Chapter Two

"I really do prefer to eat at my desk," Essie said, and then, because for some reason she felt like she owed this quiet man an explanation. "Canteens are usually far too noisy for me. Too many conversations at once and far too much banging and clashing. I promise I'm not being difficult."

"If you would permit," said Ben, still formal, "I will get you some lunch and bring it here for you, as you don't appear to have brought a packed lunch today."

Essie heard Briana laugh from across the room, and Ben shot her an unimpressed look. "She has to eat something Bri!"

"Oh I agree," said Briana, in a tone that held no small amount of bemusement. "She definitely does. Very sweet of you to go to the trouble of looking after her."

"She is right here," said Essie, pertly. "Please don't talk as if I'm not in the room with you."

Briana just laughed again, but Ben looked mortified. "Miss Bell, I mean Essie, you are totally right, that really was very rude of…" He stumbled over his words, and she put a hand out and touched his arm gently.

"It's okay, Ben, really. I was half teasing."

His look of relief was so all consuming, that Essie thought that Ben Jyles deserved to always have someone alleviate his stresses. She'd do it. He could pet her. Feed her until he burst, if he wanted. Anything to stop him looking so concerned.

"Lunch would be lovely, thank you. I'm veggie."

He was back in formal mode before she could even blink. "Of course. Would you prefer a hot or a cold lunch?"

"Hot please!" she said, before adding. "Maybe with a salad on the side."

Ben nodded sagely. "Good girls always eat their greens."

There was utter silence.

Essie didn't quite know what on earth to make of that comment. Well, perhaps not precisely true; she knew exactly what she wanted to make of that moment, but by the mortified look on Ben's face, he didn't know what on earth to do next.

With a strangled gurgle, he kind of sprinted from the room and she looked after him in concern. "Will he be okay?" she asked Briana, who was clearly trying hard not to start laughing again.

"He'll be fine, he just doesn't quite know what to make of you. Or himself, apparently." She looked at Essie. "Are you okay? I adore Ben, but that wasn't his most professional moment."

"Oh I'm fine. I'm contracted with you, not him, so it didn't feel like an abuse of power or anything." She looked out the open doorway thoughtfully. "And it did…" Essie paused.

"Yes?"

"It's okay; you're my boss for the duration of this project. It wouldn't be appropriate."

The laugh Briana gave then was rueful. "If it helps at all, I've known Susie for years. All sides of her."

Did that mean that…?

This was the problem with being a Little, Essie surmised. The topic of Littles was almost always talked around. Sometimes you just didn't know if people were saying what you thought they were saying. Made everything very confusing.

She wanted to ask Briana some more, but she didn't want to out Susie. Grabbing her phone she shot off a text to her boss at Stuffie Hospital. Does Briana know that you're a Little?

It was an open secret at Stuffie Hospital London that most of the employees were Littles or Caregivers, and seeing as she'd seen Susie have a meltdown the previous month, Essie didn't feel awkward in the slightest asking the question.

Absolutely. She's the first person I ever went Little around! came the reply.

"Okay," she turned to Briana, looking very fiercely determined. "So those words he used have a connotation for the most part, and an extra layer of meaning if you're like Susie and I." That was a nice way to say it without being inappropriate in the workplace. "The question is whether it would be appropriate to see if Ben is like Susie and I, or rather, if Ben is like the opposite of Susie and I, or is it…?"

"You've talked yourself into quite the corner there, haven't you?" said Briana, laughing ruefully. "Well, I can't answer for Ben, but he's a good man. And if you explained that you're not worried about the power dynamics—because you're being subcontracted by me—then I'm sure he would be happy to have that conversation with you."

It was at that moment that Ben Jyles returned, lasagne in one hand, and a bowl of salad in the other. "Here's lunch, Miss Bell."

He was back to the Miss Bell, and when he put her lunch down, he couldn't even make eye contact. "Thank you, Ben," said Essie gently. "I really appreciate it."

"I'm popping to the bathroom," said Briana, and shot Essie a pointed look. "I'll be right back."

"Would you mind taking a seat?" asked Essie, as Briana left the room.

Ben did, and only then did he lift his head to meet her gaze. "I would like to apologise," he said earnestly. "We've only just met; you're working for Hope's; it really was a completely inappropriate comment to make."

"Good girls do always eat their greens though." Essie laughed to show that she was teasing. "Look, I don't work for you, or even Hope's. I'm subcontracting for Briana, which means that though a little unexpected, this isn't the power imbalance that you seem to think it is. And, if I'm perfectly honest, I don't mind having someone look out for me every now and then. My autism means that I often hyperfocus, and like you guessed, often forget to eat. I'm not even sure if I've had anything to drink whilst I'm here."

Ben's eyes widened, and he went to say something, and then stopped himself.

"What?" said Essie. "Stop doing that! It's really unnerving."

"Fine," he said. "I was going to tell you that I'd get you a glass of water. Probably a pint glass. It's a wonder you're not more dehydrated."

She laughed then, and the sound startled him. "You are such a—" Essie stopped right in the middle of her sentence.

"If I have to share what I'm thinking, you do too," he said. Those grey eyes were looking at her again, as if he knew exactly what she'd been thinking, exactly what she was feeling all the way down to her toes. "Come on then, Essie. Tell me. Tell Daddy—"

"—Daddy."

They spoke the word at the exact same time, and stared at each other. Essie could feel her pulse racing, her heart pounding, and she took a deep shuddery breath in at the exact time Ben did.