4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

All Mrs Bennet could say, when Jane and Elizabeth went to her after awakening, was that Lizzy must arrange to marry Mr. Collins as soon as possible. She fretted that it would have to be a quiet wedding, for they would not be out of full mourning.

"Four months from now, that will be the end of February, it will be very cold, I should think," she bemoaned, "but my warm violet cloak would do, Lizzy, and you could have a lavender and grey dress made up. When must the banns be called, bring me my almanac so I can calculate what to tell the vicar, oh, when does Lent begin? You must marry before that..."

"I am not going to marry Mr. Collins," Elizabeth said it loudly enough that even Mrs Bennet had to take notice.

"Keep your voice down, my girl, lest he hear you! You ungrateful child, after all I have done for you, you would risk us being turned from our home for your selfishness? Lizzy, please," and Elizabeth might well have softened at the sight of her mother's genuine tears, she thought, if she had not begun to wonder about Mr. Darcy, "oh, please, what choice do we have? What choice do any of us have? Indeed, I do not know why he has set upon you when Lydia is so much prettier, but chosen you he has, you must marry him."

"Never," Elizabeth said, her back very straight, her courage restored by Jane's show of defiant strength the previous evening.

Mrs Bennet at once began to shriek and wail again, but Elizabeth merely lifted her chin. "You would do well to desist in that, Mama. Such racket will surely only encourage Mr. Collins to evict us sooner rather than later." And she walked from the room, rejoicing in the sudden silence.

Mary's door opened a crack as she passed, and Elizabeth turned. "Mary – are you all right?"

"You will not marry Mr. Collins," Mary said flatly, and Elizabeth shook her head.

"I cannot," she said, quietly but forcefully, and Mary nodded.

"I do not think that you would suit him at all well," she said candidly.

"Nor he, me," Elizabeth replied.

At that moment they heard the front door open and Hill's voice say, "Good morning Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy. Please come into the parlour and I will see if any of the family are available to receive you."

"I thought you told Miss Bennet to expect us this morning?" Darcy queried Bingley once they were alone in the parlour .

"I did! I hope Collins has not forbidden them to receive us." Bingley paced, his expression anxious.

That hadn't even occurred to Darcy, but it wouldn't be outside what he knew of the petty little man's character. Fortunately, it hadn't occurred to Collins yet either, he realised, as the door opened and Jane and Elizabeth entered.

Neither of them were in true beauty, of course, their eyes reddened and their cheeks sallow from crying. Bingley could not have cared less. To him, Jane was still absolutely the most beautiful woman he had ever beheld, and his heart broke to see the obvious evidence of her grief writ upon her delicate features.

"Miss Bennet," he approached, took her hands in his, and led her swiftly to a seat by the fire, where he at once sat close beside her. "Jane," he dared, his voice soft. "Oh, Jane – I do not like to see you so sad. Would that I could ease your suffering!"

Jane looked upon Bingley's kind, sincere face, and her heart melted completely. "Oh, Charles," she said upon a strangled sob, "I do not know what I should do if you were not here!"

"I will," he said fiercely, " always be here for you."

"Will you," she gulped, her courage almost deserting her, "will you promise me?"

"I will," he said fervently. "It is not the right time to say the words I want to say to you, we both know that, but here and now I promise you that those words will be said, and until then I am at your disposal."

Jane pressed her fingers to her lips, unable to suppress tears, and Bingley, who had certainly expected more tears today, pressed another fresh handkerchief upon her.

"Do not cry, my very dearest," he said tenderly, "your tears cut me in two. "

"Oh, Charles," Jane whispered, and she gave him a tremulous smile, such that he wanted to take her in his arms right then and there. Mindful of the presence of Darcy and Elizabeth, he settled for merely holding her delicate hand in his strong one, gently stroking his thumb over the backs of her fingers.

Elizabeth watched in bemusement as Bingley all but swept Jane off her feet. At last she was recalled to the presence of Mr. Darcy, as he gave a slight cough. At once she turned to him and made him a small curtsy.

"Good day, Mr. Darcy. I am afraid my mother is not well enough to receive you today."

"I am not surprised, Miss Elizabeth. Your family must be in the greatest turmoil, and I am sorry to impose myself upon you at such a time." He gestured towards two chairs set close by the window, well apart from Bingley and Jane. "Please, will you sit down? I am sure you have had little rest. Have you eaten yet today?"

Surprised by his sudden solicitousness, and indeed by his speaking so many words together, Elizabeth moved to sit where he directed. "I have breakfasted, thank you, Sir. Would you care for tea? I can ring..."

"I thank you, no, but please ring if you would like some."

She only shook her head, staring at him as though he were some strange animal, and Darcy had a nasty suspicion that Collins hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut. But where on earth to broach the topic? He started more safely.

"I am deeply grieved for your loss, Miss Elizabeth."

She looked down. "Thank you, sir." Her voice was very soft, unlike her usual firm tones.

"I sympathise: my own beloved father died six years ago. I was then only two and twenty, very close I think to the age you are now. I miss him still, though you will find that time is some balm to the wound."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said again, looking up to meet his eyes. Obviously touched by his sincerity, she gave him a small smile. "You are very kind."

"It is good that you have your family around you," Darcy said, thinking bitterly of his own family. Georgiana had been but a child and lost in her own grief, his cousin Richard Fitzwilliam away on the continent, fighting Napoleon's forces, and the rest of them had descended en masse, demanding that he marry Anne immediately and get a new heir to Pemberley. As if Anne would have been fit! She was then but seventeen, recently recovered from her illness, and the journey to Pemberley had nearly killed her.

"Yes," Elizabeth said, looking at Jane, and Darcy understood. The rest of the Bennet family were a burden to her at this difficult time. She and Jane had only each other to rely upon, and Miss Bennet seemed a fragile reed indeed, especially in the face of Mr. Collins. He only thanked God that the importunate parson had not yet burst in on them.

"Miss Elizabeth..." He paused for a long moment, staring at her, her beautiful face, those dark, dark eyes that pierced his soul. "This is perhaps an inopportune time to speak of such things, and I do not wish for you to feel that you are under any obligation. It is my understanding that Mr. Collins intends to make you an offer and perhaps that would be your preference..."

Elizabeth only stared, unable to believe that Mr. Darcy should be speaking so to her.

Darcy glanced across at Bingley, who had finally managed to coax a small smile from Jane. "It seems likely to me that your sister will be settled at Netherfield once your family emerges from mourning," he said at last. "I am sure that there is no need for you to marry Mr. Collins if you do not wish it. "

"I cannot marry him," Elizabeth said, finding her voice at last. "I cannot , not even to save my family from penury. I could not bear it. I could not bear his hands..." She stopped, red-faced, shocked that she had said such words to Mr. Darcy.

"I understand," he said, surprising her. "It has long been the wish of certain members of my family that I marry my cousin Anne de Bourgh, but I cannot contemplate doing so. While I am fond of her as my cousin, any closer relationship would repulse me."

Again he found something in common with her! Elizabeth asked him though: "I understood from Mr. Collins that your engagement with Miss de Bourgh was a settled thing?"

"Only in the mind of Lady Catherine," Darcy said bitterly. "I assure you, Anne is well aware that it will never come to pass. I fear that Lady Catherine's disappointment will be a fearsome thing my bride will have to bear." He looked at her intently.

She stared at him again in silence.

"Elizabeth," Darcy said at last, and she found, oddly, she did not mind that he dropped the formal appellation, "the night before last I had occasion to speak privately with your father."

He was trying very hard to not speak an untruth. It would be no foundation to begin a life together, if he was to start lying to Elizabeth at this stage. "I believe your father did not care for the idea of an alliance between yourself and Collins, even for the sake of the rest of your family." Still true . Mr.Bennet's distaste for Collins had been evident. "It was my belief that an alternative would have been most welcome." No lies yet.

"Elizabeth, I have esteemed you as a woman of sense and intelligence from our first meeting. My regard for you has only increased since then and I am no longer able to conceal my feelings." Oh, this is all too true. "I wish to court you. "

For long moments she stared at him in silence, and then at last she said; "Mr. Darcy, I can quite understand my father giving you his assent to a courtship. But it is beyond my comprehension that you would wish to court me . From our first meeting, you indicated that you did not find me handsome enough to tempt you. "

Darcy was still grappling with the horrible realisation that she had heard his awful words at that first assembly when she continued.

"And it has certainly been made clear to me that my connections are too low for one of your exalted station to wish to be associated with on any basis, certainly not a permanent one!"

Caroline Bingley, Darcy thought grimly.

But Elizabeth was continuing. "While I have no desire to marry Mr. Collins for my family's sake, nor am I inclined to rush into any other hasty personal choices. I have heard such varying accounts of your character..." Wickham! "...I find I am quite unable to make a sensible decision at this time."

For a long moment Darcy considered how to respond, and then at last he said, "Miss Elizabeth, a courtship will necessarily be conducted quietly and it should in no way be considered a fixed obligation on your part. I have no intention of informing any of my family other than my sister, who I assure you will not speak on it."

"Miss Bingley..." Elizabeth started, but Darcy shook his head.

"Miss Bingley will be departing with the Hursts for London today, and I do not intend to inform them before they leave, if we even return to Netherfield in time to bid them farewell."

"I daresay that is a wise decision," Elizabeth could not help but say, and Darcy grinned. It was the first true smile she had ever seen on his face .

"Certainly it will benefit my ears," he said, and her eyes widened at his joke. "Bingley is aware already, and I informed Mr. Collins yesterday."

"He told me. And Jane," Elizabeth said, and Darcy nodded.

"It might perhaps be wiser to leave the knowledge limited to that group for now. I will speak to Mr. Collins. It would, after all, be in the height of bad taste to broadcast such a thing at this time." To Elizabeth's enormous surprise, he reached out and took her hand in his. "This in no way places you under any obligation, Miss Elizabeth. I merely – I merely wished you to know, despite the inconvenient timing, of the high regard in which I hold you."

Elizabeth blushed, unable to meet his eyes. "I thank you," she said at last, unsure of what else to say. What could she say? That she had no idea that he had looked at her at all other than to find fault? That he was the most arrogant, prideful, impossible man she had ever met and she could not imagine being married to him?

"I am aware," Darcy said after a few moments, "that perhaps Mr. Collins may be upset with you. I would beg you to remember my words, and most particularly that I am certainly not engaged to my cousin, nor indeed obligated to any other person save my sister. I would request," he paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully, "that if your, or Miss Bennet's, position in this house becomes untenable or unpleasant for you, that you should let myself or Mr. Bingley know, and we will assist you in making alternative arrangements." Darcy was quite proud that he had managed to say that tactfully. What he had wanted was to demand that Elizabeth and Jane leave the rest of their family and come to London directly, where they could be established with his aunt and uncle.

"I will bear your request in mind," Elizabeth said quietly, and then realised he was still holding her hand. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, she was shocked to find. His hand was warm and firm on her cold one, quite unlike Mr. Collins' sweaty, clammy grasp, which always put her in mind of holding a dead fish. She wondered if she should pull her hand away. But it did feel nice.