36. Just Some Girl

Leonie

At home, we ordered pizza and I made us some very strong pina coladas as Ivy started Just Dance. She had never played before but was not put off by the difficulty ratings and went with the songs she wanted, screaming and singing along to them.

Jack found it hilarious, laughing and helping me, brushing up behind me with his hands on my hips. “These smell great.”

“Go, sit down. I’m nearly done.”

He kissed my temple.

The man had confidence. He oozed it, practically dripping down those muscular arms.

If only Dom weren’t in the room, making me question every little movement I made.

I’d even become flustered ordering the pizzas and added whatever he had chosen to the basket again.

As I brought over the drinks, Ivy danced to an 80s pop hit, giggling away. She really was a nice girl. Which meant she was far too wrong for Dom.

Jack nodded to her. “She’s not the rebound you told me about.”

“Huh?” Dom asked, looking up at her as she struggled to catch up with the dancer on the TV screen. She had picked one of the most extreme dances and wasn’t giving it a bad go but looked over regularly for support. I threw a thumbs up her way.

“You’re not excited about her like you were the girl you told me about,” he said, smiling up at me as I offered him the drink.

Had Dom spoken to Jack about me? And labelled me a rebound?

As I handed Dom his drink, I kept eye contact, letting him know by my set jaw just how furious I was.

He stared back and took the whiskey. “She was just some girl.”

Just some girl.

I was just some girl.

And Some Girl could go and get some. I scooted between them and placed my hand on Jack’s thigh before taking the drink I had just given him and placing it down on the coffee table. He frowned down at me in question and I leaned into him. “You wouldn’t talk about a date like that, would you, Jack?”

He shook his head in small motions and squeezed me around the waist. “Not this one.”

I laughed and then leaned in to kiss him as he looked like a deer in headlights.

Jack’s kisses were not like Dom’s. He was hesitant, soft, slow.

The song ended as soon as I pulled myself onto Jack’s lap. When I was brave enough to glance up, Dom had Ivy against the wall, whispering in her ear as she giggled.

My arms looped around Jack’s neck as I deepened the kiss. I wanted him to take control like Dom would. I wanted him to spin me around and nail me to the sofa.

Lies. I didn’t want him to do that.

But then he lifted up my dress for his hands to traipse up my sides, the tips of his fingers tickling up my ribcage as he kissed me back, his tongue coming for mine.

Yes.

Jack planted kisses down my turned neck as my eyes found Dom’s. He was grabbing Ivy’s ass, his other hand on her hip as her head tilted back into the wall.

Eyes locked, I challenged him as I started to rock on Jack’s erection. He watched and ran his tongue up her throat.

My stomach fluttered with the worry of how far this could go. Break, Dom, break first, please.

Don’t kiss her, don’t—

He broke our eye contact to nip at her bottom lip. He pulled it back between his teeth and her chest heaved.

Jack was good for me. Jack was good. He should have my full attention.

I fisted the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to me, kissing him hard on the mouth. Despite the dancing sobering me up a bit, my mind was still somewhat foggy and I let all the feelings go, pouring them into Jack’s mouth with my tongue.

It was nasty.

Dom had invited himself onto my date, my way of getting back out into the world and then brought another girl to make me jealous? A girl that, yes, he was now pinning against the wall. Right by where he had touched me for the first time.

To focus on anything but him, I undid the buttons before me.

Jack bent to my ear. “What is this? Some kind of after-party fourway?”

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” I mumbled against his lips and pulled his shirt out from his trousers to feel the grooves of his abs.

He wasn’t him.

And Dom now had Ivy by the wrists, pressed above her head. Just as he had me.

But she wasn’t me.

I really was just some girl. I couldn’t do this.

“Food’s here!” I shouted and grabbed my phone to pretend it had just pinged. I read the imaginary text. “Yeah, they’re just outside. I’ll go.”

And, without looking at any of them, I rushed to the door in my slippers.

“Leo, I’ll—” Jack started.

“You’re half-dressed,” Dom snapped at him. “I’ll come with you, Leonie.”

But I didn’t want his company. I wanted nothing but to be left alone.

I slipped into the lift before Dom had closed my front door.

In the lit-up mirror, I pulled down my skirt and ran my finger along the edge of my lips, trying to contain the lipstick smudge. Lift lighting was always far too bright and showed off every crevice, every pore on my face. So not only was I an awful person for that exchange back there, for using Jack, but I was also an ugly, awful person.

I checked my phone, hoping the food had miraculously arrived but I had no such luck. It hadn’t even left the restaurant yet. I could make an excuse about the driver getting lost. At least I’d be able to get out of the building before Dom made it down the four flights of stairs.

But as the door dinged open, he was just on the last step, slightly breathless.

Our security guard for the building eyed us both with caution.

I waved a dismissive hand at Dom. “Don’t speak to me.”

But he jogged to my side. He must have sprinted down the stairs.

“Let’s go and find the delivery guy,” he said and went to take my hand but I pressed on, walking through the door ahead of him.

“Where does it say they are?” he asked, looking around the dark car park.

I looked down at my phone. “Still at the restaurant.”

“What? You…” He breathed out. “Oh.”

I turned away from him, pressing my phone to my pursed lips, trying to hold in a sob.

“Come here,” he said, wrapping his big, warm arms around me, pulling me into his chest. He kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry if you’re sorry.”

“I don’t want to be sorry. I’ve done nothing wrong.”

He chortled. “Sure.”

“Technically, I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Technically,” he repeated with amusement. “Then why are you crying?”

“I’m not!”

He gripped me tighter. “It got a bit intense. It’s got a bit out of hand. I didn’t want you to go on a date with him.”

“I didn’t want you to go on a date with her.”

“So what do you want?”

To just stay in this moment for a while. For him to hold me.

For the last ten years to have not happened as they had.

To go back to that day.