Chapter Nine

The Morning After

I couldn’t remember the last time I woke up with a smile already planted on my face. Last night was everything, and the moment my eyes popped open I was ready to roll over and initiate round two.

Oh my God!

Covering my face with my hands, I squealed inside of my head.

I’d actually slept with my best friend! Again. Part of me couldn’t believe that I had done this a second time, but another part of me knew this was different than it had been with Samir.

Shaking my head as if it were an Etch A Sketch I could wipe clean, I lowered my hands and turned to find an empty bed. Sliding my hands under the rumpled covers, I felt for warmth, my lips twisting when I found none. Staring at the closed bedroom door, I strained my ears and listened for any sound of life in Poppa’s one-story house. The only thing I heard was the hum of the air conditioner. The realization that I was in that house alone sank onto me like the humidity in the summer after it rained during the day. It was heavy and oppressive and so damn disappointing.

It wasn’t unusual for me to spend the night at Poppa’s and wake up with her gone in the morning or the middle of the night. Sometimes she heard a melody or lyrics in her sleep and headed up to the studio to record them while they were fresh, no matter what time it was. I’d experienced this at least a dozen times over the course of our friendship, so I knew not to take it personally.

But that was before we’d slept together.

Before we’d shared something so intimate.

Before I’d had my fingers inside of her.

Before she sucked on my nipples.

Before we’d made each other cum.

This wasn’t supposed to be like any other time that I’d spent the night because, for me, it was different. As I drifted off to sleep last night, I’d pictured this morning going quite differently, so her absence stung.

Was this how she was with everyone?

That last question pulled me up short. I had a lot of places to go today, and there was not one of them. I tossed the covers off of me and walked into the bathroom to start the shower and empty my bladder while the water came to temperature. When I stepped under the hot spray, I let the water wash over me while I took a minute to unscramble my thoughts. There were things I knew for a fact, and things I was assuming. I needed to make sure I didn’t get them mixed up just because I was trying to figure it out alone.

Except, that was the fucking point.

It’s all fine and well to try to keep an open mind, but the bottom line was that I shouldn’t have been figuring that out on my own. Poppa should have been here when I woke up. Hell, she should have woke me up before she left, even if it was just to say goodbye and that she’d talk to me later.

But she didn’t.

One thing I hated above all was confusion.

By the time I’d dried off, moisturized, and dressed in a jersey dress I’d left at Poppa’s forever ago, an hour had passed and I still hadn’t heard from Poppa. I gathered up my clothes from the night before, snagged the bottle of water from the nightstand, and left the room. I was met with empty silence as soon as I crossed the threshold of the bedroom, which killed any lingering hope that maybe Poppa was just out in the living room watching a movie, or in the kitchen cooking something that was magically devoid of scent. Still, I walked through the house, checking each room to be certain.

After confirming that I was alone, I opened the door to the garage and immediately huffed a humorless chuckle. My car wasn’t inside of the small room. Closing the door, I sighed and left out through the front door. There was no need to worry about locking it, because Poppa could lock it remotely and would surely do so once the doorbell camera alerted her to my departure. My car sat in the driveway. I didn’t know how to feel about that. Poppa only moved my car out of her garage when she knew she wouldn’t be back before I was ready to leave. I usually found it thoughtful, since I had no way to close her garage after leaving her house, but today, it just confused me further.

Where was she?

Why wouldn’t she tell me that she was leaving?

And why didn’t she want to be here when I woke up?

The only person who could answer those questions was Poppa, which meant I needed to find her. For a brief moment, I was annoyed at myself for not being one of those clingy friends who continuously shared my location, because it would be so easy to just tap an app on my phone and pinpoint her exact whereabouts.

You could just call her.

I blinked at that logic whispered from the back of my mind, and then immediately shook my head.

Nah. I needed to see her face when I talked to her. She could say anything to me over the phone, but she couldn’t hide her expressions when she spoke. My stomach rumbled, reminding me how long it had been since I’d eaten. I downed the bottle of water and set my GPS for my favorite coffee shop. As soon as I backed out of the driveway, I instructed my Bluetooth to call Nana Cherry. It rang twice before she answered.

“Mommy!”

Hearing Amani’s sweet voice instantly brought a smile to my face.

“Good morning, my baby. Did you enjoy the movie and ice cream last night?”

“I did, Mommy! It was so fun! And Nana Cherry let me get two ice creams!”

His exuberance made me laugh. My mood was lifted just by witnessing his innocent joy. I had a brief reprieve from being pissed that my bestie had dipped on me after a night of carnality. Instead, I was grinning from ear to ear while talking to my favorite boy in the world.

“Ooh! That sounds pretty awesome. Are you ready for me to pick you up?”

“Ummm...”

Amani dragged the word out so long that I wondered if he forgot what I’d asked him.

“Dang, ’Mani.” I pouted. “You been gone for a week and you still not ready to come home?”

His giggle was so precious, I smiled through my pout.

“Hold on, Mommy,” he instructed.

The sounds of shuffling hit my ears, and then Nana Cherry came on the line.

“Good morning, baby.”

“Morning, Nana Cherry.”

“You not on the way to take my baby, are you? We were just about to head out to service, and you know how much he enjoys children’s church.”

Laughing, I just shook my head. Nana Cherry would cart Amani all over the world with her if she could, and he would go without complaint.

“Well,” I drawled. “I guess not.”

She made a noise of approval. “Good. The Texans are playing today, so you know service will only be about an hour. I already cooked this morning, so just come round the house to eat. We’ll be back no later than eleven.”

Glancing at the clock on the dashboard, I shook my head. It wasn’t even nine yet, and Nana Cherry had probably cooked six different things from scratch. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d risen before the roosters.

“I’ll be there!”

“Good. Talk to you later, baby. ’Mani, tell ya mama ’bye and that you love her.”

My baby’s sweet voice filled the interior of my car again.

“’Bye, Mommy!” he chirped. “I love, love, love you!”

“I love, love, love you too, my baby. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

The call disconnected, and I sighed. Amani was the sun in my solar system; no matter how dark things seemed to be, a moment in his presence—even distantly—brightened my entire mood. Feeling better, I sang along to my favorite playlist as I made the fifteen-minute drive to one of my favorite places in the city.

When I arrived to Black Coffee, the place was packed, with nearly all of the wrought-iron tables filled with people. In the back corner of the room, near the door that led to a patio area, was a group of older men playing board games across two tables that were pushed together. The volume inside was high, but not louder than the nineties RB flowing through the speakers. Stepping into Black Coffee was always so comforting, like walking into my granny’s house and seeing all my cousins chillin’ on the couch. It made so much sense to me when I found out that it was a family-owned establishment ran by three sisters.

The aroma of freshly ground coffee beans called me toward the counter. There was a short line of only three people, but the five people behind the counter were moving at a constant pace, which let me know just how busy they were. I stepped up behind two teenagers who were discussing what they could order with their limited funds when the woman at the register waved at me as the person in front of her moved down to the end of the counter.

“Hey, Juleesa!”

Grinning, I waved back and took a step forward as the line moved.

“Hey, Tasha!”

Tasha Black, along with her older sisters, Tonya and Toy, ran the cafe that had been started by their parents. She was the sweetest person, with a kind smile, soft eyes, and a soothing voice. We’d met two years ago when her and her father, Mr. Cyrus, delivered coffee to Sanity during one of my day-shifts. After that, visiting Black Coffee became a part of my weekly routine.

The boys in front of me stepped up to the register, but before they could say anything, I leaned around them and caught Tasha’s eye.

“I’m getting their order today.”

They turned toward me, mouths falling open.

“Order whatever you want,” I told them. “I’m paying.”

“Oh, snap!”

“Thank you so much!”

Tasha grinned at the flabbergasted boys. “You heard her. Ball out.”

I laughed as both of the boys started talking rapid fire. Somehow Tasha caught everything they said, keying in elaborate, secret menu–style recipes without stumbling or asking them to repeat anything. When they finished, they both turned to me with another round of thanks before heading off to sit at one of the few unoccupied tables.

“You in a good mood today, huh?”

At Tasha’s question, I immediately shook my head. More like the complete opposite. I was here for sugar and caffeine in the hopes that they would help.

“Not at all,” I answered honestly. Her eyebrows shot up. “But that’s why I need to do nice things, so I can feel better.”

Her lips turned down for a brief second as her chocolate-brown eyes roved my face. I don’t know what she was looking for, but she must’ve found it, because she pursed her lips and nodded her head.

“Can I choose your drink today? I’d like to make you something special.”

Surprised, my eyebrows shot up, but I quickly nodded. One thing I’d learned by frequenting Black Coffee was that the Black sisters knew their stuff. Each of them was the coffee equivalent of a sommelier, and having a custom drink prepared by them was a privilege. Tasha keyed a third drink into the computer and gave me my total. I tapped my card and then went to the end of the counter, leaning against the wall as I watched Tasha squirt different syrups into a large hot cup before steaming milk and pulling shots.

Tasha called out to me as her sister Toy placed the two large frozen concoctions and bag of pastries the boys ordered down and went back to the coffee bar. They grabbed their wares, thanked me, and practically skipped out of the cafe. Chuckling, Tasha handed me my drink, waggling her eyebrows as she waited for me to taste it.

Dutifully, I brought the cup to my lips and took a sip. My eyes widened when I realized what the flavor reminded me of.

“It tastes like a cherry cordial!”

Her red-brown face lit up as a pleased grin spread across her face.

“Good job!”

The warmth of the cup in my hands and the drink making its way through my body helped to brighten me up a bit more, and I felt a surge of gratitude for my favorite barista.

“Thank you for this, Tasha. You don’t know how much I needed it.”

Her grin didn’t falter, but her eyes softened. “Anytime, friend, and I mean that.”

Heart warmed and tastebuds dancing, I left the cafe and headed straight for Rhythm Rainbows. I needed answers, and I needed them immediately. Poppa and I were supposed to be able to talk about any and everything, and to have her disappear on me like this—after what we shared—was something I couldn’t let slide. We were friends above everything else, and right now, I didn’t like how my friend was handling me.

Lonnie let me inside the building, and I followed him back to Missy, my shoulders tight in anticipation of seeing Poppa after last night. I knew a confrontation was unlikely to happen inside the studio, since Lonnie’s presence meant that Xeno was there, but at least setting eyes on her would give me some semblance of an answer. I was disappointed to find Xeno sitting alone at the soundboard. She looked up when I entered the room and stood, spreading her arms for a hug when I moved further into the room.

“Aye, what’s up, Jucee?” she asked as she returned to her chair.

For a split second, I debated on how to answer that. There was no way for me to know if Poppa had told Xeno about us sleeping together, and I didn’t want to accidentally disclose that if she hadn’t, but I also wanted it known that I was looking for her.

“I’m just making my rounds as I search for one Cyndi Thomas.”

Xeno double blinked and then canted her head to the side.

“Come again?”

Laughing at her antics, I shook my head.

“I stopped by in hopes of catching Poppa, but it looks like I missed her again. Has she been in today at all?”

Shaking her head, Xeno leaned back in her chair. “Nah. I actually thought she was with you today.”

Sighing, I took another sip of my drink and shook my head.

“Alright, let me go find this girl.”

“Uh oh,” Xeno drawled, leaning back against the counter and crossing her arms over her chest. “She in trouble?”

I swiped my tongue over my bottom lip. That was something I could answer honestly. “She will be if I don’t see her today.”

Xeno whistled. “Do I need to warn her?”

Brows furrowed, I headed for the door. “Warn her for what? I’m not about to do nothing to that girl!”

Chuckling, Xeno pursed her lips. “Sure, Jan.”

That made me laugh. Waving goodbye, I left the studio. Once inside my car, I headed to the only other place I was likely to find Poppa. If she wasn’t at her parents’ house, then we would really have a problem.

There wasn’t a soul to be found once I made the thirty-minute drive to Mission Bend. The driveway was empty when I pulled up along the curb, but I still gave it a shot and rang the doorbell anyway, just in case someone was inside. No luck.

Walking back to my car, I was hit with a wave of emotion that made me want to cry. Why the hell was I driving all over the southside trying to find this woman? Why was I fighting so hard to accept the obvious? The moment that I woke up in an empty house, things were clear, yet I was on a hunt, looking for an explanation for something that could be understood without confusion if I would just stop and think.

Poppa didn’t want to talk to me.

She hadn’t called me. She hadn’t texted me. She hadn’t even emailed me or sent me any memes on social media. All of the things that made up our daily interactions, and all of it outlined how different things were now. One night changed everything for us.

I went from being her best friend to being just another of the women that she fucked and then discarded. Back in my car, I bent over the steering wheel, my chest aching as if I’d been punched. Despite the years I’d known Poppa and the bond we had, she was treating me just like every other woman. Our history—the love we had, the care we showed—meant nothing.

I started to text her but stopped myself. I was teetering into dramatic, and this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have over the phone. My heart was already sinking at her avoidance, but before I came to a full conclusion, I needed to see her face. She was an expert at modulating her tone, but her eyes could never lie. Lifting my phone, I swiped through my contacts and placed a call. It rang twice before it was answered.

“Hey, sweetie. I was just talking about you.”

Carissa’s friendly rasp greeted me, instantly bringing me a measure of comfort, even as her words made me pause for a moment.

Why had she been talking about me?

Who was she talking about me with?

What was being said?

I forced a chuckle, switching the phone from one hand to the other. My nerves had me restless. A dozen scenarios entered my mind, each of them more depressing than the last.

“What you sayin’ about me?” I asked teasingly, my playful tone belying the true state of my emotions.

Her deep laugh washed over me. “I was just asking Cyndi why you didn’t join us for breakfast.”

My steadily sinking heart picked up speed and plummeted directly into my shoes. Poppa was not only avoiding me but was keeping me away from her family. Had being unreasonably horny ruined my friendship? Before I could formulate a response that wouldn’t sound as hurt as I felt, Carissa continued on.

“I know, I know. Y’all aren’t attached at the hip—”

“Is that what she said?!” I interrupted, lips pursed, ready to cuss. It was one thing to cosplay a damn ghost—it was another to try and play me off entirely. The list of words I had for Poppa grew longer.

Somehow, Carissa was still laughing, completely unaware that I was in distress behind her only daughter.

“Oh, she didn’t even get a chance to fuss like she usually does because you called. Your ears must’ve been ringing.”

I relaxed—marginally—and offered a little laugh.

“No. I just pulled up to the house and saw that the driveway was empty. I know Nana Cherry is at church, so I was just calling to see where y’all were at before I drove off.”

“Oh, you’re at the house!” she exclaimed before the sound grew muffled, as if she’d pressed the phone to her chest or something. I could hear her speaking but couldn’t really make out her words. Finally, she returned. “We’re heading home now and should be there in about ten minutes.”

I started to shake my head even though she couldn’t see me.

“You don’t have to rush home on my behalf—”

“Girl, hush! We were only heading to H Mart and Cyndi was already complaining, so you’re really doing her a favor.” I heard Poppa’s voice in the background, and my chest squeezed a little.

“What are you mumbling about back there?” Carissa sassed. “You’re lucky I love Juleesa, because otherwise I’d drag you to nine different stores just for all this complaining you’re doing.”

“Babe,” Marvin’s deep voice soothed, likely from the driver’s seat.

That single word was all he said, but Carissa immediately paused her fussing and took an audible deep breath before blowing it out slowly. I marveled at the way one calming word from him could reel her in when she was on the cusp of going full Killa Carissa.

“I’m cool,” she murmured.

“We’ll drop her off to Juleesa, then we’ll head over to H Mart, and when we leave there I’ll take you to Tout Suite for those macarons you like.”

His tone was so sweet and loving that the tears I’d held at bay ten minutes earlier almost burst forth, only this time out of pure envy instead of sadness.

Marvin’s Cadillac turned onto their street, but Carissa didn’t hang up the phone. I listened as she thanked her husband and gave him loud kisses, a soft smile on my face at their unfettered display of love. Instead of pulling into the driveway, Marvin rode down to the cul-de-sac and made a u-turn before rolling to a stop beside my car. I stepped out and walked over to the passenger side. Opening the door, Carissa climbed out of the car and pulled me into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Daddy,” Poppa chirped from the backseat.

Swiveling around, Marvin glared at her.

“Get yo tail outta this car.”

Despite the pain in my chest, I laughed lightly, and Carissa hugged me tighter.

“Please take her away, ’cause I’m ’bout ready to clock her.”

“Dang, Mommy,” Poppa tsked from my left. “Two hours in your company and you ready to beat me already?”

My brain was torn between wanting to crack up at their antics and not finding much humor in anything at that moment, so all I managed to do was shake my head. “What am I supposed to do with her? She don’t wanna come with me.”

Leaning back, Carissa pursed her lips and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please. You’re all she talked about the whole time she was with us. She done got on my last nerve!” Carissa glared at her child before pulling me closer for another tight hug. Her declaration wouldn’t have been out of the ordinary had it come anytime before today, but I found myself skeptical. When she released me, I leaned down to wave at Marvin through the opened door.

“Bring me back some shrimp crackers from H Mart!”

Chuckling, he nodded. “Will do!”

Carissa climbed back into the car, and I took a step back so they could drive off without rolling over my feet. Once they turned the corner, I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts before I slowly spun to face Poppa. To my surprise, her eyes were already on me. I mean, it shouldn’t have been a surprise, because she looked at me all of the time, but after the last seven hours and all of the scenarios I’d cooked up in my head, I would’ve bet money that she’d avoid looking at me. My surprise was valid and...even more surprising was the hungry look in them. Surprising...and confusing. I had so many questions, so many thoughts whizzing through my brain that I didn’t know where to start. Slapping my hands on my hips, I frowned and dropped my head to the side.

“What the fuck, Poppa?!”