41. Physically? Fine. Mentally? Fucked.

Dom

I’d followed Leonie at a distance as she walked out across the patio, the grass and onto the stretch of beach we owned. It was dark by now and the clear sky was twinkling with stars. The path was lit, but she could walk this route blind.

We’d spent so many nights on this beach.

None had felt as ominous as this one.

She kicked off her heels on the decking and walked barefoot on the sand before collapsing onto one of the sun loungers. She fell with such a loss of control that I legged it down to her side, falling on my knees beside her.

She looked down at me with a confused frown. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?” I asked, taking her hand in mine and looking down at her legs for any scrapes.

“Physically? Fine. Mentally? Fucked.”

“Come back in. I’ll grab you some water and—”

She shook her head and looked out to the sea. “Not because of the alcohol. It’s just been… quite a week.”

Because of me.

But she gave me that dull look she often had upon her, full of reproach and dismissal. “Not because of you either. Not completely.”

Her dad.

“I spoke to Derek just now,” she admitted and swallowed hard. “It wasn’t him. When I told him, he… he broke down. If I know anything, I know it’s not him. I’m going to give him Robbie’s details so they can work on it together.”

I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb. “I was thinking about it… he hasn’t gained anything from what happened. It wouldn’t make sense.”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice non-committal in the breeze that came from the shore. Then she physically shook off whatever thought she had and said, voice firm, “We need to come clean. Mia will tell everyone and we have like two weeks until the end of the month and I refuse to lose Issy. We’ve had our fun, but I can’t risk everyone in my life just because you think you like me.”

“You think I like you?” I snarled with such disgust that she blinked. “I am so fucking sick of how worthless you think you are. I don’t like you, I love you, dipshit.”

“Don’t,” she rasped, tears welling in her eyes. “Don’t play mind games with me.”

“I’m not playing any games with you. Let me be explicit: I want to be with you. In every way. Sexually, exclusively, publicly, fucking legally, Leonie.” A shocked, sharp breath escaped her, but I continued. “I didn’t lie earlier when I said I have been waiting, wanting, loving you for years. If I have to wait longer to have you, I will. But I can’t keep this need back anymore. I need you to know. To know that I really didn’t want to fall for you, but I did. Slowly, softly as kids and even from afar, my love for you has always been so sweet and good. It’s been the one truly good part of me.” I took in a deep breath, trying to read her expression. I whisked away the tears that had dropped onto her cheeks. “For a while, I almost had you. If that night had gone differently, we’d be together. We’d have everything together. You know it, too.”

She nodded, looking down at our intertwined hands. “I know it,” she whispered in agreement.

“I am so sorry for leaving you when you needed me. I won’t let you down again,” I promised. “I won’t.”

For the next six waves that crashed, she stayed perfectly still.

She knew she deserved better. She had said so herself. Maybe even someone like Sam. Definitely someone like Jack. But I had sabotaged that and I would sabotage Sam. Maybe not as far as my father would like, but…

If she denied me now, I would go.

To the furthest ends of where money could take me. If I were even close enough to see her with another man—

Somehow, I had handled it with Jared and those other guys before. Because I hadn’t been with her, I didn’t know what I could have.

I knew I wasn’t good enough for her because I had never let myself be.

Maybe she would forgive me.

The sea continued to rush the shore and she continued to stare, unblinking, down.

Then she rubbed my thumb with hers.

Another wave, not quite as loud as the blood pulsing in my ears.

She clasped my hands with both of hers and brought them up to her chest. I held my palm right over her heart as she blinked, head bent.

With the next crash of water, she snapped her neck, looking up at me, pulling me by the chin for her lips to press to mine.

Not breaking the kiss, I moved to sit beside her on the sun lounger. I ran my hands up her thighs then raked them through her hair. Just like last night, our kiss was deep and slow, tongues twisting, tasting each other.

Leonie’s hunger grew. She came to sit on my lap, unravelling my tie and pulling me closer by my shirt collar.

I cleansed her of the touch from any other man by touching her everywhere. Her back, her neck, her chest.

“Do you like the dress?” I exhaled when we finally paused, breaths short on each other.

She breathed a laugh onto my suddenly bared chest. “I love the dress. Please don’t rip it.”

“Help me take it off then,” I whispered in her ear, already pulling it up past her hips.

She lifted her arms and I whipped it off in one motion.

Leonie Castillo was naked, atop me on the beach, accepting my love.