Chapter 20

Lucian sat behind his desk in the library and tried to concentrate on the accounting before him but his mind had been on the tarot reading from last night.

While it was enjoyable and not to be taken seriously, a few of the cards were too close to accurate for Lucian to be comfortable, but only if he believed in fortune-telling. It had been a little disconcerting but then he dismissed the whole experiment as simply entertainment. However, Eliza seemed to take them to heart and reacted as if they were not what she wished to hear. Almost defeated. He could not understand, given that her future was supposed to include a final outcome of exploration and freedom. It was a future he would enjoy, instead his was reflection and awakening, whatever that meant.

Lucian wished that Eliza was easier to understand. But that could be said for most women. Perhaps if his sister wouldn’t have been taken from the household when she was fourteen and sent to their grandparents only to return when she was eighteen, he’d have a better understanding of the female mind. Instead, he had only his four young brothers after his parents had died.

He glanced at the open door and frowned. Eliza still hadn’t come down to break her fast and he hoped the melancholy that had developed last night before she retired no longer remained. Though, if it did, Lucian wouldn’t know what to do. It was his brother, Xavier, who understood moods and the mind.

“I simply wish to take a walk,” Eliza’s frustrated voice drifted to him from the corridor.

“You cannot be outside of the house without someone accompanying you.”

Why was Eliza arguing with her maid?

“It is stifling,” Eliza argued. “A simple walk on the grounds, by myself, is all I wish to do.”

“Lord Garretson has ordered that a footman accompany you everywhere while you are outside.

“You know what it’s like having someone watching all the time. I simply wish to be left in peace.”

Lucian got up from his desk and walked into the doorway. “Do you forget that you have been watched? You just have not seen him.”

Eliza wheeled around, hands on her hips and glared at him.

Apparently, instead of waking up in a melancholy mood, she was in a very poor one.

“I am not being watched here. There has been no sign of this person since I arrived and I just spent my third night in your household. I have deemed it perfectly safe to be out and about.”

“I have not,” Lucian argued.

“Lord Garretson, while I appreciate you giving me sanctuary in your home, I am not your responsibility to be watched over. I’m not a child on leading strings.”

“Then quit acting like one,” he argued.

Eliza drew in a breath. “How dare you!”

He took a step in her direction. “I do dare. You seem to have forgotten or perhaps you do not realize the danger to your person. He was inside your house. He was in your bedchamber. It is likely he had been there before, given not only there is a necklace missing but a stocking, glove, and handkerchief, and I would wager they are now in his possession.” He continued striding toward her until she had to tilt her head back to look at him. “Do I truly need to explain to you how vulnerable you were and still could be and what could happen to you?”

Her cheeks blossomed to a lovely crimson hue. “No.”

“Then you understand the need to stay close to the house and not wander about.”

“Wyndhill Park is safe. I have asked the servants and nobody has seen a stranger. Therefore, he is not here.”

Lucian cocked his head and studied her. “Did you see a stranger hovering near Greenhaven Cottage?” He knew that she had not or she would have mentioned it. “There are trees and bushes surrounding this property. He could be hiding behind any one of them and my servants would not see him. Therefore, if you wish to be out-of-doors, you will go no further than the terrace, or the formal gardens if you must and a footman will be outside standing guard to make certain that you do not come to harm.”

Again, she gasped. “You cannot control my activities and you have no say over where I go and what I do.”

“No, I do not but I am saving myself the discomfort of having to inform your brother that something horrific has happened to you even though I tried to protect you from your own stubbornness.”

“You do not need to write to my brother about anything. I am an adult woman. I can make my own decisions.”

“From experience, I know that you will always be his younger sister no matter how old you are and he would want to know.”

“It does not matter what he would want. It is what I want and I want to take a stroll.”

When had she become a belligerent child? Was it because she was being told, no? Did she truly not know the danger that may be lurking out there? Did she have no comprehension of what the man could do if he got her alone?

Further, given she was being so difficult, Lucian decided that he would not task one of his servants with guarding her. “Then I shall accompany you if you will give me but a moment.”

“I want to stroll alone. I want to be alone with my thoughts. I think better when I am walking but cannot do so if I feel like someone is with me.”

“I'm sorry that you do not have such freedom, but until this man is caught, I cannot allow you to venture out without someone to protect you.”

She glared at him for the longest time, her grey eyes turning to ice and then she harrumphed, stomped away, entered her parlor, and slammed the door.

Lucian had no doubt that Eliza would attempt to leave and take a walk and that was the reason he summoned the butler and the housekeeper to warn the other servants to keep an eye on her and to alert him the moment she stepped beyond the gardens.

First, she was angered by Garretson’s ordering her about as if she were his servant, or worse, a child.

Grumbling, she settled behind her desk and wrote out his tarot reading from yesterday, the best that she could remember, so that she could use it in a book.

Present – Death – beginnings or change

Immediate Future – King of Swords – head over heart and discipline

She snorted as she wrote those words. Did Lucian even have a heart?

She knew that he did. It simply didn’t beat for her and never would.

Goals/Destiny – Queen of Pentacles – practicality and financial security

Distant Past – the Hermit reversed – loneliness and isolation.

She paused to wonder if he was lonely. Lucian did live here most of the year, traveling to London only when required. Were his younger brothers often absent as they were now?

Most Recent Past – The Chariot – control and willpower.

“He certainly wants to control me,” she grumbled to herself.

Future Influence – The Lovers – partnerships and union.

She had received a similar card in that position. It was a shame that their partnership was of a short duration.

Though, in truth, she had never really considered anything permanent with Lucian. She’d simply been infatuated with him for ten years and wanted another kiss, and more. But she hadn’t thought past desire. If only she could satisfy that need without the consequences of marriage.

Eliza settled back in her chair and glanced out the window. Why couldn’t she explore those desires? Who would ever know? Just because she was a spinster did not mean that she shouldn’t enjoy all that life had to offer, which could include taking a lover.

She smiled as the idea churned in her mind then continued making the list of his tarot reading.

Questioner / Advice – the Hierophant - tradition and morality.

If that card was accurate than it was unlikely he would willingly be her lover without a marriage. Blast!

External Influences – The Tower – disaster and upheaval.

She grinned. Maybe she was the upheaval he needed in his traditional, controlled, and moral life.

Inner Emotions – the Three of Wands reversed – obstacles and frustrations.

This should have been her card, not his. Lucian had no obstacles in his path and his only frustration was likely her being in his household and wanting her gone.

Final Result – Judgement – reflection and awakening.

Awakening to what, she wondered.

As she read over the list again, Eliza decided that she was his present in that she was bringing change to his discipline, practicality, control, and tradition, and the upheaval he needed in his life.

Had Lucian ever been free to simply enjoy? Had he always been serious, stable, and autocratic?

She’d enjoyed enough Seasons to note how much the young lords enjoyed London once free of school. They flirted, gambled, visited houses of ill-repute, or so she was told, and spent nights in White’s or Boodle’s, raced horses, and often imbibed too much brandy. It was expected and eventually, they all settled and saw to their duty to marry.

Lucian had been denied the most enjoyable part of being a lord once free of university because he had taken on the responsibility of his younger siblings, thus he denied himself those pleasures.

Perhaps that is what was missing and why he was so controlling of himself and everyone else.

Oh, if only she could make that control slip, just once.

She almost had—the night of the storm. She may have had to kiss him first, but he did return it and then he was over her, caressing her breast, and then he stopped.

Was it because of control, because of his morality, or because he found no pleasure with her?

He would not have kissed her back if it was not enjoyable, therefore, it was strict discipline that caused him to halt in his seduction.

A small smile formed as she stared out at the gardens.

She recalled very clearly the first time that he had let go of all honor and respectability. It had been nearly ten years ago, not long after she had turned eight and ten. What would have happened if her brother had not called out and found them? Would Lucian have ruined her that very day?

Was there a chance that she could make him succumb to desire and let go of his control?

Eliza stood and walked to the doors leading to the terrace and stepped out into the sunshine. She was going to bring life to Lucian before he grew old and dusty in this house. She didn’t care if he grew frustrated and yelled at her and stomped about. At least it was something, though she preferred laughter and a bit of levity.

“May I be of assistance, Miss Weston?” the footman asked.

Oh, she understood why Lucian felt the need to post guards about the property, and she appreciated him doing so, but she didn’t need one right outside each door of any room that she happened to be in.

“I simply wish to enjoy the gardens,” she finally answered.

“I will be close,” he assured her. If it was meant to offer comfort, his words had the opposite effect.

“Surely you are not concerned with someone accosting me in the gardens.”

“We are to take no chances with your safety.”

“What if I wish to go beyond the gardens?”

“Then I am to alert Lord Garretson immediately,” he answered.

“Not chase after me and haul me back to safety?” she teased.

When the footman’s eyes widened and color left his face, Eliza knew what she would do.

“I…um…please do not force me to make such a decision.”

She arched a brow. “I will give it some consideration.”

If anything, the footman grew even paler.

“You must fear Lord Garretson.”

“I do not,” the footman insisted. “However, he is my employer and I would not have him displeased.”

“An admirable quality,” she murmured and stared out past the gardens. “I have been told this estate has a lake.”

“It does.”

“Does anyone fish in it?”

“I am to understand there was fishing, but I don’t believe anyone has done so in a long time.”

Eliza nodded. “Boating?” she asked.

“I do not believe so, nor have I ever noticed a boat.”

She already knew that, but she didn’t want the footman to know that she had previous knowledge of the estate and assumed that he had not been told of her earlier visit and he was not old enough to have been working here ten years ago.

“Is there anything else of interest at Wyndhill Park?” she asked.

“It is an estate like any other, I suppose.”

Eliza simply nodded and continued looking around. But, instead of walking through the gardens, she returned inside and settled behind the small desk and retrieved the map that Micah had drawn for her. She drew an “X” over the first two caves as she now knew that they were empty, then wondered how she could reach the others, as well as the cemetery from the house.

The cemetery was to the right of the formal gardens and a tree line separated the two distinct areas of the estate. Past the gardens and lawn were more trees, which hid the lake and folly. The path that she had used in the past had not changed. On the other side of the lake were the caves. She could either walk around the lake by either side or cross a bridge that had been built not far from the folly.

Eliza frowned. She had never gotten a chance to use the walking bridge. Lucian had always caught her before she ever neared any of the places that she had wished to search. In fact, no matter how many times she had ventured out during the first visit, she’d not actually searched anything, which was why she must today.

Though, she also knew that Lucian would catch up to her before she ever reached the caves or the cemetery. However, perhaps she could convince him to explore with her.

He needed an adventure, but was it safe to first leave without him?

What if that man was out there and watching?

Except even if she asked or begged, Lucian would not take her to the caves so she must force him to and hoped that she wasn’t putting herself in danger.

Eliza opened the drawer of the desk and withdrew the small pistol. She readied it in case it was needed, then pulled the specially made leather garter up and over her boot, fastened it and then slipped the pistol inside. If she carried her reticule, it would easily fit in there, but a miss doesn’t carry a reticule when simply strolling and Eliza didn’t want to draw further attention to herself.

Next, she lifted the map, folded it, and hid it with her hand.

She glanced up and out the doors to the terrace to note that not only was there one footman, but a second. Had the first one summoned help because he was afraid that she’d run off?

Then the two walked away.

Was it possible that her guards were going to abandon their post?

Eliza slowly smiled, exited to the terrace and began to stroll toward the back of the garden. She did not rush but only because she did not want to draw attention if anyone was watching her progress.

A few times she stopped to smell blooms, an action she used to glance back to the house to see if a footman had once again emerged.

She also used the opportunity to look around the estate and note where hiding places could be. Not for herself, but in case someone was watching.

Oh, she was so torn with wanting to stay near the manor and in sight of those who offered the most protection, and going to the lake before exploring another cave.

Though, in truth, Eliza knew well enough that she wasn’t quite brave enough to go into a cave on her own with that man still out there. But the lake and folly were not so far and no doubt if she screamed, she would be heard.

Eliza straightened her spine, glanced around again, then continued her stroll, pausing to smell more flowers.

She had never hidden from danger before, or let fear rule her life and decisions, and she was done doing so now!

Unfortunately, the footman returned, as she had anticipated that he would. While she would have liked to have disappeared completely, a part of her wanted someone to know what direction she had gone because she wasn’t so foolish as to leave herself completely vulnerable to whoever was sending her notes.

Oh, she wanted the freedom that she had always enjoyed, but protection as well. Why couldn’t she have that from a distance?

At least the footman remained on the terrace—watching but not following her, which left much distance between them.

She continued to walk and gauged the distance between the house and footman and the lawn leading to the trees.

As she reached the edge of the garden, Eliza glanced back. The footman had taken a step forward, his bearing of someone who was alert and ready to take action. Instead of making a run for the trees, she admired more blooms then settled on a bench, smiled, and glanced around, as if she were at peace and the footman had no worries.

She had patience and would not move until the timing was perfect. Though, she wished that she would have had the forethought to wear a bonnet or at least bring an umbrella to shield herself from the bright sun. Unfortunately, she would simply have to suffer and hoped that her skin did not burn, which it had a tendency to do when she was out too long without protection. Or worse, that her face didn’t erupt into freckles, which had plagued her in her youth.

If she did not make her escape today, Eliza would attempt it again tomorrow, and the next day until the footman finally let down his guard, and she would also remember to bring shading for her face.

As she was just about to give up because the heat was beginning to make her sweat, so much so that she had to wipe away a trickle by her ear, a maid stepped out of the house and brought a sandwich and drink to the footman. She set it on a small table and while the footman was distracted by the comely maid and the food, Eliza rose and crossed the lawn. Once she reached the shelter of the trees, she turned to spy on them. Both stood looking toward the trees and the maid pointed to where she had gone.

With a grin, she continued to the folly, but also kept an eye out on her surroundings to make certain that she was truly alone, ready to scream if she came across a stranger.