25. Ivy

25

IVY

I was a hamster on a wheel. Running and running and staying in the exact same place.

Robyn got the bare bones of an IEP I threw together during recess and I promised to walk her through the rest tomorrow. I was on cafeteria duty for lunch and then when I finally thought I could get back to my own work after school, Jeff stuck his head into my classroom.

“Fundraising initiatives. Can you get the ball rolling on that? You’ve done a lot of that sort of thing for the town, haven’t you?”

I think he was referring to all the festival participation Stanley had unwillingly roped me into.

“S-sure.”

He clicked his fingers appreciatively. “Knew I could count on you.”

My to-do list resembled a CVS receipt at this point.

Rome came by at 5:00 p.m., made sure the corridors, classroom and outside the window were all clear before kissing me stupid.

“Missed you.”

I sighed, feeling warm for the first time all day.

“Ready to head off?” he said, lightly massaging the nape of my neck and turning me into a happy little puddle.

My incomplete planning documents mocked me from my desk.

“I’ve still got a lot to do.” I rubbed his stubbled cheek affectionately. “You go though.”

“Not without you,” he said stubbornly.

“I won’t be long. Promise.”

He gave me a piercing look, kissed me again and grudgingly left.

My solar system lesson plans consumed the rest of my evening. I tapped my pen on my chin, wondering how I could get a scale model exercise going. Maybe using buttons and string for each student? I made a mental note to talk to Lucy and see if she had any spare buttons I could steal. My supply closet had been limping along on hopes and dreams since last semester, my roll of brown craft paper a sad little tube and rationing Post-it notes like they were made of gold. I wondered if I’d be able to get one last big wall project out of it.

It only served as a reminder that the grant was being announced in a matter of days. But just in case, I’d better think of some ideas that did not require me dipping into supplies.

Kids, close your eyes and imagine you’re an astronaut!

It was almost 8:30 p.m. when I looked at the time again. Where had my evening gone? I hadn’t even started thinking about fundraising ideas for Jeff. I rubbed my eyes, wincing when I saw a barrage of texts from my pack.

5:17PM

JAMES

Hope you had a good day! I had TWO anxious poopers today

LOGAN

Why would you share this

JAMES

For anyone out there listening so they feel less alone

6:33PM

ROME

Have you left yet, baby?

JAMES

I’m in the kitchen

ROME

I am CLEARLY not talking to you

LOGAN

Are you inviting me over Rome? Because I think of you as a pack brother nothing more

JAMES

Hahahaha

6:35PM

ROME

Did James just run next door?

LOGAN

Yes. To high five me

ROME

This chat is dumb whose idea was it

7:02PM

ROME

Baby please tell me you’re leaving soon. You have to be getting hungry, right?

JAMES

Ivy, come by for dinner if you want. I’m making chicken and rice.

He’d added the cutest photo of himself grinning at the stove in front of a huge stockpot.

7:13PM

LOGAN

Princess, do you normally work this late?

I don’t know what James has done to this chicken but it’s so good if you don’t get here I’m going to eat it all

JAMES

He’s lying, he already put aside a plate for you

7:45PM

ROME

We’re getting worried baby

Text us when you see this

8:19PM

Logan unsent a message.

Rome unsent a message.

Rome unsent a message.

Logan unsent a message.

JAMES

Ignore the alphas being…alphas. Sweetheart, I know you probably just got caught up in your work. But please let us know when you’re leaving.

They were adorable and hilarious and I’d missed all of it.

I’m so sorry, I lost track of time!

I’m leaving now, I promise!

Before I got in the car, I sent them a tired selfie, both as proof of life and showing that I was actually on my way home.

ROME

Thank god

LOGAN

Next time ask one of us to come walk you to your car, it’s too dark

I glanced up at the bright glare of the streetlamps. Stanley could be a bit much but he was fanatical about making sure safety standards were exceeded in our town.

But then I would have to wait around longer.

I added the emoji with the biggest sad face.

LOGAN

Ok fuck don’t do that

Drive safe

JAMES

I’ll cook for you again another night

It started to rain as I pulled out of SGS, hammering noisily on my windshield. The miserable weather sapped any remaining energy I might have had left as I ran up my front steps, feeling like a drowned rat by the time I made it inside.

I definitely wished I hadn’t missed out on dinner with the others now. I grabbed myself some crackers, cheese and made a cup-a-soup (did that count as a hot dinner?) and sank into the couch in front of an old episode of The Grand Sugar Rush Showdown .

I’m really tired so will probably have an early night

Good night

I added three kissy faces (one for each of them obviously), and fell asleep as the judges were fighting over meringue. The entire rest of the season had happily finished streaming in the background by the time I jerked awake at 11:00 p.m. I pointedly ignored the drool puddle I had created on my cushion, dragged myself to my nest and passed out again.

The rest of the week didn’t improve very much. Rome made a habit of stopping by at the end of the day, urging me to leave when he did. It became easier to not argue and take the work home with me instead. But the things I couldn’t do from home — like laminating cards and printing handouts — I left for when I snuck in earlier in the morning. It was rough trying to whip my body back to its previous efficiency after it had been lounging in holiday mode for two weeks.

But despite my late nights and early mornings, something still managed to fall through the cracks. I had completely forgotten I needed math blocks for my morning lesson and another teacher had already reserved them. I pivoted to the best of my ability but I could’ve done better. Should’ve done better. Inside I was berating myself, upset that I’d let something like this happen.

It just wasn’t like me.

My Thursday evening was spent pretending I knew a lick of graphic design, making flyers for an art auction and read-a-thon. I was extra mad as I clicked through cartoon stock photos of books because I had sent Jeff a bunch of fundraising ideas yesterday and all he replied with was ‘yes’.

I was more than happy to abandon it when there was a knock on my door.

“Surprise!”

Rome, James and Logan. My heart gave a little pitter patter seeing them all together after a long week.

But the true object of my affection was the bag of Chinese takeout James was holding.

“Did you get new jobs as delivery boys at Red Lantern without telling me?” I said with an arch of my brow.

Before Rome and Logan could answer, James jumped in. “Maybe. Would you still date us?”

I pretended to consider it. “Only if you brought orange chicken.”

James pumped his fist. “You two can wait outside, that was my pick,” he said, before trying to close the door on two outraged alphas.

“Ivy, we’ve missed you,” Logan grunted, shoving his way past James. “And you weren’t answering.”

I wasn’t answering? I winced as I finally noticed the flood of missed texts. Again.

“I didn’t even realize it was so late,” I said feebly. Their timing was perfect as I had drunk my last cup-a-soup yesterday. I was keeping that fact to myself as I didn’t think they would approve of my dietary habits.

They made themselves at home easily, fishing plates and cutlery from my cupboards. It only made me feel worse that I had seen so little of them.

“First week back is always manic,” I said quietly, wanting to explain myself. “Especially since I didn’t do any of my usual prep work leading up to the first day.” I stroked Logan’s arm reassuringly and he wrapped me tightly against him. “I’m still adjusting to pack life as well. Bear with me, please?”

Rome lifted the back of my hand to his lips. “You know we’re always here to help,” he offered.

I knew he meant well but it didn’t seem feasible. I wasn’t about to put Logan and James to work cutting out flash cards after they’d already worked all day, Plus, it wasn’t like I could hand my reports and assessments over to Rome.

Nevertheless, I gave them a smile. “Stay in my nest tonight?” I asked. That should help the undercurrent of tension I was feeling and slight bitter edge of their scents.

The effect was immediate, their shoulders loosening as they reached out to touch me. Reconnecting in my nest was what we needed, even if it was just for sleep. Simple. Doable. Right?

I was sure I could manage everything.