16. Elian

Elian

Elian was in a daze as he stood outside in the night air, waiting for Harlan to come back from the watch wall. He had found a stick in the grass and threw it out for Clove, and she fetched it every time for about ten minutes. When she bounded up to him, her tail wagging, Elian smiled and took the stick from her mouth before throwing it out again. It went further this time, and she disappeared into the darkness looking for it. Clove was a good wolf-dog, and she seemed to have taken to him to the point where Elian had let her stay in his room at the inn the night before. He hoped Owen didn't mind, but she was Rem's pet, after all.

She would need a new owner.

The night was cold, the air crisp. Elian's eyes caught Eris and Istus in the northern sky between broken clouds. Then he looked for other constellations, picking out the stag in the west. The stars that made up what appeared to be a line of antlers made his heart still, for it brought back memories of the deranged men in the woods.

He looked out at the fort, staring at nothing, as the painful memory came back to him. Of those men holding him down, bruising him, taking advantage of him… Elian gritted his teeth and swallowed hard. He had to bury this deep within himself. How could a Core Wielder have allowed himself to become so vulnerable and weak?

Perhaps I am weak. Like Owen said, the Legion chose wrong.

He sighed and tightened his hands on the wooden rails of the deck overlooking the fort. After Owen and his companions left the office, Elian had told Harlan everything else that Owen had left out. About Amias's capture, to Owen's Cleansing and escape, to chasing him back down and finding Owen just as he was opening the Gate. He explained as much as he could about fighting the beasts and Arroki, even the crow. He didn't tell him about Mordren coming for Owen yet, which put the whole fort at risk. Elian and his brother had their qualms in the past, but it was evident Harlan was glad to see him by the way he'd embraced him afterward. His brother was even willing to house Elian's ‘comrades.'

In the past few weeks, there had been times when Elian's mind had wandered within the darkness. It began with Rose's death and took greater hold of him when he spent night after night looking out into the blackness searching for monsters. After the men had defiled him, the darkness had become nearly complete. He thought of taking his own life. A simple cut down his wrists, or perhaps he'd place a noose around his neck. In mere seconds, the misery that had become his life could be over.

But with each temptation, he'd thought of Rose. He often wondered what her last thoughts might have been before she'd died in the ritual room. She didn't end her life, it was taken from her. Violently and by those she trusted. And for that, Elian knew in his heart he deserved what had happened to him, that he must live with it forever. What had transpired in that ritual room was deplorable, and he had stood to the side and watched like a coward .

I am no different from the devil who is coming for us all.

For so long, he'd hidden behind his Core, masking the truth of his past. A young boy living on a farm that the city took away because his father couldn't keep it up after Elian's mother died. And when they lived in the slums of Luthien—Elian, his father, and Harlan—he'd gone months digging in food bins looking for anything left over. He'd stolen from stalls, picked pockets, tricked people out of money.

When he entered the academy, life began to turn around. Then, once he entered the brotherhood of the Legion, everything changed. It was a cult in itself, full of men and women who shared secrets among themselves; Elders and council members who performed rituals on innocent people who didn't ask to be born with power; men who had grown so cold to what the Cleansing did to each of them. But those of the Legion also indulged in food and games, pleasure and power. Wealth . The draw was irresistible.

He winced as a sharp pain ran through his right hand. He still couldn't get used to having three of his fingers gone, and while they were healed, there was still a strange phantom pain there every once in a while. He was limited now in what he could do. He was essentially useless.

When he felt a wet nose against his hand, Elian looked down at Clove and patted her head. The stick was gone, and he figured she had tired out, as she lay next to him and panted.

Footsteps approached nearby, and Elian looked over to see his brother coming up to him. Harlan stood several inches shorter than himself, and he had their mother's dark-blond hair and blue eyes. He was reminded of her every time he saw him, and his heart always ached .

As Harlan came up beside him, he bent down to pet Clove. "Yours?"

"Not exactly," Elian said, looking down at her as she licked Harlan's face.

"Might as well be. I know how you like dogs."

Elian sighed and nodded. "Perhaps… if I wasn't in such a dire situation and far from home right now."

"I'd say you're pretty close to home now."

"Right…" Elian blinked and looked away. Luthien was his home, that was true. Avathon was his home country, but his father no longer lived in the city. Instead, he'd retired to the countryside. Elian was thankful for this, at least.

As Harlan stood to his feet, he pointed up at the black sky. "You see Eris and Istus?"

Elian smiled warmly. "I do. I always hoped to bring you to the observatory in Milarc to see them closer with the telescope."

"Perhaps in another fifty years?" Harlan laughed. "When we're old men about ready to die."

Elian laughed with his brother, something he hadn't done in a long time.

"How's your hand?" Harlan asked.

Elian shrugged. "It's… healing."

"And your face?" Harlan's brow furrowed in worry. "You cleaned up, but you have so many bruises."

His eyes were distant as he said, "It's nothing." While he'd told Harlan about the cannibals, he'd left out the details of their capture.

"Hmm." Harlan looked out over the fort. "It's remarkable that Owen was able to heal your hand. If it wasn't for the quakes and the monsters we've seen, I wouldn't believe it at all. "

"It's a lot for one to ponder." He thought of Rhielle and hoped she was safe in Luthien. "I've gathered that the Gate opening is the cause of the quakes. As for them happening as far as Milarc in the past year… Well, I can only attribute it to spirits creating rifts within our world somehow. These spirits have slipped through the cracks, which explains the shadow graugs and Horggs in the graveyard."

Harlan glanced at him with a look of terror in his blue eyes and freckled face. "Why would spirits be trying to get here?"

"Their channels were cut off. There's nowhere for them to go after death. I know that sounds outlandish."

Harlan nodded slowly and looked away as if Elian was mad. His brother had never really believed in things as this, but there was no denying it now. Clearing his throat, Harlan said, "The letter's ready to send. Are you sure you want to leave Owen out of it?"

"Yes. I swore to Owen I would aid him. If the Legion knows we have him, they'll come here and detain him. It's best to keep him hidden and let them aid us instead, without their knowing upfront."

Harlan laughed and placed his hands on the wooden rail. "My brother just said ‘The Legion' as if he wasn't part of it." He glanced at Elian and raised an eyebrow.

"It's been a rough few months. I'm saying things I never thought I would…"

"Things I'd always hoped you would say." Harlan smiled.

His brother seemed to understand, and no doubt saw the pain etched on his face. The pain of losing Rose, of not knowing what to do or feel, of being slandered and violated by men who knew he was nothing more than a coward hiding behind a Core. He wanted to draw a shadow over himself and live within its confines.

"El, my men have been nervous. We've encountered beasts we've never seen before, and they're becoming frequent." His eyes slowly drifted to Elian. "Something is coming, isn't it?" When Elian said nothing, Harlan leaned forward. "El?"

Taking a deep breath, Elian stared beyond the fort walls at the dark line of trees in the distance. In the southern sky, dark clouds loomed, blotting out the stars in the distance. He knew what lay on the horizon.

"Harlan, do you remember when Mother used to tell us stories before bed?" When Harlan nodded, Elian went on, "Some of them were light-hearted, but there were others that terrified you, and you ended up in my bed on those nights. Mother had to stop reading them." He paused to reflect on the memory of them both lying together while listening to their Mother read to them.

He turned to Harlan and said, "The monster under our beds is real, brother."