Chapter 28

Hannah paced her room, unable to still her racing heart. History was going to repeat itself again. She thought everything would be different this time because William was different from him, but even that might not be enough to save her from another heartbreak.

She paused, willing herself to take a slow, deep breath. Getting worked up about the matter would not help her or Henry, but it was difficult not to recall the heartache that plagued her youth. Philip had been her first love and older than her by a few years. Hannah had truly been smitten with him and believed he had been interested enough to marry her.

That all changed when people started voicing their opinions about her, calling her an immature woman who wasn’t worthy of him. Philip believed them and ended their courtship, devastating her. It took months before she discovered it had all been a plan by someone she called a friend, a woman who wanted him for herself.

This time, no one wanted William, but they wanted Henry, her sweet nephew. Hannah didn’t think she could go against her family just to ensure her own happiness, but her heart ached just thinking about losing William. She wasn’t foolish enough to take Lady Ruth’s warning lightly—the young woman meant every word.

However, she wouldn’t let Lady Ruth believe she was intimidated because she wasn’t. Hannah had promised herself long ago that she would never allow anyone to make her feel worthless and small, no matter what they said or did. While she was worried about losing William, that didn’t mean she was afraid of Lady Ruth. Hannah was merely concerned about the consequences of the younger woman’s actions.

“I should have trusted my instincts the moment I met her,” Hannah mumbled, resuming her pacing.

Her initial impression of the woman had not been good. Lady Ruth had struck her as a manipulative and spoiled woman. Her smiles had been practiced, her voice always sounded too controlled for Hannah’s liking, and her friendship with Juliana seemed one-sided. However, she had given the woman the benefit of the doubt and allowed for a second impression.

Henry had always been a good judge of character, so when he began courting her, Hannah assumed her initial judgement had been wrong and started to think kindly of the woman. She should have just stuck to what she had seen during their first meeting. Perhaps Hannah wouldn’t have been in this mess if she had warned her family about Lady Ruth.

A servant knocked and entered the room, briefly curtsying. “Lady Ruth and Mr Bartlett have left the house, My Lady.”

“Good riddance,” Hannah muttered. “Thank you, Jane,” she said, speaking louder. “I would like some of Miss Barnes’ soothing tea. Could you find Miss Ayres and ask her for the tea leaves? Tell her I’ll purchase whatever stock she has on hand.”

Miss Ayres had taken over producing the teas, ointments, and other remedies in Miss Barnes’ stead. The women really worked as a team, but lately, Hannah had noticed something else between them. It wasn’t so much Miss Barnes but Miss Ayres who seemed to have inappropriate affections.

Hannah wasn’t one to judge anyone; indeed, she had a friend who secretly had a female lover, but she didn’t know how her nephew would react. He was rather traditional and might take offence, although he wasn’t necessarily judgemental. Since it wasn’t her place to discuss such a delicate matter, she preferred to ignore it.

“Miss Ayres is out at the moment, but I shall speak to her as soon as she returns, My Lady,” the servant replied.

“Very well,” said Hannah. “You can get me my usual tea in the meantime. Add a few biscuits.”

The servant nodded. “Yes, My Lady.”

Hannah was soon alone, but instead of pacing, she sank into her bed, clutching a pillow to her face. She needed to quickly think of a way out of her predicament, or Lady Ruth would ruin many lives. Henry didn’t deserve to be with a woman like her—he deserved better.

Rebecca would have been the perfect woman, but she was a commoner. No one in their circle would accept her. Even as the Duchess of Dorset, they would likely treat her like a leper. The kind woman would need a miracle for the ton leeches to accept her.

“Think, Hannah, think,” she murmured, rolling onto her belly.

Her dress got caught under her legs, so she partially lifted her body and pulled it out from under her, kicking her shoes off in the process. She sniffed the bed covers, smiling at the hint of jasmine. Miss Barnes had taken to scenting the rooms according to whatever fragrance made them feel most at ease.

It wasn’t her responsibility to concern herself with such things, but she always went above and beyond to ensure everyone was happy. Hannah would not have minded having her as a niece-in-law, but even she understood that a duke marrying a commoner would never be accepted. If only the circumstances were different.

However, no matter what, Hannah wouldn’t allow Lady Ruth to use her to get to Henry. That only left her with two options: she waited for William to end the courtship and break her heart, or she ended it first to save her pride. Her heart would be in tatters, but at least she would have ended their courtship.

Tears soaked Hannah’s pillow as she finally allowed them to fall. Those were really not options at all, but she had no choice. Either way, she would lose the man she loved, but at least Lady Ruth would not get her way with trapping Henry. The sooner she dealt with the matter, the sooner she could resume her life. William wouldn’t be in it, but perhaps she wasn’t supposed to be happy like that. Some women were just meant to live their lives alone.

Sniffing, she slid off her bed and padded to her writing desk. She needed to see William in person and end their courtship. He deserved that from her.

***

Hannah fidgeted as she waited for William the following day. She had asked him to meet her at their usual spot in the park. Perhaps she should have chosen another place but meeting him for the last time in a place they both loved was right. She just hoped he wouldn’t despise her.

“Hannah,” she heard him say, her lower belly fluttering at his voice.

She turned to him, admiring his athletic physique. William had not allowed age to dictate how he should look, choosing to spend much of his time doing activities that kept him on his feet. At fifty-eight, he was still a handsome man who only looked more distinguished with the grays running through his hair.

“How are you, William?” she said, letting him kiss her gloved hand.

“Better now that I have seen you,” he replied, grinning. “Shall we?” he asked, indicating the bench.

“If you do not mind, I would prefer to stand,” she said apologetically.

Hannah didn’t want to prolong the matter by getting comfortable. It was hard enough looking at him and knowing what she was about to do. However, it was necessary.

“What is it, my dear?” he asked, frowning. “You appear flustered. Did something happen?”

Hannah meshed her lips together, tears pricking the back of her eyes. “Nothing is wrong, William,” she said, glad her voice was stable. “I just need to tell you something important.”

He frowned. “Yes, your letter did say you wished to discuss something with me. I cannot deny being somewhat worried.”

She didn’t blame him. “I am sorry, William,” she said, her voice lowering as her emotion threatened to overwhelm her.

Instead, she focused on the cold winter air, the bare trees, the hard ground beneath her, and the beating of her heart.

“Why are you sorry?” William asked. “What happened? What are you trying to say?”

The fear in his voice matched the one in her heart. Drawing her manteau closer to her body, she tilted her head back and stared into William’s lovely eyes.

“This is the end of our courtship,” she told him, putting as much coldness in her voice as she could muster. “I hope we can part amicably.”

William’s jaw dropped. “What? I don’t understand.”

The hurt and confusion in his eyes weakened her slightly but recalling why she had to do this strengthened her. Her family needed her, and that was that. At forty-six, Hannah had lived a longer life than her nephew. Henry deserved a chance to be happy, but that would not happen with Lady Ruth hovering around him.

“You are a wonderful man, but I do not see this courtship progressing any further than it already has,” she explained.

William shook his head. “No, no,” he said. “This is too sudden, Hannah. This is not you speaking. Did someone say something to you? That’s it, isn’t it? Well, I do not accept it. I will not end our courtship. You know how I feel about you.”

He tried to take her hand, but she quickly stepped away. Hannah didn’t think she would be able to bear him touching her. She was already on the brink of breaking down and crying.

“I’m not going to argue about this, William,” she told him. “I no longer wish to be courted by you. I cannot see a future for us, and I hate to waste my time. Simply accept this and move on.”

“No,” William cried.

“Yes,” she countered. “This is my decision. I have the right to end our courtship if I choose to.”

William roughly rubbed his face, his frustration showing. “This is all wrong,” he said more to himself. “Do you truly feel nothing for me?” he asked her. “Am I the only one with feelings in this relationship?”

Hannah’s heart squeezed so tightly that she could hardly breathe. If only he knew how much she loved him, but she couldn’t pursue her happiness at the cost of her nephew’s future. Someone had to make a sacrifice, and she had chosen to do it.

“I apologize for upsetting you,” she began.

“Upsetting me?” William said incredulously. “You’re breaking my heart, Hannah! You’re shattering me, and I do not know why. I know you feel the same way, so I cannot understand why you’re ending things. Is it something I did wrong?” he asked, grabbing her shoulders. “Tell me, and I’ll make it right!”

“No!” she exclaimed, pulling herself away.

She looked around, worried her outburst had attracted attention. Fortunately, not many people were about, and those close enough didn’t seem to notice their argument.

“You need to move on, William,” she said, her voice shaking slightly. “This is the way it has to be. If you have any affection for me, you’ll respect my wishes.”

“But, Hannah—”

She shook her head. “No,” she said, taking a step back. “Goodbye, William.”

She turned and fled, no longer able to hold her tears. Hannah didn’t know how she managed to reach her carriage when she could hardly see through her salty tears, but she was glad once she was settled inside and could weep with no one to see her. She managed to control her emotions by the time she arrived home but was in no condition to see anyone, so she pleaded a headache and took to her bed.

As she lay staring at the ceiling, Hannah wondered if she should say something to her nephew. Henry deserved to know that Lady Ruth was manipulative but was uncertain if it was her place to do so.

“No, I cannot tell him,” she whispered.

It was Lady Ruth’s word against hers. The woman was still friends with Juliana, which could work against Hannah. Her niece and nephew might even feel she was meddling in their lives. She would just have to keep them safe from Lady Ruth’s trickery without their knowledge.