Chapter 14

14

W ould this day from hell never end?

Douglas turned once more on the lumpy, scratchy pile they’d called a mattress and repositioned his head on his arm. The day had started out on the wrong foot and he’d never regained his balance. His first mistake was in thinking that with his background and training he would fit in comfortably while he was here. That mind-set had sabotaged him every step of the way.

His introduction to the laird and lady went smoothly enough until Moira offered her opinion that he’d be there only for a short time. His experience, other than finally meeting Caitlin in the flesh, had not been a particularly good one up to that point. So naturally he was overjoyed to hear that he wouldn’t be stuck here. Who wouldn’t be?

The look on Caitlin’s face would stay in his memory forever. For just a moment he could see her soul and he glimpsed despair, anger, and longing, and he sensed such a feeling of loss that he wanted to take back his words. And, stay....

Then, when he sat next to her in her parents’ chamber, he fought the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss that mouth that enchanted him so much. If he were leaving soon, it wouldn’t be fair to take advantage of her in that way, in spite of the anticipation that the dreams had created in him. And, it appeared, in her as well.

The morning with Moira had also been a rude awakening, and a powerful blow to his ego. He watched in amazement as the uneducated healer ran circles around his abilities to diagnose and treat her people. Countless times he reached for a nonexistent blood pressure cuff or stethoscope or the pulse oximeter or even for some of the apps on his smartphone. And he lost count of the times he wanted to ask the attending nurse about vital signs or symptoms or blood counts.

Instead, Moira touched and prodded and questioned. She felt and listened and smelled to gain her information. He didn’t know much about the herbs she used, but her explanations of what needed to be done for each person made a lot of sense to him. Her understanding of infection and fever and bodily functions amazed him. Oh, she called them by different terms, but she knew how to help a patient return to health.

And she said that Caitlin was both more knowledgeable about healing and about the herbal medicines that they used. Not a word was said about her supposed ability to heal with her touch. His skeptical side was glad not to have to argue about that.

Douglas turned again on the thin narrow pallet he called his own and tucked the length of plaid around him. The barracks room he shared with twenty other men was cold and damp. It didn’t seem to bother any of the others—the chamber resonated with snores of different paces, volumes and tone levels. The others were quite content in their places of rest.

Just when it seemed that his ego would end the day as the only part of him bruised, Robert had asked him to meet Brodie on the field. His skills with the staff and sword were well-known in the MacKendimen clan—he’d won every contest and challenge he’d faced once he’d beaten his father. Alex had held the tide of champion at the clan’s festivals until ten years before when Douglas had wrested that honor from him.

All of that meant less than nothing when he was face-to-face, toe-to-toe with the red-haired warrior who intended to beat him into the ground. He didn’t know how he held his ground for as long as he had, especially with the sword. And afterwards, he heard from some of the men that he’d far outlasted Brodie’s previous challenger, and so he felt some measure of pride in his abilities .

That pride was wiped away in facing Caitlin again. It was obvious to him that she was experiencing post-traumatic shock syndrome. When he’d reached her next to the practice yard, she’d been hyperventilating and losing control. Her eyes moved wildly, watching a scene that no one else could see. She clawed at her neck, pulling at her blouse in sheer panic and terror. The cuts from the attack were not quite healed and he grabbed her by the wrists to stop her before she could injure herself.

He called to her and after a few tense moments, she recovered. Douglas offered to walk her home. He sensed that more had happened to her in the woods that night than she had revealed to anyone. Yet when he had tried to talk to her, she’d shut him out. He tried to recall his words, the ones he’d said just before she’d taken off in anger.

He’d been telling her that he was escorting her home because it was something he should do, as a physician and healer. He’d done it on purpose. She couldn’t know how much she affected him. If he were to leave, he would not trifle with her feelings. It was best to keep himself a bit apart. In his mind he knew this was the best course. But his heart whispered something else.

And now his back and arms and legs were giving another message. Every muscle ached from head to toe. He’d put on a good show but he needed to sleep. Douglas barely made it through dinner and to dark before he fell onto this heap of grass in a sack. His overwhelming exhaustion was not enough to rid his mind of thoughts of her. He felt himself slipping away and she was the last thing on his mind. How could he ever go back to his own time after meeting her?

The sun rose at an ungodly hour here, he was sure of it. And he was just as sure that his eyes had never closed during the night. Except... Douglas did remember waking up and feeling very warm. Caitlin had come to him in the cave dream again and he woke from it hot and hard. It added to his level of discomfort and kept him tossing and turning even more than before.

Douglas rose from his bed, shook out the plaid he’d laid in all night and wrapped it around his body. He’d left the big shirt on overnight as some protection from the cold. After his boots were in place, he followed the other men outside to the place where they relieved themselves. A nearby well provided buckets of very cold water to wash, although he was the only one to do so.

He really needed a shower—a shower in water so hot that his skin would redden from the heat. And a good deodorant soap to use in it. And, his electric shaver. And, his water bed heated to just the right temperature and adjusted to just the right amount of support. And clean sheets, and...

The men were on the move again, this time toward the castle’s great hall through a side entrance near the barracks. He followed along, exchanging brief comments with some of the men he’d worked with yesterday. On entering the large room, the smell of bread greeted him. His stomach rumbled in anticipation and he remembered being so tired the night before that he’d not eaten more than a few chunks of bread and cheese.

They lined up before one of the hearths in the room and were handed a stale piece of bread scooped out in the shape of a bowl. As they passed by the huge cauldron hanging in the hearth, one of the kitchen maids ladled steaming porridge into the bowl he carried. Sitting down with Aindreas’ men, he found carved wooden spoons, wheels of some dark yellow cheese and loaves of bread on his table. After pouring water into a metal cup, he focused on replenishing his body’s fuel. He knew he would need the fortification to spend the morning with Caitlin.

Douglas couldn’t tell if she knew he was there. Caitlin stood in the center of the cottage, talking to herself. He heard names and then what sounded like the names of old herbs. She gathered each named item together in the center of the large table. Some were in jars or small clay pots, some in leather flasks and some hung in bunches over her head from the large drying rack above the table.

“Do you always talk to yourself?”

She whirled around at his words, startled out of her concentration. A look of confusion was replaced by one of recognition. “Oh, Douglas, ’tis ye.” He nodded a greeting to her from his place by the door.

“Your mother said I should join you this morning. She said you could teach me more about the herbs you use than she can.” He walked into the room and approached her by the table.

“Did ye believe her?” Caitlin’s eyes sparkled this morning and he drank in the sight of them. And of her. Morning absolutely suited her. She looked alive and full of energy. Her hair was still free and hung down her back, moving in waves with every step or turn she took.

“Of course I did. She wouldn’t lie to me, would she?”

“Mayhap it was her way of getting free of ye today?” She laughed and turned back to the table, gathering some small bowls close to her. “’Tis sorry I am for saying that, Douglas. Mam had to visit some of the elder women of the village who wouldna take kindly to a stranger or a man tending to them. So, she left ye wi’ me for this morning.”

Her good mood was catchy and he sensed that she was teasing him in part, too. “So, in other words, your mother was so appalled by my lack of skill yesterday that she went on her own today?” He raised his eyebrows at her, daring her to lie about it.

“I think ye ken the way of it, Douglas. Mam said she’d never seen a man so helpless before. She said that my da has spoiled her all these years.” She brushed some loose hair over her shoulders and laughed in his face. He knew he was frowning. He didn’t think he’d been that bad.

“That bad?” he mumbled, now truly insulted. Well, today was another day and he had a chance now to work with Caitlin. Maybe he could work better with her than with her mother .

“Come and tend me as I prepare the things I need for this morn. I’ll show ye how I work, and ’tis different than Mam’s way.” She gestured him closer and he then noticed the pieces of parchment on the table near her collection of ingredients.

“What are those?” he asked, pointing to the pile of papers.

“I write down my recipes so I can change them as need be. My mam is much better at remembering wi’out help but I canna keep in my mind the adjustments I make for each person as one of my brews works or doesna. So”— she lifted a piece toward him—”I mark all the ingredients and how much I use and if it helps.”

He looked at her through new eyes now. She was a scientist but didn’t know it. It was remarkable that a peasant girl in this time would have been taught to write at all and here she was keeping lists of her concoctions by ingredients and strength. A medieval pharmacist hidden away here in the little village of Dunnedin.

“Is something the matter? Ye are looking at me strangely.”

“This is incredible, Caitlin. When your mother told me you knew your letters and numbers, I had no idea that you used that knowledge for something like this.” He smiled at her, so very impressed by her accomplishment. “Now, can you tell me about the herbs you’ll use today?”

The next hour passed quickly as she described to him each of the mixtures she’d use and their actions when administered. He was appalled by his lack of knowledge about medicinal uses for herbs. And, in concentrating so much on what she knew, he forgot his resolve not to get involved with her.