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13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

"Like, you know. Feelings."

G age looked at his watch again. It was after nine and Sydney hadn't come in yet. He'd gotten to the office early, so she'd be the one to approach him. Unless she was just going to pretend like the kiss never happened. He felt that'd be easier than talking about it. They both knew it was a mistake and a spur-of-the-moment move on her part.

When he heard the front door open, he went back to pretending he was writing an article. He'd been sitting at the computer for thirty minutes and had two sentences written. He read them. And they both stink. Gage deleted the words and stared at the empty white space on his computer screen.

It took Sydney five minutes to come to his door, which was open a few inches. She tapped on the doorframe. "Do you have a minute?"

"Of course. Come in."

Sydney came through the door and gave him a quick smile, then looked away from him.

"Have a seat."

"I need to stand for this." She glanced at him again, then returned her eyes to the floor. "I need to quit."

"Quit what?"

She looked at him and cocked her head. "My job."

"What? Sydney, we can get past what happened last night."

She shook her head. "I don't think we can. Or I can't."

"Please sit and talk to me."

She sighed, then sat in the chair in front of his desk. "I'm sorry to leave you so suddenly, but I need to do this now. I can't give you a two-week notice."

"Sydney. Please. Tell me what's going on."

She was quiet for a moment. "I rehearsed this so many times this morning. I should've written it down and handed you a letter. Or sent you an email and not even come in. But you deserve better than that. So, here I am. In person. Humiliating myself." She took a breath. "Even though that kiss last night was out of the blue. It's not the first time I've thought about it. I've thought about it a lot, actually." She stood and walked around the room. "I like you Gage. I've always liked you. And I kept telling myself you'd see it someday." She shook her head. "But now I know you never will. The other day when we were talking about what we were looking for. When I said I wanted someone who adores me completely. It sounded like I was kidding. But I wasn't. And I don't think you could ever let go enough to adore anyone completely. You won't allow yourself to be that vulnerable." She shrugged, then looked at him. "And I can't keep working here with the man I love, who doesn't have the capability or the desire to love me back."

Gage was unable to come up with the right words to say. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. He rubbed his face and tried again. "I don't want you to quit, Sydney. I can run the paper without you. But I don't want to. I depend on you. I look forward to seeing you every day. And this just all sucks. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry for being who you are. I just hope someday you'll be able to relax enough to let someone in."

"There's nothing I can say to make you change your mind?"

"No." She moved toward the door. "I'm going to go now. I'll come back later in the week to get my things. I just can't do that right now."

"Take your time. And please think about this some more. I don't want to lose you."

She looked at him from the doorway. "I spent all night thinking about it."

"What about your other job? Are you quitting that, too?"

"As your social liaison?"

"Yeah."

"I…" She took a breath. "I promised I'd see you through to the election. I'll talk to Clementine and see what I can do from the sidelines."

"Meaning not with me."

"Yeah." Her eyes filled with tears. "I really need to go now."

Gage got to his feet. "Please, Sydney."

She shook her head, then went through the door. Gage let her go even though he wanted to go after her and try to talk some sense into her. He sat back down. How did he not see this coming? She said she loved him. Where did that come from? And how long has it been going on?

He scowled at the blank screen, then turned off the monitor. He needed some air. And he needed to think. He went out the front door and sat on the wooden bench in front of the building. He didn't often sit on it. But here he was. When two women came by and asked him what he was going to do about the three empty lots left by the fire, Gage thought maybe he'd picked the wrong spot. He was about to leave when Booker's Blazer stopped on the street in front of him.

Booker rolled down his window. "Is everything okay?"

Gage nodded. "Yeah."

Clementine got out of the passenger seat and walked around the front of the vehicle, then Booker continued down the street to the sheriff's office.

Clementine sat next to Gage. "What's wrong?"

"Why do you think something is wrong?"

"You're sitting out here on the bench instead of working. And you look sad."

"I am sad. Sydney just quit."

"Her job?"

"Yeah."

Clementine turned toward him. "Why?"

Gage shrugged. "It wasn't me this time. Not directly, anyway. Apparently, she has feelings for me. Like, you know. Feelings."

"Right. We all know, Gage."

He looked at her. "You all know?"

"Of course. We've just been waiting for you to figure it out. She just decided to tell you?"

"Well, yeah. After she kissed me last night."

Clementine got to her feet. "She kissed you?"

"Yeah. It was weird and unexpected, and I wasn't sure what to say to her. So she got all embarrassed. And now she wants to quit."

"Maybe she'll get over it. This is just a gut reaction to the kiss."

"I don't think so. I think she means it. She's tired of waiting for me to come around."

Clementine sat back down. "How do you feel about her?"

"I don't know. I think if I was in a place in my life where I was ready to start something. She'd be the one I'd want to start it with."

"That means you like her."

"But I'm not in that place. There's too much other stuff going on. I don't understand how you and Booker, Remy and Bryn, and Pax and Elaina all managed to fit a relationship into your lives. You're all just as busy as I am."

She patted his knee. "You don't fit it in. You let it in. And everything else fits around it. The relationship is the priority. That's the only way it can work."

He shook his head. "I don't think I'm made the same way as you are."

Clementine put a hand on his chest. "You're a Calaway. And this right here is a Calaway heart. You are capable of loving someone, just like the rest of us. You just need to let go and let it happen."

"With Sydney?"

"With anyone. But Sydney would be a very good choice."

He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Clementine rubbed his back. "Nothing is wrong with you. Have I helped at all?"

"No." He glanced at her. "But I'm glad you're here."

"Is she still going to help you with the campaign?"

"She said she would talk with you and help with what she can. She just doesn't want to be around me while she's doing it."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"She actually used the word love. She said she loved me."

Clementine rested her head on Gage's shoulder. "You guys are going to figure this out. You know what you should do today?"

"What?"

"Go fishing with Grandpa."

"He's on the river?"

"Yes. We passed his truck on the way into town."

"Hmm. I should be writing articles."

"The articles can wait. It's only Friday. You have five days to work on them. Go spend some time on the water. You don't even need to fish."

He nodded, then straightened up and looked at her. "When did you become so wise?"

"I've always been wise. You guys have just finally started to realize it."

He kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, sis."

"I know. I love you, too."

"How's the new deputy working out?"

"He's pretty green, and Booker gets frustrated sometimes. But I think he'll be fine."

"You've been retired for almost two weeks."

"I know. I hate it."

"Well, when you're not running my campaign, you can come work here with me. I seem to be without an assistant."

"It's a temporary situation."

"So fill in temporarily."

"I just might do that."

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