13. Evangeline

13

EVANGELINE

A s much as I want to run towards the treeline away from this monster, I have a feeling that he's not going to let me go without a fight. But he's right. In so many ways.

I'm not going to survive out here for long. Either the cold will kill me or a wild animal that finds me vulnerable and alone. That will be the end of me, and as much as I try to convince myself otherwise, I don't actually want to die.

The thought of that terrifies me.

"If I say no, will you hurt me?" I ask in a small voice. He towers over me. With those sharp claws, he could swipe at me once and I'd be dead in an instant. "Will you kill me like you killed him?"

His outstretched arm drops limply against his side. There's an indecipherable expression on his face. I don't even understand what I'm looking at when I gaze into his eyes. Sharp teeth line the insides of his mouth. He has a small nose and a sharp jawline. There's nothing human about his features, which adds to my unease about him.

I don't know what to feel, but at the same time, I don't feel repulsed. Instead, I feel a strange fondness for him. It's probably because he saved my life. And now, he's willing to protect me at all costs.

If I want to survive on my own, I'll need an ally like him.

And if I return to the settlement with him by my side, how could they ever turn me away? Especially if I warn them what he's capable of?

My mind tells me one thing, but my heart leads me towards a different path. Gods, what do I do? Why did I say that stupid hymn? It's completely ruined my life.

"I'm such a fool," I whisper inadvertently. My mind replays the moment when I said those words, playfully and stupidly. "I should have never said those words."

"I'm glad you did," he says. I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "It's because of you that I'm here now."

And what good does that do? If I never said those words, I'd still be in the safety of my settlement. I wouldn't have turned everyone against me. I wouldn't have made enemies of everyone who used to be my friend.

Swallowing thickly, my shoulders slump and I sigh loudly. It doesn't seem as if I have much of a choice. It horrifies me that I'm in a position like this to begin with, but I created this situation for myself.

And now, I have to put together all of the broken pieces I have in front of me. Maybe someday, things will start to feel better. Right now, I feel like a pile of taura shit under the blazing sun.

"Fine," I say. My hands drop to my sides loudly and I offer him a nod. "I'll go with you, Xeros. I want your protection."

"What a fine choice," he says. I didn't realize that he was capable of smiling, but he's sending me a small one now. "You're not going to regret this decision, Evangeline."

"How do you know my name?" I ask, scowling. "I've never told you what I'm called."

"It's something that I'm still trying to understand myself. When I woke up, your name came to my mind immediately. It's proof that you and I are connected in a way that I can't describe. It transcends everything logical that I've ever known."

I never would have known that those stupid little words I said as a way to joke around would have me connected with a monster like him.

None of this makes sense, but it's my life now. The unknown that lies ahead of me scares me senseless, but I have no other choice but to face it head-on with Xeros by my side. There's a small sliver of solace that brings me.

At the very least, if there's any other beast or human that wants to attack me, I have him to tear them apart. I can't lie, it felt great to see Xeros kill Kraven as savagely as he did. When the light left Kraven's eyes, I knew that I was safe.

Inside me exists a brutality that I didn't know I had until I crossed paths with Xeros. I suppose he's not the only one being so deeply affected by this connection that we now share with each other.

"Where are we supposed to go?" I ask him. "We have nothing. We don't have food or water or shelter."

"All of that could be hunted, foraged, or created. So it's not a worry," he replies simply. He waits for me to lead the way into the forest so that he can follow close behind me. "Do you think the Astreldi were able to build our strongholds in a day? No, it took many generations of hard work before we were as notorious as the dark elves."

It's a shame that his kind was wiped out by the dark elves. I wonder how different Protheka would be if the dark elves were the ones who got eliminated during that ancient war. Maybe humans wouldn't suffer as much as they do now.

Or maybe, we'd be slaves to the Astreldi as we are to everyone else on this planet. Who knows?

"I'm sure there were a lot of you working together," I reply, crossing my arms over my chest. I place my hands firmly against my body, hoping to heat them up from the cold. When nighttime comes, I don't know what we're going to do. "And you have wings. You can fly. Creating a civilization must have been easy for you."

"Easy in some ways, difficult in others. Of course, we have the physical ability to create structures with ease, but the Astreldi were notoriously stubborn. It would take us many days to agree on something before we would act on it. We were arrogant. We never liked compromise with others as it was a sign of weakness."

"So you didn't want to compromise with the dark elves?" I ask. Xeros tilts his head as his wings flutter slightly. "That was an awful decision."

"I believe I know that, Evangeline," he says brusquely.

"Sorry. I was being a bit blunt with my words." Closing my eyes, I rub at the side of my face and sigh. "It's been a while since I've last eaten anything, so my head feels a bit strange. Foggy, in a way."

"That's easily fixed. I can find us a creature to feast on." Xeros starts surveying the surroundings again. He has small ears on either side of his head, but they tremble slightly. I wonder how good his hearing skills are. "Forgive me if I don't know which animals are the best tasting."

"I hardly know, either. I was never much of a hunter to begin with," I admit, rubbing my hands together for warmth. "And we should find some shelter, too. Before nightfall. It gets extremely cold in the mountains."

"Are you scared, Evangeline?" Xeros asks out of the blue, which catches me off guard.

"What?"

"Are you scared of being with me?"

I swallow hard, contemplating his question. I mean, isn't it obvious? I'm horrified by my circumstances. Not too long ago, I was nearly taken advantage of. Then an ancient creature comes to rip out Kraven's organs from out of his body. And that same creature wants to stay by my side and protect me.

Anyone with some common sense would be fucking terrified.

"I am scared, yes." I press my lips into a thin line, aware of how the heat rises to my ears with the way he's staring at me. "I'm scared by the fact that we have no idea what the night holds for us. I'm scared that we'll get attacked again, or we might get taken by surprise. I'm afraid that there might not be enough food for both of us, so we might go hungry. We might die because of the cold."

I take a deep breath. Just saying those things out loud made my heart start racing in my chest. So many things could go wrong.

Xeros nods. He doesn't respond with anger, frustration, or resentment. Instead, he brings me a calm peace that alleviates my nerves. I don't understand why he has this sort of effect on me. His appearance should do the exact opposite.

Maybe he's right. Maybe we're connected in ways that I can't understand, all because of that ritual I did.

"I understand your concerns, Evangeline, and I will do everything to make sure you feel safe with me. That's my duty."

I shake my head. "You don't have to do this, you know. You could fly away with those big wings of yours and never look back."

"Yes, I could, but I don't want to. You are important to me," he replies.

And for the first time since I've set eyes on him, my heart flutters. Turning away, I start to walk towards the trees. I want to forage. I want to take my mind off the emotions that Xeros so easily stirs up in me.

Behind me, I hear the crunch of his footsteps against the snow. The passing breeze cools down my burning cheeks and I try to focus on the positives of the situation, of which there are few and far between.

At the very least, I have Xeros, with his imposing and calming presence. The moment he notices something shuffling through the nearby bushes, he thrusts forward through the trees and captures it with ease.

My stomach grumbles at the sight. And a newfound heat pool between my legs. I've never been protected like this before, and I can't deny how intoxicating it feels. I want his comfort.

Gods, the herbs might still be messing with my head, but this monster is filling me with a strange desire.