20. It’s Just Sex

Leonie

He meant a mouth he was starting to enjoy. He meant a mouth that had made him come. He meant a mouth that he kissed. Not that he was obsessed with. He was only obsessed with himself.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it as I showered. I thought about it as I overheard Dom berate Issy while I dressed on the bath mat. I even thought about it while, as a result of said berating, she apologised to me in the living room.

As soon as she was done, it was my turn to feel guilty. I pushed myself back onto the sofa as far as I could go.

When Mia had told Issy that she’d been with Dom, all hell had broken loose. Issy had refused to speak to her for two months. Issy’s manager had to step in and liaise between the two of them. She’d threatened to set Dom’s car alight.

I got it. When Dom had everything and then took her friend, I got it.

And I knew my exile would be far, far worse. My exile would cost me my second family.

“I’ve got some emails to reply to,” she said quickly and stood. She, like her brother, was not very good at giving apologies. Forgiveness was also up there in her struggles.

Dom whisked his bowl of batter, watching her go to her room then he leaned over the sofa and said, “You want a smoothie, babe? Waffles?”

“Just a smoothie, please. Maybe one waffle,” I said, turning to see his face right beside mine. I repeated in my mind that this was just sex. It was just sex. He might actually be a kisser, but this is just sex.

And, with Issy so close, he couldn’t be a kisser right now. Even if his lips were a mere inch from my own. My heart was very quickly racing, hoping he would bridge the gap, he would take control but—

“Babe?” Issy shrieked, running out of her room.

I sensed Dom standing behind me, whisking again.

“I—” I started.

“Last night, after you left us,” Dom said quickly, “we were talking about icks. Leo hates nicknames.”

“Babe being the worst of them,” I agreed with an eager nod.

Her scowl darted between us. “I don’t know if I like you two being friends again.”

I laughed, looking behind me to Dom. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

He smiled back, then emptied the mixture into the waffle maker.

The three of us ate our waffles, the hangovers leading us to silence. Despite the utter exhaustion that encapsulated me, there was a current of electricity on my skin as Dom sat beside me, the hairs of his leg brushing against my bare ones.

With each touch, I felt my body tense.

Issy was oblivious, staring half-dazed at the TV or playing Mario Kart on her Switch as her brother ran his thumb up my thigh in reassurance.

Clearly, he thought he was helping, but I was on edge. My gaze darted to Issy with nearly every stroke.

He texted me and my phone dinging made me cringe.

ANSWER: You’re practically sweating.

LEONIE: You’re too close.

Dom looked down at me with concern and then typed a quick response.

ANSWER: I’ll go.

He got up and I went to protest before slamming shut my mouth as Is looked up from her game.

“I think I’m going to head out,” he announced, taking both of our empty plates to the sink. “I’ll wash up when I’m back.”

“Cool,” Issy said as I blabbed, “Where are you going?”

“Probably see Anton,” he said, placing them in the sink. “Got some turf issues that need to be rectified without him getting trigger-happy too soon.”

I’d have to ask Rocco about that.

But he’d said probably. So he had no actual plans.

He showered and, unlike me, walked to my room in just his towel, his cat rushing after him to lick the droplets off his ankles. I busied myself with my phone, looking down so I didn’t want to get on my knees and do the same as Ghost. Because, damn, I could. His muscular body had me in a chokehold. I wanted to get out a rope and climb him.

When he returned, he was dressed for the summer weather: baseball cap, t-shirt and shorts. All black.

I would still get out my ropes and carabiners.

“Right,” he said, grabbing a rucksack I hadn’t even noticed in my room. “I’ll be off then.” He glanced my way.

“Bye,” Is said, eyes closed, nestled into a cushion. She’d guzzled the rest of the juice carton while Dom got ready and she was now in a sugar coma.

“Bye,” I said and gave the most awkward wave of my life.

He pursed his lips, trying not to laugh at me, then brought his palm to them and blew a kiss my way.

I rolled my eyes, all awkwardness gone.

“Go!” I mouthed.

As the door closing shook the wall slightly, Issy groaned. “He can never just do something. He’s got to be extreme. Just close the door, don’t slam it.” She let out a deep sigh and pressed her palm to her forehead. “Why are you wearing that?” she asked without opening her eyes.

I looked down at myself. I was wearing a baggy top and lycra gym shorts. “Why am I wearing what?”

“The tiniest shorts in the world,” she said with a laugh. “Roc never trains you on Sundays. Are you going to the gym?”

“I might do some pilates in my room,” I told her. I had a gym mat somewhere in this flat.

“It’s got nothing to do with your revived friendship with Dom, right?”

“I don’t follow,” I said. “We did talk about the gym yesterday and he said he could show me the ropes.”

“He’ll show you more than just the ropes,” she mused and gave a small chuckle. “He’ll break your heart, Leo. Don’t go anywhere near him. He’s my brother. I’d hate for a man to come between us. We’re better than that.”

We were, but fury had me bolting upright at her accusation. “Sorry, Issy, I must misunderstand you. Because you threw us together last night when you left with the guy that I was talking to! No heartbreaking is going on, but your suspicions are only because of your actions. You left the two of us, forced us to spend time together and don’t expect us to become friends?”

She rolled her head to eye me. “Fair. Sorry. God, I am a hungover dick this morning. I don’t… Please ignore me. I know you wouldn’t. It’s just… the whole thing with Mia and him when they first got together. I hated it and now it’s awkward because they’ve broken up. I’ve lost a friend and I can’t lose you.”

She hadn’t been alone in that hatred. But now I was the one lying. I should tell her. I should just tell her.

But then risk losing everything.