Chapter 12

"I'm always prepared, husband," Arabella told him, feeling comfortable enough to tease him.

He'd shocked and delighted her with his concern for her health, and now she felt the need to return the favor.

"Is that so?" he asked, a lopsided smile touching his lips.

God. She groaned inwardly. He was unfairly handsome.

How was a lady to keep her wits about her when he went around, looking the way he did?

Today he looked less put together than he had usually looked in her family home, with his hair a wild array of curls that she itched to run her hands through. He was sporting a five o'clock shadow that gave a rugged edge to his dark looks. She bit her lip as she eyed the exposed skin at his collar, as he'd forgone the cravat. Her eyes took in his toned arms and broad shoulders, which were accentuated by his close-fitting linen shirt.

Her eyes met his, and she saw a knowing gleam in them that had her blushing as they walked.

"Did you ask a question, Edward?" she asked.

"Are we back to first names now, wife?" he teased.

She didn't feign ignorance.

"Husband, did you ask a question?"

"I did, indeed." He rubbed his chin. "I asked how you were settling in, so far. Have you written to your sisters yet?"

Guilt settled in her stomach as she realized she'd been so caught up in settling into her new life with Edward's family that she had forgotten her family.

"I haven't." She bit her lip. "Would you mind if we get parchment and ink? I must write once we return. Oh, how they must have worried."

"I am sure they're thinking you are simply enjoying marital bliss."

She knew he was only trying to reassure her and decided not to dampen the mood. She was already feeling much better from the exercise.

The sun was warm on her face and neck, and the air was fragrant with blooming flowers. She loved spring among all the seasons.

"Lavender becomes you," Edward commented suddenly.

"What?" she asked, not sure she had heard him correctly.

"I said lavender becomes you." He looked almost boyish in the way he reddened.

She blushed at the compliment but asked how he knew the exact shade of purple she'd worn.

"My mother decided to punish the fates for not giving her a daughter and dragged Charles and me with her whenever she went shopping," he explained, shuddering. "Before then, my knowledge of colors had been severely lacking."

Arabella laughed and tried to imagine little Edward in a shop, looking at fabrics.

"How old were you back then?" she asked.

"Ten, and Charles was eight."

"Oh God." She laughed. "You must have been traumatized."

"I was for the first few years, but when I saw it made me popular with the ladies, I started to pay more attention."

Arabella felt a spike of jealousy at his words but pushed the feeling aside. She couldn't have expected him to stay celibate all his life. He was a man, and society didn't exactly have the same expectations for him.

She slapped his arm playfully. "You're such a cad."

"I was young then." He laughed. "Did you never have any wanton moments? Perhaps a stable boy you kissed in your teenage years?"

She wrinkled her nose and slapped his arm again. "I was a prim and proper little girl," she said proudly. "There was no kissing for me."

"Anyway, everything changed when Charles and I went to Oxford," he continued.

A dark look crossed his face then, and he paused.

"Are you all right?" Arabella asked, squeezing his arm.

He nodded but said nothing.

She decided not to pry but was already missing the warmth his conversation brought.

"If it's any consolation, I absolutely hated fabric shopping and dress fittings."

His eyebrows dipped in a questioning look. "But you're a woman," he stated. "How old were you?"

"Twelve or thirteen," she answered. "I thought them pointless and entirely painful. There were so many pins."

"What would you rather you did?"

"Riding."

He stumbled and nearly took her down with him.

"You like horses?" he asked, coughing awkwardly into his hand.

"Absolutely," she chirped. "There's nothing quite like feeling the wind in your hair."

It had been so long that she missed it dearly. She hated that she had to leave her mare, Missy, behind, but it was one of many prices she had to pay for her actions.

"We should go together tomorrow," Edward suggested. "I'll have a mare prepared for you."

"I'd love that," she told him, meaning it.

They finally neared the village, and before they'd gone in, the cries of excited children met her ears.

"His Grace is here!" they cried, running towards them.

"Your Grace!" they cried, all trying to hug Edward.

"Good afternoon, little ones!" He smiled at them, picking up a little girl with cute pigtails. "How do you do, Bessie?"

"I am well, Your Grace." She smiled, handing him a small flower. "Mother said ye'd be coming today, so I picked this for you."

"It's as beautiful as you," he told her, placing the flower behind her ear.

The little girl reddened and buried her face in his shoulders..

Arabella was struck again with the fact that they would never have a little one of their own, that Edward would never get to experience this sort of happiness if she kept herself tied to him.

He turned to her then, with a smile brighter than anything she'd ever seen, which faltered at the look on her face. She shook her head to ease his concern and stepped closer.

"You look very pretty, Bessie." She smiled at the little girl.

"Thank you, My Lady." Bessie blushed. "You're also very pretty. Are you a princess?"

"No." Arabella shook her head.

"Why not?" Bessie asked, frowning. "You look like a princess."

"It takes more than that to be a princess, love."

"Oh?"

"Mhmm." Arabella feigned a serious look. "I would have to marry a prince."

"If you marry His Grace, will you be a princess?"

She pretended to consider it and nodded. "Yes."

"Hmm. We are supposed to marry when I am old enough."

"Oh, really?"

"Indeed. My father told me so."

"I am happy for you, then. Perhaps I'll wear my pretty purple dress to your wedding."

"Don't you want to be a princess?"

"I do."

"Then I will allow you to marry him."

Arabella bit back a laugh. "You are far too kind, Bessie."

"You are welcome." Bessie wiggled free of Edward's arms and came to take her hand. "Come and meet my mother. She makes the best apple pies."

"We'll come soon, dear one. Run along now." Edward shooed them off. "I asked the baker to make you all cookies."

Cries of joy arose as tiny feet rushed towards the center of the village.

"Someone's very possessive of you, Your Grace," Arabella teased.

"I'm surprised she allowed you to marry me." He laughed.

"What can I say?" Arabella smiled. "I have my way with children."

"You seem to have stolen Noah's heart," he commented.

"I know. He's declared his love for me several times."

"You must enjoy it."

"I do." She laughed.

"Indeed, you do." He shook his head. "Come. There's a lot you have to see."

He took her arm and proceeded to show her around the village, pointing out his favorite spots. Several villagers stopped to pay them compliments about the pretty couple they made, and she blushed as he introduced her as his wife.

He also took her with him when he went to check on the farmers at the edge of the village that had been affected by the flood. She admired the way he walked and how everyone seemed to lean in to hear what he had to say. He seemed to care deeply for his people.

The villagers presented them with wedding gifts, and while the men pulled Edward to the side, a couple of villagewomen pulled Arabella to the other side and handed her a small package.

"What is this?" she asked.

"It's a tea that helps keep things sweet for His Grace," the first villagewoman, a pretty brunette, answered.

"Things?" Arabella asked.

"It makes you burn hot with desire for him," the second one answered, sporting a naughty grin.

Arabella reddened and tried to look away, but her eyes met Edward's, and her blush deepened further.

"Ye still blush like a maiden," the first woman commented.

"His Grace probably wants to ease her into it." The second one laughed.

"Don't be so innocent in the bedroom, Your Grace," the first woman advised. "Men always say they want a prim and proper lady, but that's only outside the bedroom."

"Here, here," the second woman assented.

"You have to treat him like a…"

"And what are you all teaching my wife?" Edward asked, approaching them.

"Nothing, Your Grace," they villagewomen chorused, flashing cherubic smiles.

He shot Arabella a lopsided grin and winked at her.

"Are you all doing well?" he asked them. "Mrs. Dougherty, how are Mara and Michael?"

"They're doing better, Your Grace," the first woman answered. "The doctor said they'd be as right as rain in a couple of days."

"You're welcome." He nodded. "Would you all be so kind as to let me borrow my wife?"

"You can have her, Your Grace." Mrs. Dougherty nudged Arabella towards him. "You have a good eye."

He waved them goodbye and hurriedly led her away.

"Thank you," Arabella whispered.

"You're welcome."

Edward led her to a trinket shop and went inside to discuss something with the owner.

She peered at items from even medieval times in awe. She had a secret love of history, and now she felt as if she had traveled back in time.

She spotted a pretty silver necklace made of ornately twisted silver wire that had a perfectly cut sapphire pendant. There were matching earrings and a bracelet. She stepped closer, her hands skimming the velvet lining its display case.

"You have a good eye," Edward said suddenly from behind her, startling her.

She yelped and then tried to steady her breathing. "Indeed?" she asked.

"Yes, Your Grace," the owner chimed in.

"It is a beautiful piece." She nodded.

"And it's yours." Edward smiled softly. "I just went in to finalize the purchase. I was hoping to surprise you, but it seems we have similar tastes."

Arabella was speechless.

"Edward, it's too much." She shook her head. "I can't accept it."

"It is not even enough." He smiled. "Tell her the story behind it, Titus."

"That pendant was first commissioned by a Scottish laird for his bride. He said the stones reminded him of her eyes, as that had been the first thing he'd fallen in love with when he saw her."

"As it was for me." Edward nodded. "It's a late wedding gift from me to you."

Arabella wished she could deny it, but her heart fluttered at his words, even though she knew they weren't true.

She nodded, unable to say anything. Not even when he'd bought her a slice of the most amazing apple pie she'd ever tasted or even when he'd gotten her chocolate.

She kept reminding herself that it was all going to end in a couple of months, but a large part of her had already warmed up so much to him that she feared she'd be hurt badly when the time finally came.

Sensing her mood, Edward asked if she wanted to head back, and she nodded.

"Should I get us horses?" he asked, concerned. "If you aren't strong enough to make the walk back, it's all right."

She shook her head. "I need the exercise."

"All right. I'll have them deliver our purchases to the castle, so you can walk unencumbered."

She nodded. His thoughtfulness warmed her.

She watched him speak with one of the townsmen and then walk up to her all tall, lithe and elegant. Women turned to stare at him as he walked, and men stood straighter as he passed them.

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them back.

He frowned. "Are you sure you're all right to walk back home?"

Home.

Her tears spilled over, startling him.

He put his arms around her, pulling her into him, and led her to a bench just outside the village, not saying anything as she cried. She cried even harder because he was being so sweet.

Why did he have to be such a proper gentleman?

When her tears finally stopped, she pulled back, wiping her cheeks and eyes, unable to meet his eyes.

"Use this."

She turned to see he was handing her a handkerchief.

"Thank you," she muttered, wiping her face and hands.

They sat in a companionable silence she was too scared to break.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked finally.

"Yes," she answered thickly. "I feel much better. But…"

Edward turned to look at her, making the conversation harder than it should have been.

"I am having trouble continuing our charade," Arabella began, unable to think of anything better to say. "I sit with your family at breakfast and see the way they smile at me, the way they've taken me in, and I instantly feel bad because all I've done is lie to their faces. I think about how we will separate in a few months, and I'm not going to lie, it is going to be difficult for me because I already feel comfortable being married to you."

Edward looked stunned, as if he hadn't been expecting her to say anything about their relationship, but he quickly masked his surprise.

"I don't know what to say." He sat back. "I'm sorry you've been carrying this burden alone."

Didn't he realize it was words like this that weakened her resolve?

"You're not making this any easier." She laughed darkly.

He smiled softly at her. "What would you have me do, then?"

Did she even know?

"I need us to make both our families believe that we were a terrible match."

He nodded.

"You already make it easy because you don't sleep in my chamber, so we could just…"

"Why do you think I don't sleep in your chamber?" he asked her suddenly.

She looked at him, frowning. She wondered if she could be that honest. "I just assumed your attraction to me had passed the moment you were forced to wed me."

It wasn't an easy thing to admit, but she was tired of the lies she'd become too familiar with.

He suddenly laughed loudly, slapping his knee.

His unrestrained amusement annoyed her greatly. Why would he find her words funny?

She got up, storming down the dirt road. How dare he make her feelings so trivial?

"Arabella, you shouldn't walk alone," he called after her.

"Leave me be, Edward."

"I cannot." He jogged up to her, stopping her with a hand on her arm. "You're angry because of a falsehood. But since you're being honest, I'll do the same. I don't stay away from you because I'm not attracted to you. I stay away because you evoke a flame in me that's hotter than anything I've experienced, and I fear that if I were to stay so close to you, I won't be able to control my desire."

Arabella's eyes widened at his admission.

"I don't need to touch you to be driven wild." He pulled her to his chest, "All I need is to be near you, and all my senses will go mad."

A thick lump formed in her throat that she had a hard time swallowing. Liquid heat pooled in her blood and flowed towards that spot between her legs.

If he felt this much desire for her, why had he never said anything?

"Because I wondered if you burn for me the way I do for you. You haunt my waking and sleeping hours," he said, as if reading her mind.

Arabella stared up at him, unable to say anything. What could she say in the face of a confession like that?

"You've been stewing under a cloud of mistruth, Ara mine." He smiled, running a finger down the side of her face. "You're not the only one who worries about our uncommon relationship."

"Why have you never said anything?"

He frowned and seemed to consider her words. "I do not know," he answered, at last. "I will do what you've asked of me. For my family and yours."

She nodded, and then they resumed their walk back to the castle.

"I must ask," he said suddenly. "Why didn't you want to get married before?"

Arabella started but then calmed herself, wondering if he'd think her a weakling if she told him the truth.

"You do not have to speak of it if you do not wish to."

"No, I will." She smiled softly. "I just… I never expected I'd be talking about this with you."

He nodded as if he understood, but he didn't pry, so she took her time constructing the fastest and shortest way she could explain.

"I was to be married once before," she began.

It was safer if she bore the pain once rather than prolong it. If he started asking questions, she was sure it would dampen the mood, hence ruining the rest of the day.

"To a duke, or at least until he decided he didn't want me anymore. He wanted someone better. It wrecked me for many days, but even worse, it hurt my family because I dashed Leonard's belief that he'd soon have someone to help raise our family's social standing. My sisters took it hard too because even if we tried to hide it, it was clear what had happened when the Duke married someone else not a few days later after breaking our engagement. It was a dark time for us."

Edward took her hands in his, squeezing gently, and she was grateful for his warmth because it helped her face the demons of her past once and for all.

"The thing that hurt me the most was that I actually loved him but I wasn't enough for him. Because of that, I started to believe I wouldn't be enough for anyone."

"Don't say that."

"How could I not?" she spat out bitterly. "I failed to secure a true love match and ended up in a marriage of convenience. It just goes to show how morbid my life is."

"Stop blaming yourself for other people's problems," he growled, angrily pulling her to him. "You are more than enough, and any man who can't see that isn't worth your time. You are beautiful, smart, kind, funny, beautiful and the absolute best fake wife a man could have."

She laughed and then slapped his chest, allowing herself to drink from his spring of positivity.

"If it's any consolation, you landed a duke, so I would say your life is better than morbid."

"I didn't know you had a hilarious side, Duke," she teased.

"There are a lot of sides to me you do not know, Duchess."

"I'd like to think I'm starting to get to know you quite well." She smiled up at him.

"Is that so?"

"Indeed."

She didn't know who moved first, but suddenly his lips were on hers, kissing her softly and then possessively, almost painfully as if he were trying to mark her.

Her hands delved into the hair at the nape of his neck, and she tugged on it, earning herself a groan him that excited her. She stepped even closer to him, wondering how kissing could feel so wonderful.

Edward plundered her mouth, nipping her bottom lip gently and then a little harder in a rhythm that rocked her to the core. His hands gripped her waist tightly, pulling her flush against him.

When they pulled apart for air, she couldn't help but wonder how she'd be able to leave him, knowing he kissed this way.

"Come, wife." He smiled. "We've put on a good show for the woodland creatures. Let's head home before they decide to invite us for dinner."

She laughed and then fell into step with him, talking as they made their way back to the castle.

When he bid her a good rest of the day with a soft kiss on her lips, Arabella knew she was going to have a difficult time saying goodbye to him.

* * *

Edward smiled, walking down the corridor after seeing Arabella safely to her room. It was no small feat leaving her at the door and not going in to finish what they'd started.

"Someone looks happy," he heard a familiar say once he stepped into his study.

"Joana." He smiled at his ward. "It's been an age since I saw you."

"Yes, it has." Joana smiled. "You've been enjoying marital bliss, and I didn't want to interrupt."

He settled in his seat, arranging the papers on his desk.

"I thank you then for your consideration," he teased. His answer apparently shocked her, for he asked, "What is it?"

"You finally have a sense of humor." She smiled. "Marriage becomes you."

"You say it like I didn't have a sense of humor before."

"You didn't." She laughed. "You always walked around like you had a stick up your arse."

"Well, it's a good thing I've pulled it out, then."

They shared a laugh, and he resumed his work, not bothered by her presence in his study.

"I really am happy for you, Your Grace," Joana said after a long minute.

He smiled up at her as she curtsied and left the room.

He was grateful for the silence, as it let him think back to his day with Arabella.

She was indeed much braver than him by admitting her struggle with keeping up their charade. But once again, he was grateful for her strength.

If she weren't right though, he would have thought her a very good match.