh, that was different. So not really plain, just plain compared with Miss Bennet. Just then, Elizabeth and Charlotte descended the stairs, laughing softly together.

He stood up when they entered. Miss Lucas addressed him immediately. "Mr. Collins, my mother will want you to join us for dinner at Lucas Lodge; would tomorrow be too soon?"

"Oh! How very gracious! Your mother must be kindness itself! Tomorrow? Tomorrow would be delightful, Miss Lucas."

Charlotte assured him that they would be very happy to see him then. As she bade the Bennets adieu, she could not miss Mrs. Bennet's narrowed eyes.