Chapter Ten

E lizabeth hurled the pillow from her berth straight at the closed door.

Infuriating fellow! Just when they seemed to have the beginnings of an accord of mutual understanding, they descended into another conflict whose origins were not clear to her. Why should Mr Darcy care that she and others had assumed that he and Miss Bingley were intending to pursue marriage? What could possibly be the reason for this sudden anger at her when it was plain for all to observe that Miss Bingley had regarded Mr Darcy as quite her own? Whether he had returned her feelings or not had been more difficult to perceive.

After her initial exasperation had ebbed, Elizabeth began to reflect on the instances when it had seemed Mr Darcy had not welcomed blatant overtures by Miss Bingley. As she recalled some very particular moments, it now appeared to her that he had actually deflected some of Miss Bingley's more obvious flirtations. Perhaps Mr Darcy had felt very similar as she had when Mr Collins was making an effort to ingratiate himself to her. She had always responded with the respect and deference the heir of her father was due. However, Mr Collins had mistaken Elizabeth's politesse for encouragement and her silences for demure acceptance. It must have been a very similar situation that Mr Darcy had found himself in when navigating the various overtures of affection that Miss Bingley frequently bestowed upon him.

"Perhaps, in this, too, I have been terribly mistaken. Mr Darcy is not the creature that I believed him to be. It may be that I was very wrong in several of my assumptions about him."

Where he could have resorted to haughty indifference during their meal with the captain, Mr Darcy had made a true effort to aid her in conversation, leaping in to fill any awkward silence. When she had been ill, he was all solicitude and concern, even bringing her a tray of food—which must have been a first for the master of Pemberley. And, of course, he had obeyed her wishes to continue this journey, after some friction had been overcome.

Then there was the case of Wickham. Wickham had proven himself to be either a man whose word could not be trusted or one who would not brave Mr Darcy's censure for her sake when he had avoided attending the ball at Netherfield. This could not be denied. Mr Darcy had provided facts of their history together that were so shocking and painted such a bleak image of his own father that Elizabeth now found it difficult to believe what Wickham had said. Perhaps if the story had not included the senior Mr Darcy, it would not have made such an impression on her.

No, it must be true. Elizabeth rose and picked up the crumpled pillow off the ground. With care, she fluffed it back to some semblance of its original shape. After returning it to the bed, she turned and stared at the empty chair. A small smile crept over her lips at the memory of Mr Darcy stooping low to avoid his head colliding with the rafters.

Without even making a deliberate decision to do so, her hand was on the door handle of the cabin door, and she made her way up the stairs into the moist, cool breeze of the night air.

After a quick turn on the deck, Elizabeth settled into her spot next to Mr Darcy, just as they had been earlier that day. In silence, they observed the wake of waves. Elizabeth thought of the many miles that trailed after them, each crest of the ship over a swell taking her farther from her family, friends, and all of the world that she had ever known. A shiver danced up her spine and flung out through her shoulders.

"You are chilled? May I put my jacket on you?"

Mr Darcy had already straightened and was beginning to slide his arms out of his sleeves. Elizabeth shook her head with a light laugh.

"No! You mistake the cause of my tremble. I was reflecting on how far I am— You see, I have never been farther from home than London, and now…"

She tore her gaze from his softening face and blinked rapidly. "Despite all of its many causes for vexation—in many ways—I was frequently happy at Longbourn. I know that must seem extraordinary given what you have seen of how my family can behave when in society."

"Not at all. You have every reason to remember your home with fondness. Family cannot always give us pleasure. I have had just cause to be vexed with my father, my aunt, and even my sweet, younger sister."

Elizabeth laughed and looked up into his eyes. "There, sir, I draw the line! You cannot possibly have tales of a younger sister's mischief that can outstrip the offences that Lydia has committed."

In the dusk, Elizabeth thought she could perceive a shadow of twinkling amusement in his eyes. The rest of his face was in darkness, but there had been a weary tilt to his head. Her making light on the subject of troublesome sisters had cheered him.

Determined to meet him as an equal in all of his friendly overtures, Elizabeth pressed on. "One time, Lydia placed burrs on the seat of our pew in church, and Jane and I sat upon them, unaware. It took all of our powers of calm to make it through the service, squirming and in pain, for the burrs had worked themselves into the fabric of our gowns. It was because each of us had refused her the lending of our bonnets. You see, Lydia has the worst reputation for spoiling an item of clothing that she has borrowed and then tearing it up for her own use."

Mr Darcy laughed and some of his sombre mood lifted. As he shook his head, the cloudy night sky began to shake off its veils. The strong wind cleared the view above them.

"Oh, what a sight!" Elizabeth whispered as she placed one hand on his forearm and pointed out with the other to the distant reaches of the sky. "There! The twin-tail of the Great Comet begins to emerge."

On the horizon, the shine of the tail was unfurling. As they stared, both silenced by the majesty of it, the entirety of the Great Comet was revealed above them. It almost reached from one horizon to the other. Never had she seen it so bright and so long. Perhaps it was the effect of being on the water, but it appeared to take up the entire sky and the surface of the sea as well, as the brightness of the celestial traveller was reflected upwards. Elizabeth looked at Mr Darcy with a wide smile of stunned rapture.

At that moment, he looked down into her face. Both could clearly observe each other's expression, for the comet illuminated all in its scope. Elizabeth felt warm, startled, and unaccountably awkward.

"Such wonders as one could go an entire lifetime without witnessing. It is good to be here," she whispered as she withdrew her hand from his forearm and tore her gaze from his. "With a friend."

"Yes. I could not agree more."

"Allow me to extend an apology to you, Mr Darcy. It seems as though I have taken into account observations and information about you that have proven to be unfounded. My conclusions were—well, they were hasty at best, and faulty at worst."

"That is a common enough occurrence, even among those who have the cleverest of minds. My own initial impressions of Hertfordshire were precipitous, and several of them were reversed as time and proper understanding proved me to be—there is no escaping the words—utterly wrong."

"You mean about Jane?" Elizabeth could not keep the eager brightness from her voice. The smile of a sister always hoping to further the happiness of another sister was broad on her face as she risked returning her gaze to him.

"That, yes. Among others."

"I wish you had been able to remain in Hertfordshire and help promote their courtship. There seems to be little lack of feeling, on either side. I hope that his sisters have not convinced him to leave Hertfordshire for very long, for they appear to be so very much in love."

"They are unaccountably fortunate, in that regard," Mr Darcy said as a small downturn of the corner of his mouth hinted at distress.

Does he speak of a disappointment of his own? There is such a sadness to his look!

Elizabeth felt a rush of sympathy for him. To have battled against the adversity of retrenching the Darcy finances, the greedy perfidy of Wickham, a pall cast over the memory of his father, and now having had some sort of disappointment of the heart? Were they yet on terms that would justify her pressing for his confidence? Typically, she would have recoiled from the very idea. But their situation was so very unusual, she decided to hazard it.

Elizabeth bit her lip and looked away. Taking a leap of courage, she asked, "Was there a particular person you were loath to leave? In England?"

At that moment, a rather large bank of clouds began their swift coverage of the comet, beginning at the tail. She turned her gaze back up to his, but as the seconds passed, the supernatural, eerie glow of the Great Comet dimmed, and Mr Darcy's expression was in darkness. She could read nothing of his countenance.

Elizabeth became aware of the bulk of the man next to her. His height was imposing and the width of his chest broad. She could sense, rather than see, his warm, reassuring presence. As the comet above and the sea below increased the sensation of her own insignificance in her place in the world, Mr Darcy was there, beside her, somehow anchoring her from being adrift and on an uncertain path.

"A particular lady, you ask?" he said in a low tone that rumbled through the sharp wind. "Yes. There was. I thought there was the beginning of an understanding between us. I was mistaken."

Unable to curb her constant, insatiable curiosity, Elizabeth pressed on. "Did she discover the unfortunate circumstances of your finances? Is that why there is no longer an understanding?"

"It was a presumption on my part. I thought that any lady would be—well, you observed how eagerly Miss Bingley paid me every attention she possibly could, within the boundaries of respectability, of course."

"Oh. I imagine that is not a unique experience for the owner of Pemberley."

"No, it is wearisome and commonplace."

There was silence for a few moments. Elizabeth broke it with the bright observation, "Then I am very grateful for my relative poverty! I am certain that I will never be pursued for mercenary reasons. Even Mr Collins remarked on my pert charms, you know, as an inducement. If a gentleman were ever foolish enough to develop an interest in me, it would be for myself alone. I can, at least, acquit Mr Collins of any greedy motives when he proposed to me."

"I think you have struck upon his one good quality. He was able to perceive your merits."

This scrap of praise, so unusual, from such an unexpected source, caused Elizabeth to inhale sharply. She could not recall a single instance in their entire acquaintance where he had said one gracious thing that bordered on a compliment. Many dry, uncomplimentary remarks could be recalled in a moment, for Elizabeth did not doubt that his prideful superciliousness was as strong as ever.

Even though the compliment had been intended as praise of Mr Collins, Elizabeth dropped her chin and smiled down at the water. This remodelling of their previously contentious relationship into one of friendly companionship was deeply pleasing.

"It is too bad that Mr Collins is not here to witness this compliment for himself. Mr Darcy, nephew to Lady Catherine de Bourgh, praising his discernment. I can only imagine the grateful, effusive thanks he would return to you. But I can fill the depreciation, if you would like, for I remember much of what I have heard him say of you. I do a passable imitation of Mr Collins, you know, if you would like to hear it."

Mr Darcy laughed heartily at this. "Please, I beg of you, do not repeat anything that man has said of me. Or I shall have to retaliate by creating my imagined praise of his for you."

"Thank you, no, I do not think I could bear any more of it. Not for an instant."

"It begins to be late, I think. In the morning, I believe we should begin to discuss the business of our journey, if that would be amenable to you."

"Oh, yes! I am eager to learn all I can of the steam engine that we are transporting. This is so terribly exciting. Do you know that, a few years ago, I—" She paused. "Never mind. It is of no consequence, a foolish recollection."

"Please, do continue," Mr Darcy declared in such a decided tone that it startled Elizabeth.

"Well, if you insist. My father had shown me a design for a steam engine used to take water out of mines, in the North of England."

"A Newcomen?"

"Yes! The very one. I was intrigued once my father explained how it made the mining conditions less dangerous for the men. So, I would frequently sneak into the kitchen and attempt to see what could be moved by the steam from the kettle. Things like feathers or scraps of paper. I found that if I narrowed the aperture through which the steam escaped, I could move things of light weight! It was terribly interesting."

"My goodness, your interest in the natural sciences extends back that far?"

"I have many sad scrapes that I got myself into in the pursuit of knowledge. One involves a broken arm."

"Really? Were you attempting to fly from the roof of Longbourn with wings you constructed?"

"Nothing so noble and inspiring. However, you shall have to wait to hear more."

"I look forward to it," he replied with a small bow. "I think you should proceed me to the cabin. I will wait here for a few moments as you—you prepare yourself."

Elizabeth had never been more grateful for the darkness of a cloudy night. Though even the clouds that had rolled in could not completely extinguish the glow of the comet, the heat of what she was certain was noticeable embarrassment in her expression was well hidden.

"I could easily return to my own cabin, sir. You need not continue to importune yourself so terribly as—"

"No," Mr Darcy replied sharply. "I am more than willing to accommodate you on many things, but on this I will not be moved. To imagine you alone, unattended for the entire night, in the guise of a weak young fellow… It is unacceptable. The floor is rather comfortable, once one becomes accustomed to it. Since I am willing to compromise on so much, perhaps you could extend me the same grace. Lock the door as you undress— Just lock the door and then unlock when you hear the bells for the half hour."

Elizabeth felt the rightness of his words. If she had come aboard as a lady and started the voyage as such, she would no doubt be treated accordingly. But to be discovered by some rough fellow in some moment of awkwardness, it was too terrible to contemplate.

" If it will make you more easy, I will do as you wish. I am perfectly comfortable being alone in my cabin, but it would make you ill at ease. To lessen your anxiety, I will oblige."

"You are all goodness. I thank you." Mr Darcy gave another small bow of his head.

Elizabeth could not be entirely certain because of the dark and wind, but as she walked away, she thought his response had contained a lilt of repressed laughter.

It was a restless night for Elizabeth. Just as she began to drift off to slumber, Mr Darcy shifted and changed his position as he lay a few feet away on the floor below the berth. The sound of the fabric as it moved over him, the small hissing of his breath as he slept. They entered her mind and made her uneasy. She could not find a spot of comfort! It was unaccountable. She had already spent a night in his cabin the evening prior—why should this be any different?

She squeezed her eyes shut and demanded her body slumber. It was fruitless. Not until the small hours of the morning, did she finally slip into a deep, dreamless sleep.