Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

B eth fingered the keys of the piano, trying to summon the will to play. Her heart was in such turmoil. How could Julianna have rushed into an engagement after she’d cautioned her so many times to take things slow?

Not that she disliked Mr. Kaye. On the contrary, he was a fine gentleman. But if Julianna married, things would change, life would change. Beth hung her head, letting her hands fall on the keys. Discordant notes echoed through the room.

“Not my style of music, but to each their own.”

Her head shot up. Carswell peered at her from the open double doors, his left hand clutching his lapel. The dark dinner jacket he wore hugged his frame nicely and was accented with a fine grey waistcoat and a snowy white cravat. A ruby stickpin glittered in the candlelight.

He made his way to the piano. “I wondered where you’d gone off to after everyone gathered for hot cockles.”

“I am not fond of the games where one must submit to being hit or kicked.”

He smiled. “We are of one accord then.”

Beth tried to smile, but it was weak at best.

“May I?” Carswell asked as he sat beside her.

She scooted over, allowing him half the bench. He removed his white gloves and then with practiced fingers, began playing a soft soothing melody. Her gaze locked on his fingers as they glided on the white and black keys. His left hand did the majority of the work, but he was able to employ his right thumb and index finger for several notes. It was fascinating.

He had talent, and she wondered briefly how accomplished he had been before he lost control over his other fingers.

“Care to tell me what has you so melancholy?” he asked as he continued to play quietly.

Her gaze slowly rose from his fingers, trailing up his arm to his angular face. A slight shadow darkened his jaw where a day's worth of hair had grown. She itched to run a hand along it if only to see whether the stubble was sharp or soft.

When he reached the last note in the concerto he turned to her, waiting patiently.

Beth hung her head. “I suppose I am selfish for wishing that things would never change.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Simply that I am happy for Julianna and sad for myself. On the journey to Haverton, she opened my eyes to the understanding developing between my father and the Widow Westwood. It has taken some time, but I had almost resigned myself to the change in our home life when Julianna and Mr. Kaye announced their intention to marry. I cannot help but feel that my life is being torn apart and every happiness I once knew will soon be but a distant memory.”

The admission left Beth aching for times gone by when things had been easier. Back when her mother had soothed her aching heart, and her days had been filled with the joys and wonder of girlhood. Her fingers instinctively rose to her throat only to remember her locket was still missing.

A warm finger slipped under her chin and tipped her head up. Carswell’s grey eyes were intense as he stared into hers.

“You are not selfish. Nothing about what you have shared is unnatural. Change is difficult, especially when it happens all at once.”

She tried to duck her head but he held her chin firm.

“Please believe me, Beth. It is perfectly normal to feel at odds with the situation. I, myself, am a bit flabbergasted.” He shook his head. “How my flibbertigibbet of a friend convinced your sister to marry him is beyond me.”

Beth smiled at his comically aghast face. “Probably because they are two of a kind.”

He dropped his hand and nodded. “Now that makes more sense.”

They both laughed lightly and a soothing silence settled between them. Then Beth let out a snicker.

“What is so comical?”

“I was remembering Mrs. Barker’s red face and incoherent words this morning when I told her Jule had gotten herself engaged. I thought she would die of apoplexy right there in the carriage, especially after we came upon Julianna and Mr. Kaye alone on the road. But when we arrived at the church, Mr. Baitman met Mrs. Barker at the door and suddenly she was all smiles as if Julianna had been completely forgotten.”

Carswell chuckled. “Yes, well Mr. Baitman has been quite useful. He saved my life twice, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yes, once in France after I was injured in the war against Bonaparte.”

“And the other?”

“At dinner tonight, for he is still entertaining Mrs. Barker and keeping her entirely unaware of our current tête-à-tête. I would be fileted for sure if she caught us thus.”

Beth grinned, but the intent way Carswell stared back made her inexplicably nervous. Without thought she turned to the keys and began to play a piece by Handel from memory. She was halfway through when she realized she’d begun to sing.

She’d always assumed when she sang again it would hurt, that it would remind her of all the times she’d sung for Edward, but it did not. It actually relieved the tension that had held her captive all evening. So she let her voice grow wings as it swelled with the music. Even more shocking was the beautiful deep bass voice that joined hers.

Carswell’s voice tripped over her skin, raising gooseflesh with its delightfully low tones. It reverberated down to her very bones. When the song ended, she knew she needed to hear more from him.

“Your voice,” he said softly. “It is incredible.”

“As is yours. If I am brave enough to sing for my aunt’s musicale, might you sing with me?”

“Me?” He was shaking his head before he’d even finished the word.

“Why not? It was you after all who encouraged me to use my voice again.”

He glanced down at his lap. “I know, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“I hate performing in front of strangers.”

“As do I. Might we comfort each other in our mutual discomfort?”

He smiled. “I suppose when you put it that way, we should both refrain.”

She turned and grasped both his hands as he tried to rise. “Oh, no you don’t. After you encouraged me to sing, I accepted my aunt’s invitation. She will not let me off now, so if I am to be made to suffer, then you shall have to suffer with me.”

He chuckled, squeezing her right hand with his left. “I suppose there is nothing to be done then. I shall have to be your humble servant until my debt for your discomfort is paid.”

“Exactly.”

His eyes danced and he leaned in and gave her a swift kiss on the lips. She’d wanted to linger on it, but he was too much of a gentleman, pulling away before she’d had much time to react.

“We should get back to the others,” he said quietly, then cleared his throat. “There is only so much Mr. Baitman can do before your watchful dragon notices we are both missing.”

Julianna squealed when Beth told her that Lord Bingham agreed to sing with her. Whether it was because she would finally be singing again or the potential Julianna saw in several more meetings between her and Carswell, Beth was unsure. Most likely it was the latter. Once a matchmaker, always a matchmaker.

The next week was a whirl of activities. Christmas was swiftly approaching and there were many festivities to attend. In between the activities Aunt Waverly had planned for her guests, Beth found small windows of time to practice with the others for the musicale. Unfortunately, if Mr. Baitman was not around, they were forced to put up with far too many words of wisdom from Mrs. Barker. And while she’d refrained from hovering quite so close to Beth, she’d become overly protective of Julianna, barely allowing her a single moment to speak with Mr. Kaye without interruption.

The eve before Christmas came with a flurry of activity. Servants hung greenery from every possible corner, including three kissing boughs placed strategically throughout the house.

Beth wove her way through the chaos, her cream gown swishing around her feet. The eldest Mr. Waverly seemed intent on instructing the housekeeper on where each pomander ball should be placed. The scent of cloves and citrus wafted around Beth as a harried maid rushed past with the decorations trying to follow the orders the housekeeper passed down from Mr. Waverly.

In the small parlor connected to the music room, Mr. Bartholomew Waverly paced back and forth reciting a sermon quietly to himself. He glanced up at her entry and gave a solemn nod before returning to his memorization.

Beth gave a tight smile. The rector had proudly proclaimed his intent of giving the Christmas sermon at last evening’s dinner, as he felt it a duty his curate had not the poise nor aptitude to deliver. At least he would finally be fulfilling the obligations of the position for which he collected tithes. Beth sucked in her lips at the uncharitable thought, but then stopped herself. Was it unkind to recognize the truth of the situation?

“There you are,” Julianna said as Beth entered the music room through the sliding doors.

She’d avoided the main entrance as the servants were in the process of hanging one of the many kissing boughs. Best not to be caught too soon under the ornament. Her caution had been worth the effort, for both Mr. Kaye and Carswell were already seated in the room.

“Here I am,” she said with a smile.

Julianna scooped up some sheets of music and handed them to Beth. “I was thinking Daniel and I could sing this piece.”

Hearing her sister refer to Mr. Kaye by his first name never failed to bring a hint of sorrow. It was a reminder every day that after this holiday things would be different. Life would never go back to the way things had always been.

Beth placed the sheets on the piano before sitting. As she worked her way through the music trying to find the right tempo, Carswell came to sit with her.

He placed a gentle hand on her arm and she stopped. “It is like this.” He quickly took up the tune, the fingers of his left hand moving much faster than hers had. The light staccato way he caressed the notes gave the piece a happy airy feel.

“Perhaps you should play for them,” she suggested. Residual pain from her realization about her sister mixed with an irrational irritation at his unsolicited instruction made her words come out far sharper than she’d intended.

His shoulders tensed and his brow furrowed. “My apologies, I only meant to help.”

She shook her head. “No, it is I who should apologize.” A sigh escaped her. “I am only a bit out of sorts.”

“Care to share?”

Beth glanced at Julianna deep in conversation with Mr. Kaye. “Do you think they will be happy?”

“Hard to say. I have never seen Kaye settle on any one woman so this is new to the both of us.”

Something twisted in her gut. Any one woman? Was Mr. Kaye a flighty man, or, heaven forbid, a womanizer?

“How long have you known Mr. Kaye?”

“I have known of him most of my life as his property is not far from Kettering, but I did not meet him until four years ago when we served together in France.”

“And was he… that is—” How did one politely ask about a gentleman’s personal pursuits? “Did he often keep company with”—she cleared her throat— “many ladies?”

Carswell’s eyes widened and surprisingly, his cheeks grew ruddy with color. “You misunderstand me. Daniel Kaye is as honorable as they come, he simply fancies himself half in love with a good many women until the newness wears off.”

“I see.” And she did, but it worried her. Would Mr. Kaye eventually grow tired of Julianna’s company and break their engagement?

It was possible. They had not known each other for long. Edward had broken their promise and she’d known him most of her life.

“You have that concerned expression again.” Carswell searched her face and she forced a smile.

“It is nothing, perhaps?—”

“What is the meaning of this?” Mrs. Barker’s shrill voice came from the doorway.

Beth glanced up to see Julianna jerk back from where her head had been bent together with Mr. Kaye as they’d conversed.

“Miss Julianna, do you think you can go cavorting about in such a manner? Just because you have accepted Mr. Kaye does not mean everything is settled. Word has still not come from your father and he may be quite cross at having already given permission to one man and having you reject him.”

They had been over this with Mrs. Barker so many times that Beth’s ears hurt from hearing her complaints. Even so, the woman could or would not accept that Mr. Caleb Waverly had no right to speak to their father. She insisted that Julianna must have led him to believe it was acceptable.

Beth leaned over to Carswell. “Please say your friend Mr. Baitman will be here soon.”

His lips quirked. “Within the hour.”

“Good. We need his dragon taming skills to save us all from a ghastly evening.”