Chapter 17

As tired as he was, Lucian knew that he couldn’t leave Eliza alone.

It was also very unwise that he remain.

Her coppery curls tumbled about her shoulders, slightly disheveled as she’d likely been sleeping before the storm grew fierce. Further, she wore only a nightshift and cover, and likely nothing else. The pink ribbon at her neck would be easy to untie, which would loosen the top of her gown enough to push over her shoulders. Then all he would need to do was untie the belt at her waist which kept her dressing gown closed and all could be removed quite efficiently.

He took a drink of his brandy and tried to shut down all thoughts of seducing Eliza. To do so would make him the worst kind of rake, not that anyone had ever accused him of being such, but it is what he would be if he took advantage of her fear and vulnerability. That was something he would never do.

Though, he wished he could make her forget about the storm.

If anything, she was even more frightened than she had been this afternoon. Not only did her hands shake, but she was pale and jerked with each clap of thunder or flash of lightning. He also knew that everything, no matter how insignificant, was always more frightening in the middle of the night, such as now.

“I hate this,” she said after a moment.

“Storms?”

“This unreasonable fear,” she bit out and took a sip of brandy. “Further, I hate that you know. It’s a secret I’ve always held and now the gentleman who finds me to be most irritating has learned my weakness.”

Lucian stared down at her. “You think I would use this against you? Judge you somehow?” Even in her weakness, as she described it, Eliza managed to insult him.

“I am a rational adult woman,” she said.

“Are you attempting to convince me or yourself?” he asked quietly.

“Both, I suppose.”

“There is nothing wrong with fear, Eliza. It is what makes us cautious and keeps us safe.”

“I fear little,” she insisted. “It is not having the power to control that is most disturbing.”

“And, because you cannot control a storm you feel vulnerable to its wrath.”

“What do you fear, Lord Garretson?”

Lucian had to pause and consider her question. What did he truly fear?

“At one time it was failure. That I would fail my sister and brothers or run the estate into ruin.”

“It appears as if you have done well and your siblings are successful and happy.”

“Yes,” Lucian agreed and took a sip of his brandy.

“That was then. What do you fear now?”

His first thought was missing out on life, but Lucian did not dare voice that response. Eliza would never understand. She had no responsibilities, whereas he had to make certain there was something to leave the next generation.

He did not have the freedom to choose, such as when Xavier wanted to become a doctor, or when Micah purchased a commission, or when Asher took over the stables and Silas was convinced to become a veterinarian. Lucian’s place was here, or Harwood Hall, or in London when required for Parliament.

“I can think of nothing that I fear,” he finally answered.

“You took a good deal of time to answer,” Eliza observed. “Are you certain there is not something?”

“I am certain,” Lucian lied. “I gave considerable consideration to your question and can think of nothing.”

Eliza narrowed her eyes. “I do not believe you. Everyone fears something whether they admit it or not.”

“I am afraid for you,” he offered, and it was also the truth. “We do not know who was sending letters or who was in the cottage. I fear what may happen if he finds you and no one is there to protect you.”

“You do not need to worry about me,” Eliza insisted. “No harm shall come to me because I shall not allow it.”

Perhaps her confidence was even more frightening. “He is dangerous, Eliza,” Lucian insisted.

“He has not harmed me and I do not expect him to. He is a person who hides in the shadows and behind anonymous letters.”

“Before you dismiss caution, at least wait for Xavier to write me back.”

Her grey eyes widened. “I told you not to bother him with this.”

“As you have no control over what I can and cannot do, I chose to ignore your instruction.”

Lightning flashed before thunder clapped loud enough to cause Eliza to jump and her grey eyes grew wide with fear once again.

Lucian had nearly forgotten the storm as they neared an argument, but noting her state, he decided not to lecture her further about using caution.

Eliza swallowed and took a deep drink of her brandy as the thunder became more intense. After each lightning flash, Eliza drew into herself as if she wished to hide.

The storm was turning into a beast and Lucian half wondered if they might not experience a tempest or tornado tonight but did not express his concern. Eliza was frightened enough already.

Something struck the window and he assumed it was a limb or branch and was thankful the glass did not break but Eliza gripped her now empty brandy snifter so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. He took the glass away before she shattered it in her hand.

“More, please,” she whispered.

“Neither one of us needs more brandy,” he said as he placed the glasses on the table. He then leaned back and placed an arm around Eliza and pulled her close. “You are safe with me.”

Lucian hoped he spoke the truth and that the house wasn’t destroyed around them.

Eliza was truly terrified and there was nothing he could do to help calm her.

He looked down to find Eliza looking up at him, her grey eyes round and coral lips parted. In that moment, he had never been so tempted to kiss anyone in his life.

Bloody hell!

Eliza was certain that Lucian was going to kiss her. He stared into her eyes, then at her lips, and she waited.

Except, he did nothing and as she always went after what she sought, Eliza rose slightly, placed her palm against his cheek, then her lips against his.

At first, Lucian did nothing. No response and she might have been kissing a marble statue. His lips may be warm, but they were firm and not engaging.

Her stomach sank with her mistake and she tried to push away the humiliation as she pulled away from him. However, before she could fully disengage, Lucian’s hand slipped through her hair, his long fingers grasping the back of her head as he pressed forward, returning her kiss.

Goodness!

She sighed and he delved as Eliza wound her arms around his shoulders.

He seemed to kiss her forever and Eliza had no objection though her body heated from her toes to the top of her head and the most delicious awareness began to thrum through her body, especially in her breasts and in her nether regions.

Was this passion? Was it need?

Whatever it was, she truly wished to experience what came next.

His other hand slipped down her back, caressing before it settled on her hip, his fingers burning her through the thin layers of her nightshift and robe. His grip was not bruising but reminded her of someone warring for control.

He then caressed her thighs as Eliza felt herself falling backwards on the settee with Lucian coming over her.

He broke the kiss and she opened her eyes, except he wasn’t looking at her face. Instead, his lips descended to her jaw, then down her neck as he pulled at the ribbons of her gown, opening the neck.

The awareness that had developed turned into an ache as her breasts grew heavier and her nipples tightened, and then he touched her through the material as his lips grazed her upper chest. His caress was gentle at first and she nearly groaned when he ran a thumb over her nipple.

Lucian sighed and let his hand slip away and rested his forehead on her chest.

Eliza lay there wondering what to do next, if anything, and also wished to know why he had stopped kissing her.

He then rose away from her and sat at the opposite end of the settee. Was that all? Was he not going to further seduce her?

“The storm has passed,” he said quietly.

Eliza hadn’t even been aware the thunder and lightning had stopped. Nor could she hear the wind, just gentle rain.

“You should be able to sleep now.”

Lucian rose and crossed to the sideboard, taking his glass with him, and splashed more brandy inside.

Eliza simply gaped at him then slowly drew herself up and smoothed her night clothing.

“Why…”

“I took advantage. You were vulnerable. I apologize.”

“I was not vulnerable. Besides, I kissed you.”

He chuckled and shook his head, his back still to her. “However, I took liberties that I should not have.” He took a long drink of his brandy. “Go to bed Eliza.”

He was just sending her off after he had touched her and his kisses had been so delicious.

Rejected!

He was rejecting her.