Chapter 35

Lucian had almost forgotten what he wanted to ask Eliza after the question she had posed. And while he should no longer be surprised by anything she said or did, she had succeeded in shocking him.

Of course, he would love to experience the pleasure of Eliza’s mouth around him, but he also knew that she didn’t exactly understand what kissing that part of his anatomy entailed and no doubt would find it unpleasant and why he would never ask her to do so.

“Come with me.” He held out his hand and led her to his treasure room. Or that is what his sister had called it. It was a small chamber, not much bigger than a dressing room, where he displayed his gems, crystals, fossils, and rocks. He led her to the gemstones, each in their own box but easily viewed and displayed on shelves behind glass. “Do you have a favorite?”

Eliza frowned and looked at each one. “They are all pretty and unique,” she answered.

He knew what he wanted to ask her, but the words would just not come to him.

It was fear of rejection. Something that he had never really experienced before.

“If you could choose one to wear, which would it be?”

Eliza tilted her head and frowned before she looked at him. “Why are you asking?”

Blast! He should have thought this through

It was too soon. He should have waited, but it was too late now.

“I thought to put your favorite into a ring.”

Eliza frowned and stepped away from him. “A ring?”

“As in a betrothal ring, if you will have me.”

Lucian held his breath and waited as Eliza stared at him with shock reflected in her grey eyes.

“Betrothal ring” she echoed.

“If you will have me,” he added.

It wasn’t the best proposal, but it wasn’t like he had any practice in this matter.

“Why?”

“We get on well and I have come to care deeply for you,” Lucian confessed, though he held back on voicing his deepest emotions because he was too uncertain of her. “There is also the fact that we have been intimate and you were innocent.”

Her gaze narrowed as Eliza pursed her lips and Lucian knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing.

“I am not some miss that you must feel obligated to marry because you were partly responsible for her loss of innocence.”

“Partly,” he nearly choked. “I took it.”

“I gave it freely, knowing full well that I wanted the experience and I have enjoyed being your lover.”

“We can continue to be such for the rest of our lives,” he offered.

“Not when the reasons are because we now get on well and you took my innocence.”

“I also have come to care for you deeply,” he added.

“And I care for you, but it is not enough.”

“Many marriages have begun on less,” he argued.

“And how many of those are happy?” she countered

Lucian did not have an answer because he knew of few truly happy marriages.

“Can we not just be lovers until what we share comes to an end?”

“You assume there will be an end?” he asked. He truly hoped that there was not because Eliza had somehow become a part of him, and in a very short time.

“All good things come to an end, and when there is a permanent attachment then they become an obligation to be resented.”

“It does not have to be that way, nor do I expect any relationship that I share with you to end in such a negative manner.”

Eliza studied him, then glanced away. “I learned long ago that I am better off as an independent woman. To rely on someone else only brings disappointment so I vowed never to have such a relationship.”

She referred to her parents. If a child could not count on their mother and father remembering them, why should anyone else? No wonder she had never married.

“I could never forget you, Eliza. I haven’t been able to forget you for ten blasted years no matter how hard I tried.”

A small smile pulled at her lips. “I thank you for that, Lucian. I never forgot you either.”

“I know! You wrote me into your stories as a villain, which I am not.”

She winced. “I am sorry for that, and I do care for you, but there will be no marriage. Lovers or nothing.”

“Lovers—for now.”

He would convince her to marry him, eventually, if he could get her to remain at Wyndhill Park long enough.

Or so he hoped.

Eliza excused herself from Lucian and returned to her chamber where she asked Stella to have a breakfast tray delivered.

Why did he have to go and ruin everything?

They had become lovers with no expectations and she was no longer an irritant to him, or so Eliza assumed, and he had to go and propose.

Had he professed his love on bended knee, Eliza likely would have agreed to be his wife.

It began as an infatuation of youth, then an obsession when she couldn’t decide if he was friend or foe, and often the villain.

Rarely a day had gone by in the last nearly ten years that she had not thought of him, and their one kiss after she had fallen into the lake. When she had seen him in London, she always approached, but he never asked her to dance, which only fueled her disappointment and then she would find something to say to shock him.

Those first years, when he was watching over his sister, had been the most enjoyable because he had been at many of the same balls as she, but after Elaina married, his presence was rare. So often Eliza had looked for him among the crowd and had been disappointed when he could not be found.

She had denied that it was love for years and was convinced she only wanted to return to Wyndhill Park because of the mummy and because she enjoyed irritating him, when in truth, she also wanted to return because of Lucian.

The friendship had been unexpected and she was glad that they had become lovers, except Eliza hadn’t counted on falling in love with him.

Maybe she had always loved him—born from the first time she had come to Wyndhill Park but she kept it buried and hidden from herself. That way she would never be disappointed.

Why else would she have sought him out over and over when she was convinced that he did not care for her?

If only Lucian loved her…but he didn’t and his offer was out of honor and obligation because she had been a virgin. If she married him because of that, in time he would grow tired of her and possibly leave her behind and maybe forget…

Eliza stopped herself from making a further comparison. Lucian was not her parents, but they were the ones who made her lose trust that anyone would ever love her enough. If a parent forgot you, then so would everyone else.

Though it was cowardly of her, Eliza remained in her chamber until Lucian left for his appointments. She just couldn’t face him right now, and once he was gone, she returned to the parlor where she worked and read the last portion of her story and wondered how it might end. The problem was, she did not know and now wondered if she ever would. But one thing was for certain, she needed to search that last cave and given their discussion this morning, Eliza decided to do so without Lucian. She also wasn’t so foolish as to go on her own.

Even though she didn’t believe that man would approach her, there was no guarantee so she rose from her desk and then stepped out onto the terrace where a footman guarded the door.

“I am going to investigate the last cave,” she announced.

“You are not allowed to leave without permission from Lord Garretson.”

“I am his guest not his child,” Eliza reminded the servant.

His face grew red. “I…um…I meant no disrespect.”

“I know.” Eliza smiled at him. “I would like you to accompany me and another servant.”

He glanced around. “I am not certain.”

“I will go with or without you and I believe Lord Garretson would be very displeased if you allowed me to go off on my own.”

He cleared his throat and swallowed, growing more uncomfortable.

“He may even sack you.”

“Very well,” he finally agreed. “Please step inside so that I may inform the butler of your request and he will assign servants to accompany you.”

Eliza grinned. “Thank you.” She then returned to her parlor and took a seat behind her desk and waited.

It was only a few moments before Stella entered and demanded to know what she was about.

Eliza calmly explained.

“You should wait until Lord Garretson returns and ask his permission.”

“I need no approval from anyone,” Eliza argued as she stood. She hadn’t needed to report her comings and goings or ask permission of anyone since she left the Wiggons’ School for Elegant Young Ladies. Not even her parents cared what she did and now Eliza, a woman of eight and twenty, was not allowed to do anything without first being scolded by her maid and forced to ask permission of Lucian.

“It is not safe!” Stella insisted.

“Which is why I am taking at least two footmen, or gardeners, or whoever can be spared. I will not be alone.”

Stella huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I do not like this.”

“You would keep me locked up, just as Garretson wants to do, but I promise I will be fine. It is only a cave.”

“I will be glad when this nonsense is over,” Stella muttered before leaving the room.

Soon the butler appeared. “Miles and Carter will be accompanying you, Miss Weston.”

Behind him stood two of the larger footmen who worked within Wyndhill Park.

“Thank you. I promise that I will not keep them from their duties for long.”

“Our first duty, above all others, is to keep you safe, Miss Weston.”

There was definitely disapproval in his tone.

“Well, then, shall we?” Eliza grinned as she stood and then lifted the lantern from the desk.

The two obediently followed Eliza out the door to the terrace, then down to the lake and around it until they came to the last cave that she needed to explore. They said nothing during their walk, but kept pace and were alert, watching in all directions.

She stopped at the entrance and lit her lantern. “Will you join me inside?”

“We will guard the entrance,” Miles said, then stood at attention on one side.

“I will walk the area and keep a look out,” Carter said.

“Thank you.”

She then turned, lifted the lantern, and slowly entered. This cave was larger than the other three and further in, it split.

Eliza lifted the lantern even higher and turned right and followed the path to the very end but found nothing of interest, much to her disappointment, then returned to where she had begun so that she might take the left.

“Miss Weston, I thought that it was time that we met.”

Her head jerked up at the strange voice and she raised the lantern so that she could see him better. “Who are you?” He looked familiar, but Eliza could not place where she may have seen him before.

“For ten years I have longed for you and was trying to find the right opportunity until I could approach you. Unfortunately, I delayed too long as he claimed you already, but that does not mean that we still cannot be together forever.”

A chill ran up her spine as Eliza looked past him and toward the entrance of the cave, but she was too far in and at a curve, so it could not be seen. Where were the footmen who had come along for protection? Had they left and returned to the manor or had something happened to them?