Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

B y the time Marissa arrived in the breakfast room the following morning, Valentine, Jasper, and her grandmother were already there and were involved in a spirited conversation. Marissa hadn't slept well and the last thing she needed was loud voices, but she smiled when Lady Bethany paused to wish her good morning and then, for good measure, complimented Jasper on his return to the breakfast table, before sitting down and pouring herself a much-needed cup of hot tea.

After a sip or two of the restorative, Marissa was feeling strong enough to glance surreptitiously at the far end of the table, where Valentine was ensconced. Even that brief glimpse of his face was enough to make her heart begin to rattle in her chest. Memories of the evening before took hold of her mind, causing all manner of dangerous emotions.

She hadn't meant to end their lovemaking in such a way, with her storming from the room in tears. They had played such an exciting, erotic game, and when he held her naked in his arms she'd felt the thrill and joy of being with the man she wanted above all others. And she did want him. She could no longer deny it. The feelings she was experiencing for Valentine were deep and real. Which was why she was so upset when he refused to accept the gift of her virginity.

He was acting the gentleman, refusing to ruin her, but Marissa didn't believe him. She sensed there was far more to his behavior than he was letting on. But if he wouldn't tell her the truth then what could she do? As she'd lain in bed, tossing and turning, she'd wondered whether Valentine's response to her could be due to his unhappy marriage. Was he determined not to make the same mistake again?

"Valentine has received a message from his friend in London. The medieval scholar." Jasper was leaning toward her with a smile. "He has given us a little more information on the list of names." He turned to his friend. "Tell Miss Rotherhild what he said, Kent."

Valentine finished his sausage and set down his knife and fork, dabbing at his mouth with his napkin and avoiding her eyes. "We know now where the three remaining families on the list lived, and it just so happens that the Prideauxes are quite close to Abbey Thorne Manor." He dropped the napkin carelessly beside his plate and reached for the coffeepot. "We could be there and back in two hours, and I was trying to persuade Jasper and Lady B that they are fit for the journey."

He was speaking to her so offhandedly, refusing to look at her, as if they were distant acquaintances rather than almost-lovers. No, not even distant acquaintances, more like someone he didn't like very much and was wishing to the far side of the county.

"Really?" Marissa spread marmalade on her toast, concentrating on playing a similar role. "So are you going rose hunting today, Lord Jasper?"

Jasper looked down at his arm, still awkwardly encased in a sling. "I wish I could say yes, but I fear my arm isn't up to it just yet. I'd only be a burden to the fitter members of the party. I rather think it would be better if I stayed here and awaited the news on your return."

Lady Bethany bestowed a sympathetic smile upon him. "Then I am determined to remain with you, Jasper, and keep you company. I'm certain Kent and Marissa can manage perfectly well on their own."

"Of course we can," Marissa said, sounding far more certain than she felt, but she was dashed if she was going to hide in her room and refuse to go with him. If he could play this game of pretending she meant nothing to him, then she would play it, too. Last night she'd discovered she was good at playing games.

Valentine downed his coffee and rose to his feet.

"Then I will meet you at the stables in half an hour, Miss Rotherhild," he said brusquely, and he strode from the room.

"Good luck, old chap!" Jasper called after him, but Valentine barely acknowledged him.

Marissa, toast in one hand, teacup in the other, felt a wave of depression.

"Whatever is up with Kent?" Jasper said in an undertone to Lady Bethany. "He's like a frog in a rainstorm, twitching and hopping all over the place."

Lady Bethany laughed. "I can't imagine," she said, her gaze sliding to Marissa. "Do you know what is wrong with him, my dear?"

"No, Grandmamma, I don't," she replied. "And I am not at all sure I want to."

By the time Marissa had changed into her emerald green riding habit and hurried back downstairs the clock was showing she had taken more than her allotted half an hour. She found Valentine outside, marching impatiently up and down in his riding boots, breeches, and jacket.

"Ah, there you are!" he said, his head snapping up. "Come on, let's go."

Marissa quickened her steps, trying to catch up to him. "I didn't realize it was so urgent," she grumbled, further annoyed by his high-handed behavior.

"Of course it's urgent, Marissa. Von Hautt is probably already on his way. He's known every move we've made so far. Why should it be any different this time?" He stopped and turned to face her so abruptly that she almost ran into him. "George saw Von Hautt in Magna Midcombe."

Her eyes grew round.

"He came home last night. Late," he added, his eyes holding hers, their meaning clear. Late, so he didn't see us together. "Von Hautt stopped him at Magna Midcombe, threatened him, and said some things George found rather puzzling. He also knew about . . . well, he knew things he shouldn't have known. Things he could only know if he had a very good source of information inside Abbey Thorne Manor."

"So he really does have a spy here?"

"Yes, I rather think he must."

"Then he'll know about the letter? And where we are going today?"

"Which brings us back to why we're in a hurry, Marissa." His smile was warm, as if last night had never happened, but she still didn't trust him.

To her surprise she was presented with a mount very unlike the sluggish animal she'd ridden to Montfitchet. Restless, nervous, and well-bred, this creature would test her abilities. Evidently Valentine had come to the conclusion that Marissa was a more capable rider than he'd given her credit for, and she relished the chance to show him his confidence was not misplaced. Before long they were galloping across the bridge that spanned the moat, and through the park.

"Did your London friend discover anything more about the Prideaux family?" she asked, while they paused to allow a farmer to drive his sheep across the road from one field to another.

"Yes, he did. He wrote that the last female Prideaux married a Longhurst, but they continued to reside at the Prideaux manor. The manor is called Canthorpe, and it is still there—more or less. This is the best chance, the most likely chance, we have of finding the rose, Marissa."

That would explain his restless excitement. And she hoped he would find his rose, she really did. But, if he did find the rose today, then what would become of her? A sense of loss filled her, but her feelings were more complicated. She'd come here on a husband hunting expedition and ended up with the wrong man. If Valentine found his rose and turned his back on her, she would be left with nothing.

Not that she cared about returning home a spinster. She'd rather be alone than marry the wrong man—that was what hunting the right husband was all about. But she was beginning to believe that the wrong man was in fact the right man, the man she should have been hunting all along.

"You're very quiet," Valentine said.

Marissa was too proud to want him to see the true state of her emotions. As far as Valentine was concerned she was a woman of the world, a woman who planned to lead a free and unfettered Bohemian life.

If he discovered that she was actually longing for a cozy hearth, husband and children, then he'd probably ride off at top speed. She suspected his opinions on domestic bliss were grim to say the least.

Marissa couldn't bear him to pity her or avoid her. So she smiled and played her part and said, "I was thinking about your quest, Valentine. If the rose is at Canthorpe and you find it . . ."

The change of subject worked. He was soon too involved in discussing his quest to notice her introspection. All she needed to do was nod understandingly, smile occasionally, and return to her own thoughts.

But she was wrong. Valentine was more observant than she'd imagined.

"Marissa? Marissa!"

She blinked at him, trying to remember what he'd been saying, but something in her eyes must have given her away. His own gaze sharpened and when he spoke it was in that stiff, autocratic manner.

"What is it? You're miles away. You're thinking about last night, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. I'd forgotten all about it."

They both fell silent again. For her part Marissa was busy pretending not to care.

"Last night—" he began.

"You must live your life as you see fit," she interrupted airily.

"Last night—"

"That was the agreement we made, remember? Neither of us are bound by the other. No recriminations, no explanations."

"Stop it!" he said in a deep, shaken voice.

Surprised, she finally looked at him and saw that he was angry. Really angry. For a moment she was at a loss. Should she continue with her chosen role or open her heart to him? But anyway it didn't matter because he was the one doing the talking.

"Do you really believe a word of that stuff you spout at me? I know you're upset over last night. You've convinced yourself that I don't really want you, that I'm the sort of cad who plays games with innocents."

"Now you're being silly," she managed but her voice shook and he wasn't convinced.

"If you think I'm going to allow you to go off and throw yourself at some . . . some bloody bounder then you are seriously array in the head, my girl," he growled.

"But you agreed—"

" I never agreed. No gentleman would agree to allow a lady to ruin herself, no matter what she thought she wanted. Last night you accused me of treating you as if you didn't know your own mind. Of not understanding you. But do you understand me, Marissa? If you did then you'd know I could never allow you to run off and join the demimonde."

" Allow me? You don't own me," she said in a low, trembling voice. "We are not married, Valentine."

"Not yet!" he roared.

She blinked. She was finding it difficult to understand what was going on in his head, but one thing was for certain, it wasn't what she'd thought was going on. Did he want to marry her after all? And was that because he genuinely wanted to spend his life with her, or because he wanted to protect her like the proper gentleman he was?

She tried to clear her head. If the latter was his reason then it wasn't enough. It wasn't ever going to be enough. And she'd rather leave right now and go and live her life in Yell, collecting specimens for her father, than marry a man who asked her out of obligation. Wasn't that why the Husband Hunters Club was formed in the first place? As a protest against such recipes for misery?

It was Valentine who broke the silence.

"Marissa," he said, and his chest rose and fell heavily, his expression taut and tense, as if he was laboring under an enormous strain. "I have spent years on the quest of the Crusader's Rose and that's all that's mattered to me. Now a beautiful, desirable woman has suddenly arrived in my life. Forgive me if I'm less than coherent."

She watched him warily, not sure whether he was telling her something she wanted to hear.

"Valentine," she began, feeling her way as cautiously as a cat across a floor of tacks. "When I was attending Miss Debenham's Finishing School some friends and I formed a special, eh, club. You could say it was rather like your quest to find the rose, only our quest was to find something, eh, different. When I came to Abbey Thorne Manor my own quest was uppermost in my mind."

He made an impatient gesture with his hand. "Marissa, I don't believe you want to be a Bohemian like your grandmother."

"I'm trying to explain," she said, attempting to remain calm when she felt like screaming. "Perhaps if you listened for a change you would understand."

They glared at each other, and then Marissa felt the tension ease, and with it came an urge to laugh. At the same moment Valentine's mouth twitched and he gave a chuckle.

"Perhaps we should continue this conversation after we've been to Canthorpe," he suggested.

"When we can give it our full attention."

"Yes, perhaps we should," she agreed, softly.

"We are clearly at cross purposes, minx."

"Yes." She sighed.

They had been climbing a gently sloping hill and now they reached the top. The scene spread out before them was quite breathtakingly delightful, with the cottages of the village gathered neatly about a spired church, and the green fields surrounding them.

"How lovely," Marissa declared. "It looks perfect."

"It would be perfect if I found the rose," he said.

He turned to her, and his eyes lingered on hers, a spark deep within them. Just by looking at her he made her feel flushed and alive, and very much aware of herself as a woman.

"Marissa." Reaching out he took her gloved hand, his fingers enfolding hers. Despite their misunderstandings, she felt as if they were in complete harmony. Just for a moment. Perfect companions.

A moment later the feeling was gone, and Valentine was urging his mount into a gallop as he rode down the slope toward the fulfillment of his dream.

There was nothing Marissa could do but follow him.