17. Aurelia

SEVENTEEN

This was it.My golden opportunity. I couldn't pass it up, even if Sylas thought it was too dangerous. Maybe he was right—that I was being reckless. There was a chance that nothing was down there. But what if there was something?

Something was down there. Besides just the heat signatures, the signal that my device had picked up was definitely man-made. Human made. Which meant that maybe, just maybe… it had come from my dad's ship. A long shot, probably.

But not one worth giving up on, even if I had to do it alone.

Sylas would understand, right? That I needed to do this. Why I needed to go alone. Finding my dad was my mission, my purpose, and I didn't need to involve the ship or the crew any more than I already had.

I'd already pulled on my flight suit and boots, and the supplies I'd borrowed were stashed in a pack under my bed, which meant all I needed was a portable breathing unit. It was the only hesitation I had.

For all I could tell, the planet shared a similar composition to earth, though the surface was much rockier. But was the atmosphere identical—breathable? If I couldn't breathe on the planet's surface, I'd be limited to the oxygen tank in the specially designed helmet, which meant I'd have a lot less time to survey and track down the signal before I had to head back to the ship.

Hopefully, I wouldn't be gone for too long. I tried not to worry too much about how I'd explain all of this to my fellow officers. Where did I even begin? I'd been keeping this from them for so long that now it felt like I was barely keeping myself afloat.

I closed the door shut to the transport shuttle, breathing a sigh of relief at not getting caught as I moved to the console, powering it up. Hopefully, I could get to the signal and back and inspect it before anyone even noticed I was missing.

The display lit up as the lights flickered all around me, and I flipped a few more switches before sliding into the pilot's chair. I could do this. Closing my eyes, I pictured my dad's face. He would probably think I was being reckless. And the truth was—I was. This was insane. But the flashing coordinates on my data pad were there, close enough to almost be within reach, and I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by.

"Lieutenant." The voice startled me out of my thoughts. The deep, growly voice that I heard in my dreams. The one I'd begged to kiss me. "What do you think you're doing?" I shivered, his breath brushing against my neck.

"Captain, I—" I didn't turn around. I couldn't. How could I look at him? Knowing I'd taken advantage of his trust, the way I was starting to care for him—it was all too much.

And so was the way I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss.

My data-pad beeped again, and then it was wrenched from my hands.

"What is this?" He spun the chair around, the motion bringing his face within inches with mine.

I didn't answer, worrying my lower lip in between my teeth.

His face was furious. If I'd thought he looked grumpy before, well… I'd never seen him so serious. He'd pulled on his own flight suit, and his dark hair was combed back. Hot. Even angry, he was the most attractive man I'd ever seen. It was almost unfair, really, how gorgeous he was, like he didn't even have to try.

Though if he was ready, and as prepared as I was, maybe I hadn't been as sneaky as I thought.

"I'm going down there," I said, jutting out my chin.

"No." Sylas grit his teeth. "Absolutely not. I told you, we don't even know if it's safe. Let Finley or one of the other researchers?—"

It was the same argument we'd been having. To let them go down first. Explore the surface. Bring back samples, and then we could go down with a larger group. But I couldn't risk that.

"I have to do this. Me."

He rubbed at the crease in his brow. "Fuck, Rae. You're the most stubborn person I've ever met."

"I hope you looked in the mirror," I said, smirking at my little quip.

He just glared at me. "I can't talk you out of this?"

"No."

"Fine." He plopped in the seat next to me, crossing his arms over his chest. "Then I'm going with you. I can't let you go alone."

A frown formed on my face. "I can do this without you. I don't need to be babysat."

Sylas cursed under his breath, taking my face in between his hands. "Is that what you think, Aurelia? That I'm babysitting you? Or that I don't trust you?"

My eyes darted away from his. "Yes," I said, my voice a low whisper.

"Fuck." When I finally looked at him again, his gaze was fixed on my lips. "How can I get you to get this through your head, little star?"

"What?" I asked, feeling a little dizzy. Breathless. And it wasn't even from the lack of oxygen yet, because we were still fully enclosed in the ship's air system.

"When I kissed you, did it feel like I did it out of pity? Or some sense of duty?"

"No."

His thumb brushed over my cheekbone. "Then why can't you believe that I'd be here because I want to be? That I want to make sure you're safe, too?"

"But your job…" I swallowed roughly. "Your duty is to the officers of this ship. Not just me. You're the captain. You can't just leave."

"Kayle's perfectly capable of running the ship for a few hours while we're gone. I trust her."

But he didn't trust me. Not really. Because if he had, he would have been on board with my plan from the beginning.

"Okay." I whispered the word. Trying to ignore the fact that he was still cupping my face. Looking at me like I was precious.

Like he wanted to kiss me again.

"We should…" I tilted my head towards the console to point to the ship. Go. We needed to go. Otherwise, I'd want to kiss him, and that was a mistake I couldn't let happen.

Not when everything I'd been working towards was on the line.

"Right." He pulled his hands away, strapping himself in to the seat. "Let's take her out, then."

It was strange to see him here, sitting like he was my partner, not my superior.

On the Paradise, I never could have imagined him on one of these tiny ships. There was only enough space in them for a small crew, and Sylas took up much of that room with his enormous frame, and those broad shoulders I'd dreamed about running my hands all over. When we'd kissed, I'd felt those muscles under my skin.

A shiver ran through me.

"You good?" Sylas asked, clearly not understanding the thoughts running through my brain. Which was good. He didn't need to know what I was thinking. How much I'd enjoyed that kiss.

How much I wanted to do it again.

Warmth blossomed to my face as I nodded, wishing my hair was down to hide my face, instead of up in its usual bun.

Familiarity and routine had always grounded me. It made me feel safe, the repetitiveness of my schedule keeping my anxiety at bay.

I was throwing all of that out the window now. In a way, I'd left it all behind the moment I'd stepped foot on the ship to the space station. And again, when I'd boarded the S.S. Paradise.

Goodbye, familiar life.

Hello, alien planet.

I'd flownthese smaller crafts thousands of times during simulations, but it was different having the real one underhand. Because before, there was always a small part of me that knew it was a game. That if I crashed into something, it wasn't game over. I wouldn't be damaging millions of credits of government or federation property.

Now, though? I felt all that pressure. This wasn't a simulation. I really was flying through space, opening the airlock and leaving the safety of the starship behind.

"What are you waiting for?" Sylas asked, an eyebrow raised when he looked over at me.

"This is just…" I let out a breath of air as the ship's docking bay closed behind me. "Surreal." A smile slipped onto my face. How could it not? "I'm flying a ship in space right now."

"What would you call what you've been doing the last two months?"

I wrinkled my nose. "That's different, and you know it."

A snort left Sylas's nose. "Sure, okay."

Flipping the switches and pressing the required buttons on the dash, I slipped my hands into the steering mechanism.

Just like riding a hover bike, Aurelia. Except that crashing a hover bike meant you'd end up with a scraped knee and a disappointed parent. Crashing a ship like this? I didn't want to think about it.

"Nice and steady," Sylas murmured, pressing buttons on his side of the ship as well, easily slipping into the navigator role. "Where are you planning on landing?"

The planet's moon stretched out in front of us, and I pointed at the dot on the screen. I'd already loaded the coordinates in from my data pad. They were also programmed onto my communicator, since that was more portable for carrying around. "This is where the sensor pinged. I was thinking of setting down a few kilometers away, since the ground doesn't look too stable. Then we can walk on foot."

"And the heat signatures?"

I let out a breath. Talking was good. Did he realize he was helping to ease my anxiety? Maybe that was why he was asking me these questions. Maybe he knew me better than I'd thought.

"They're small, but scattered along the surface. There seems to be a high concentration of them here—" I pointed to a spot on the map as I flew the ship towards my intended area. "But I'm not sure if it's more than one species or what they are, even."

"What do you think they're surrounding?"

It probably would have been helpful to have Finley here, but I knew my way around reading geographical maps.

"It seems like water."

"What?" He looked over at me, surprised.

"I know it's crazy. This planet seems habitable. And considering the last location of my dad's ship, I can't help but wonder…" But hope was painful. I couldn't let myself think that way. I shook my head.

Sylas reached over, placing a hand on my arm. "If there's anything here, we'll find it."

"Thank you. For everything. You didn't have to offer to help me, and you certainly didn't have to—" I didn't have time to finish my statement, though, because the display flashed with warning lights.

"Shit." My eyes flashed to his.

"I thought you knew what you were doing, flying this thing?"

"I did. I mean, I do. It's just… I've never flown one outside of simulations. And maybe I calculated something wrong with the atmosphere of this planet. We're coming in too fast." My eyes flashed to Sylas, a look of worry spread across his chiseled face. "We have to slow down."

"How?"

I shook my head. "Do you know what happened to spaceships back in the twenty-first century? Assuming they'd make it into space in the first place?"

He brushed his fingers over his trimmed beard, a line forming on his face. "Yes. They'd burn up upon reentry."

"Exactly." I tried to ease off the throttle, but it was no use.

"So slow us down."

I hummed. "Great plan. Except, I can't."

"What do you mean?"

It felt like my heart was in my throat. "If I don't slow us down, we're going to overheat. These engines won't be able to take it."

"Aurelia." Sylas's voice was rough. "You can't mean?—"

"I know it's crazy. Yes, there's a chance it won't work." A forced laugh escaped my lips, a feeble attempt to ease the pressure weighing on my chest. It didn't. "But I have to try."

There was a large cluster of boulders—though they were so big that classification barely applied. I pointed at them. "There."

"You're insane."

"Probably." I shrugged. "If I hit them at the right angle, it should slow us down without destroying the ship. Hopefully."

My captain groaned. "My life is flashing before my eyes."

I could only hope that wasn't the truth.

That what I was about to do wasn't going to get us both killed.