Chapter Thirty-Nine

M r. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam returned to Netherfield from their early visit to Longbourn in time to hear Mr. Bingley and his younger sister arguing in the drawing room.

"I will travel to London with Mr. Darcy," she was heard to say.

"You most certainly will not," was her brother's response.

"And why not, I should like to know? His carriage is far more comfortable than ours."

"To start, it is not our carriage, Caroline, it is mine . If you wish a carriage of your own, you may purchase it once you are in London."

"But if we are all going to London together –"

"Will you not listen, Caroline? We are not all going to London together. You and I are going to London to find lodgings for you as soon as you have finished packing. The Colonel and Darcy are going to London – quite separately from us! – on family business, as you heard this morning."

The Colonel had heard quite enough. He walked into the drawing room.

"Oh, Colonel!" Miss Bingley fluttered. "I was just saying to my brother –"

"I heard you, Miss Bingley. Darcy and I are leaving even now. Darcy's valet has already departed with our luggage. I thank you for your hospitality, Miss Bingley; it has been most…educational." With that, he bowed and walked out.

Mr. Darcy realised that he, too, must thank his hostess. Truly, where was his mind? He could not seem to focus on anything for more than a minute. He entered the drawing room just as his cousin was leaving it.

"Bingley, I thank you for your kindness. Netherfield Park is a fine estate and would benefit from having a permanent resident, rather than being leased out." He then turned to Miss Bingley. "Miss Bingley, I thank you for your hospitality and wish you a pleasant stay in London."

Miss Bingley knew Mr. Darcy was lost to her, but she knew a connection with the Darcy family could still benefit her. "Mr. Darcy, I hope that Georgiana – Miss Darcy – is at Darcy House, so that I might pay her a visit."

His expression turned icy. "Miss Darcy will not be at Darcy House, Miss Bingley." And with that, he bowed and left. He heard her say, "Well! Of all the –"

And then Mr. Bingley said, "You just never learn, Caroline."

***

In his cousin's coach, headed for Town, the Colonel asked, "Do you think Bingley will actually manage to get his sister to London?"

Darcy stared out the window as if he had not heard.

"Darcy!"

"Yes?"

"Did you not hear me?"

Mr. Darcy passed his hand over his eyes. "I am sorry, Richard; I cannot seem to think clearly today."

He is in some sort of stupor, the Colonel thought. He had certainly seen his share of this condition before – in its worst form, on the battlefield – but had never before encountered it in civilian life. Doubtless this was a reaction to the upcoming meeting with Georgiana; perhaps he could distract the man.

"Darcy."

Silence.

"Darcy, tell me about Miss Elizabeth."

"What?"

"Miss Elizabeth. Tell me about her."

"I asked her for a courtship and she said that a heart filled with rage has no room for love."

"What? Rage? I am not certain I understand you, Darcy."

"She knows that I am angry with Georgiana."

"Angry? With Georgiana?" The Colonel's voice was puzzled.

Mr. Darcy turned to face his cousin. "Richard, I am…I am so furious with Georgiana that I can scarce think about it."

Of course, he must be; I am a fool, the Colonel thought. "I had not considered that; I understand."

"Do you?" Mr. Darcy turned to face Richard as the carriage swayed. "Do you understand? I gave her everything that I could think of. Books? Anything she wanted. Music? The best masters and a copy of any music sheet she wanted. Clothing? She has things she has never even worn. A horse? She has the most beautiful mare with the most exceptional bloodlines you can imagine. Love? Attention? I showered her with love and attention, Richard, with everything I had in me. And what does she do, the moment my back is turned?"

His voice became a cry of agony. "She runs off! And not just with anyone, no, with the worst scoundrel in all of England, making the Darcy name a laughingstock, making me a laughingstock! What was she running away from, Richard? From the most beautiful home in northern England, from a brother who adored her, from everything and anything that anyone could possibly want? And as a result, she caused me to be foresworn on the vow I made to my father, as he lay dying! Yes, I am enraged, and I do not know if I can trust myself to not unleash that rage when I see her."

There was a long silence.

"I am sorry, Cousin, I should have anticipated this," the Colonel finally said, quietly.

"How could you have done so? I did not anticipate it myself, and I did not even realise I felt that way until I spoke with Miss Elizabeth in Longbourn's garden. I thought what I felt was sadness, misery, anguish, and I did feel that – all of it – but then beneath it all was rage."

"You must talk with Georgiana, cousin. Tell her how you feel and listen to how she feels. If you cannot let this poison out of your heart, then you have no chance with Miss Elizabeth."

Mr. Darcy turned his face to his cousin, his face tormented. "I fear that I will lose her, Richard."