37. Must Have Slipped

37

MUST HAVE SLIPPED

“ W hy did you get so quiet?” Easton asked when they got into the hotel room. “You’ve been like this for about an hour or more. Even in the taxi you weren’t saying much.”

“How come you didn’t tell me you talked to your ex?”

He lifted his eyebrow. “What?”

“You heard me,” she said, slipping her shoes off. Her movements were jerky and instead of coming back here and getting freaky they were going to fight.

“How did you find out?”

“That’s what you’ve got to say? How did I find out?”

“Had to be Nicole,” he said. “She must have slipped because she’d never do anything on purpose.”

“She did slip. Do you know how that makes me feel that you were talking to your ex and you didn’t even tell me about it? She thought I knew.”

“I’m sure she did,” he said. “But it was no big deal and she knows that. It was the day they were taking the home pregnancy test.”

“You’ll have to explain that.”

“I went to the store,” he said. “Rachelle saw me. I didn’t see her. The next thing I know, she’s calling my name and giving me shit about buying something last minute. Something she always nitpicked about in the past.”

“Which makes no sense,” she said. “Unless she’s not over you.”

“Not my problem if she is or isn’t,” he said. “I wanted to walk away from her and she asked how I was doing. I asked why she cared. She said she used to love me and still cared.”

“Not what I want to hear.”

“Why?” he asked. He was starting to undress in jerky movements too. “It’s not like I love or care for her. If I was a woman and she was the man, I would have put my finger in her chest and shoved her back. Does that make you feel better or get you to understand? But I couldn’t do anything other than walk away.”

Her head went back and forth. “You met her fiancé.”

“I did,” he said. “And I’ll be petty and say I wanted to laugh. He’s not what I thought. He’s jealous of me and it might have fed my ego a touch. I threw a few comments out there about the fact that he knew she was taken and yet still approached Rachelle.”

“So you’re jealous,” she said.

“No,” he said. “I’m saying that it’s low and he’s a piece of shit for doing it. You don’t poach on another man’s woman. Never. People who do deserve what they get in life. Those two deserve each other. I’m not sure what the big deal is. It was a five-minute conversation and then I walked away.”

“But you’re worked up,” she said. “And you were worked up enough that you went to Liam’s house. That is what Nicole was trying to say. She started to point out that everyone loved me and they didn’t care for Rachelle.”

“That’s right,” he said. “I don’t even know how many comments I got on how great you were. How real you were. That you are the type of woman I should have been with all along. Not because of how you look, because none of my friends are going to comment on that. It had to do with how you carry yourself. You didn’t need to be glued to me the whole night. You didn’t need me to entertain you. Half the time I had to find you.”

“And that bothered you?” she asked.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m not used to that either. I can’t believe we are fighting over this. We don’t get to see each other much and now we are going to spend our time talking about this?”

“Listen,” she all but growled at him. “You know what happened with my ex. How I feel about liars and cheaters. You had the same thing happen to you. I go out of my way to always tell you when Abe is around so that you know I’m never hiding anything from you.”

“I trust Abe,” he said, running his hands through his hair.

“But you don’t trust me?” she asked, her jaw dropping.

“I trust you too. Not even for the fact of what happened to you, but because we share the same values. I would hope that you’d trust me, but I’m starting to wonder about that if you’re so worked up over the fact that my ex stopped me and gave me shit. I walked away. I don’t understand this. It sounds like you’re the jealous one now.”

“I’m not,” she said. “I’m really not. I know you’d never go back to her. I believe that one hundred percent. I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me. You’re going to say it’s not a big deal, but if it’s not, then say it.”

“What was I supposed to say? Oh, guess who I saw that gave me some line of shit in the store?”

“Yes!” she shouted. “Then you could have talked it out with me . That is what people who love each other do. You come to me and say how you’re feeling. If Philip tried to reach out to me again, you’d be the first to know about it.”

“Because I’d have to hunt him down and break him in half.”

Her jaw dropped again. “You don’t get jealous. I’ve heard that tonight from more than one person.”

“I’m not jealous,” he said.

She grinned. “Really? Care to explain that response to me then?”

He didn’t like the look on her face. And he couldn’t explain it because then it would come off like he was jealous.

“What do you want me to say?” he said. “I don’t want to fight. If I start talking you’re liable to accuse me of being smooth again and talking my way out of something.”

“I was starting to feel that way until you mentioned breaking him in half,” she said. “Now I’m not so sure. It’s okay to tell me your feelings. I’m not going to judge you. Even though I judged you in the beginning. But I haven’t since, right?”

“No,” he said.

“Then talk to me. You say it’s not a big deal, but it had to be something,” she said. “You dated her for years. If you didn’t feel that much for her that you could just walk away like that, why did you hang on?”

He took a deep breath. “It was comfortable,” he said.

“Ouch,” she said. “I don’t want you to ever say that about me.”

“You don’t want me to be comfortable around you?” he asked, not sure how to take that comment.

“I don’t want what we have to be comfortable. I want it to be hot, spicy, and even explosive at times. That doesn’t mean sex or anger. It can be fun too. It can be humor. I want you to feel all sorts of things with me but not have comfortable or contentment be anywhere near the top of the list.”

“It sure the hell isn’t there right now,” he said.

“Good,” she said. “So you stayed because it was easy? I’m not trying to insult you, but I don’t picture you the type of guy to take the easy way with anything.”

“I’m not,” he said. “She left because she said I couldn’t give her what she wanted. I tried, but she never said what it was she wanted. I told you that. How can you be something or someone if that person doesn’t even know what it is?”

“Exactly!” she said. “So stop worrying you’re not enough for me. I don’t worry I’m not enough for you. I know I’m more than enough. Sometimes I worry I’m more than you can handle.”

It was the wiggle of her eyebrows that had him laughing. “You are,” he said.

“I didn’t want to fight tonight.”

“Neither did I,” he said. “We don’t see much of each other.”

“And you said that again. Why? Are you upset over that or do you worry I am? We have to talk this shit out. I don’t have a problem with it, but maybe you do. And then if that is the case, we have to figure it out. As much as it kills me to say I don’t want the distance to be an issue, if it is for you, then you need to tell me.”

“It’s not,” he said. He moved to sit on the bed. “I think I’m worried you will say I’m going slow. That I could come and stay with you and it’d fix it.”

“You could if you wanted to. But that is up to you. I’m working during the day. It’d just give us the nights to sleep together, but you’re still working when I’m sleeping at times. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have you in my bed at night, but I’m not sure we are there just yet. Not to live together. Am I wrong?”

He let out a breath. “No. Not wrong. Thanks for saying that.”

“See, talk to me. Lawyers like to talk, but you aren’t doing that great of a job of it right now. I like what we’ve got. It’s no one else’s business how we handle our relationship.”

“No,” he said. “It’s not. I like what we’ve got too. I can spend more time with you if you want.”

“I want you to want it,” she said. “Not because you feel like I need you there. We have to work this part out.”

“If I said I wanted to come on Thursday night and work there on Friday, what would you say?”

“I’d say we can make sure there is a comfortable spot for you to work at in the house. But on Friday when I’m at work I’m not going to worry you’re at my place and I should be with you.”

“Thank God,” he said. “I don’t do well with that obviously.”

“I’m not someone that likes to make someone feel guilty. Don’t compare me to your ex. I sure the hell don’t compare you to mine.”

“I’m not comparing you in general.”

“You’re comparing the relationship and that is the same thing. I moved too fast with Philip. You probably moved too slowly with Rachelle. That doesn’t mean we have to do the opposite with each other now. We know what we had before didn’t work, but what we have now can. Just think of it that way.”

“I didn’t realize you were this smart,” he said, pulling her down so that she was sitting on his lap.

“Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving.”

“They can be,” he said. “But not with us.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you!”