Chapter 14

The morning sky showed an uncertain blue between the clouds where Bernadette stared up at the window. She looked down at her hands, resting on the keys.

Peace. Finally, peace and quiet, she thought contentedly. A morning's rest...how restorative.

She grinned and shifted to a comfortable position on the padded piano stool.

The clock had just struck nine and Mama had gone out just five minutes earlier to join a friend on a morning outing in Bond Street. Papa was out as well, calling on his solicitor to discuss the yearly accounts. The house was entirely empty, except for the staff, and she felt able to enjoy herself and think her own uninterrupted thoughts.

As she gazed up at the sheets of music, she found herself lost in thoughts of Lord Blackburne once again. She felt a small smile tug the corner of her mouth and she grinned to herself. He'd been a real pleasure to talk to. They had conversed in ways they never had before, and she'd found herself truly feeling drawn to him.

She recalled him staring into her eyes and her throat tightened, her blush burning her cheeks and flooding deliciously through her body.

But he can't really feel that way. He can't have meant it like...like that. She felt a frown crease her brow. Those stares, those soft words...they could not really mean he was interested in her. She was plain—she knew that and almost accepted it. She was uninteresting. Nobody would look at her like she was interesting and beautiful. Mama had said that so many times. She reached for her music, blinking savagely to try and stop her tears.

"Stop it," she told herself harshly. "You're just being foolish."

It shouldn't matter what Lord Blackburne thought of her. He and she had, neither of them, chosen this. What either of them felt was entirely irrelevant.

"My lady?" The voice of the butler interrupted her thoughts, making her whip round swiftly.

"Yes, Mr. Hadley?" she asked hurriedly. "What is it?" She drew a breath, trying to calm herself.

"Sorry that I startled you." Mr. Hadley smiled gently. "But there is a coach outside. A gentleman is here to see you. He left his card." He handed it to her.

"To see me ?" Bernadette frowned. "But...but he can't, Mr. Hadley." She felt her frown deepen. As a butler he understood that no gentleman could visit her at home, not with Mama and Papa both in town. The only person who might be admitted under those circumstances was Lord Blackburne—were she to be suitably chaperoned—but they had not arranged to see one another. "Mr. Hadley, I can't..." She paused.

She read the card. Nicholas Albert Cranmer Lovell, Viscount Blackburne .

Her heart stopped. She looked at Mr. Hadley. "Show him upstairs, please. And fetch my chaperone?" Her breath was swifter, heart thudding hastily.

"Of course, Miss Rowland." He bowed, smiling, and hurried downstairs.

Bernadette took a deep breath, hands perspiring. It was one thing to see him in the park, or on some or other arranged outing. It was another thing entirely for him to arrive spontaneously at her home, and when her parents were not there to chaperone her. She waited while Mr. Hadley went to fetch Judy, breathing deeply and trying to calm herself.

Judy rushed in seconds later, a frown creasing her brow.

"Who might it be, Miss?" Judy asked, breathless with evident excitement. "Surely, nobody should call when your Mama and Papa are not here...?"

"It's Viscount Blackburne," she said softly.

"Oh. Oh! That's different, then," Judy said swiftly, expression shifting from puzzlement to surprise and then an attempt at composure as the footsteps drew closer.

Someone was in the hallway. She turned to Judy, about to ask her if her hairstyle needed fixing, but before she could get the words out, Mr. Hadley reappeared in the doorway, Lord Blackburne with him. His blue eyes were bright with warmth and an inquiring look, and she dropped a low curtsey, heart thudding.

"My lord," Bernadette stammered, but he held out a bouquet to her.

"These are some yellow ones."

"My lord!" Bernadette exclaimed, astonished, as she stared in disbelief. "Is it for me?"

In his hand was a bunch of roses, a mix of yellow and white blossoms. She breathed in the scent of roses; heady in the cool morning air. She gazed up at him, heart melting with surprised delight. "They're beautiful."

He grinned. She had ceased noticing the scar, and when he grinned it was entirely irrelevant. His eyes glowed a soft, pale blue, creased at the corners with a lopsided smile that made her heart quicken.

"I'm pleased you think so."

"They truly are," she murmured, looking away shyly. She turned to Judy. "Please could you put them in a vase for me?" There was already a vase on the table, the blooms in it starting to wither at the edges.

Judy grinned and nodded. "Of course, milady."

Her eyes sparkled brightly as she held Bernadette's gaze. Bernadette wanted to grin back but tried to control the urge. Excitement and joy bubbled inside her. She looked up at Lord Blackburne, overcome with warmth and shyness.

He looked down for a moment, as if he felt as awkward as she did. Then he looked up at her, his blue gaze holding hers.

"I'm pleased you like them," he murmured.

"I do. Very much."

They smiled at each other, and her heart pounded. His gaze was warm and sparkly and inviting and somewhere within her rose a sudden longing, a wish that he would bend down and press those thin, expressive lips to her own. She felt her cheeks redden at the thought.

"I had thought to ask you on a walk," he said, coughing a little as if his throat was tight, like her own. "But I understand that Lord and Lady Rothendale are away on business?"

"Yes, they are," Bernadette agreed. She looked around. "Would you like to stay for tea?" She cleared her throat and felt heat flood through her, burning her cheeks. It was bold and daring and yet it also felt absolutely right to invite him. She glanced sideways at Judy, but she was arranging the roses in the vase, her back turned to them as if she wished to give them time without observation.

"Yes. I would like to," he replied.

Bernadette felt how her heart pattered. She went to the bell-rope, trying to walk normally, to pretend that she wasn't filled with a flooding mix of shyness, joy and delight. She felt as though his gaze was burning her back as she walked to the corner and pulled the rope.

"Would you care to sit down?" She coughed. Her voice sounded strange—too high and a little tight. She glanced at Judy, but her maid was ignoring her, fussing the lace curtains as if she wanted to let in more sunshine.

"Yes. Thank you." He went over to the tea-table and settled himself in a chair. Bernadette went to join him, then stopped. Where should she sit? Opposite him, or beside him?

She was saved from an immediate response by Mr. Hadley arriving in the hallway.

"Please bring tea for us," Bernadette instructed, amazed by her boldness. Mr. Hadley bowed.

"At once, Miss Rowland."

Bernadette turned to Lord Blackburne, who was watching her, his eyes sparkling. She looked at her toes for a second, terribly shy. The way his gaze lingered on her made her feel self-conscious, but in a delicious sort of way.

"I trust you had a pleasant morning?" Lord Blackburne asked. Bernadette nodded.

"Yes. Very pleasant. I spent most of it playing the pianoforte. Mama and Papa are out," she added, then remembered he already knew and fell into embarrassed quiet.

"Do you prefer to play without an audience?" he asked. He was grinning, as if that fact amused him.

"I do," she answered, nodding swiftly. "Sometimes one's music is not for other's consumption, but for oneself alone."

"I understand," Lord Blackburne said slowly. "My sister Marcia would like that. She plays the pianoforte too."

"She does?" Bernadette blinked in surprise. It had not occurred to her to ask if he had siblings. She'd assumed he had none, like herself. He nodded.

"Yes. Marcia is very fond of music. Clarissa prefers painting. They both adore horses." He chuckled. His eyes softened when he spoke of his sisters.

"How old are they?" she asked at once, fascinated.

"Twelve."

"Twelve and...?" Bernadette asked. He'd said he had two sisters, after all. He grinned.

"Twelve. They are twins." His eyes sparkled with amusement and Bernadette gasped in delight.

"No! Twins! How delightful! Do they look like you?" she asked with interest. He chuckled warmly.

"No, not really. They have my colouring—we all inherited my mother's blonde hair and blue eyes. But they're much more beautiful than I am." He said it with a grin but the look in his eyes was sad.

"I don't believe they can be more beautiful." she blurted. Then she stopped. She'd never admitted before that she thought he was beautiful—not even to herself.

His eyes widened in a shocked expression. She looked hastily away. He'd come to the house when her parents were away, and that was the time she chose to take liberties. He was almost certainly shocked. She swallowed hard; her stomach queasy with embarrassment.

"Thank you," he breathed after a moment. He still looked stunned, as if he'd been winded by an unexpected punch to the stomach. But he didn't seem to think she'd been improper or indecent.

She was amazed at the tenderness in his expression as he gazed into her eyes. He had often looked at her with a sort of intensity that she didn't understand. She'd never seen him look so gentle before, and it tugged at her heart. She forgot about everything around her—she could have been anywhere, doing anything. The only thing she was aware of was the blue gaze across the table that drew her in like a lake she longed to dive into.

He coughed. She turned around, seeing his gaze move to the door. Mr. Hadley was there with the tea and Bernadette turned her glowing smile on him.

"Thank you, Mr. Hadley."

The butler blushed and fussed with the tea-things, then withdrew, the room silent in his absence. Bernadette stared at Lord Blackburne, who smiled a little shyly.

"You know, it's probably just as well I mentioned my sisters." He reached for his teacup and added milk and sugar a little absently. Bernadette reached for the teapot to pour for him—as the hostess, it was her job. "Because Mama asked me to invite you to dinner with my family tomorrow."

"Oh?" Bernadette felt her heart thud. She focused on pouring tea, her heart racing with delight. This was much nicer than the usual formal, public appearances they made. "That sounds pleasant."

"Yes. She longs to meet you. She is Lady Aldford now. She remarried the Earl of Aldford a few years following my father's passing."

"Oh." Bernadette smiled at him. "I look forward to meeting your family." She meant it. She could not imagine anything nicer than meeting people related to Lord Blackburne. His grandparents, who she knew already, didn't give the impression that his family comprised the most pleasant people. But oddly, she couldn't imagine his mother was like them.

"I am glad to hear it." He sounded a little shy, his gaze hesitant. She beamed.

"Of course, I am pleased to meet them," she said gently. "After all, you've met mine."

He chuckled. "You're right...I have."

They sat and talked for a little while longer, mostly of the theater and music and topics they had already discussed before.

"Of course, I already know your opinion on most of Hamlet ," he said with a teasing grin.

Bernadette nodded, amazed by how often she agreed with him on a subject. He was an interesting person to talk to and she wished he could stay for hours, but at the same time, she wasn't entirely sorry when he pushed back his chair. Her mother would be returning at any moment, and she would rather not have anyone else watch them disapprovingly and disrupt their lovely conversation.

"I regret that I must return to my home." Lord Blackburne smiled that lopsided grin that made her heart race. "I promised my grandfather I would look over the accounts with him. I'd much rather stay." He raised a brow.

"Glad to hear it," Bernadette answered teasingly, amazed at her own boldness. He laughed.

"Well, then," he said, bowing low. "I regret to have to excuse myself. I will see you soon. I will come with the coach to fetch you tomorrow at six of the clock?" he offered.

"Please do," Bernadette agreed, heart thumping.

"Well, until tomorrow." He bowed and Bernadette curtseyed, and she stood in the doorway, uncertainly, as he walked down the steps to the front door. Her head was full of a hundred things at once, heart racing in her chest. She stood there unmoving until she heard Judy move a teacup and then she turned around.

"Whew," she murmured. Judy giggled.

"He's not ugly, eh, milady?" Judy asked. She was also giggling, her dark eyes bright, her cheeks flushed as if she was also too shy to say it.

Bernadette swallowed hard. "He's very handsome," she said firmly, meaning it absolutely. The scar was nothing. If anything, she liked it. It added to the mystery of his face, somehow emphasizing those sparkling blue eyes and fine bone structure. It felt good to admit that she found him handsome. It felt as good as it had to admit it to herself.

"Well, I'd best ring Mr. Hadley to tidy these things away," Judy said, turning away and letting Bernadette lose herself in her own private musings. She stood where she was, staring out of the window, the conversation playing through her head. Her heart thudded whenever she thought of that warm, blue-eyed gaze, so full of tenderness.

She couldn't wait for the dinner at his mother's London home the following day.