Chapter 17

Sunlight flickered against Lauren's closed eyelids and she could smell fresh-cut grass.

I must have fallen asleep with the window open, she thought sleepily, then frowned. The ship doesn't have a window, it has a viewscreen.

The ship. Krestar. Fliss.

Her eyes flew open as the memories came rushing back, but she wasn't on the ship. She was in a pretty, colorful room, sunlight streaming through the open windows and a flowering vine curling along the sill.

Where am I? Where's my family?

She tried to sit up but her muscles were so weak that she barely had the strength to raise herself up on one elbow. At least they no longer ached so insistently and her head had stopped pounding. She took a deep breath and tried again. This time she managed to use the railing attached to the bed to actually sit up. Wait a minute - a railing? Was this a hospital? The railing around the bed and a small, discreet panel next to the bed were the only signs that it was anything other than a pretty bedroom.

She tried desperately to remember where she was or how she had gotten here. The last thing she remembered was Krestar talking about a hospital. But that had been back on the station, right after Fliss was born. After that there were only vague, fuzzy memories, so fragmented they could have been dreams. Krestar leaning over her, his stern face etched with worry. Endless doses of some blue medicine when all she wanted was to sleep. A cool cloth stroking over her burning skin. And Fliss. She remembered nursing her daughter, those big dark eyes fixed on her face.

Her breasts tingled at the memory and two damp spots suddenly appeared on the bright pink gown she was wearing. If she was still producing milk, she must still be nursing. But where was her daughter? Holding on to the rail, she managed to swing her legs over the side of the bed but even that left her weak and dizzy.

It will pass, she thought grimly, preparing to try and stand…

But then the door flew open and Krestar was there, their daughter cradled securely in his arms. She burst into tears.

"Please don't cry, d'jeri."

He made it across the room in the blink of an eye, lifting her onto his lap as his tail wrapped securely around her and around Fliss. Her sobs only intensified as she leaned against him, once more surrounded by his warm, comforting scent. He tightened his grip, holding her close as he gently stroked her hair. It wasn't until a small mouth started rooting at her breast that she was able to pull herself together enough to stop crying.

"Is it time to feed her?"

"Yes."

He helped her unfasten the top of her gown and the baby latched on to her nipple on the first try. As if she'd been doing it for weeks. More tears threatened.

"How long was I unconscious?"

"Nine days. The nine longest days of my life." When she looked closely, she could see the signs of strain in his face. "We made it here in six, but it has taken another three days for the medicine to start working. I am so sorry I was not here when you woke up. I try to take Fliss out into the fresh air a few times a day. She likes to look at the flowers in the garden."

"Only nine days? She's grown so much already. And I missed it." She sniffed back another sob. "What was wrong with me?"

"You had a bacterial infection. The doctor thinks you picked it up on the Vedeckian ship but childbirth triggered it." He hesitated. "She speculated that it might even be deliberate - a sick mother would put up less of a fight when her child was taken. Left untreated, it might even have effected your memory."

"You mean I wouldn't even remember Fliss?" She shuddered and pulled her daughter closer but Fliss only suckled harder. "is this the place you mentioned? Tre… Trev… something?"

"Trevelor, yes."

"Thank Granthar your doctor was able to diagnose the problem." An odd look flashed across his face. "She is also human."

"Human?"

"Yes, she was also taken by the Vedeckians some years ago."

"Years? How can they have been getting away with it for so long?"

"It is a large universe and the Patrol is severely understaffed."

"It still seems like they should be able to stop them. Have you heard anything about Felicity? You said she might end up here.

"I am afraid not. I have not left the hospital since we arrived, although I did ask the doctor and her mate to spread the word."

"Her mate?"

He hesitated again, then nodded.

"Yes. She is also mated to a Cire."

"I thought you said it was impossible? But if it happened for us, I suppose it's reasonable to believe it could happen for others."

He nodded, but the strain on his face was even more apparent.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly.

"I am frustrated. And angry. All those years I spent trying - and failing - to save our race because we were told that it was the only way. While all the time there were other options."

"You didn't know." She studied his face. He looked betrayed as well as angry. "Do you think your Council knew?"

"I think it is possible. It would not surprise me if they knew and rejected it as an option because they were so determined to try and reproduce our previous way of life, even though it is gone forever."

He still looked bitter but then he shook his head and smiled down at her.

"It matters not. What is important is that we have each other and we have Fliss."

"Yes."

An overwhelming wave of love washed over her as she looked down at their daughter, Krestar's hand curved protectively around her tiny head. If only he'd been there from the beginning…

"The reason the mate bond is so important is because it's the only way your seed becomes fertile, correct?" she asked.

"Yes," he said absently, still focused on their daughter.

"Which means that our family could grow."

He froze, his entire body rigid, but when he looked at her, raw hunger glittered in his eyes.

"You mean you would be willing to have another child? With me?"

"Well, maybe not immediately, but yes. And of course with you - I love you, remember?"

His eyes closed for a second, his lips moving in a silent prayer.

"I had never thought to be so blessed."

"After trying so hard for so long, you deserve everything," she said fiercely, determined to do everything she could to make that happen.

"I already have everything I ever wanted. I love you, Lauren."

"I love you too."

She gently detached Fliss and moved her to her other breast, then bit her lip.

"There is one other thing. If, I mean when we find Felicity, if she wants to return to Earth, I want to go with her. Not to stay," she added quickly when he froze again. "But to accompany her on the trip. It might be the last time I ever see her."

"I understand, but I would choose to accompany you."

"I'd like that. And I'd like you to meet her. I want her to meet her goddaughter as well. I just wish I knew what had happened to her."

"We will keep trying to find out," he promised.

"Thank you."

Fliss was half asleep at her breast so she picked her up and put her over her shoulder, patting her back the way Maraj had taught her. The little onesie her daughter was wearing was pleasantly silky beneath her hand but she didn't remember it from the small selection Maraj had found for them. After Fliss burped she took a closer look.

The outfit was simple enough but it had a pretty detail around the neck and arms and it fit her perfectly.

"Where did this come from?"

"I made it," he said stiffly, the skin across his cheekbones darkening slightly. "On the ship. I had to find something to do when I was not caring for you or for our daughter and she needed more clothes. It appears that the skills I learned as a child still remain."

"They certainly do," she agreed, examining the tiny precise stitches. "Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes. Much more than I expected. It is satisfying to create something."

"I understand. That's why I chose commercial robotics - because there is a physical result at the end of our projects. Was a result," she amended with a sigh. She had enjoyed many aspects of her job.

I wonder how Rob is doing on that project. Would he still be working on it? She'd lost track of the days somewhere along the way, but it must be at least a month since they'd been taken.

If Felicity decided to return, how would she explain her absence? For that matter, how would she explain Lauren's? A number of people had seen them leave together. And who does she have to go back to? John?

Maybe I can persuade her to stay. But where? The Seren wasn't really large enough for another adult. And Fliss would eventually need a bedroom as well. But it was more than just the physical space. Would it be a good environment for a child? Krestar had said Fliss enjoyed looking at the flowers. While she wasn't convinced a two week old baby really cared, an older child would.

"When do you start your next assignment?" she asked carefully.

"I do not. I resigned," he said calmly.

‘What? Why?"

"I joined because I was looking for a job where my actions would actually make a difference. And because I was searching for peace. But now I want to focus on you and Fliss."

"But the ship…"

"Is still ours. I brought it with me when I joined."

"Oh."

Her thoughts must have been visible on her face because he smiled.

"Do not worry, d'jeri. We will create a home together."

She believed him.