Chapter 3

Chapter Three

B eth ran the silver handled brush through her hair, quietly counting to herself. Mama had always said that in order for one to have beautiful hair one must brush it one hundred times in the morning and one hundred times at night, which would have been easy if her hair did not fall all the way to her waist. The things one must do for beauty. She sighed.

“I know where your thoughts are tonight,” Julianna said, flopping onto her belly on their shared bed. Thankfully Mrs. Barker had her own room so they could speak freely without her disapproving eye. If she had been in the room, she certainly would have scolded Julianna for her unladylike behavior.

“And where is that?”

“With a handsome lord.”

Beth furrowed her eyebrows. “What? Why ever would you think that?”

“I saw the way you looked at him.”

“You mean with gratitude. Jule, just because a man is kind to us is no reason to fall top over end for him.”

Julianna pushed up on her hands and knees. “But I saw your neck blush. You never get blotchy unless you like someone.”

“Or I am embarrassed.”

“Posh. You rarely exhibit embarrassment at anything.”

“Just because I rarely exhibit it does not mean I do not feel it.”

“I think you are dodging. There have been plenty of times you could have been embarrassed that were far worse than what happened downstairs and yet not once did I see your skin blotch with red. Now when you were in love with Edward, you?—”

Pain shot through Beth.

“Jule, stop.” Beth set down the brush and spun in her seat. Julianna had covered her mouth, her eyes wide with regret.

“I am so sorry, Bethie. It simply slipped out.”

Beth exhaled and dropped her gaze to the floor. Julianna could not help it; she was passionate and impetuous, two things Beth sometimes wished she could be. What would it be like to have such a zest for life?

And yet it often got her younger sister into scrapes, many of which Beth had to rescue her from. Julianna could be the most thoughtful person and in the next moment say the most hurtful things, like mentioning the name of the man Beth would rather forget.

“I forgive you,” she finally said. “But please be more careful with your words, Jule. Remember that words are like fire, they can warm a room but they can also burn one’s house down.”

Julianna lowered her hands and hung her head. “I know. I simply wanted to point out when I had last seen you blush so deeply. It was thoughtless of me.”

Beth rose and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Do not be too hard upon yourself. As for my blush, I was simply embarrassed at Mrs. Barker simpering in an obvious attempt to gain Lord Bingham’s attention. Not that I can blame her. He is a nice-looking man, and one cannot help but be impressed by his character, but it was so out of her character to behave so undignified.”

“I do not believe it is out of her character. You know how much precedent she puts on titles and connections. She is full sick of being a companion to us, and I have no doubt if a rich lord showed interest in her, whether young or old, she’d throw herself at the man.”

“That is ungenerous, Julianna.”

“But true.”

Beth’s traitorous lips pulled up. It really was an accurate summation of Mrs. Barker. Her complaints had been ample enough over the last few years. If her husband had not left her in such dire straits at his death, she never would have taken the position as their companion. She would have much preferred an advantageous marriage.

“I see you agree.” Julianna pulled back the bed covers and snuggled under them. “Now come lay down. It’s late and we have an early morning.”

“What you are really saying is the bed is cold and it will be warmer with two of us.”

“Well, it is drafty in here.”

Beth shook her head. “No, you are simply always cold, but it is late.”

She slipped under the covers and Julianna turned to look at her. “He really is quite handsome, you know. I am glad you can see it too.”

A sputtering laugh escaped. “You are not going to let this go, are you?”

“What?” Julianna’s wide innocent eyes were too contrived. “I was only pointing out what you already stated.”

“And making certain my mind did not wander far from the gentleman.” Beth turned on her side to face her sister. “Jule, I am not blind. I saw your matchmaking face at dinner and you are not being subtle in the least.”

Julianna sighed. “I just want you to be happy again. You know this is possibly the only time Father will let us out of his sight in a long time; we need to take this opportunity for what it is.”

“And what is that?”

“A chance to secure husbands.”

“We do not need husbands, Julianna. Father has set aside plenty for our keeping if he should pass. There is no need to throw ourselves at the first handsome man who comes our way. Then we would be as untenable as Mrs. Barker.”

Julianna grinned. “I knew you agreed with me about the old dragon.”

“She is not that old,” Beth said.

“Always looking for the kind thing to say, but I see you did not deny her being a dragon.”

“She can be a bit rough and scaly, I suppose.” A smile slipped past her defenses.

Julianna giggled. “And she breathes fire anytime she is grumpy.”

“And she smells like garlic and old turnips.” Beth felt a bit guilty for speaking unkindly of their companion.

“That’s a good girl, I knew you had it in you.”

“To be mean spirited?”

“No, to tell the truth. You do not have to see the good side in everything.”

“Yes, but some truths need not be spoken, especially if it will hurt a person without providing any improvement. What good would it do to talk about how Mrs. Barker smells when you and I know she cannot help it?”

Julianna’s smile fell. They both knew the smell came from the liniment for Mrs. Barker’s bad knees.

“I suppose that is true. Even so, it is better to see what is before you and not try to excuse it away. Like the providence of having two handsome gentlemen stop at the same inn where we happened to be, and going to the same house party. Can you not see how this might be written in our stars?”

“Two?” Beth scooted closer. Julianna glanced at her, her cheeks growing pink in the dim light from the fire. “Me thinks the lady is harboring her own tendre.”

Julianna giggled. “Perhaps a little.”

“A little?”

“Is Mr. Kaye not the handsomest gentleman you have ever laid eyes on?”

“How can he be when you have already matched me with Lord Bingham?”

More giggling ensued and Julianna proceeded to talk until Beth could not hold her eyes open one moment longer. It was nice hearing her sister’s excitement over the prospect of the coming weeks, but Beth found herself more inclined to believe this party would be as unremarkable as any other. They would enjoy themselves, but she had little hope they would walk away with anything more than a handful of good memories.

At least she hoped they would be good. The last thing she wanted for Julianna was to have a negative experience that mirrored her own. No one needed memories that painful.

Morning came far too quickly, yet when Beth rose, Julianna was already in the process of dressing.

“Be a dear, Bethie, and tighten my laces, please.”

“You are up early.” Beth lifted the blanket and cold air rushed in. She dropped the blanket back down. “How are you up, and in your shift no less?”

“Now who is complaining of cold?” Julianna smirked, then picked up the fire poker and stirred the smoldering coals. “I wonder why no one has come to start the fire this morning or at least bring us more coal?”

“The inn is quite full.”

Julianna crossed and sat on Beth’s side of the bed. “That is true.”

Beth reached out of the covers and deftly pulled at the laces on her sister’s short stays until they were snug. “There. Now would you mind explaining to me why my perpetually cold sister is up and nearly dressed already?”

“No reason.”

The blush on Julianna’s cheeks said otherwise. Beth tsked. “You know you are a lousy liar, Jule; you might as well admit it is because of this infatuation you have with marrying us both off.”

“It is not an infatuation. It is a worthy goal. Do you want to live under Father’s rule forever? And what of his pursuit of the Widow Westwood? You?—”

“The Widow Westwood? You cannot be serious. Father would never pursue someone half his age, and I highly doubt she would accept him.”

Julianna stood. “You cannot be that blind, Bethie. What other reason could he have for visiting Westwood House so often? Have you not seen the way he looks at her? All the times she has dropped by to have tea with us? With all the pointed attention in both directions it is only a matter of time.”

Beth pulled the covers up to her chin, using them as a shield against Julianna’s words, but the blankets could not keep out the truth. Pieces of past conversations floated about in her head. Father wishing Mother had given him a son. Mrs. Barker pointing out the Widow Westwood’s youth and gentility. Even the widow herself asking more questions than usual about their home and property. It all made sense now… and it hurt.

Father had promised Beth a home after the scandal with Edward. Perhaps scandal was doing it a bit brown since only their two families knew the depth of their attachment, but there had been a certain amount of expectation. His desertion of her had left its mark both publicly and privately. She never wanted to give her heart away for anyone else to damage. Hayworth Hall would have to be her home forever.

But if Father married the widow, she would be displaced. She’d been in charge of running Hayworth Hall for as long as she could remember, and now she would be demoted to that of a stepdaughter, basically a visitor in her own home. Certainly Widow Westwood would want her and Julianna out as soon as possible to make way for her own three children and any others that might come.

“It is not so bad,” Julianna said with compassion in her voice.

Beth focused on her, noting the same pitying expression her sister had worn when Edward had first told her he had married someone else. She hated pity.

Sitting up, she threw off the covers. “What is not so bad? The cold? It is quite chilly.” She grabbed her stays, pulled them on, and gave the laces a good yank.

“Here, let me help.” Julianna reached out, but Beth stepped away.

“My laces are long enough for me to place them quite easily myself, thank you.” Tying them off, she grabbed her wool petticoats and began layering, hoping the abundance of them would ward off the chill. Unfortunately, she needed Julianna’s assistance when it came to her traveling attire; the buttons were placed in such a way on the back that she could not reach them all. When the dark blue dress was in place she turned to help her sister button her lighter brown one.

The dresses were cut almost identical with long sleeves that puffed a bit at the shoulders and high collars meant to ward off the cold. Perhaps they were not the most fashionable of dresses, but they served their purpose.

“You cannot run from the truth forever, Bethie.” Julianna slipped into her thick wool spencer. “Father will marry. Most likely before the season even begins. Do you really want to take orders from a stepmother who is young enough to be your sister?”

“Stop, Julianna.”

“I am only speaking the truth.”

Beth picked up her fur-lined muff, pushing away thoughts of being reduced to a governess for younger siblings who did not even exist. It was a ridiculous idea. Her father would never force her into servitude. But what would she do for the rest of her life?

Instinctively Beth’s hand came up to rub the silver heart-shaped locket her mother had given her before she died. The action brought calm when life became too overwhelming.

“It may be,” she said slowly. “But that does not denote a change in position for us, nor does it mean we should run heedlessly into the arms of men we do not know. I, for one, am happy with my state in life.” Beth bit her lip at the lie. When was the last time she’d been truly happy?

In her mind Edward’s hazel brown eyes peered down at her. She’d been sure he would declare himself. How she’d soared in that moment, only to fall to earth the next. A cold, calloused earth with little hope and no joy left for her. She’d loved Edward since she’d been old enough to put up her hair, and he’d declared he returned her affection—until the day that he did not.

Julianna’s gloved hand slipped into hers. “You are a terrible liar, you know.”

A small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. “That would make two of us.”

They both laughed and Julianna pulled her in for a hug.

Stepping back, Beth said, “Shall we just enjoy our holiday? No schemes or impending engagements attached.”

Julianna compressed her soft pink lips as she studied her. Beth held her breath, hoping her sister would simply drop the subject so they might enjoy one last Christmastide before their lives changed forever.

“All right, Bethie. No more talk of Father and Widow Westwood.”

“And—”

A firm knock sounded on the door and someone jiggled the handle.

“Who is it?” Beth called.

Mrs. Barker’s exasperated voice answered. “It is I. Now let me in before I catch my death in this drafty hall.”

Both girls made eye contact. Julianna rolled hers and Beth let out a long slow breath, praying for the patience she would need to withstand Mrs. Barker’s irritating company for one more day of travel.

Crossing to the door, she used the key to unlock it.

“What kind of establishment is this?” Mrs. Barker complained as she entered. “No breakfast trays and only a pittance of a fire.” She spun toward Beth and Julianna’s smoking hearth. “What is this? Why do you have no fire?”

“The maid has not come to light it and we are out of coal.”

“Unacceptable. Your father will have my head if either of you come down with a chill because of this inn’s despicable service.”

“It is no matter,” Julianna said. “We are ready to leave. Let us go in search of some breakfast in the common room and then we can be on our way.”

Mrs. Barker grumbled as she turned toward the open door, and Julianna cast Beth a conspiratorial smile.

“Perhaps,” she whispered, “the men will not have eaten either and we will be able to dine together again.”

“Jule, I said no matchmaking.”

Her sister grinned. “No, you said no speaking of Father’s match.”

Then before she could object, Julianna bounced out of the room, leaving Beth with a begrudging smile. Julianna was nothing if not optimistic.