Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Kodiak

“ I ’m so fucked,” I mumble as I make my way to her room. The more I’m around her, the deeper her scent envelops me. Hell, we haven’t even kissed yet, and I already have visions of her belly rounded with our cub. “Fuck me.”

It doesn’t enter my mind that there’s no possibility she’ll conceive. My bear knows it. That’s enough for me.

Her room sucks me in even deeper; the layered essences that epitomize her surround me as I quickly grab her pillows and toss them on top of the comforter before I roll it up and sling it over my shoulder. She’ll be comfortable with these when combined with my body heat. That’s the good part about the fact that we’ll have to snuggle and hunker down in her house. I’m like a personal heater, thanks to my shifter genes. Not that much different than Spike. The bad part? Well, from where my bear and I are standing, there’s not really a bad part to any of this.

Me + Callie = Hell yeah.

Unless… what if she’s not attracted to me? I haven’t exactly made the best impression on her. First, I ruined her pretty sweater. Then I ripped her driver’s door off its hinges. Damn. I sorta ate up all her soup, too.

Then we make her like us , my bear says as we return to the living room. She has to think we’re strong and attractive. We protect her. We brought her safely home.

I snort at how easy he’s making it sound. I have two big strikes against me and a questionable third, and now I’m worried I’ll be out of the game before I’ve made my first move.

“What are you doing?” I ask, seeing her moving around the living room.

“Lighting a few more candles,” she replies, her brow raised, likely at my tone. “I also dug out my battery charger pack for our phones. It should be enough as long as you use the same cord as I do. We can at least have working cell phones, right?”

Our mate is smart , my bear says, pride filling his tone. But too neat. We need to mess her up a little bit. Cubs will help with that.

Since I wholly agree with his assessment, I don’t respond. He won’t let the idea of mating and filling her go, so I don’t argue. Instead, while she moves around the room, I take the pillows and set them on the pallet, then cover the whole thing up with the heavy down comforter that was on her bed. “Too bad you don’t have an air mattress,” I state once I’m done.

“I do, but it’s only a twin-size,” she says. “I bought it in case I’d ever want to go camping.”

I decide to tease her a little bit and say, “I can’t see someone as organized as you roughing it like that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Camping can be messy, Callie,” I tease. “Bugs, dirt, weather… all of it is out there. You seem to appreciate cleanliness and organization.”

“I do, but if you knew why, you’d understand,” she quietly replies.

I sense I’ve hurt her feelings, which wasn’t my intent at all, so I move to her side and pull her close, which soothes the ache now residing in my heart. “Then explain it to me,” I say, gently leading her to the pallet. I lower onto it and bring her with me.

Once I have my mate snuggled against me, which has my bear chuffing in ecstasy inside me, she starts talking. “So, you’ve probably guessed I didn’t grow up in Yukon Bluff, right? Well, my origins are awful, Kodiak.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, the sound of the crackling fire nearly drowning her out, but I hear the lingering sadness in her tone. “I never knew my dad and lived with my mom until I was five.”

“What happened then?” I ask, my hand rubbing up and down her arm to calm her.

“She uh… she died of a drug overdose in our apartment. The landlord gained access after no one had seen us for a week.”

A week? Our mate was alone with a dead body for a week? She didn’t eat or drink anything? A low growl rumbles in my chest, and thankfully, she doesn’t ask me about it because it’s taking all my control to keep from shifting and going on a rampage that even Spike wouldn’t be able to quell.

“I went to live with my mom’s aunt, and she was a hoarder,” Callie continues. “Clutter was everywhere, Kodiak, and I didn’t really know any better since my mom was heading in that direction herself. When social services stepped in, I was placed in foster care, and it was there I learned to appreciate that everything had a place.”

“Did you get adopted out?”

She shakes her head, one lone tear streaking down her cheek. “I was too old by then. Most couples want either babies or toddlers, not an eight-year-old little girl who was still traumatized from her living situation.”

I don’t realize I’m grumbling and holding her tighter until she rests her head on my shoulder.

“It’s okay, Kodiak. I’ve built a good life since then.” She pats me and while my bear is ecstatic that she’s touching us, my anger at what she endured as a child won’t let me enjoy the sensation.

It’s not fucking okay. My sweet mate had a life far too traumatic. “I’m sorry all that happened, Sweetheart, but life is messy sometimes.”

“Not if I can help it,” she replies. “Did Spike talk to you or the club yet?”

“About what?”

“I volunteer with Mercy Falls Refuge and am helping gather toys and donations so the children can have a good Christmas. He said he’d have one of you guys play Santa for the kids.”

Yeah, Spike said as much when he told me my mate needed me. I stormed into the clubhouse, ready to throttle him, when I caught Callie’s scent. The reason for her visit has everything to do with kids and Christmas, not Spike. My bear agrees and we decide that maybe we owe Spike an apology when we see him. Maybe. Because he did touch her, and regardless of whether or not it was innocent, we don’t like it one bit.

“Santa, huh? What does that entail?” I ask, pushing thoughts of hurting my president for touching my mate aside.

May as well get all the details so I’m prepared. Out of all of us, I’m the best candidate because of my size, not that I will let anyone else this close to my mate. The fact that I’m not fond of sticky fingers is beside the point. I’ll do it because Callie needs me, but there’s another facet to this. Spike tries to involve the club’s members in as many community activities as he can since this is our town. We feel responsible for keeping it safe and helping it prosper.

If it means keeping my mate happy, I’ll do whatever she wants. Even ho-ho-ho.

And maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll get a kiss under the mistletoe.

Or more, my bear whispers.

Callie

This feels a bit surreal. I’m shocked that I so willingly told Kodiak about my abysmal upbringing. Hell, I’ve only shared the tip of the iceberg since I was also born addicted to crack. It’s a miracle that I didn’t have a host of physical issues, all things considered. I had all the shitty makings of following a dark path, but I made sure once I was out on my own, I’d never live like that again. Oh, the foster homes were nice, of course, but still, there were a lot of kids, so it was often chaotic. I valued what little objects I owned and promised myself that when I had the money, I’d keep a tidy, pretty home I could be proud of. I’ve succeeded, even if it’s only a rental. Someday, I’ll own my own place, but for now, this home works for me. While I’d love to have the whole storybook scenario, with a man who loves and cherishes me, I’m realistic enough to know it might not happen.

I didn’t intend to delve into the darkness of my past, but now that it’s spoken, I feel a little lighter. Like its heaviness doesn’t press down on me as hard and oppressive. Maybe there’s some truth in sharing the darkness with others like a therapist I saw once said. Who knows? I just instinctively trust him, despite our inauspicious meeting.

Kodiak hugs me against his broad, muscular chest. His steady, calm breathing helps to center me. Something is soothing about him. That feeling of safety, warmth, and strength surrounds me as my eyes flutter, and I almost fall asleep. I’ve never felt this way before but am too content to delve into why he seems to be made for me.

“Callie?”

“Mmmm?”

“Look out the window,” he whispers, slightly louder than the crackling of the fire.

“Oh!” I gasp as I turn my head, gazing out at the winter wonderland of white already piling up. There’s a foot of snow outside, and it’s beautiful. The type of snow that packs hard but also swirls over the surface, glistening in the moonlight as the wind carries it over the growing mounds. Soft gusts twirl the flakes as they spin and jump, sparkling like dozens of tiny diamonds.

I love it when the snow gathers like this before anyone has placed a step over it or driven across to dirty its perfection. When it’s pristine and pretty, bright white, and fragile, yet flawless.

“It’s breathtaking,” I observe. “My favorite type of snowfall.”

“Mine too,” he murmurs.

“Thank you,” I say, the warm cocoon of his embrace loosening my lips once again.

“For what?” he asks.

“Listening. I don’t know why I feel as though I can trust you with all my baggage, but I do, Kodiak,” I reply. “There’s more, obviously, but I can’t look at it today.”

“I’ll be here with an ear whenever you’re ready. And if you never are? That’s okay too, Callie,” he says. “Now, we have a warm fire and I for one am feeling drowsy. What say we take a nap?”

“You have the best ideas,” I mumble, already sliding into dreamland, his arms snugly around me to keep me safe and protected.

I nearly miss his reply, wondering if I dream about the kiss to my temple, when he whispers, “Wait until you see the others I have.”