47. My Darkest and Lightest

Leonie

We drove in silence. His knee was twitching aggressively the whole drive, the screen of his car lighting up with calls from his dad over and over. He rejected them all, putting the ringer on silent so it didn’t jerk me out of my thoughts.

But I didn’t have any.

I just watched as we drove through Darley, the dark sea rushing the shore, the teenagers smoking out on the beach like we had once. I felt the cool sea air against my face, the window down because I needed something to sober me from my racing heart.

“Did you ever tell anyone?”

The words were mine but I didn’t say them, didn’t feel my lips push them out. They were just there.

“No.” His voice was raw, his gaze fixed on the road. “Not a soul.”

“That’s a lot to burden yourself with,” I whispered, picking at my fingernails.

“Don’t,” he said on a deep inhale, eyes closed. “Don’t feel pity for me over this.”

I shrugged, looking back out the window.

We continued like that as we drove further into the seaside town, away from the shoreline towards his apartment. There, I would still curl up into his side.

“Your dad was a good man,” he said. “Can you remember that last night at the cove when he caught us by the pool?”

I nodded and he glanced up to catch the movement.

“He gave me his blessing to date you.”

“I know,” I said, my voice cracking. “He loved you. Always gushed about you.”

Another silence fell upon us and then, as if it tore itself from his chest, he blurted, “I love you, Leonie. I loved you then, love you now, will love you in my darkest and lightest moments. You are the one constant.”

Tears pricked my eyes as I stared out at his road. I swallowed down the declaration I wanted to give because I just couldn’t.

“Don’t say anything,” he added. “Don’t say anything you don’t mean.” He pulled up into the apartment garage and cut the engine. “If you want me to sleep in the spare room, I will. If you want me to call Rocco to watch over you, I can. If you want me to disappear, I will. Whatever you want, Leo.”

I wanted none of those things. Just him.

“I want us to get into bed,” I said, finally looking at him. His eyes were red as if he’d smoked a joint. “I want you to hold me and then I want to sleep for three days straight.”

He nodded with a watery smile. “Yes, that we can do.”

A second later he was at my side, helping me out of the car and into the lift.

We’d brought a suitcase each, expecting to stay here in the glow of our revealed relationship. I always overpacked, thinking of every possibility. Despite the weather, I wished I had brought those awful chequered pyjamas. Blame my naivete, but I hadn’t expected to cover up in bed with Dom.

I pulled on one of his tops from his suitcase before cleaning my teeth and curling up into bed.

Dom came through, a bottle of water and a pack of ibuprofen in his hands that he placed on my bedside table.

But I couldn’t roll over to take them. My body was so heavy.

As Dom undressed, his phone lit up on the bed, over and over. The thin duvet under my chin, I said, “You can call your dad back.”

“I don’t want to,” he said and got in with me, pulling me to his bare chest.

His warm skin on mine, my legs wrapped around his, my cheek against him and I broke. Sobs surged out of me and he stroked my back, holding me tight.

I reached up to kiss him and he let me, but there was no pushback for once. He let me lead, hungry for an escape from my thoughts, for a distraction.

But my weeping over took any kiss, the salt tears trickling into our mouths. I didn’t want him to taste my pain.

He stroked my cheek with his thumb as we looked into each other’s eyes. He didn’t need to say anything, his worry and devotion were clear in them. Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he returned to rubbing my back and, with my sobs, I rocked our bodies into sleep.

* * *

Somehow, I managed to sleep deeply and dreamlessly. I woke in the exact position I had fallen asleep in, wrapped around Dom’s body. But thirsty.

My throat was sore and I extracted myself carefully from Dom, not wanting to wake him. I downed the water and ibuprofen when I noticed my phone shining on the other side of the room. I hadn’t touched it since that text came through from Issy saying she was going to be late, so Dom must have put it on charge for me before getting in bed.

I tapped my toes against the wood floor before slipping my feet into the slippers Dom had put at the end of the bed. I sat on the edge of the mattress, staring at my phone because, without a doubt, there would be multiple angry messages from Issy on there. Probably Mia, too, if she really was in town.

But the call coming through wasn’t either of them. It was Derek.

His voice was urgent. “Are you with Dom?”

I tiptoed out of the room, watching him sleep, his arms reaching out to where I had been minutes ago. “Kind of.”

“He can’t hear this.”

My stomach lurched. “Wh—why?”

There was a beat of a pause. “I’m going to come and pick you up. Are you at his?”

“It’s six in the morning, Derek. What is going on?” I closed the door behind me and sat on one of the chairs at the kitchen counter, swivelling it to watch Dom’s bedroom door just in case he came out.

“I can’t… I’m leaving now.”

“Derek, you will tell me right this second.”

He sighed and I heard the beep of his car unlocking. “I found an account we recognise. It’s Bristow Buildings.”

Ivan’s faux company he used for laundering. Only we knew the link between that firm and the Belovs.

“I’m so sorry, Leo,” he apologised. “I trusted him, too. I couldn’t… I can’t believe it myself.”

The Belovs paid Firdman 250k?

But… why would they do that? Not for…

No.

“I’m coming to get you,” he repeated. “I’m fifteen minutes away.”