Chapter 26

Willis took a deep breath as he got out of his car, his eyes fixed on Marsha's house. He still couldn't get over how charming it was. It seemed to be a house made out of her personality—delicate and whimsical, quaint and sweet. He loved spending time in it with her, although he currently felt nervous as he approached her front door. He was there to help her put the finishing touches on their costumes—and although he was looking forward to the competition, he didn't want their project to end. He had enjoyed working with her so much.

He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. When she'd shown up unexpectedly in The Crab a few days before, he'd felt like he was twenty years old again. His heart had started beating faster, and he'd felt as light as a feather. He hadn't enjoyed making a sandwich that much in years—he'd been so excited for her to enjoy it. Cooking had suddenly changed from work into an art form.

I don't want to stop seeing her, he thought as he rang the doorbell. I think—I think I'm willing to take a chance and ask her if she wants to have another go at our relationship.

His heart tightened at the thought—it was hard for him to face the idea of potentially getting hurt again like that. He reminded himself that he needed to muster all his courage for this. Telling Marsha that she was the love of his life had been difficult for him, but he'd managed it. Now he needed to find the courage to try again with her.

Marsha opened the door, and his face broke open into a grin as soon as he saw her. At first, he had tried to be reserved, and conceal the fact that she made his heart beat faster, but now he felt like he couldn't hide it anymore. What would be the point, anyway, since he'd decided that he wanted to ask her if she was willing to try again?

He realized that another reason why bringing the subject up to her felt so hard was because he had resisted the idea so stubbornly at first. His pride didn't like the idea of appearing indecisive, but he reminded himself that important things are worth changing one's mind over. Him changing his mind under the circumstances could hardly be called indecisiveness.

"Good evening, Willis." Her eyes looked warm as she smiled at him. "Thanks for coming over."

"Of course. How are you?" he asked as he stepped inside.

"I'm good," she said, but somehow he felt that something might be wrong. She sounded more breathless than usual, and although the look in her eyes was kind, it was also a little sad.

Maybe she's sad because she's expressed a desire for us to try again, and I haven't said yes, he thought. I should tell her that I changed my mind.

But before he could bring up the fact that he wanted to talk to her, she said, "Would you like to see what I did on the costumes?"

"I'd love to. But I thought we'd agreed that you shouldn't do any work without me?"

She laughed lightly. "I couldn't help myself. I love sewing, you know."

"I know." For a moment he smiled down at her and she smiled back.

They went into her work studio and she showed him the progress she'd made. In addition to the sewing, she'd painted the quotes they'd gathered from members of Blueberry Bay onto their costumes using gold and silver fabric paints.

"These are beautiful, Marsha," he said, genuinely amazed by how incredible the costumes looked. "You really have an artist's touch."

"Oh, thank you." She blushed slightly.

"I mean it. I'm glad you got to live the kind of life you always wanted. At least eventually." He gazed at her warmly as he said the words. He was thinking that perhaps her life could become even more like how she'd once dreamed it would be.

Her face fell the moment he said the words, however. "In some ways, yes." Her voice was quiet.

He nodded. He knew she'd wanted marriage and a family, and his heart ached for her, because she hadn't had either. But he realized that what they were talking about was a perfect gateway into what he wanted to discuss with her. His adrenaline began to pick up speed as he prepared himself to bring up what he had been thinking about.

"Marsha." He reached out and took her hand gently. She looked up at him with wide, slightly startled eyes. Her hand felt warm in his. "You deserve all the most wonderful things in life. You really do. I—" He swallowed. "I'm sorry I never reached out to you after you left all those years ago. I wish I had. I was struggling with being hurt by the fact that you didn't stand up for us. You gave up what you wanted, which was staying with me instead of moving away."

She looked up at him, nodding as he spoke. Her movements were gentle and a little nervous, like a bird.

"In those days," he said slowly, "it felt like it meant you didn't love me as much as I thought you did. I kept telling myself that I would never let anyone get in the way of us, and since you did let someone else get in the way of us, it felt like you didn't love me as much as I loved you. And I loved you so much." His voice broke for a moment, and she squeezed his hand tightly. "But I understand how difficult it was for you now. I know how hard it is for children to go against their parents' wishes. I saw that with Hannah. She stayed working at The Crab for a long time even when what she really wanted to do was go off and pursue her dreams, because she didn't want to hurt me." He took a deep breath and took both of Marsha's hands in his. "I've been doing a lot of thinking. And I've been doing a lot of feeling too, although that hasn't been on purpose. And I'm wondering… if perhaps I was wrong. Maybe shutting down the possibility of us getting back together is not the right thing to do. Maybe things would work out and… and it would be wonderful." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

She inhaled shakily, but he realized that she still had that sad look in her eyes. "I—I've been doing a lot of thinking too, Willis," she said softly. "I guess all this reminiscing about the past because of this costume contest has kept me dwelling on things that were. I think… I think maybe it's best for us to leave the past in the past, and let those memories stay sweet. Maybe we should just cherish the memories."

He listened, his eyes widening. He couldn't believe that she was saying what she was.

"What do you mean, Marsha? You don't want to try again?"

She shook her head. "No—no, I don't think we should. I think you were right. So much time has elapsed. I think it might be best to leave things as they are."

He inhaled, feeling as though he'd been kicked in the chest. He felt heartbroken. "I don't understand what made you change your mind," he said softly. "I thought you wanted us to try again."

"I did," she said gently, blinking back tears. "But I thought about it, and—I just—I think that maybe we'll be less hurt just leaving things the way they are."

He felt tears welling up in his own eyes. He could sense that she was very afraid, and that was what her decision was coming from. He wanted to assure her that everything would work out fine, but he swallowed the words. He couldn't promise her that they wouldn't both get hurt—he was still afraid of that himself.

"Please, Marsha," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He could feel her take a deep breath, but she didn't say anything. They looked into each other's eyes, and two tears rolled down her cheeks. He leaned his head down and kissed her lips gently.

"I—I don't think we should, Willis," she said at last. "I'm sorry. I think it's better if we just stay friends. We can stay friends, can't we?"

He nodded. He would rather be able to see her sometimes "just as a friend" than never get to see her at all. "Yes, we can be friends."

She gave him a watery smile. "Thank you."

They held each other closely for a few more moments, and then she gently pulled herself away. "Do you want to work on the costumes tonight still?"

He wanted to tell her that it was probably best if he went home. He felt like there was a rock in his chest, but he reminded himself that he'd just agreed to be friends. Besides, even though he was sad about what she'd decided, he didn't want to leave her side.

"Yes, I think we should." He forced a smile.

"I have some blueberry pie I made today. And some vanilla ice cream to go with it."

"Sounds delicious."

They worked on completing the finishing touches of their costumes together, taking a break to eat some of Marsha's sweet and crumbly pie paired with rich and creamy ice cream. They talked and laughed together, but a cloud of sadness seemed to hang over their evening. Finally, Willis wished her a good night on the doorstep, doing his best to keep smiling bravely.