Chapter 23

Paige stood in front of the mirror on top of her dresser, brushing her long blonde hair. She was wearing a beautiful black dress and cute heels, but her expression looked far from excited. It was the evening of the party to celebrate her scholarship, and she still hadn't told Josie about how she really felt about everything—that she didn't want to go to college, and she wanted to attend the Flourish Baking School instead.

I've backed myself into a corner here,she thought, wincing as she set her hairbrush down on her dresser. I can't tell Josie now, can I? I wish I'd had the courage to say something sooner.

But the opportunities had slipped away from her. Josie had been busier than usual, and their paths hadn't often crossed. When they had, her older sister had seemed distracted—she was usually on the phone with Wesley or someone else, planning the party. Paige knew she should have just clearly told Josie that she had something important she needed to say to her, but she'd kept telling herself that there would be a better opportunity later.

And now it was the evening of the party, and she felt like she'd missed her chance. Her stomach was in knots and her mind was spinning anxiously.

"Are you almost ready, Paige?" Josie called from the hallway. "I'm hoping to leave in like five minutes!"

"Yeah, I'll be ready!" she called back.

She was already ready, but she wanted the five minutes to try to calm herself down.

Finally, glancing at her watch, she decided she needed to face the music. Sighing, she picked up her purse and made her way toward the front door of the apartment.

Josie was waiting for her in the kitchen, and she gasped as soon as she saw her sister.

"You look amazing! Oh, I'm so glad you decided to wear your graduation dress like we talked about. It really suits you."

Paige shrugged. "I don't really have another one." She did her best to smile.

Josie beamed at her. "Well, we'll have to fix that. You all ready to go?"

Paige took a deep breath. She felt like this was her last chance to tell Josie, and even though her heart was thumping, she told herself firmly that she needed to follow Sandy's advice, and be honest.

"Josie—"

At that moment, Josie's phone buzzed and she glanced at the screen. "Oh, Wesley's there already! We should go. What were you saying?"

Paige shook her head, feeling deflated. "Never mind."

They drove out to The Crab, and Paige kept trying to tell herself to be happy. She reminded herself that she was lucky to be as well-supported as she was, and to have that many people who wanted to celebrate with her. It was a comforting thought, but it didn't make the sinking feeling in her stomach go away.

Once they arrived, Wesley and Josie bustled around the event room of the restaurant, attending to last minute details like adjusting decorations. Paige did her best to help, but she could feel herself having a mini freak-out.

Just before the guests were due to begin arriving, the Ryans appeared in the doorway to the event room. Tommy gave Paige a hug while Daniel and Sandy shook Wesley and Josie's hands. The Ryans had brought two bowls of snack food for the party—caramel corn and barbecue-flavored potato chips.

As soon as Sandy turned in Paige's direction, her eyebrows lifted. She seemed to be able to tell right away that Paige was upset even though the teenager had been trying to hide her discomfort. Paige bit her lip, and Sandy hurried across the room to her.

"Go for a quick walk with me?" Sandy suggested, smiling kindly. "There's a couple more things in the car I could use some help getting."

"Sure." Paige nodded, even though she knew that Sandy really just wanted to talk with her privately. They stepped out of the event room and started toward the side entrance to The Crab.

"You didn't tell Josie, huh?" Sandy asked quietly as they walked. "Did you change your mind?"

Paige shook her head. "No, I didn't change my mind. I still want to go to the baking school." She found that her voice shook a little bit as she said it.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Sandy's tone was gentle, but Paige felt ashamed anyway. They stepped out of The Crab into the glow of the streetlights outside.

"I—I just kept waiting for a better moment," Paige groaned. "And—well, I don't know. I just feel overwhelmed by it all."

"I understand that." Sandy stopped outside the doors, not making any move to go into the parking lot toward her car. "Just remember that Josie loves you, and while this party is technically about the scholarship—"

"Paige!"

They both turned as the side door of The Crab opened. "Come back inside!" Josie called. "People are arriving, you should be here to greet them!"

Paige nodded. "I'll be back in a sec!" She turned back to Sandy. "Thanks, Mrs. Ryan. Do you need help getting that thing?"

Sandy shook her head, smiling. "I just wanted to check in with you."

"Okay. Thank you. I should go." Paige took two steps back toward The Crab, and Sandy reached out and touched her arm.

"Hey," she said. "You can do this. You can still tell her how you feel."

Paige bit her lip. "I should go."

"No worries! See you back in there in a second."

The teenager hurried back inside the restaurant, her heart turning around in somersaults. As scary as the idea of saying something now was, Sandy's words had given her a sense of relief. Maybe she wasn't as trapped as she felt like she was.

The event room of The Crab was filled with people. All of her friends and Josie's friends were there—as well as a dark-haired older woman, who looked like the picture of Marsha Dunlap from the old newspaper article. Paige realized with a rush of excitement that it must be her, since she and Josie had talked about inviting her. She noticed that Marsha and Willis were sitting near each other, both looking a little nervous and not quite looking at each other. She smiled quietly to herself, momentarily distracted from her own concerns.

"Congratulations, Paige!" called out Caitlin from where she was standing with Michael and Pearl. She hurried across the room to her and gave her a hug. "Just wait until you open your gift."

Paige swallowed, noticing that a table in the corner of the room was stacked with presents. Her anxiety mounted as she saw it, and she felt a rush of guilt. She couldn't accept these presents—it felt like receiving gifts under false pretenses. Everyone here was under the impression that she was going to accept her scholarship and go to college, but she felt that she couldn't do that. She felt a little as if she was underwater, trying to swim to the surface. She knew she had to say something, and she felt her heart race. She didn't know how she was going to say it.

She was surrounded by people shaking her hand and hugging her and telling her congratulations. She smiled at everyone and responded to their words as best she could, but she felt like she was in a daze.

Finally, everyone had said congratulations to her, gotten a plate of food, and taken a seat at one of the tables. As everyone was sitting and eating, Josie stood up, clinking her spoon against the side of her water glass.

"I'm going to make a speech," Josie said, beaming at her sister. She took a deep breath. "Paige, I am so proud of you. You've worked so hard, investing in your talents and using your mind. You've won a full-ride scholarship, setting yourself up for success at such a young age. We've all tasted your bakery, and we know how amazing it is. I have full confidence that someday, you're going to own your own bakery somewhere."

Paige listened, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She felt all kinds of emotions at once—love for her sister, gratitude that she was being celebrated, and discomfort that Josie was saying all those things when she felt that she couldn't accept the scholarship.

Not a bakery somewhere, Paige thought. Here. I want to have a bakery here. I don't want to go away, not even temporarily for college.

Josie spoke for another couple of minutes, talking about how grateful she was to have been reunited with her sister, and sharing memories of Paige. She finished her speech by saying, "And so, Paige, I cannot express how proud I am of you, and how excited for you I am. I can't wait to hear about the college experiences you're about to have."

Josie sat down and the room filled with enthusiastic applause.

"Paige should give a speech!" Tommy called out, grinning, and Paige winced. She knew he meant well, but the last thing she wanted just then was to have to give a speech.

"Speech!" Several other people took up the cry, grinning and clapping. "A speech from Paige!"

Swallowing, Paige stood up. She realized in a flash that this was it—this was the moment when she needed to share how she really felt.

At least I'm telling everyone at once, and getting that over with,she thought wryly, feeling her stomach slosh with nervousness.

She took a deep breath, gathering her courage, and began to speak.

"I want to start by thanking everyone for being here." She looked around the room at all the smiling faces and felt a glow in her heart. "You all have shown me how much you care about me, and it's something I'm absolutely never going to forget. I mean that."

Josie was beaming at her, her eyes shining. Paige took another deep breath.

"When I first arrived in Blueberry Bay, I thought I wouldn't like it here. I wanted to leave as soon as possible. But this town has welcomed me with open arms, and totally captured my heart. I love it here. I love the old buildings, and the waterfront, and all of you. People are kind here in a way that I've never experienced before. Being here, and getting to be reunited with Josie, has really changed my life."

Murmurs of appreciation rippled around the room. Everyone was smiling at her, and a few people—including Sandy and Josie—were wiping tears away.

"And because I feel that I've found my home here in Blueberry Bay, I really don't want to leave," Paige continued, finding that her courage was mounting as she continued. It was ultimately just a matter of saying the words. She could do that. She just had to get the words out. "I'm so grateful for everyone's well wishes. I'm so thankful that you're all here. And I don't take the scholarship opportunity that I've been given lightly at all. I understand what an honor it is. But—" she took a deep breath—"I won't be taking it."

The room filled with pin-drop silence. The guests stared at Paige, looking wide-eyed and dumbstruck. Paige swallowed, feeling her heart rate accelerate. She didn't want to disappoint anyone, but she did feel a rush of relief now that she'd said the words.

As soon as she saw Josie's face, however, her heart sank. Her sister looked pale, and so shocked it was like she had been slapped in the face. Paige's heart twisted—she immediately regretted having told her sister the way that she did. The utter shock on Josie's face was too much for her. She felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Josie," she said, and turned and ran out of the restaurant.

Once she was outside, the cool night air brushed against the tears that were running down her cheeks. She leaned against the side of the building, taking deep breaths and trying not to cry anymore. She shut her eyes tightly, managing to stop the tears. A few seconds later, Josie burst out of the restaurant, calling for her.

"There you are!" Josie hurried down the sidewalk toward her sister and folded her into a hug.

"I'm sorry," Paige sobbed, unable to keep from crying now that Josie was there with her. "I know I should have told you sooner, and I kept trying to, but I didn't want you to be disappointed and I just kept freezing up—"

"It's okay," Josie said soothingly, hugging her sister tightly. "It's okay. But—why are you declining your scholarship? You just want to stay here?"

Paige detected the disappointment in Josie's voice, and she swallowed. "I do want to stay here, but I also want to go to school. There's a baking school in Providence—Flourish Baking School. I toured it and I love it so much. The students there can take businesses classes at a college in Providence, so I'd still be getting a business education. I just—I don't know, it feels right to me. I want to become an even better baker, and so I think I'm better off going to a baking school than accepting the scholarship for a business degree. I don't want to leave Blueberry Bay—and this way I can still visit easily on the weekends, or even commute during the week. I—I'm sorry, Josie, I know you wanted me to go to college, but this is what I want to do."

Josie listened intently as her sister spoke, her eyes wide with surprise but still kind. "How long have you been thinking about this?" she asked quietly.

"For a long time," Paige admitted, wincing. "There's a woman from Flourish Baking School who came into Tidal Wave Coffee and tasted something I made, and then told me all about the school. And even before then, I—well, going to college just never felt right to me. I'm sorry, Josie."

Her sister shook her head. "Paige, it's okay. It's your life. You get to make those kinds of decisions. I just feel bad that you didn't feel free to tell me. Were you just worried I was going to be disappointed?"

Paige nodded, biting her lip.

"I would never be disappointed in you over something like this! Just because I loved college doesn't mean it's the right path for you. You're still planning on working hard to achieve your dreams, and I couldn't be more proud of you."

Paige felt another rush of tears, but they felt very different this time.

"I just know getting that scholarship was a big deal, and—"

"Hey, I understand. It's okay. Besides, now some other kid that really wants that scholarship is going to get it."

"That's true." Paige took a deep breath and smiled at her sister. "You're really not disappointed in me?"

"Not at all." Josie hugged her again. "But even if I was—you get to disappoint me, okay? That's life sometimes. We're not always going to want the same things, and you've got to take the reins of your own life. Besides." She grinned as she gave her sister a sideways hug. "Selfishly, I'm super excited that I'm not going to lose my sister quite yet."

Paige shook her head emphatically. "You're never going to lose me."

The sideways hug turned into a full hug, and Paige closed her eyes, relief flooding her.

"What do you say we go back in there and celebrate?" Josie suggested.

"But the party is for the scholarship—"

"The party is for you. You graduated from high school and did really well in it, and you're about to do super cool things with your life. It's not about the scholarship. It's about the fact that we're all insanely proud of you."

The sisters exchanged a warm smile and walked back into The Crab with their arms around each other.