Chapter Twelve

Breaking the Seal

We’re just friends.

We’re just friends.

We’re just friends.

I had to keep repeating it to myself in hopes that the chant would actually affect the pure, uncut rage I’d felt at seeing Lil Miss Afro Puffs at the door of Rhythm Rainbows. That was compounded by the pure, uncut rage I’d felt when Poppa hugged her and barely spared me a glance. That wasn’t how we treated each other.

Well, it wasn’t before.

And, like it or not, things were different now. It likely didn’t help that I’d been missing in action for the past week. I’d needed time to process, but time did not heal these wounds, because being away from Poppa felt more like a punishment than a necessary device for healing. It was because I missed her as much as I did that I called her back a couple of hours after ignoring her call immediately after leaving the studio.

“You mad at me?” was how Poppa started the conversation. Surprised, I burst into laughter and felt the tension in my shoulders lessen. I could handle humor.

“No, Poppa. I’m not mad at you.”

“So then you’re coming over later to watch the music awards, right?”

My lips parted as I tried to work that out in my head. I didn’t actually have a reason to say no, other than my concern about being alone with her.

We are just friends.

We are just friends.

We are just friends.

With my mantra repeating in my mind like stock market ticker tape, I agreed to go back to the scene of the crime. It was dramatic, but it was exactly how I felt. However, if I wanted to maintain our friendship, I was going to have to get back to doing the normal things we did together. That meant saying yes when my mind was asking me if that was such a smart idea.

Saying yes is precisely how I ended up in this predicament.

You know when you go out drinking and you’re throwing ’em back all night without having to pee and shit is cool? You’re having a great time, laughing, twerking on your friends, and singing every song the DJ plays at the top of your lungs. Your bladder is being the MVP of the night, holding you down, allowing you to stay on the floor having a good-ass time, but then you have that one drink that puts you over the top and suddenly you have to pee so bad you might not make it to the bathroom in time. And once you pee, it feels glorious, like you’ve poked a hole in a water balloon and the swollen bubble is deflating at a rapid pace.

The problem is, once you pee that first time, you’re no longer able to hold it in for longer than fifteen minutes, and now you’re running back and forth to the bathroom all night.

You broke the fucking seal.

That’s how I felt about sleeping with Poppa.

Nearly a year without having sex had made me mellow. Even with grinding my covered pussy in folks’ faces for a living, I didn’t even desire to change that fact. One night with Cyndi Thomas changed that. I’d been activated, and now I was in go mode. We were just supposed to be watching an awards show, but I was unreasonably horny and unable to do anything but fantasize about the things I hadn’t gotten the chance to do to Poppa.

Each scenario of how I wanted to twist her up like soft pretzel from a baseball concessions stand was playing on my mind the entire time that I sat next to her that night. I couldn’t even pay attention and definitely couldn’t have told you who won what, even if I needed that information to save my life. If Poppa noticed I was distracted, she didn’t say anything, and I was too zoned out to catch any curious looks she may have aimed my way. I didn’t even know the show was over until the lights came on and Poppa tapped my foot. Her touch got my attention, but it took me a second to come out of thoughts of her calves on my shoulders.

“You aight?” she asked, eyebrows raised, her expression a mix of concern and amusement.

Lifting my arms above my head, I stretched and nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.” I stood up and grabbed my keys off of the coffee table. “I’m getting sleepy, so I’mma head out though.” I was the furthest thing from sleepy but what I was wasn’t something that could be addressed in her presence, so it was best if I bounced. Amani was with Samir because Pooh had a recital and it didn’t make sense to bring him home late, and I was off on Wednesdays, so there was no other reason for me to leave but to keep from trying to jump her bones again. That was a good enough reason, to be honest.

Poppa stood up as well and frowned. “Since when do you need to leave just because you’re sleepy?”

I refused to answer that. It had only been a few hours since I’d seen her all hugged up with another woman, and I clearly wasn’t as strong as she was. There was no way I could have a fucking sleepover like we hadn’t just been hunching less than two weeks ago. Grabbing my shoes from the side of the couch, I bent to step into them and tie my laces. Righting, I faked a yawn and headed toward the front door.

“I have a bed, I’m gonna go sleep in it. No biggie.”

If she wanted to say more, she’d have to say it to my back, because after I quickly pecked her on the cheek, I damn near sprinted toward the front door. I could feel her presence at my heels as she followed behind me, and I for sure felt her eyes on my ass with each step I took. It had been in her eyes that she didn’t want me to leave, but just like me, she was holding back in an effort to preserve something that I hadn’t thought was in danger. That was okay. I didn’t want her to feel backed into a corner, but I had my boundaries and if I did nothing else, I was gonna stick to them. Curled up under someone who was adamant about us keeping things in the box they’d always been in wasn’t a brand of torture I wanted to subscribe to.

I was steps from the door, hand extended toward the knob to let myself out, when Cyn grabbed me and pulled me over to the side, out of the path to the door. Startled, I blinked at her.

“Wha—”

Shaking her head, she cut me off. “I know you said we’re good, but this shit still don’t feel right.”

My brows shot up but I stayed silent, giving her time to work out what she wanted to say. To say I was surprised that she even brought it up would’ve been an understatement.

She pulled off her fitted and scratched her scalp before sliding the hat back on.

“Jucee,” she began in a somber tone that made my heart pound a little faster with dread, “you mean so much to me, you can’t even understand. I don’t want to lose this shit we have. I don’t want to lose you. Worrying about it has been hell, not seeing you for a week even though we’re in the same city was hell, and I don’t want to experience no shit like that ever again.”

Her words wrapped round me like a warm blanket. Avoiding her hadn’t been the easiest thing for me either, but it was comforting to know that I wasn’t the only one who suffered from the distance.

Her fitted was kind of crooked and her eyebrows were furrowed a little, like she was thinking hard about what she wanted to say, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a little hopeful. Lawd, but I hated it. You know that feeling when you were a kid and you’d been begging ya mama for an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas and she repeatedly told you that it was too expensive, but then The Big Day arrives and there’s a box under the tree that looks about the size of an Easy Bake Oven and feels about as heavy as you imagined an Easy Bake Oven felt and you look over at ya mama and she’s sitting on the sofa giving you this look—you know the look—that makes this flower of hopefulness bloom inside of you, but you’re afraid to let it grow because you heard her tell your granny that she worked two jobs just to make ends meet, and although you didn’t know what that meant, you knew what “too expensive” meant and it was possible that it was just a big-ass box of socks and underwear and frilly dresses for church, but that look?! That’s how I felt as I stared at Poppa’s face. She was back to being Poppa—my Poppa—and the uncontrollable hope had me stressed.

Twisting my lips to the side, I slid my hands into the back pockets of my jean shorts. “What are you saying?” I wasn’t in a position to guess. I needed her to lay it all out for me.

She licked her lips, the gesture making her nerves plain, but she never broke eye contact with me as she said, “I want us to try for something more. Something...beyond friendship.”

I felt my cheeks bloom like that hope in my chest as a slow grin spread across my face. “You thought about it and decided you wanna let me eat that pussy, huh?”

Laughter burst from her mouth as she covered her face with a hand and dropped her head back. The move exposed the smooth skin of her neck, and my lips tingled with the desire to kiss her there. It was only the need for confirmation from her that held me back.

“I mean...” she drawled, her voice suddenly low as she returned her gaze to mine. “Yeah. Among other things.”

The look in those dark brown irises coupled with the outright suggestiveness in her tone, plus her admission and the vision of me doing exactly that, had me throbbing with want. Sucking in a breath, I placed a palm on each of her shoulders and pushed her back against the wall.

If she wanted it like I wanted it, then she could get it right now.

Trailing my hands down over her breasts and her torso, I settled them at her waist. My grip was firm and I watched her face as I spoke. So far, nothing but anticipation looked back at me. I dipped my fingers into her waistband.

“You sure this is what you want?”

Her immediate nod was unsatisfactory. While I was glad she didn’t hesitate, I wanted to hear that voice. Thankfully, she knew me as well as she did, because when I quirked an eyebrow at her, she grinned and shook her head.

“Yeah, man. I know exactly what I want, and it’s this right here, with you.”

I didn’t even realize she’d raised her hand until her fingers found my chin and she used it to pull me toward her. My heart was beating so hard I was sure it would burst through my titties. Her lips found mine, and I sighed. It was perfect. Like that first breeze of air conditioning touching your skin after you’ve been outside playing all day in the summer. Or getting the first cup of ice-cold Kool-Aid that was made by your baby brother who’s always heavy-handed with the sugar. The way our mouths seemed to fit like the most important pieces of a heart-shaped puzzle that only had the center missing just made sense. Like this was already written in the code of whatever simulation we were living in. It was a relatively chaste kiss, only ending when she licked the seam of my mouth before pulling back as soon as I opened for her. The teasing was right up my alley, and I wanted more of it.

I almost melted into a puddle of pure happiness and lust.

“I want you, Juleesa Marie Jones.” The corner of her mouth tipped up. “And I really wanna see what that mouth do.”

I was laughing before I realized it, and it wasn’t until that moment that it hit me how important that was for us. Poppa and I stayed clowning so much that laughter was like another language for us. That wasn’t something that I wanted to lose just because we decided to jump the platonic ship and land on deck of the romantic one.

Still chuckling, I pursed my lips and began to unbutton her jeans. Watching her face was like observing a world wonder. Her laughter petered out and she sucked that juicy-ass bottom lip into her mouth as her eyes became hooded with lust. Even if she hadn’t told me, it was as clear as glass that she wanted me—at least in this moment. And with the way I wanted her, nothing could’ve prevented me from pushing her pants down her thick-ass thighs and squatting in front of her. I glanced up, waiting for some sort of protest, but when she remained silent, her eyes begging me to continue, I did as I’d intended.

First, I reached around and palmed her ass, something that had been on my mind for a while. I’d felt her ass before but it was different in this context. This wasn’t an accidental grope in the middle of the night as we slept next to each other. This was intentional and purely for pleasure—mine and hers. I only spent a short time kneading her cheeks, but when Poppa huffed a soft breath through her nose and grunted, I knew it was something I’d be returning to as soon as I was able.

Sliding my hands around her hips, I reached the front of her boy shorts and ran two fingers along the slit between her fat lips through the material, moaning at what I found. She was already so damn wet, my mouth watered in anticipation. The brand of underwear she wore was from an inclusive designer and had a buttoned hole in the front. I quickly undid the two buttons and used my two index fingers to separate the fabric as I leaned forward and stuck my nose inside. The intoxicating scent of her arousal was expected—finding her completely bald was not. That’s not what I remembered from a couple of weeks ago. Grinning, I shook my head. One thing about Poppa, she was going to defy stereotypes when you least expected it.

From the positioning of the hole and because Poppa’s pussy was so fat, the only thing I could reach was the very top of her slit. With my fingers rubbing her through the shorts, I gave her one slow lick. You would’ve thought I’d bit her with the way she hissed and jerked against me. Pulling back, I met her gaze.

“You okay?”

Her chin dipped, but she stopped mid-nod and gave me a smile. “I’m better than okay. I’m just—I don’t get a lot of action down there, so it’s sensitive.”

My eyes bugged, but I quickly lowered my head to hide my reaction. With all of the women who constantly hovered around her everywhere she went, I expected that Poppa got head as a part of her daily vitamins. Hearing that the truth was actually opposite shocked me.

And fueled me.

I was already going to put in work, but now I wanted to give Poppa brain so good she called my mama begging for my diplomas. I was about to spell my name on her pussy with my tongue, and no woman who came after me would be able to erase it. Poppa had no idea, but she’d just unlocked a side of me that I’d kept under wraps for good reason.

It was now demon time.

Yanking her shorts down to her knees, I pressed a kiss to her fupa before using one hand to spread her lips and expose her wet clit, while the other dived for her now-uncovered opening. I gave her open-mouth kisses while rubbing through her wetness. Her flavor was an intoxicating salty-sweet that had my eyes fluttering closed as I devoured her. Her hips bucked against me and her hands came to my head, but nothing stopped me from my mission of cleaning my plate. When Poppa’s grunts turned into strained mewls, I sucked her clit into my mouth at the same time that I slid my middle and ring fingers inside of her.

“Oh, shit, Jucee! Fuck!”

Her words came at the same time as she thumped her head against the wall, but it was all drowned out by my contented humming. This was where I wanted her. Thrashing and undone and quivering. Knees shaking, chest heaving. She only had one hand in my hair and had used the other to lift her shirt and cup one of her heavy breasts, her fingers tugging at the bar through her nipple. It was such an erotic sight that I was liable to cum just as I was, squatting between her legs with a mouthful of her pussy and my fingers thrusting inside of her. I was so tempted to slide a hand into my own panties and bring my release to the surface, but my plate was almost clean, and I’d be damned if I left behind a single solitary crumb.

Curling my fingers inside of her, I released her clit and replaced my mouth with my fingers, rubbing at her swollen nub while I licked and sucked around it. It felt like only seconds of that passed before Poppa let out a cry that sounded almost painful. Eyes up, I watched her come apart in my hands, relishing each and every expression on her face, twist of her lips, and the couple of tears that spilled down her cheeks. I gave her a minute to catch her breath before I completely pulled off of her. After redressing her, I stood to my feet and stared at her. Her fitted was barely hanging on, one of her titties was hanging out of her bra, and her eyes were blown. She looked completely wrecked, and I loved it.

Without saying a word, I fixed her bra and straightened her shirt. Then I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” was all I said before walking out the front door and using my key to lock it behind me.