30. Xeros

30

XEROS

W ithin my grasp, I carry a fresh carcass and picked berries. Evangeline waits for me in the comfort of our cavern and nothing pleases me more than seeing her eyes light up at the catches I bring back home.

Every time I leave the cavern, I anticipate the moments until I get to see her again. That's what inspires me to do the best I can to provide for Evangeline. She depends on me and I don't want to disappoint her. Not after everything she's been through.

Seeing the cavern entrance up ahead, my wings start flapping more infrequently as I lower myself to the ground. With my feet stable, I let out a small exhale as I enter the cavern. Evangeline decorates our small home with flowers and trinkets she finds while foraging outside.

"Xeros?" she calls out. Within seconds, her voice gives me calm. She greets me with a soft smile, as she always does. "I missed you today."

"As did I." I set the carcass down and hand her the berries. She thanks me gently. "You won't believe what I saw on the way back here."

"What's that?" she asks as she pops a few berries into her mouth. "These are delicious, thank you."

"Your human settlement was under attack by yet another waira group. They were feral, by the looks of it. And the humans weren't doing a good job at defending themselves against the waira."

Evangeline pulls away from me for a moment. In the past, she would have responded with some compassion for her old friends. I'm fully expecting that now. Most of the time, the humanity within her prevents her from enjoying the suffering of others, even when they've wronged her.

But this time, I don't see that same empathy and understanding. None at all, actually. Instead, she turns up her nose and starts dragging the carcass along towards the fire she created.

"Well, it was bound to happen, wasn't it?" Evangeline asks simply, shrugging her shoulders. "They don't have the manpower to defend themselves against the waira. I think we alluded to that before, but they didn't want to listen."

Her answer shocks me deeply. I stand frozen as I watch her get to work as if nothing happened. I thought she was going to demand that we helped them in some way, but it seems their latest rejection of us has finally brought her some clarity.

"What?" she asks. "You're staring at me weird again."

"I expected a different answer, that's all."

"Why?" She starts cutting through the meat, separating the legs of the animal from the torso. "I've thought a lot about what happened to us, Xeros. And I've thought about how they treated you and me. I was naive to think that they would show us some compassion. I was wrong. You tried to warn me, I know, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you the first time."

I shake my head. "I'm not blaming you for anything that happened, Evangeline. I was just as blinded as you were. I didn't think you humans would be as capable of cruelty as the dark elves, but I was proven wrong."

"Yeah." Her movements pause for a moment and her eyes glaze over, as if her mind is bringing back memories that she would rather forget. "I was aching for a second chance and I was so desperate to get one. I missed my home and I missed the memories of what used to be, but all of that is gone now. I've made my peace with that."

"I should have done more to protect us from them."

"No, there's nothing you could have done differently, Xeros. My mistake was ever bringing us back to the settlement. I knew how they were and how they would've reacted to us being together, but I was optimistic that they would see us as assets."

A small sigh leaves my mouth. "Instead, they saw us as creatures to exploit."

"And now they're paying the price for it." Evangeline punctuates that sentence by ripping the meat off the leg bone, grunting slightly with the action. "I knew that the waira were going to come back and finish the job. I just hope they are merciful when killing the humans still in the settlement. And I hope the children are spared."

"Where do you think they're going to go?" I ask. "The mountains are treacherous to you humans. If the waira don't slaughter them, then the weather is going to come after them next."

"They shouldn't have turned us away, then," she replies. A dry laugh falls from her lips as she works diligently to start cooking the meat. Her hands are coated with fat and blood. There's a small smile on her face as she works. "They deserve whatever comes their way next."

Now, it's my turn to laugh. "You're starting to think more like me with every passing day."

"Are you that surprised? We're connected, after all."

"That's true."

She works quietly to cook our meal and I provide her with a small cup of water, created from one of the stones I carved out during my free time. She accepts it gently and continues cooking the meal and I can't help but admire the way she works for me.

Evangeline is a force of nature. And she belongs to me. She always will.

By the time she finishes cooking the meat, she sets the food on our flat piece of stone. She makes sure that I have a large helping of food since I've been the one hunting these past few days. Evangeline nibbles on her pieces while I swallow down the meat whole, relishing in the flavors that pop across my tongue.

"Do you ever think we're going to leave this cavern one day?" Evangeline asks suddenly, breaking the quiet that encapsulated us.

"I think we've had a similar conversation before," I reply. "The one where you convinced me that we should return to the human settlement because you missed them."

Evangeline rolls her eyes and cracks a smile before shaking her head. "That's not what I'm referring to."

"Well, then explain that to me. What are you referring to?"

"I don't know… What if this place becomes too inhospitable towards us over time? What if we're discovered? What if the dark elves find out that you're the last Astreldi alive and they try to hurt you for it."

"Trust me, I don't think the dark elves are going to care much about me. I think they have many other problems on their hands."

"Okay, if it's not the dark elves, then something else can come after us. What then?"

"We'll be together," I say. "And we'll figure something out as we've always done. I'm never going to leave you, Evangeline, I've made this clear time and time again. You are mine and I am yours."

Evangeline nods. She bites into her meat and chews while she thinks. Then, she stares at me again.

"I don't want to risk losing you. That's all." Evangeline sets down her piece of meat. "The waira attack indiscriminately. What if they want to attack you next? What if they attack me while I'm alone? This place isn't the safest, you know that."

"I do know that, but this is the best we can do for right now. When the time comes, you and I will leave and find a better place to make our home. Maybe it'll be in a more isolated spot in the mountains where not even the waira can sniff us out," I reassure, reaching across the rock for her hand. "We'll be fine. I promise."

Surprisingly, Evangeline's eyes well up with tears. She sniffs loudly and uses her other hand to wipe away the tears. Then, she offers me a smile.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, Xeros. Without you, I'd be dead by now. Seriously. I would have gotten killed by Kraven out there. Or I would have been eaten alive by some animal. I don't know, but I would've died."

"Oh, Evangeline," I murmur. "Please don't cry for me. I'm only doing what I know is right. I will protect you against anything and I hope you know that."

"I know that," she replies softly, still wiping at her eyes. "But sometimes, I wish we could just shut away the rest of the world. I don't want any other humans, dark elves, waira, or whatever the fuck else coming here to bother us. We're creating our own life together and they shouldn't get to come and destroy that."

"I won't let them destroy that."

"How do you know for sure that you're capable of that, though?" she asks. "I almost lost you when the waira attacked the settlement. You did everything to defend the settlement and they treated you like dirt in return. I never want to let that happen again. I wanted to…"

Evangeline trails off. Her fists are clenched into balls and she grits her teeth. One look from me relaxes her, though.

"I wanted to make everyone pay for what they did to you, Xeros."

"Evangeline, I can protect myself. And you're learning to protect yourself, too. If you keep worrying about all the dangers and cruelties of this world, you're going to go crazy."

She nods along to my words as I continue.

"You don't have to keep worrying about the world outside this cavern. They don't matter to us," I say. "None of them do."

Evangeline smiles. "It's just us, Xeros."

"It's just us that matters. No one else."