Chapter 16

"Oh my. Isn't it beautiful, Olivia?"

Marsha peered out of the window of her niece's car as they approached the Beyond the Sea cruise ship. The sleek sides of the vessel gleamed in the waning sunlight, and it rocked ever-so-gently on the surface of the waves.

Oh, I won't get seasick on a boat like that,Marsha thought happily. It looks very sturdy. And so elegant.

"Just look at the way the light is shining on all the windows," she said to Olivia, touching her niece's arm. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"It's gorgeous." Olivia beamed at her. "I'm so glad you agreed to come out tonight, Aunt Marsha."

Marsha smiled and smoothed down the front of her dress. She'd been a little taken aback when Olivia had said she wanted to go to Blueberry Bay for dinner that night and that she wanted her aunt to come with her, but Marsha had been excited about the Beyond the Sea Dinner Cruise ever since she'd read about its grand opening in The Outlet. She'd heard wonderful things about the cuisine and how picturesque the views from the boat were. Even though she was hesitant to go to Blueberry Bay—something she hadn't done in years—she didn't want to pass up the opportunity to go on the cruise ship, especially with someone she was as fond of as Olivia.

"It was sweet of you to offer, dear." She patted her niece's hand.

"You look great tonight." Olivia grinned at her. "That blue dress is killer, and it makes your eyes look brighter than ever. And I love that silver necklace."

"Oh, thank you." She laughed at Olivia's use of the word "killer." "It's been a long time since I had a reason to dress up like this. You look absolutely beautiful, as always."

"Aw shucks. Thank you! And thanks for helping me get that stain out of this dress. That's the last time I eat chocolate ice cream while having a laughing attack."

"Hey, life's too short to not have laughing attacks while eating chocolate ice cream. Especially in a beautiful dress."

Olivia threw her head back laughing. "Truer words were never spoken." Still chuckling, she maneuvered her car into a parking spot close to the ship. They got out eagerly and started walking along the dock.

"This sunset is going to be perfect," Marsha said, thrilled as she noticed how pink the eastern sky was beginning to look. "Look at how vibrant the sky is already. And with all these clouds? It's going to be gorgeous."

"Very romantic," Olivia said, looking at the sky with a grin.

"Well, I don't know about that!" Marsha laughed. "Are you planning on meeting a man on board this cruise ship tonight?"

"Um, no."

Marsha glanced at Olivia, curious. There had been something almost skittish about her niece's response that had seemed odd. At that moment, however, they reached the gangplank of the cruise ship, and she forgot about everything else.

"Oh, I haven't been on a ship in years," she said to Olivia as they walked on board. "I'm so excited!" She laughed breathlessly, and noticed her niece smiling at her in a way that could only be described as sentimental. "What is it?"

"Oh, you just look really happy. Your eyes are shining and your cheeks are flushed and—well, you just really look beautiful tonight, Aunt Marsha."

"My goodness, so many compliments! Thank you, sweetheart. You're a darling to arrange all this."

"I hope you like what I've arranged." Olivia laughed breathlessly.

Marsha glanced at her niece curiously again, but at that moment, a beautiful woman with brown hair pinned back in a French twist approached them. She was wearing a smart gray pantsuit and had on sparkling diamond earrings.

"Hi, I'm Caitlin Lewis," the woman said, holding out her hand for a handshake and smiling warmly. "Welcome aboard the Beyond the Sea Dinner Cruise. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?"

"My name is Marsha Dunlap," she said, shaking Caitlin's hand firmly. "So nice to meet you. This is my niece, Olivia Dunlap."

My goodness,she's friendly, Marsha thought, watching the way Caitlin shook Olivia's hand with a happy gleam in her eyes as if they were old friends. She looks almost as excited to have us here as we are to be here.

"May I show you to your table?" Caitlin asked. "It's on the upper deck, with a wonderful view."

"Yes," stammered Marsha. "Thank you so much."

The moment Caitlin's back was turned to them, she looked at her niece and mouthed "Oh my goodness." Olivia grinned, looking like she was about to burst with excitement.

They followed Caitlin up a short flight of stairs onto the upper deck. The cruise ship had been strung with twinkling lights, and candles flickered with golden light on every table.

"You'll be right over here," Caitlin said, gesturing to a table in the corner.

There were two people seated at the table, behind a small bouquet of pink roses. Marsha was about to turn to Caitlin and tell her that there must be some mistake, that they weren't planning on meeting anyone else there—but then she noticed that one of the people at the table was Hannah Jenkins, Willis's daughter. And the man sitting beside her—

Marsha's heart skipped a beat. All at once, she felt as though it was hard to breathe. Her first instinct was to turn around and exit the upper deck immediately, but Olivia took her hand and started to tug her gently toward the table.

"Hey, Hannah!" she called, waving.

"You two know each other?" Marsha whispered, but then she didn't even hear Olivia's response, because Willis looked in their direction, and it was clear that he recognized her.

He stood up, his eyes fixed on her face. She couldn't read his expression—he just looked stunned.

"Hello, Hannah," she said breathlessly, turning to the dark-haired girl. Then she turned to Willis, feeling her heart pounding. "And—are you—you must be Willis." The words came strangely out of her mouth. She didn't know what else to say.

"Marsha," he said gruffly. He blinked at her, and nodded, but didn't smile. "It's been a long time."

"It has," she said. She smiled weakly.

"Well, since we seem to have a mix up with our tables, let's go ahead and sit down," Olivia said. Her eyes were twinkling mischievously in a way that made Marsha feel sure that the tables hadn't been mixed up at all.

"You two planned this, didn't you?" she said, turning to her niece. Olivia looked at Hannah and grinned.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation," Hannah said, laughing lightly.

"I think—" Marsha glanced at Willis. He clearly had not been in on the scheme. He looked tense, and completely taken aback. She found herself disappointed that he hadn't been part of the plans for their reunion. "I think that maybe we should get another table, Olivia," she said softly. She didn't want Willis to feel uncomfortable, and she didn't want to sit there and talk with him if he wasn't comfortable with it.

I shouldn't be disappointed.It's not fair to wish that he wanted to see me when I was avoiding seeing him, she told herself.

"No, please," Hannah urged her. "We'd love for you to stay and talk with us. Right, Dad?" She beamed at her father, and he nodded, keeping his eyes somewhere on the back wall of the cruise ship.

He looks a little upset,Marsha thought, feeling her stomach twist. I feel badly for him if his heart is pounding as much as mine is right now. She blinked at him. My goodness, he's still handsome.

She looked at his face, tracing her eyes over the creases in his skin, and the flecks of gray at his temples. He was certainly not the eligible bachelor that he'd been when they were young, but she still found him dashing. He still carried himself with a masculine confidence, and his eyes glittered with an intelligent light. She wondered what he thought of her and how much she'd changed over the years. She felt her heart flutter at the thought.

"Perfect!" Olivia said. "And that's good with you too, right, Aunt Marsha?"

"Yes," she stammered. "I—well, if it's all right with everyone else."

"Great!" Hannah stood up. "Then we'll leave you two alone to catch up!"

She and Olivia sprinted off together, grinning, leaving Marsha and Willis gawking at them.

"Oh my," Marsha stammered. "But… are they getting off the boat?"

"The ship is just casting off now," Willis said. "My guess is the girls are eating downstairs somewhere."

She hesitated, and offered him a smile, although she suddenly felt extremely shy. "It seems we've been tricked."

"It would seem so." He looked at her and smiled tentatively. He walked around to her side of the table, holding her chair out for her to sit down.

Her heart fluttered a little over his action. It was something he'd used to do for her very often, many years ago when they were dating.

This has all taken me so much by surprise,she thought, watching him as he sat down across from her. But it turns out that I'm glad it happened. I've always wondered what it would be like to see him again.

"We certainly have two sneaky girls in our lives." She laughed, clasping her hands in her lap.

He smiled a little, but when he spoke, his voice was gruff. "Hannah means well, I know she does. But she doesn't always know what's best."

"Oh." She watched his face, swallowing.

I wonder if he's still upset with me after all these years,she thought. I know I broke his heart. I would understand if he still carried some wounds from that.

"I'm happy to see you, Willis," she said gently.

He nodded and blinked a few times. It was a few heartbeats before he said, "It's nice to see you too, Marsha."

Strangely enough, she felt comfortable enough with him to just come right out and ask the question that was on her mind. Perhaps it was the fact that she assumed she wouldn't see him again after their dinner that night, or perhaps it was that she still felt as though he was her confidant, even after all those years apart.

"Willis, did you ever forgive me for not standing up to my mother?"

Willis swallowed. She waited for his answer, feeling her heart beat quickly.

"It was a long time ago," he said finally.

She nodded. "It was."

Her heart sank when she heard his response, since she had been hoping that he would assure her that he had forgiven her. She wondered if, since he had avoided the question, he was still holding on to some anger against her. Or perhaps he didn't know if he'd ever forgiven her or not. It might have been something he'd never really asked himself.

A waitress came by and took their order. Marsha and Willis chatted about ordinary things for a few minutes. They talked about the weather, and about what was going on in the world at large. As the cruise ship moved along the beautiful coastline, they often looked out the window and observed the breathtaking sunset.

"It's lovely, isn't it?" she asked, feeling a sweet ache in her chest. She found that she was happy to be there with him, even if it was a strange and unexpected thing.

"It is," he said, his eyes lingering on her face as he said it.

She turned back to the window and watched the scenery as she finished her meal of cordon bleu and asparagus. It was excellent food—one of the most delicious dinners she'd had in a long time.

When they finished their dinner, the waitress came by to let them know that their meal had been on the house, and they didn't owe anything.

"Oh my," Marsha said. "That's very sweet."

"Compliments of Caitlin Lewis," said the waitress, winking.

"I'll have to write her up a thank you card or something," Marsha said to Willis as the waitress walked away. He nodded but didn't say anything.

The cruise ship was making its way back to the Blueberry Bay harbor. Even though their meal was now finished, she knew they had some time before their unexpected evening together was over. She wanted to turn back to the subject of their past, so that they could reach some closure together, but she didn't know where to begin.

"As long as we're here together," she said, stammering a little, "I'd like to talk about everything that happened between us all those years ago. Would that be all right with you?"

"Yes." He hesitated slightly before saying the word, but the look he gave her was kind.

"And I'd like to start by apologizing." Her voice was quiet. She found it hard to talk—these words had been collecting dust in her heart for years.

He fidgeted with his water glass, turning it around in a circle on the table. His eyes rested on the floor, although she could sense that all of his energy was tuned in to her, listening. She could see that he was uncomfortable, and her heart went out to him.

"It was a long time ago, but I'm still sorry for what happened," she said quietly. "I really am, Willis. I've regretted what I did. So much."

He looked up at her briefly and nodded.

"My love for you was true," she said, finding that the words just spilled out of her. It was something she had wanted to say to him many times after their parting. She never thought she'd get a chance to actually say them out loud to him, and yet there she was. She felt a little lightheaded, almost as if she was living inside some kind of dream.

He grunted, still not quite looking at her.

"Don't you believe that, Willis?" she asked, her voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.

"I believe that it was true," he said. His fingers tightened around the glass. "I do. But the years that I spent after you'd left… well, love has never been kind to me. Not from you, and not from my wife. I'm not sure I put much faith in true love, if I'm being perfectly honest."

His voice was gruff, and so quiet it was hard for her to hear him. She remembered how rare it was for him to open up about his emotions, and she felt honored that he was sharing his heart with her then.

"I heard from Hannah about your wife," she said gently. "I'm so sorry."

She realized with a pang that from Willis's perspective, he got left twice. First by her, and then by his wife. But it sounded as though his wife had left heartlessly, because she was no longer interested in their relationship. That couldn't have been farther from what Marsha had been feeling when she left Blueberry Bay.

"How about you?" he asked her. "Are you married?"

"No." She shook her head hurriedly. "I never married. I supposed love has also been unkind to me, in the opposite way. Circumstances have pushed me into being alone."

He looked up at her then. His mouth was set in a straight line, but the light in his eyes at that moment made his expression a tender look.

"I'm sorry," he said, stammering a little. He seemed taken aback, as if he'd been sure that she was married. "That really is a shame. I would have wished for you to find someone. I've been telling myself you were happy all this time." He cleared his throat.

She smiled at him and repressed an impulse to reach across the table and touch his hand. "It's all right," she assured him. "I've been happy in other ways. My niece, Olivia, who you met just now, lives with me in my house in Whale Harbor. She's a darling."

He returned her smile tentatively, and she decided to keep talking. She didn't want to miss this opportunity to tell him how she had felt all those long years.

"I always regretted leaving, Willis." Her eyes were on his face even though he was looking down at the tablecloth. Then again, she reflected, maybe it would be too hard to say what she wanted to and look at him, if he was looking directly back at her. "My mother… she made me feel so guilty about everything. It wasn't that I believed what she was saying—I knew that you wouldn't have been a philanderer like my dad. I trusted you. But… she made me feel that if I didn't go with her, it would be a betrayal. And…" She inhaled, searching for the words. She didn't know how to explain what had happened inside her head and her heart in a way that he would understand. "I had spent all my life doing what she wanted me to. I had this feeling that her well-being was my responsibility. I felt I couldn't let her down—but then I ended up letting you down instead."

He lifted his eyes to hers, and for a moment, they gazed at each other.

"I wanted to reach out and find you again," she said. "I did think about it. But by the time I'd gathered enough courage to even consider reaching out to you, I thought that you must be married to someone else already, and I guess you probably were at the time. I didn't want to disrupt any happiness you had found."

"I understand." His voice sounded a little husky.

"But… your life isn't what I thought it must be," she said, finally giving into her impulse and reaching across the table to take his hand. She squeezed it gently, and he didn't pull away. "And I don't want to be alone, Willis. And I don't want you to be alone either."

He looked back at her, his eyes widening slightly like a deer in the headlights. "I… I feel that it's too late for us to do anything now, Marsha." His tone was gentle, but he looked sad. "Those were the years where those kinds of choices counted. They… sometimes choices made a long time ago affect a person for a lifetime. I think we're already living in the choices that were made back then."

Her lips parted. She didn't know what to say to him, and for a moment, there was silence between them. She felt disappointment, sharp and unexpected, fill her stomach.

"I see where you're coming from, Willis," she said gently.

"But it was wonderful to see you," he said, squeezing her hand. His palm felt warm and strong against hers.

"It was wonderful to see you too," she said, finding that she was blinking rapidly. "Would—would you—if sometimes, you wanted to—"

He shook his head. "I think it's best we part ways for good, Marsha."

She nodded, feeling her heart growing heavier. "I understand." She stood up and smiled at him, feeling grateful for the conversation that they'd just had. She reminded herself that she was lucky she'd seen him again. She was lucky she had a niece who cared about her so much to arrange it.

"Let's go find Olivia and Hannah," she suggested. "If they're still on this cruise ship, we can all get off it together."