Chapter 14

The following weeks passed well in Dorchester Place. Rebecca had settled in well, Lady Oakham’s health was improving, and Tommy had put on significant weight and seemed more like the happy baby he should be. Rebecca oversaw what the countess ate and had her do mindful tasks like writing about her feelings daily and walking after meals to aid digestion.

Lady Hannah had wanted to be part of the routine to help her niece improve, but she was so preoccupied with Mr Cruikshanks that she rarely had a free day. The pair were officially courting despite one of his children being against the relationship. Apparently, Lady Hannah was too flamboyant and childish for a distinguished man like Mr Cruikshanks.

It made Rebecca laugh to know that someone believed Lady Hannah wasn’t good enough for their father. Anyone would be fortunate to have such a wonderful woman in their life, and Mr Cruikshanks was evidently aware because he had chosen her over his child’s opinion.

“He’s a good man,” she said, nodding her head. “And you are doing so well, my sweet pumpkin,” she said to the baby.

He squealed, kicking his legs and arms. She had placed him on the floor and given him various items to hold and familiarize himself with the textures. Rebecca wanted to ensure his development was progressing smoothly.

Malnutrition in the early months of life was dangerous for babies, and it had worried her that he wouldn’t grow as other babies did. Fortunately, that wasn’t the situation, but Rebecca still wanted to keep him progressing and being the best he could be.

“Should we go and see your mother?” she said, letting him grab her finger.

Rebecca thought about the countess’ mood and decided against it. Lady Oakham had asked not to be disturbed for the remainder of the afternoon. Although the bond between mother and baby was growing beautifully, there was still so much to learn and overcome. Fortunately, Rebecca had picked up on a concerning matter regarding the countess. The woman had managed to hide it well, but her resistance to healing alerted Rebecca to something that went beyond her grief.

Sometimes, after birthing their baby, Rebecca noticed that some women grew melancholic, wept uncontrollably, withdrew from their loved ones and the world around them, were usually highly critical of themselves, and lacked motivation to take care of themselves. Lady Oakham had managed to hide most of her symptoms because she was taught to hide her emotions and not allow others to see her suffering beyond the accepted amount.

However, she had slowly been unravelling around Rebecca, revealing what was plaguing her mind. The countess wasn’t ready to release her feelings to begin her healing process, but Rebecca believed she would soon. She wasn’t so confident about the duke.

“Perhaps you can bring a smile to your uncle today,” she said, holding Tommy around the waist and bringing him to his feet. “Look how strong you are.”

Tommy seemed to enjoy being on his feet, but he got too excited and lifted his feet off the ground. Fortunately, she had anticipated the movement and righted him before his face reached the floor.

“Goodness!” she cried, smiling when he started giggling. “I’m glad you find this amusing. My heart nearly left my chest! You’re getting stronger and stronger every day, My Lord. The day you start crawling ... well, I think I better put measures in place to protect you and everything else in this house.”

She should speak to Alice about it because she was wonderful at anticipating dangers around a crawling and walking baby. She could become a nursemaid if she wished to, but she was adamant about being by Rebecca’s side.

“What is the time now?” she said, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Hmm, your uncle will be heading to his study soon. Do you think we should intercept him along the way and make him spend time with you?”

Rebecca knew his schedule like the back of her hand. He never deviated from it. It probably gave him a sense of control because he had difficulty managing his emotions. The duke preferred to ignore them, which wasn’t healthy.

Rebecca wanted to help him, but he wouldn’t accept it easily, so she would have to do it without his knowledge. It was unfortunate that she tended to see him around meal times because he always kept himself occupied. He was either in his study and keeping to himself or out somewhere.

“Do not tell anyone this, but I rather like being around your uncle,” she whispered. “As stern as he is, he’s a good man.”

Tommy just looked at her with his big, beautiful eyes. Apparently, he looked a lot like his father. Rebecca had seen a portrait of the late Lord Oakham in the countess’ room and could see the resemblance. It was sad that the earl would never grow old with his wife or watch his son mature into a young man with his own family one day. Lady Hannah revealed that Lord Oakham had wanted to show his support in the war because he was a great strategist.

Unfortunately, his love for his country unexpectedly placed him on the battlefield, taking his life. No one was aware of when he decided to step into the fight instead of staying back with the generals and working on bringing victory to Britain. However, his sacrifice saved many, earning him the greatest honour as a fallen hero.

“Your papa would be glad to know that he helped end the war a month later,” said Rebecca. “We would not be at peace if it wasn’t for men like him. You should be proud.”

Tommy frowned at her, his hands reaching for her nose and lips. She winced, feeling the pinch of his nails. He needed them trimmed before he hurt himself.

“Let’s make these fingernails and toenails safe, shall we?” she said, placing him on her hip and moving to his toiletry drawer.

However, she paused halfway there. The duke would arrive at any moment now, and if she didn’t stop him on his way to his study, she wouldn’t see him until dinner. She wanted him to spend more time with his nephew, but she also wanted to see him.

“Why do I feel so drawn to your uncle?” she said, tickling Tommy under his chin. “Lord knows I have tried to ignore these feelings. They’re inappropriate, but I cannot seem to help it.”

Her feelings were worse now that she understood him better. Lady Oakham revealed much about their childhood, showing how they were forced to contain their emotions and be proper little adults.

“Maybe if I helped your uncle come to terms with his emotional state, I’ll get over these awful butterflies in my belly,” she said.

Tommy laughed as though he found her words amusing. Rebecca smiled wryly, agreeing with him. The opposite would likely happen, which meant she might endanger her heart to a man who would never look twice at her.